Gravy's Sober Ramblings

[Biscuits and Gravy]

A la viewtopic.php?t=13043. Thanks for the inspiration, Chenda.

Hi, my name is Gravy. I'm 36 and I've been drinking since I was 18. It's never really gotten me into trouble, but I've been trying to stop for the last few years and it's never stuck.

Yesterday I was Christmas shopping with my mother at Hobby Lobby in the middle of the day and a dude whipped out his dick and waggled it at me. Now. I've had men holler at me. I've had men whistle, honk, "accidentally" brush into me, say inappropriate things, and look me allll up and down, but never before have I had a man whip out his dick and waggle it at me. Especially not in the clearance aisle of goddamn Hobby Lobby.

I was stunned. Disgusted. Confused. On the way home I stopped by my neighborhood liquor store and bought my brand of vodka and the cashier I usually exchange pleasantries with suddenly frightened me with his maleness and I retreated to my car with vodka in hand and thought, well, that dude would probably rape me if he could get away with it.

And I went home and killed half a bottle of vodka all by my lonesome. And when I woke up this morning I wasn't hung over in the least bit. No, I was just angry at myself for letting some dick get the best of me like that. And then I started thinking on what is the best of me, and then I poured out the remainder of the vodka, and tossed out my wineglasses, corkscrew, and wine stopper.

Anyway. October 27, 2024, that's it, I'm out. Because some dude waggled his dick at me.

[2Birds1Stone]

Sorry that you had to experience that. In for the journey......

[Western Red Cedar]

That sounds awful. Hopefully some roses grow out of that bullshit. Best of luck with your sobriety.

[ertyu]

his dick is gross enough to turn a career drinker off the bottle, huh
good luck kicking the habit, and fuck that guy

[zbigi]

good luck kicking the habit, and fuck that guy

He wishes!

[loutfard]

Good luck!

[chenda]

Good luck biscuits!

What an utter perv, did you report him ?

[Frita]

That sounds like a shock to the system on more than one level. Dick waggling is about power and control. It is assault, whether or not viewed as such in your local, and traumatic. Way to channel that into something even better for yourself, Gravy!

[Henry]

Especially not in the clearance aisle of goddamn Hobby Lobby.

I don't know. It seems a more likely place than the jewelry department of Saks Fifth Avenue.

Anyways, you should report it to the store and the police. It can't be his first time.

[7Wannabe5]

Yet another sign of the coming apocalypse. The fact that it happened in the clearance aisle of the Hobby Lobby makes a sort of sick aesthetic sense at the level of the post-modern surreal, but more so if his dick was towards the limp rather than erect.

Take very good care of yourself and your internal juvenile feminine vulnerability. My DS36 is checking himself into rehab today. INTP (or any other flavor of nerd) and alcohol is not a good mix, because so often too smart for own good.

[Henry]

but more so if his dick was towards the limp rather than erect.

If it was the latter, I'm thinking power tool aisle of the Home Depot.

[7Wannabe5]

@Henry:

Well, that is where I would take a date if I was ever in SugarDaddyLady mode and more inclined towards seduction through double-entendre. One time I accidentally flashed some guy with boobage in the stinky can return room of a chain grocery store, but he looked like he had already drunk more than enough vodka to deal with it.

[Henry]

One time I accidentally flashed some guy with boobage in the stinky can return room of a chain grocery store, but he looked like he had already drunk more than enough vodka to deal with it.

Hopefully your boob was to that guy what Hobby Lobby's dick was to Gravy.

[7Wannabe5]

No, Gravy's reaction would have been more like my first husband's reaction if I flashed him on any random Friday night after we were married for 16 years. My own reaction once bottle-room-guy's leer alerted me to my wardrobe malfunction was also more like Gravy's.

[UrbanHomesteader]

Ugh. What a jerk!

Sorry that happened to you gravy. Welcome to the sober wagon, it's a smoother ride I find.

[Stacy]

What an awful thing to have happened to you. It sounds like you've been a target for a lot of disgusting guys.

It's good that you were able to get back on track after the setback, even if it took until the next morning. I hope you continue to post.

[Biscuits and Gravy]

Thanks so much for all the well wishes and support. That means a lot to me. I know this has nothing to do with FIRE/ERE, so thanks for the leniency there, too. I did report him to the manager, well after the fact, because I was so stunned, and the manager said he would look at the store's footage, but there was probably nothing they could do. Understandable. Mostly I just wanted to give the manager the guy's measurements so he could keep an eye out for him.

his dick is gross enough to turn a career drinker off the bottle, huh

I lol'd.

My DS36 is checking himself into rehab today. INTP (or any other flavor of nerd) and alcohol is not a good mix, because so often too smart for own good.

Wishing all the best for your son, 7. It's true about the INTP crowd, add into that OCD or any other alphabet soup nonsense and there's just too much going on up there. I've been on Lexapro for a few years and I'm coming off of it, and I imagine that my brain on Lexapro is what being in the center of the healthy brain bell curve must feel like. Conscious thought is a pleasant, navigable stream. Off that shit, though, dang, I'm back to my thunderous waterfall of often conflicting yet simultaneous thoughts, ideas, feelings, and moods. I'm trying to hold out the bucket and catch the shit that really matters, but it's overflowing at all times. And booze can kill that. For awhile there's quiet. So I feel and feel for your son.

Welcome to the sober wagon, it's a smoother ride I find.

But dude, the days are so long. How do you deal with how long the days are? I can only read so many books and go for so many walks.

It sounds like you've been a target for a lot of disgusting guys.

Oh, I could go on. I could mention the police officer, sidearm always on display, who would tell me most mornings as I passed by him into my office that I should smile more, and memorably one time telling me, "Your face is real estate. If you want to make it more valuable, you should smile." Hah hah, hah hah, thanks, my dude, who is at least 30 years my senior, what a super nice and totally not off-putting thing to say to me at 8 a.m. Or I could mention the oil and gas company that hired me for my language skills as a 24 year old and then used me solely for ordering lunches for the male attorneys, and, again, memorably, one of those male attorneys randomly taking me out on a lunch date to "meet one of [his] law school buddies" and that buddy showing up with HIS 24 year old assistant, and I realized that they were in a competition to see who had the cutest assistant. Or that asshole who told me, "Mm, yeah, I like those high heels on you," as I was badging into a file room. In his defense, they were wicked cute high heels, and I never wore them again. One of the best things about not working anymore is no more exposure to casual sexual harassments in the workplace. Yay! I'm also giddy about getting older, because maybe men will finally stop noticing me. Not, y'know, hating on men here. It just gets old. And there's no way to tell which stranger is not going to harass you. It's like that excellent and ultimately ironic Louis C.K. bit about men being women's biggest threat. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyJrRRMO-VM

[ertyu]

But dude, the days are so long. How do you deal with how long the days are? I can only read so many books and go for so many walks.

This is a known issue; "wtf do i do with my life now that i dont waste my time on bad habit X" is legit. I once heard someone phrase it as, "what do i do now that im not stoned all the time and i can't delude myself i can play the guitar and pretend to be the next jimmy hendrix." The trap is, of course, to immediately reach for another dopaminergic time-waster, substance based or not. So, what are you thinking? How will you deal with how long the days are?

[Biscuits and Gravy]

Thanks, ertyu, for the prodding. My first thought was that I need something that gets me out of the house, out of my head, with other people, working toward a common goal, and that sounds a lot like getting a job, so I considered what I pined for while I was working. One of the things I pined for was the opportunity to get in the car and drive somewhere, anywhere, in Texas and kick around unfamiliar parts of my country for awhile. I just finished an outrageously audacious book, God Save Texas: A Journey Into the Soul of the Lonestar State by Lawrence Wright, in which the esteemed author (who even was awarded a plot in the Texas State Cemetery in Austin) attempts and fails to describe the soul of Texas in a mere 386 pages. To his credit, he at least tried to break it all up by region. The problem is each individual Texan holds their own version of Texas in their hearts. Anywho, I've been thinking it's high time I expanded my version of Texas with my own eyes, so in all my empty hours I'll plan road trips through and research different regions and then go on those trips. It's not meaningful to anyone but me, but there it is.

[zbigi]

But dude, the days are so long. How do you deal with how long the days are? I can only read so many books and go for so many walks.

Bukowski (a consummate drunk) wrote that, because world/life was so dull, he sometimes lied down in his bed for a couple days straight, with the curtains down. I guess that's one way to make even the most trivial stuff somewhat interesting again.