I wonder because: I´m an active Couchhost/surfer and tomorrow I´ll be having a work-colleague and a friend over so that the friend can do a health check up on the colleague, while I´m not there due to vacation. The friend is a natural health professional who actively thinks about a sort of recompensating for the use of the flat. I just wonder about the colleague - she´s a nice person and I wonder if this sort of thing would be thinkable to her more now than before?
Could I express myself clearly? Basically I wonder if "paying forward" could change the openess of people to pay forward themselfs or if this just wishful thinking? What´s your experience/opinion?
Ps: due to said vacation I´ll be able to chip in next week
Paying forward - does it work?
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jacob
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In general, that's a definite maybe. It depends on whether the person has a scarcity mentality or now. Scarcity may apply to different things for different persons. For instance, you can't wring dollars out of me but I'd be happy to give my time---for others, it's the other way around.
I try to give away things that I'd like to give away anything. If that gives me a possible kick-back so much the better. But in going with the above, I only do it for things that are [too] abundant in my "inventory".
On a societal level, I note that we mainly use trade (exchange) instead of gifting. Conversely, what we call primitive societies mainly use gifting. This suggests gifting in occasions that emulate "primitive" societies. In particular,they operate on social currency which can have substantial value ... especially for people who have enough money anyway.
I try to give away things that I'd like to give away anything. If that gives me a possible kick-back so much the better. But in going with the above, I only do it for things that are [too] abundant in my "inventory".
On a societal level, I note that we mainly use trade (exchange) instead of gifting. Conversely, what we call primitive societies mainly use gifting. This suggests gifting in occasions that emulate "primitive" societies. In particular,they operate on social currency which can have substantial value ... especially for people who have enough money anyway.
Unquestionably doing a good deed makes the doer feel good. Evolution favored the group that cooperated over the individual that did not. The cooperative traits (do good = feel good) were passed on and the uncooperative traits (do bad = feel good) were extinguished.
So if you define "Pay it Forward" as doing a good deed and receiving a good feeling in return, then yes it exists and it works. Taking it a step further, others notice your good deed and may decide to do the same or to reciprocate, returning the goodness back to you. Even further, the recipient passes the goodness to someone unconnected to you, and so on, and so on.... eventually rising the tide of goodness for all.... you included.
It is important to point out that ultimately you are doing it to get something in return. Maybe you want that good feeling, or a pat on the back from friends, or maybe it is a kinder world in general. Regardless, it is not altruism.
So if you define "Pay it Forward" as doing a good deed and receiving a good feeling in return, then yes it exists and it works. Taking it a step further, others notice your good deed and may decide to do the same or to reciprocate, returning the goodness back to you. Even further, the recipient passes the goodness to someone unconnected to you, and so on, and so on.... eventually rising the tide of goodness for all.... you included.
It is important to point out that ultimately you are doing it to get something in return. Maybe you want that good feeling, or a pat on the back from friends, or maybe it is a kinder world in general. Regardless, it is not altruism.
I agree: doing good for me is not altruism. I know that I feel good when doing good. And I hope on a rising tide that will also help me.
The flat was empty, so I could give away the time in it to the two without being much poorer. They probably used light and hot water for tea but I also got a package of tea that I like back, so not much cost attached.
And indeed, if I give things away for free it´s usually things that I don´t want anyway and which don´t have a great resale value except for the person who want´s it. (Example: I had a second tarot-card set and one person really wanted one - less clutter for me - ok gift for the other person)
And it´s also true that the appreciation of the other part will diminish the longer that experience lies in the background. So if I wanted a favour from one or both I´d have to state it very soon afterwards.
Still I just wonder if the rising tide could somehow (how exactly?!) be jumpstarted if the current society is not one that is based on gifts like tribal societies or Japan.
Probably that´s also a definite maybe
And also interesting: WHY do I want a rising tide? To feel good all the time? Hm - have to think about it - thanks for all your input!
@simplex: got "Influence" will read soon
The flat was empty, so I could give away the time in it to the two without being much poorer. They probably used light and hot water for tea but I also got a package of tea that I like back, so not much cost attached.
And indeed, if I give things away for free it´s usually things that I don´t want anyway and which don´t have a great resale value except for the person who want´s it. (Example: I had a second tarot-card set and one person really wanted one - less clutter for me - ok gift for the other person)
And it´s also true that the appreciation of the other part will diminish the longer that experience lies in the background. So if I wanted a favour from one or both I´d have to state it very soon afterwards.
Still I just wonder if the rising tide could somehow (how exactly?!) be jumpstarted if the current society is not one that is based on gifts like tribal societies or Japan.
Probably that´s also a definite maybe
And also interesting: WHY do I want a rising tide? To feel good all the time? Hm - have to think about it - thanks for all your input!@simplex: got "Influence" will read soon
Thought more about why I want the paying forward to work: at the moment it´s twofold: First I´d like to ride on that tide and second it would be much better for the environment, if things that lie around don´t have to create money but can be given away easily.
With FI in mind it´s difficult for me to have a good differentiation on this: do I give that item away or would I rather have the scant money I´d get for it, because that means I´m going to need 33 times less money in the future?
Thanks for discussing!
With FI in mind it´s difficult for me to have a good differentiation on this: do I give that item away or would I rather have the scant money I´d get for it, because that means I´m going to need 33 times less money in the future?
Thanks for discussing!