What you do in your daily life: Your ideal week as an ERE

[lillo9546]

Hi everyone!

This is one of the best topic viewtopic.php?t=2640

It would be fascinating to make a similar topic, but for our desired lifestyle.
What's "the ideal day of an ERE man/woman" and what you think the main "circles" for your week might be?

By "circles" I mean social groups: so rather than writing the activity as "gym group", write "gym".
In fact, every activity we do with others leads us to be part of a certain group of people who do that activity.

Let's start with mine

Circles: gym, running, walking, book club, discovering new cities and towns for their culture or gastronomy, purely nature hikes, surfing and the sea, sporting events, education/instruction (alone or in a group in the library or at schools), family, partner, children, work.

Ideal day:
8 wake up+breakfast+hygiene
9-11 gym+hygiene
11-14 work+lunch
14-14:30 walk/relax in nature or other play and relax activity
14:30-15:30 study
15:30-16:00 work
16-18 time for children: education/activities/events
18-20 family dinner or with friends
20-21 activities with family or friends such as walking or doing things together at home.
21-22 reading/playing an instrument or other activity
22-23 time with partner
23 sleep

Current day
8 wake up+breakfast+hygiene
9-16 work+lunch+snacks
16-18 gym+hygiene
18-20 study
20-21 dinner with family (I live with my parents)
21-23 date, or activities with friends
23-24 reading
24 sleep



It would be so fascinating to hear more about yours! Please put as many details as possible

[DutchGirl]

If you actually have (small) children, consider all those other activities optional. Looking at my brother and my sister who both have a family (not with each other of course), it's:

10 PM to 6 AM: you want to relax and sleep, but perhaps a child is ill or had a nightmare and will come and disturb your sleep
6 AM to 8 AM: get the kids ready for school
8 AM to 2 PM: kids are in school most of the weekdays, BUT a kid could be sick or school could be cancelled for a day, in which case you are taking care of your kids (or maybe a babysitter or grandparent does if that works out)
2 PM to 5 PM: kids are at home! Maybe they brought friends! And they need your attention!
5 PM to 7 PM: try to make food for the kids and have them eat it all, including the veggies
7 PM to 10 PM: get the kids into bed and hope that you have some time to relax

Oh, and in between of course you also have to do a load of laundry and get groceries because otherwise your kids won't have clean(ish) clothes nor food.

[ertyu]

No wonder people need all those productivity bro podcasts and eat pray love books just to hold onto the idea of being a person.

[2Birds1Stone]

Hahhahaha, #facts ertyu

For me right now it looks something like;

~5:00 wake Up
6-8 , make/grab coffee, drink coffee, prepare and eat pre-workout meal, get ready for gym
8-11, walk to the gym, workout, stretch/cool down, walk home
11-13, shower, post workout meal prep/consumption, chill
13-16, explore whatever city/area we're in if the weather is nice, read/write/peruse the interwebz/do chores if the weather is shit
16-18, make dinner/eat, chill
18-21, hang out with spouse, watch a movie, go for a walk if weather is conducive
21:00 bed time

That's if we're just staying somewhere and don't have any activities/socials planned, since we're fully nomadic our days tend to look VERY different based on if we're moving between locations, have a unique activity planned, have social engagements with family/friends etc etc.

I can't imagine working a 9-5 anymore, let alone a job that required more than 40 hours a week of your time/attention.

[zbigi]

~5:00 wake Up
6-8 , make/grab coffee, drink coffee, prepare and eat pre-workout meal, get ready for gym
8-11, walk to the gym, workout, stretch/cool down, walk home
11-13, shower, post workout meal prep/consumption, chill

Isn't it boring for you? Not judging, just trying to understand. For me, if I didn't really get to use my brain for the first 8 hours since waking up, I'd be bored senseless.

[IlliniDave]

I've learned a couple things through my life.

One is that despite an intellectual attraction to the idea of cramming some amount of furtherance across a large number of domains into a daily routine just doesn't work for me. By "large" I mean a number such that I would have to schedule my days out to ensure each item received the desired attention.

At the same time I do find having a rhythm to my days something that grounds me and provides an optimal foundation for whatever it is I do wind up taking on. I came up with a 7 item list.

1. For reasons that aren't relevant here, I'm increasingly putting a priority on optimizing sleep. That includes a consistent bed time that I'm pretty rigid about. It also includes a short nap in the early afternoon more days than not.

2. I like every day to include some amount of physical activity. That can range from "working out" (exercise for the sake of exercise) to just being up and moving a good chunk of the day.

3. I like every day to include some amount of outdoor time

4. I like every day to include some learning activity

5. I like every day to include consumption of food that provides excellent nutrition'

6. I like a dedicated wind-down period in the evening that usually includes some guitar time and possibly some passive stimulus like a movie or documentary on Netflix.

7. I read for entertainment in bed every night

Items 7 and 1 are connected. Whenever I can I combine 2 and 3 and occasionally 4--a hike in the woods while listening to a podcast on a topic of current interest, for example, although the podcast does diminish some of the outdoor experience. I tend to employ restricted eating windows so item 5 tends to be a midday endeavor, and I generally (not always) get all my eating accomplished at least three hours prior to item 7. My approach to 2-7 are all crafted to support item 1. Few days are perfect. I weave have-tos and chores in as I can. Most of my socializing in incidental, though at the present time a visit with my dad is a essentially a daily thing that doesn't really fit into the 7 items above.

Having a lot of freedom and flexibility is important to me as a retiree, and

[7Wannabe5]

@IlliniDave;

Oddly, I would say that my routine of priorities over my years of semi-ERE/slacker self-employment is not unlike yours, with the exception that I would currently sub out your (5) priority for something like "social/family/community engagement" and also add a (8) "some form of novelty." However, the day when I will have to (once again) have reckoning with your (5) is near approaching

[theanimal]

If you actually have (small) children, consider all those other activities optional. Looking at my brother and my sister who both have a family (not with each other of course), it's:

The horror of having to spend time with your own children .

Much of this is a choice and all of the activities mentioned in the OP in this thread can be done with children. It takes more effort and strategizing than if you were to do it on your own, but it's not impossible. Needing to work full time hours and keep up appearances definitely puts a strain on things, especially so if it is true of both parents. Thankfully, the ERE minded individual has solved for that issue.

I'm the primary caregiver of my daughter and I'm able to exercise, play music, cook, go on walks, bike rides, read books and so on every day. Most of the time, baby animal participates in the activities with me. If I'm playing music, she'll dance and run aruond. If I'm exercising, she will intermittently join me and stretch, do push-ups*, do swings with a toy radio and so on. We go on walks, she rides with me on the bike, and helps me cut and mix things when we're cooking.

*A 2.5 year old trying to do push-ups is one of the funniest things in the world.

Now, I'm sure there will be some parents who will dispute what I'm saying and say it's not possible with multiple kids, older kids, and kids who aren't healthy. Maybe they're right. When I first took on the role of primary caregiver I began to subscribe to the idea that they were major limiters, but after 6 weeks or so I realized I was the limitation. With my views, I was imprisoning myself. Kids are capable of much, much more than they are often given credit for. I don't think that feeling was unique to me and sadly I think the perpetuation of it over the long term results in not a small number of parents resenting their kids.

[DutchGirl]

> Much of this is a choice and all of the activities mentioned in the OP in this thread can be done with children.

Sure, but it just seemed like lillo was planning to keep his kid/kids in the cupboard under the stairs until it was 4 PM; and put them back in by 6.

[2Birds1Stone]

Isn't it boring for you? Not judging, just trying to understand. For me, if I didn't really get to use my brain for the first 8 hours since waking up, I'd be bored senseless.

Not in the slightest, since I'm usually reading something interesting with my morning coffee or perusing the forums for example.

Being active in several online communities provides some mental stimulation and location independent sense of connection to other people with similar interests.

I guess I also derive a lot of satisfaction/stimulation from my athletic pursuits. My nutrition is highly calculated, I enjoy preparing and eating tasty food, planning out my training, analyzing performance and figuring out ways to optimize/improve things that will help me reach my goals.

I used to get paid a LOT of money to solve complex problems, and all that led to was burnout and a constant hum in my mind no matter what else I was doing, don't miss it in the slightest.

We're also in an average year spending time in 6-12 different countries, 30+ cities/locations across 2-3 continents.......so there's a ton of stimulation from planning, new experiences and everything else that comes along with living out of a carry-on bag.

Edite to add: All that said, I'm using my current pursuits to build some online presence/momentum and slowly build an organic coaching business for other travelers who wish to take their training/performance/physique goals to new heights while living a similar lifestyle......

[IlliniDave]

... I used to get paid a LOT of money to solve complex problems, and all that led to was burnout and a constant hum in my mind no matter what else I was doing, don't miss it in the slightest ...

I can relate to this, and I did it for a long time. If that type of grind was necessary for my happiness or well being, then "retiring" would have been a bad idea for me. I've found that paying more attention to physical well being is good for the mind (it is hosted in a physiological organ, after all). It just doesn't seem necessary to put it through a hardcore "workout" for hours at a time, day after day. I like to think that the parts of my day that might appear like low cognition periods really aren't, they're simply broadening its overall fitness.

[zbigi]

I used to get paid a LOT of money to solve complex problems, and all that led to was burnout and a constant hum in my mind no matter what else I was doing, don't miss it in the slightest.

I had the same, but now that I don't work (I hesitate to use the word "retired"), my mind is similarly exploited, but by my interests and possibly compulsions, and not by my employer. It's probably not very healthy, since I haven't lost any weight since I stopped working 2 years ago. I was even diagnosed with ADHD recently [*], which could explain some of my scatterbrained interests and constant research on them.

[*] However, the ADHD diagnosis is based on answering a bunch of extremely general questions, to which accurate answers are very hard if not impossible to come by, so I don't put that much stock in it. IOW, if a person comes in and is suspecting they have ADHD, their suspicion will probably affect their answers a lot, leading to a self-fullfilling prophecy (diagnosis).

[delay]

IOW, if a person comes in and is suspecting they have ADHD, their suspicion will probably affect their answers a lot, leading to a self-fullfilling prophecy (diagnosis).

Indeed, if you start diagnosing yourself with DSM-5, you will find you suffer from a lot of acronyms.

[Scott 2]

I had the same, but now that I don't work (I hesitate to use the word "retired"), my mind is similarly exploited, but by my interests and possibly compulsions

I'm a smart guy with diagnosed ADHD and autism.

My full days are extremely similar to the schedule 2b1s provided. Only less intense, as I'm not traveling. And I'm comparatively lazy about my food and exercise.

My slow days are far smaller. I currently have a cold. I dropped everything, other than food and hygiene. It's a perk of fully controlling my time.

I do occasionally set life aside to hyper focus on an interest. As I've gotten a better handle on my mental health, that drive has greatly reduced. I see the pattern as an indicator I'm struggling. When it's bad - I'll skip food, sleep, hygiene - seconding every physical need. It's destructive.


Sorting mental health has been a deep outlet for the intellectual drive. Beyond education, it's doing "easy" stuff I'm bad at. The challenge is enough.

Moving is my essential medicine. First priority of the day, for an hour or two. Since it relieves my anxiety and settles my ADHD, it very much feels like a reward.


The other, truly life changing part, has been medication. I have implemented every possible lifestyle, behavioral, and environmental accommodation. A carefully used stimulant opens entirely different possibilities. In my own case, it's a child's dose. 2.5mg of Ritalin 4-10x a week.

The plan was to increase over time, but because the impact was so dramatic, I have not. I don't want to risk the benefits, by desensitizing myself or incurring negative sides that require stopping the med. It's that good. I even keep a several month backup supply. It's a controlled substance in the US, and knowing the value for me, the desire to mitigate any access disruption is very high.

Because stimulant use can spiral out of control, I won't say they're THE answer for that runway mental train. But if your ADHD diagnosis is accurate, they might help.

[zbigi]

Because stimulant use can spiral out of control, I won't say they're THE answer for that runway mental train. But if your ADHD diagnosis is accurate, they might help.

I'm starting with behavioral changes. More mindful media consumption , more time off screen. I'll use weight loss as proxy for mental wellbeing (I'd like to lose about 5 kg, which I've been unsuccessfully losing for the past 4 years now) - so far, I've usually overworked/overtired myself to the degree that I couldn't get past the slight hunger sensation required for losing weight. Better routines should lead to better mental state, which should lead to weight loss. If that doesn't work, I might consider the drugs.

[Scott 2]

If that doesn't work, I might consider the drugs.

That's what I did. Nine months between diagnosis and trying a stimulant. Even though we had multiple options in the house. I was scared, didn't want to be dependent, had seen them vilified on Netflix, etc.

And one could argue I am dependent. The medicine immediately relieves problems I struggled with forever. I had to reconsider my entire identity. I found myself grieving decades wasted, fighting for control.

I often go without it. There are trade offs. But having the option is life changing. I wish I'd tried it much sooner.

[DutchGirl]

People studying to become doctors would suffer from "candidate disease" (direct translation of the Dutch term for a "candidate" (= student) studying to become a doctor): you diagnose yourself with all kinds of things based on your increasing knowledge of what illnesses can befall human beings. I feel like candidate disease of maybe "medical student disease" is now more open to anyone who can read and has access to the internet.

So beware of diagnosing yourself just because you recognize yourself somewhat in a description of a (mental) illness/aberration/syndrome.

[IlliniDave]

People studying to become doctors would suffer from "candidate disease" (direct translation of the Dutch term for a "candidate" (= student) studying to become a doctor): you diagnose yourself with all kinds of things based on your increasing knowledge of what illnesses can befall human beings. I feel like candidate disease of maybe "medical student disease" is now more open to anyone who can read and has access to the internet.

So beware of diagnosing yourself just because you recognize yourself somewhat in a description of a (mental) illness/aberration/syndrome.

This is a tricky one. I've known some people who probably suffered from hypochondria, arguably the lay version of "candidate disease", and sought out a lot of unnecessary medical intervention. But I've also known a lot of people who for various reasons had bona fide medical issues that for various reasons went undiagnosed or improperly treated.

I don't know about the situation in your country but in the US, standards of care work pretty well if you have an acute problem (an infection or a broken bone) but when it comes to anything complex the default is to attempt the same tactics: "Oh, your blood pressure is high, here's a pill or two or three to lower it." And where a pill or surgical procedure doesn't exist, things often get ignored. And usually the prescribed pills come from a mentality of trying to solve a problem in a complicated system that is actually a complex system. I've talked about this ad nauseam, but in my own attempt to preserve health I've had to go outside the established medical system to determine my true state of health and do something about it. I appeared generally 'normal' for my age because I was being compared to a demographic that was generally unhealthy. But it wasn't very hard to determine that aside from mild hypertension and being clinically overweight (but not obese) I had some pretty clear indications of advancing insulin resistance/prediabetes/fatty liver disease, which in turn point to higher likelihoods of cardiovascular disease, cancer, and dementia in the future.

I don't have any experience with mental health challenges/diseases myself, but I imagine it to be somewhat similar in that I'd guess there's a high chance of mis- or undiagnosed issues, and it seems like many of the interventions are akin to trying to cut a board with a hammer. Especially when it comes to lifestyle interventions, we're largely on our own. And while one should always be reasonably cautious, it's often necessary to be proactive beyond making a call to get an appointment with an MD. Conventional medicine has its place, and as Medicine 2.0 gives way to Medicine 3.0, it's place should broaden and grow in efficacy. But when we hear about this or that chronic condition epidemic, it's a sign that conventional medical practice doesn't have the answer. It may be extra challenging for someone with stress/anxiety struggles since grappling with any sort of health condition tends to cause stress and anxiety which can create a positive feedback situation. But insofar as a remedy/management strategy exists, it often requires taking charge of one's own fate to find it (or a lot of luck in finding a practitioner willing to look beyond standards of care).

[Scott 2]

For what it's worth - any medical stuff I'm talking about, I've seen multiple specialists for. My approach is very much trust, but verify. There are both courses of care I decline, and those I have to specifically request. Drugs are the most common decline, but also a couple specialists and at least one surgery.

Ironically - it's often the early intervention, less invasive options that must be requested. Doctors may be immediately on board, since those actions are effective. But they may not offer, because people don't want the message. They won't or can't do the work. A provider won't offer care they don't think a patient can attain. To do otherwise is cruel.

That's one of the biggest perks of ERE/FIRE. You have space for a higher level of care. Typically constrained to the wealthy, at least in America. I interface with the medical/dental system a few times per month. I have the time, and I solved the insurance problem, so it's affordable.

My physical and mental health aren't just better, they are on a completely different trajectory. My prior patterns created a deficit of care, so I do expect an eventual slowdown. The changes bled into care for my immediate family as well. My wife and parents are healthier.

In terms of stuff I learned during retirement, that I wish I'd had sooner, medical care is top of the list.

[lillo9546]

Guys, the topic was created with the hourly format to make it easier to view and compose.

Let's try to keep it this way, even for newcomers to participate..
A bit like viewtopic.php?t=2640