Lemur Journal!

[delay]

My personal situation is trying to figure out my backup plan should I be forced back into the office 5x days a week and/or made redundant. I may be able to get reasonable accomodations but that is under attack too so I can't count on it.

Thanks for your journal update! In my experience these type of policies are some form of heat wave. When the policies are being implemented there is little room for flexibility. The bosses will have targets and are also worried about their own position. However, the heat dissipates quickly, and after a few months everyone is back on their old schedule. What I would consider is to build credit by conforming during the initial heat wave, and trade it for concessions later.

[Lemur]

@2Birds1Stone

Open to advice on this one. I don't know if I have a good plan or not but I can type out how my thinking is. Since my initial lumbar flare-up in November, and continued setbacks, I have had to rethink my training approach altogether. My initial goal starting last year was bulk through 2024 and then cut to be lean by summer 2025. Unfortunately, I think that goal is now out of reach. Continued setbacks with this injury and on/off dieting has made me sort of realize that I need to be more patient but also come up with a more holistic approach to fitness. Centered on some pillars… Here are the core pillars I came up with: Strength, Cardio, Flexibility, Diet / Body Composition, Sleep, and Mental.

I have had an overemphasis on strength and body composition for most of 2024. Since I have been injured, one thing I realized is my cardio, while okay, I let slide while I was bulking. My flexibility is absolute trash. Body composition could be better (I’m floating around 20-22%). My sleep is off due to sciatica and bad caffeine habits. Its hard to sleep when your damn back is cramping and your leg is on fire. And my mental health is usually decent but since injury, I’ve been overthinking things, doing too much doom scrolling, and generally not handling stress as well as I should.

Therefore, training has been interesting and one I am still figuring out... I was on a path to recovery and then had a setback. You know how sometimes those with severe IBS or auto-immune disorders will do these elimination diets and then slowly re-introduce foods to find out their triggers? I did something similar with exercising. First setback I tried re-introducing Squats. Got setback. Then RDLS. Got setback. So okay don't do anything like that but rack pulls have limited range of motion and should get me to hip hinge again so I did that and bam another setback. Unbelievable. I feel like I am bracing correctly after watching and replicating the movement tons of times but for whatever reason I just don't respond right to these movements at all.

So at the moment I am hunched over once again. These continued issues with lumbar herniated discs and a repetitive strain injury. One theme I found in common is every time I get injured it’s due to a hip-hinge movement. Squats, deadlifts, RDLs, and now rack-pulls all have one thing in common: compression + lumbar flexion. Whatever it is - my back just doesn't respond well. Maybe I’m doing too much too fast…or perhaps I’m simply just not being patient enough and letting my back recover before getting back into these.

In any case, I wish to to remedy the problems once and for all and I think this will require me to sideline being lean for 2025 and just focus this way:

Strength – Stick with high rep, low weight for a while. No heavy loading anywhere until this damn injury finally resolves. I am mostly sticking to machine work and not free weights.

Cardio – Do more of this at low impact. Elliptical is nice. Aim for 3-4x a week.

Flexibility – I’ve made some progress opening up the hips but struggling to do simple stretches since my back is locked up. I am tight pretty much everywhere as a result. I have to figure this area out a bit more.

Body Composition – Probably not worry about this one at the moment as I need adequate calories & protein to recover. Cutting wouldn’t make since and impair healing. Bulking also wouldn’t make sense as I’d probably just get fatter. So I need to just focus on whole foods healthy diet and stay at maintenance for a long while.

Sleep – Definitely could be better…too many nights I only sleep 3 or 4 hours. I get caught in these vicious cycles where I can’t sleep due to sciatica in my leg so I wake up multiple times a night and then to get through the day I end up taking in a shit ton of caffeine. This perpetuates bad sleep.

Mental – For years now I’m usually by default optimistic but that has taken a hit lately. I’m mostly bummed from being injured. Fitness and being active is huge to me and not performing where I want to really sucks. On the other hand, being injured opened up my world to a lot of reading on how the brain + body interact.

So that is it basically. I'm trying to get in some movement and flexibility everyday and not let the injury take over my life...again.

@NewBlood
Yeah I have been eternally grateful for the fact that job loss is not a big worry for us. It certainly is not optimal though but if they're going to get rid of me, hope it comes with an nice severance. My grandfather is now in rehab but with the good news that we learned is that he did not have a stroke but a UTI that made him disoriented and dehydrated so he is recovering. Even still at 93, his hospital visits have increased in frequency. My grandfather has zero fear of death which is comforting. He jokes about it all the time anyway.

@delay
Generally this makes since but tbh I am too FI for bs at this point in my life...so no conforming here. Past me would have just put up with it with not much of a fight but right now my back is a bit screwed up and long commuting and delaying rest and recovery is not something I want to do. I'd rather prioritize my health by not conforming and staying work from home as much as possible. Other options include maxing out my leave, taking FMLA, etc. etc. They are going to have to physically drag me back into an office at this point is what I am saying and if it got to that point I'd just resign lol. If I get furloughed it is what it is. I would just do it if my commute was 45 minutes max but I have no intention of 2 hour commute a day 5x a week. I'm done with that life. I usually try to have my cake and eat it too (is that how that quote goes?) but I might not be able to in this case and I am at peace with that.

[2Birds1Stone]

Ugh, sorry to hear about your ongoing struggles with the injuries. I know what that's like, and hope you heal up once and for all.

I don't think you *need* hip hinge movements to build a killer physique, so as much as it sucks to work around these limitations, steer clear for a loooong time and if you ever do reintroduce, do it super light and focus on form/stretch/tempo....(I'm currently using ~110% of my BW for high rep RDL's and squats)

As far as a plan for 2025......I think focusing on performance with resistance training and cardio is a good move, stay near maintenance calories and I would be extremely surprised if you body composition doesn't improve as a side effect. Coming out of an injured/detrained state, recomping is very plausible and even likely. Don't get to down on yourself, our physical prowess is such a fleeting state when the variables shift too unfavorably, and that can happy at any point in time to anyone. If you place too much of your happiness/self worth on your results, it's easy to get discouraged when you're not at a 100%. Instead, focus on showing up for yourself when you're not 100%. You are still a relatively able bodied man with a free mind and the world is your oyster. Focus on the small wins, stay consistent to the best of your abilities and things will improve.

I also don't think that a quick cut to get say from 20-22% down to 15-16% would hurt recovery/healing all that much. So if at some point you get sick of easing, drop into a deficit for a few weeks, keep protein high and get after it. It should only take 6-8 weeks out of the year to get back to something you might feel better at (mentally or physically). BUT low 20's is neither unhealthy nor should be hindering performance too much, so there's no need for it unless YOU feel better being leaner.

Hope that helps, if you have any tactical questions, lemme know.

[Scott 2]

Have you worked with a PT on the sciatica?

Writing of flexibility, rather than mobility, makes me wonder how deeply you've explored the space. The low hanging fruit could be surprisingly rewarding. Someone like Kelly Starrett has good stuff.

My rough strategy in my mid 40's:

Get the body warm, massage soft tissue problem areas, mobilize the joints I'll be using, specifically do work to activate weak spots, then train stability with the improved range of motion. If I'm feeling good, maybe one barbell in the day.


Peak strength is long past, but joint pain is rare. I also hit yoga 1-2x a week. It's a reality check. Both for what the body could do, and what I could lose.

[white belt]

I'll echo @Scott's suggestion to work with a PT (I'm guessing you may have already done this in the past). You've tried to rehab and workout through your condition on your own, but that's resulted in injuries so at this point the help of a health professional makes the most sense. Maybe there are PT's who specialize in working with patients with your condition? I know in my experience with PT (back injury but not sciatica), I did have to find someone that had expertise in working with athletes rather than just gen pop.

The sleep disturbances are always killer. I'd recommend working with your medical providers on addressing that. I tried to gut it out through sleep issues and wish I had just accepted medical intervention sooner. In your case, maybe that's a sleep aid or a painkiller or something else. Have you had a sleep study done? Sleep disorders like sleep apnea and restless leg syndrome are very common in the veteran population, but nearly impossible to detect without a sleep study.

I like your plan to just keep the diet at maintenance now; it would be a counterproductive stressor to be in caloric deficit. I would fix your sleep and your lifting injury issues first.

Hip hinge motions require a good deal of mobility in the lower body, so it could be possible that a lack of mobility is causing more strain on your back. A PT can help determine if that's the case. Squats, deadlifts etc are great compound exercises, but that also means you need a rock solid core and back to perform them. The reality is that some medical conditions/injuries will make them impossible. I like using a belt squat machine (if your gym has one) for lower body stimulus when you don't want to load your spine.

Stress levels are high across the government and government-adjacent workforce. Even though I'm only part time, I still find myself thinking about this a lot. Unfortunately the typical "low information diet" advice feels the equivalent of telling someone to stop "worrying" about a weather forecast during a hurricane season that might require evacuation. I don't check social media anymore, but I still check places like AP News, Lawfare, and WSJ daily. My plan going forward is to identify a window to check those sites that is sufficiently offset from both when DW comes home and when I go to sleep. For me that probably means just not checking anything after 5PM or so. Regardless, it's a reminder that stress management is an active practice that requires some deliberate effort, even if that effort is just some dissociative activity like watching netflix or playing video games.

[chenda]

Unfortunately the typical "low information diet" advice feels the equivalent of telling someone to stop "worrying" about a weather forecast during a hurricane season that might require evacuation. I don't check social media anymore, but I still check places like AP News, Lawfare, and WSJ daily. My plan going forward is to identify a window to check those sites that is sufficiently offset from both when DW comes home and when I go to sleep. For me that probably means just not checking anything after 5PM or so. Regardless, it's a reminder that stress management is an active practice that requires some deliberate effort, even if that effort is just some dissociative activity like watching netflix or playing video games.

This is excellent advice. Late night scrolling is the worse and can be highly triggering.

[NewBlood]

My grandfather is now in rehab but with the good news that we learned is that he did not have a stroke but a UTI that made him disoriented and dehydrated so he is recovering. [...] My grandfather has zero fear of death which is comforting. He jokes about it all the time anyway.

That's awesome news! Go Grandpa!

[Lemur]

@2Birds1Stone

On second thoughts, I have to remember its important to not develop fear of movements...so definitely no loading still (common sense rules apply) but after some YouTube University I did find that those who have injuries and poor mobility can use elevated squats as a way to get around that limitation. So I found a platform just like in this image:

https://www.inspireusafoundation.org/wp ... s-used.gif

Did 30 reps bodyweight, 15 reps with 30lbs only on the back, and attempted 15 reps with 30lbs on a front squat (I could only get 11...shows how weak my chain is). Walked away with some soreness but this was not painful. Actually felt good to get bloodflow going in this area. I'm walking more upright today. It is hard to ignore an exercise that can hit all-around: lower back, abdominals, hips, glutes, and hamstrings.

Regarding calories, I decided to go high-protein (130-180 grams), carbs under 100, and the rest fats and keep calories around 2000. 1 reason is ultimately I do think I'll feel better working towards a goal of losing this extra bodyfat and also agree that I don't think this will hurt recovery. I've nothing against carbohydrates but my recent bloodwork was perfect sans glucose (108). So figured this would be a good time to try this way of eating out again. I like it so far. Energy is really stable and I'm not hungry.

I am getting good sleep now. Caffeine is restricted to 200mg in the morning only and I got a hold of a painkiller + melatonin.

It has only been 5 days but weight dropped from 185 to 179. Some of that is water for sure but weight is dropping...pain is dropping...sleep is getting better. I am getting out of this funk and I think I am on the right track!

@White Belt

I took your advice and got a hold of a painkiller. Enough to last 2 weeks. Its been night and day now that I am getting good sleep. Should be enough supply to get me back going again. Taking 10mg of melatonin on top.

@White Belt / Chenda

Yeah regarding stressors with the world, news, my back, job, family etc. etc...well I gotta compartmentalize better. This has already gotten easier now that I am sleeping better. Too easy for me to forget that sleep is critical.

@Scott 2

umm...I think there is definitely some low hanging fruit here. My PT last year was pretty good but in hindsight didn't do much. I really think where she was most useful was getting me out of the fear of movement cycle. I kinda of use flexibility and mobility interchangeably with the understanding that these are two different things. Still I have much to learn in this area. I did some superficial research on Kelly Starrett and he seems legit, credentialed, and has some good stuff to offer. I followed along with one of his hip mobility videos on YouTube. Found it very useful and going to make that a routine before the bodyweight squats. I have never warmed up with mobility exercises before lifting (usually I just hit a treadmill for 15 minutes). So this might help my routine. My right hip flexor is extremely tight...When I tried to stretch it doing the couch stretch, my right hamstring cramped immediately and I had to stop. So need to figure this out.

@NewBlood

My Grandfather got sepsis. He wasn't breathing well. Priest gave him his last rites. Family all around him. Breathing mask taken off and end of life care began with the expectation he wasn't going to make it. We all said our goodbyes that night (Feb 6) but my Grandfather is one stubborn individual. He just slept a lot...blood pressure and breathing slowly came back up. He's so tired but damn he is recovering. He said "told yall I want to at least see the superbowl before I go." We couldn't believe it.

Heading out to visit him tonight. These things can turn quickly.

[NewBlood]

holy crap, Lemur, such whiplash... I hope he got his superbowl wish and more. much strength to you and yours.

[Lemur]

March 1, 2025

Net-worth:
$1.105m

Finances: Wealth up but I sold $60,000 worth of U.S. equity and split between $30k GLDM (Gold Etf) and $30k VUSXX (Vanguard Treasury Money Market). Any investments I did make were towards international ETFs or value ETFs. It is my belief that a recession is coming and the stock market will not grow YTD. De-risking now also due to the fact that I place job loss at 50/50 odds.

Spending/SWR: Right on the dot of $2500.00. 2.71% SWR when annualized.

Health/Fitness: I kicked ass this month. I am pretty much 95% healed. Riding off that high. Being injured sucks. What worked was a combination of things: Hip mobility drills daily! (Thanks Scott for the Kelly Starrett recommendation, that made a world of difference), focusing on trap bar deadlifting as my only heavy lift. Initially very cautious..I started with 65lbs and went up every workout. I'm up to 185 pounds for 8 reps and will probably hang around this weight for a bit before progressing again. And everything else was light weight but high reps. Upping Cardio on the ellipitical helped as well. Getting my sleep in order. And generally eating more healthy food probably played a role. I didn't last long with the low carb deal so cut that out. Instead I focused on keeping my protein up but also my fiber intake as well.

Learning / Reading: Still reading this book by Daniel Yergin....almost done. I'm a bit of a history buff lately (actually I do often default to learning about the past). Especially middle-eastern conflicts...they're intriguing. I watched a lot of YouTube videos about: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iran%E2%80%93Iraq_War . And the events leading up to it. I haven't tackled 90s conflicts yet so interested in the War in the Gulf and the Bosnian conflicts. Lastly, I probably won't be re-reading about the Rwandan Genocide ... that one hits heavy and you'll be left with thinking about humanity differently.

Job: Not let go .... yet. My February monthly post deatils that more. I'm still weighing options. Given that job loss and a recession is a real threat, I'm actually very motivated as of late to double down on ERE principles:

viewtopic.php?p=299042#p299042

I'm definitely guilty of coasting along at gravy train income though I don't think we're too bad at the spending stuff. But always room for improvement!

Other: My Grandfather did finally pass away about a week ago at 93 and he had a huge influence on my life. Old school Silent Gen get shit done type and that is who he was. He was the only IRL wizard/sage that I needed especially in my younger years. I miss his bluntness but mostly I missed the fact that every conversation he had was seeing how others were doing. Unfortunately since he had a hip injury and the passing of my Grandmother 3 years ago, he wasn't really the same after that. They were married for 64 years and the burden of grief was heavy. He was a frugal guy who had great depression parents but he'd still randomly donate to the local animal shelter because he loved dogs. In his final years, he was a bit more grouchy in general but he maintained his wits until the end. He was at peace with death and often joked about it. I was lucky to have him in my life.

[white belt]

Health/Fitness: I kicked ass this month. I am pretty much 95% healed. Riding off that high. Being injured sucks. What worked was a combination of things: Hip mobility drills daily! (Thanks Scott for the Kelly Starrett recommendation, that made a world of difference), focusing on trap bar deadlifting as my only heavy lift. Initially very cautious..I started with 65lbs and went up every workout. I'm up to 185 pounds for 8 reps and will probably hang around this weight for a bit before progressing again. And everything else was light weight but high reps. Upping Cardio on the ellipitical helped as well. Getting my sleep in order. And generally eating more healthy food probably played a role. I didn't last long with the low carb deal so cut that out. Instead I focused on keeping my protein up but also my fiber intake as well.

That reminds me I need to get working on my hip mobility again. Trap bar deadlifts are great. I think it's a much more natural movement with less chance of injury for a lot of people compared to conventional deadlifts with a straight bar. That's good that you're finding what works for you in terms of diet. When I was tracking macronutrients, I found that in a deficit after hitting my protein needs I much preferred to go a bit lower on fats and higher on carbs, while some people feel better with the opposite. I'm not sure when you are doing your cardio sessions, but for optimal muscle gains you want to have them separated from your lifting sessions by space and time (e.g. if you have to do cardio and lifting on same day, do one in the morning and the other in the afternoon/evening). The research shows that doing cardio at the end of a lifting session can dampen the stimulus for muscle growth.

Learning / Reading: Still reading this book by Daniel Yergin....almost done. I'm a bit of a history buff lately (actually I do often default to learning about the past). Especially middle-eastern conflicts...they're intriguing. I watched a lot of YouTube videos about: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iran%E2%80%93Iraq_War . And the events leading up to it. I haven't tackled 90s conflicts yet so interested in the War in the Gulf and the Bosnian conflicts. Lastly, I probably won't be re-reading about the Rwandan Genocide ... that one hits heavy and you'll be left with thinking about humanity differently.

It sounds like you are just following the stereotypical middle aged man progression when it comes to military history . By the time you're in your 40s or 50s you'll take a great interest in WW2. The middle east conflicts are hard to study in isolation because they are so intertwined and build on previous conflicts. It's always amusing (and tragic) to see how foreign policy in one conflict often lays the groundwork for the next conflict.

[NewBlood]

My condolences Lemur...

But I'm glad you're mostly healed again, that must be a big relief.

[Lemur]

@White Belt

Yep - I've understood this too. I always do cardio either before lifting or on seperate days. If I'm not up for it, I'll substitute a long walk instead.

Been there already - WWII never gets old! Watched a ton of documentaries on that one. One of my recent dives on that was what was going on in Spain during that time (we seemed to have skimmed over this in school or something). Also have watched (and read) much on the Vietnam War. Much modern-day middle eastern conflicts have a common ancestor: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sykes%E2% ... _Agreement . Add in Islamic religious differences, who discovered oil and when, and which countries had what conflicts with bordering neighbors and most can get a better picture beyond "that place has just been fighting forever / it has always been like that."

Funny in high school, I took AP World History and AP U.S. History and the topics were boring to me. Maybe HS just had a way to suck out the fun or something or maybe as a raging hormone teenager I had better ideas with my time or something but I love these studies now. I'm more interested in not is what happening now...but the events that lead up to what is happening now. Perhaps that can help me more project the future.

I believe Jacob has made mention of this book: https://www.amazon.com/2052-Global-Fore ... 1603584218
Need to add this on to my to-do list for sometime this year.

http://www1.lasalle.edu/~reese/adams.htm

John Adams, the 2nd President of the United States, once said
"I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. My sons ought to study mathematics and philosophy, geography, natural history, naval architecture, navigation, commerce and agriculture in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, architecture, statuary, tapestry, and porcelain."

I've wondered how this quote can be adapted to the modern day. Can it be recycled? Maybe the book mentioned above can provide some clarity.

A great article on trap-bar deadlifts and why they're especially effective for novice lifters: https://www.strongerbyscience.com/trap-bar-deadlifts/

@NewBlood

Thank you. The devil is in the details. Recovering from a back injury is a science in itself. But generally holistic approaches I've found works best ...but one of the details is that something must progress in the back/hip area itself. Likely strength and endurance but mobility is very important. I think by getting my hips mobilized, it allowed something in that area to get "unstuck" and for my lower back to finally relax...which enabled it to get back to strength training without pain.

[chenda]

I've wondered how this quote can be adapted to the modern day. Can it be recycled?

I wonder if it's cyclical rather than linear?

[jacob]

It's like spiral dynamics. Red/Blue->Orange->Green. These vMemes also existed back then, just as they exist now, although in different proportions.

[Lemur]

@Chenda

That makes more sense. Zoom out a time scale on any country and it shows. Some places get stuck in politics + war for far too long though. Pinker would argue that generally things are getting better for humanity as a whole though it might not feel that way when we’re bombarded with modern news.

Seems to me that when some countries reach good times it gets taken for granted eventually by the general population, becomes weak, and the cycle starts again. That, or a more aggressive politics + war neighbor crashes the party eventually. Probably a mix of both in most cases.

Edit: @Jacob Some very green countries have tried to incorporate too many blues at once and it hasn’t had good results as far as I know.

Edit Again: Just incase this might be misconstrued as something political (my mistake) …what I mean to speculate is that neighbors that share vMEmes (Green v Green) probably get along. 1 level difference (Green v Orange) can probably tolerate one another. More than that (Green v Blue) perhaps we start seeing conflicts.

This cycle of John Adams quote can happen internally as well without vMeme differences with neighbors. A red country in good times takes there position of power for granted, attempts to expand its empire, then fails miserably and is on the defensive for the next generation. In the past, proportions of reds were higher of course.

[chenda]

@Lemur - Yes I think that's often the case.

You've probably heard of Anthony Beevor but his books Stalingrad and The Second World War are excellent, the later is notable for it's integration of the Asian and European theatres of war which usually tend to be viewed separately.

[jacob]

@Lemur - In particular, Adams is an early observation of [the progression of] cultural development and how the next stage of the spiral rests upon the previous. What Adams is saying (within that framework) is that he must understand and resolve politics as it pertains to conflict in order to create the stability [for complex institutions like schools, universities, academies, factories] that his children need to study and understand how the physical world works. They, in turn, must do that to generate the material wealth so that his grandchildren can afford to focus on the humanities/good life which apparently back then included porcelain.

All three subject fields and cultures were known at the time. However, only the aristocracy had the wealth to afford spending time on the arts. And only some merchants and advanced (at the time) governments had enough stability to develop the sciences. Adams basically understood that in order for more humans to enjoy paintings, poetry, music,... and not forgetting the porcelain , he himself had to make America sufficiently politically stable to build out its science and technology to European levels (at the time) so that one day concert hails would be available to everybody.

Or at least that's how I interpret it.

It's somewhat controversial within SD as to whether it is possible to "skip a stage" and create a society focused on arts, etc. based on a society of political stability while skipping "STEM-development". IOW, whether each stage HAS to be a foundation of the next stage in all societies or whether that's just the way that pretty much ALL western countries have structured their societies---certainly the ones Adams was looking towards. For example, neolithic archeology does suggest the existence of some mathematical understanding or at least astronomical knowledge AND extensive amounts of art... Although, to be fair, not to the same degree of sophistication that Adams was likely aspiring to.

As such Adams had a rare level of insight of how these things were connected---a level of insight that is also rare today.

[philipreal]

Fun fact about me/John Adams, I am apparently his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandson. I wonder what he would think about the world today. I certainly have gotten to study music a fair bit, although perhaps he'd be disappointed about the lack of porcelain.

[Scott 2]

I think by getting my hips mobilized, it allowed something in that area to get "unstuck" and for my lower back to finally relax

Glad you found mobility work that helped.

Learning our personal hot spots is part of aging well. For me the calves are another source of trouble. When they get tight, the ankle restriction goes all the way up my chain, even into the shoulders.

Trap bar deadlifts are awesome. The upper body keeps a neutral position and the weight remains close to the lifter's center of mass. Anymore, if I'm messing with a compound lift, those criteria are mandatory. Unless someone is competing in a strength sport, I see no reason for a heavy straight bar.


You can get a lot done with even 185. I hired a strongman for personal training several years ago. Increasing weight was the very last thing he asked. The goal was every rep fast and crisp, for every set, with consistent rest between. When the plates stop ringing, it's game over. No grinders during training.