Mousse's journal

[Mousse]

Let's see if I can figure out how to keep a journal in a way that's useful and makes sense to me. Depending on life periods, I tend to divide my life in quadrants I want to focus on (this may match the 'modules' from the book in some ways, I'm still poking at the concepts and adapting my systems). Then I try to balance them all and fail or burn out, but a well balanced life still seems worth striving for so I keep trying After the latest reshuffle, my current set of quadrants seems to be working out this way: self-sufficiency (skills), self-sufficiency (income), physical activity, creativity, learning and social.

For the self-sufficiency ones, I'm basically starting from zero, but I also expect this forum is going to be a good place to think through them and get better. It's hard to find DIY projects that feel feasible within my range, though I have something going on with my fence at the moment that should be workable at my current (non-)level. For the last three quadrants, they're generally balancing nicely at the moment, including in terms of time and money commitments, so don't need as much thinking about.

For expenses, I used to aim for "be able to survive on disability" (which I think was €800/mo at the time, and I really doubt I could do it yet at this stage) and "be able to live comfortably on part-time minimum wages" (currently, 25-30h/week would comfortably cover my total living expenses, assuming I could actually handle the job(s)).

I'm doing okay with the three big "pillars" of expenses, though nowhere near ERE levels (.....yet, if I want to feel optimistic!). Paying off the mortgage helped a lot, of course.

Housing - mortgage free, just insurance and HOA fees and basic maintenance now. The house is actually income-generating at the moment as I took in a lodger to help someone out, and while it’s going well I doubt I will risk it again whenever this arrangement ends. I need a lot of solitude and long stretches of uninterrupted (ideally uninterruptable!) time to be happy. Occasional short-term stays are fun though.

Transport - I haven't driven in two decades and never owned a car. I walk a lot and I'm looking at optimising bus trips a bit more. It adds up to €400/year at the moment. I'm trying to cycle a lot more lately. It's not saving me money because I was already walking everywhere within 5km I always had a mental block about taking public transport or driving within that kind of distance. With the bike, it's going so much faster! My goal is to get more comfortable with cycling now when the weather is dry and the days are long, so I'm less likely to revert to walking when it gets dark at 5pm in winter. And I'm hopeful that because things go so much faster when cycling, I start expanding my range of "I refuse to pay for transportation to get there" beyond 5km. The end goal would be 20km so I don't need the bus for my longest regular trip, but that's definitely a stretch goal! There are no cycle lanes most of the way, lots of traffic, and basically I'm often scared to cycle on the main roads. I'm trying to get used to it now in small stretches of streets I know well but as soon as a car starts driving really close behind me I lose it. Seeing the (re)post about the book Effective Cycling pop up on the blog the other day was really timely, I'm going to read that soon.

Food - My eating out budget is €60/mo which used to cover 4 meals, nowadays 3. I never eat out or order takeaways on my own outside of vacation, but my friends are spread out so meeting in the middle for a meal makes sense. I'm trying to make more local friends as well but finding my fellow weirdos takes time Groceries are at €200/mo. I'm annoyed about that. I was averaging €180 and trying to get back to €150 before the recent inflation, but it's time to focus again on reducing it. Just paying attention this month is making me realise that some of my habits don't make sense, e.g. a number of products I selected 6 years ago because they were nice and the cheapest are now still nice but really expensive in comparison. For the rest of the month, I'm trying to mostly eat stuff I already have at home. This is not exactly going the way I expected, and I probably should learn how to make interesting sauces to go with all that pasta in my cupboards, but shaking things a bit is helping! I also made easy-weird pizza this week when I had a craving, for the cost of some flour, a third of a 99 cents tube of tomato puree and some grated cheese. Hadn't made that in ages, but I like these little victories!

I usually save about half my wages. I've been trying to negotiate part-time work since 2012 and declined/managed out/laughed at every time since just as long. It annoys me a lot that I cannot adjust the numbers of hours I work to match the amount of consumption I'm happy living with. I'm not sure I would be happy living 100% on investments, but supplementing that with regular income from a part-time activity would be nice, whatever that may look like.

[Mousse]

I struggle with vision lately. All I can see when I imagine "if I had time freedom" is sleeping for six months. And then I hope the rest would get clearer again. I used to have lots of ideas and wants and projects, and to work toward something, like a career break to learn a language and travel, or try something new, but right now it's harder to feel like I'm working toward something.

Recently, I experienced something that I refer to as "The Perfect Day" in my mind, even though it's not really that but it left me feeling incredibly satisfied at the end of the day. I like to turn its different components in my mind to see how I could create a life with more of all this. As usual, I woke up early to write (creativity, check!). Later, my lodger had a problem with her e-moped and ended up having to take the bus and be really late for work. I sat beside the e-moped and stared at it for a while until I figured out the problem (not something mechanically complicated, just something wedged where it shouldn't be). The hard part was figuring out how to remove it with my noodle arms since I didn't want to pour WD40 all over the the battery and electric parts. She was grateful to tears when she came back home and it was working again, without her having to drag it to a shop. Solving problems, check, helping people, check. Then I rode my own regular bike (activity, check!) to the library to pick up a new book, which is always a treat, and free.

And all of this combined left me with a really good and positive feeling by the end of the day. Only hiccup are the 8 hours I spent in a zombie fugue state in work in the middle, I guess. While I'm saving more, I'm somewhat making my peace with it but this doesn't feel sustainable in its current form.

We'll see though. When I imagine working for myself, it tends to be something I can do on my own terms and my own schedule, but I wonder how to get "helping people" into my life regularly once I have more time freedom. I could volunteer of course but then that just becomes a new job in itself and defeats the purpose... I wonder if I could teach workshops occasionally. I have a teaching cert and I love doing it though I 100% wouldn't like doing it every day, nor have the energy for that. A couple/few times a month though... that could be cool. Need to figure out what I know that people would be interested in enough to pay for!

Some frugality notes from the last week, which saved me money, made me happy, and apparently make me weird: I prepared a sandwich rather than buy food at the airport. €2.10, probably on the higher end because I got fancy fillings I never usually get, though I still have half left for another meal. Maybe I'll use it on a long ride, or eat it with pasta or rice at home. I also cycled to the airport. Parking: free. It probably only saves me €2 each way (bus fare) but the independence is really nice. I know I'll be home within 20 minutes once I'm out of the terminal, without rushing to the bus stop or having to walk one hour with a bag. I wasn't sure what people do with their helmets but when I went to scout the parking areas, it seems like everyone just locks it to the bike and no one messes with it, same with the high vis equipment. I took the crappy helmet this time but I think I'll take the nice one next time, which has lights. I really like just heading to the bicycle parking after landing. Definitely going to continue doing that during spring/summer, since even if my mortal enemy The Headwind shows up the trip is short and safe enough to keep it bearable. And it's nice to stretch after being stuck in a plane. I'm not sure what to do in winter though. My winter jacket is heavy and will likely be inconvenient for cycling, and I imagine I'll be sweating buckets in that. I guess I have a few months to understand what kind of jacket would be versatile enough to work nicely both in the colder day-to-day and jumping on a bike.

[Mousse]

I didn't know about freedom-to and freedom-from when I was younger, of course, but I had a very clear understanding that if I was running away from a bad situation, I should also be running toward something. It made for interesting learning but also it was a lot easier to explain my decisions without getting questioned. "(I'm quitting because) I want to gain some experience working abroad." "(I'm quitting because) I want to travel and learn a new language."

I ended up taking a few days off for a breather. I used the time to go visit my grandmother in the middle of nowhere. She cut my hair and I wanted her to teach me how to fix up a jacket but it turned into an ordeal I couldn't learn from because of the make and thickness of the fabric. She did eventually succeed so I get to keep this cycling-friendly summer jacket for a while longer When I came back, I spent some time observing the fence and figuring out a system for locking it safely when leaving from the back, which we do all the time with the bikes (before, after taking a bike out you had to go all around then walk through the house again to lock the fence. No more!). The result is really ugly and I probably should redo it with shorter screws but it works. I also did a lot of catching up on my library books, cycling errands, writing, and also kinda shifted back into what tends to be my natural rhythm when left on my own, still waking up early but eating breakfast later in the morning and then a single big "meal and a half" mid-afternoon.

I wouldn't mind more of that. "(I'm quitting because) I want to chill for a while" doesn't really redirect the conversation toward topics I really want to discuss while I don't have the finances to make it permanent though, but maybe there's a starting point in there somewhere.

In June I got annoyed by my outgoings and decided to see if I could try to limit my monthly expenses to €1000. It didn't work that month, but I managed it in July. Of course when I decided on this, I immediately thought of 3 upcoming lumpy expenses that would throw this off, but I'll deal with that later. Groceries ended up at €90, maybe half my usual. I suspect this is mostly due to cleaning out my cupboards/freezer and it'll end up evening itself out next month. It'd be nice to stick to <€100! But I think at the moment, my meals on average cost €1-€1.50 (sometimes less like the not-pizza, sometimes more), so the math doesn't work out over a month, and I include toiletries etc in the groceries budget. I'll keep an eye on it though.

Anyway! I know this is focusing on the smaller things, but at the same time these things are under my control.

Stuff I learnt:

I knew the learning for the fence would be around the jigsaw, which I'd never used before. I ended up learning other small things like, some screws are made for wood and it's so much easier when actually using them. I had to reinforce a panel with those before I cut off a slat. Then I drilled a hinge into it to make a little door, and added a latch on the other side that we can reach from the outside as well. We can use that to lock the fence even from the outside now. I'll definitely want to get better at starting with the jigsaw though, like once it's going that's fine but between my poor technique and the poor quality of the thin wood, splinters were flying everywhere during the initial cut and a piece of the wood broke (that accidental opening turned out into a great space to fit the latch, though!). Also the screws that came with the hinge were too long so I couldn't drill them in fully because children are always running and playing on the other side and I wouldn't want anyone to get hurt bumping against those. I'll probably try to buy shorter ones as replacement soon, but for now the little fence door does the job it needs to do.

I also tried to shorten my hair myself but I think I really need a second mirror, the back is really hard to do Mirrors on secondhand websites seem to be huuuge but I set up an alert, maybe a handheld one will pop up or a friend might have a spare one. Making that first cut, even imperfect, feels like a good first step at least.

[delay]

Of course when I decided on this, I immediately thought of 3 upcoming lumpy expenses that would throw this off, but I'll deal with that later.

Thanks for your journal update! To be honest with yourself, spread lumpy expenses over time. For example, if you own a car, and you don't set aside money to replace and to repair it every month, you're fooling yourself. You will be "surprised" by an expensive car repair, but how unexpected is that really? YNAB says this best in Rule 2: Embrace Your True Expenses. When you see the true cost of something you make better decisions.

I also tried to shorten my hair myself but I think I really need a second mirror, the back is really hard to do

With my hair clipper it feels fairly easy. I feel the hairline with my fingers and clip above and shave below.

I had an interesting lesson when I messed up my clipper and had a bald stroke on the side of my head. It turns out few people look at your hair in any detail. This is true in general, people care less about appearances than I thought.

[Mousse]

Thank you for the thoughts and perspective! A fellow YNAB person? YNAB was invaluable while I was paying down debt, and I understand better my costs in general, especially spread out over a year. I cancelled my subscription after paying the debt off and the various price increases, it just wasn't as useful to me anymore since I could cover easily any overspend. With the 1k/month limit, I'm mostly hoping to learn how to be careful again and remember how low the bar for my regular expenses could be, with a little bit of attention.

I had an interesting lesson when I messed up my clipper and had a bald stroke on the side of my head. It turns out few people look at your hair in any detail. This is true in general, people care less about appearances than I thought.

Interesting! I just spent a few days with family members who've known me forever and usually delight in teasing me but no one commented. It's kinda freeing. I have other ideas on what technique to try next time but I need it to grow a little bit more first.

A long time ago, I was part of an internship where you got a chance to present some of the work you did to various hiring managers in order to secure a contract or offer after the internship. We all wore our nice interview suits, but one of the hiring managers mentioned with disapproval that I didn't have the right shoes to go with it (I thought black was enough, especially considering we were cash-strapped students). I barely notice when someone changes their haircut unless they change the colour too. Since then, I've been wondering how much the average person notices. I suspect I lean a bit too much toward "not paying much attention at all" but I'm not sure if the average person's experience is closer to that hiring manager's perspective or somewhere in the middle.

I suppose it doesn't matter much unless you need the money and you're talking to someone your employment status depends on...

[TrailMix]

I usually save about half my wages. I've been trying to negotiate part-time work since 2012 and declined/managed out/laughed at every time since just as long. It annoys me a lot that I cannot adjust the numbers of hours I work to match the amount of consumption I'm happy living with. I'm not sure I would be happy living 100% on investments, but supplementing that with regular income from a part-time activity would be nice, whatever that may look like.

I would recommend So Good They Can't Ignore You by Cal Newport. His idea that the "follow your passion" advice we are all given is wrong, and that instead we should focus instead on being really good at our jobs, stop focusing too much on promotions, and work on little projects that could have a big impact. Only when we are really good at our jobs can we have work that is creative, impactful, and under our control. But if you don't have the career capital, you can't demand creativity, impact, or control in your work, which is why many who follow their passion fall into the hole of unfulfilling work. I think his book might help you develop career capital that would then give you the leverage to demand control over your work.

[Mousse]

I would recommend So Good They Can't Ignore You by Cal Newport. His idea that the "follow your passion" advice we are all given is wrong, and that instead we should focus instead on being really good at our jobs, stop focusing too much on promotions, and work on little projects that could have a big impact. Only when we are really good at our jobs can we have work that is creative, impactful, and under our control. But if you don't have the career capital, you can't demand creativity, impact, or control in your work, which is why many who follow their passion fall into the hole of unfulfilling work. I think his book might help you develop career capital that would then give you the leverage to demand control over your work.

Interesting, thank you for the rec! I had seen the title before but assumed it was a "kill yourself in work so you can demand crumbs" or "become the 'best'" which would require a massive time commitment to a single specialisation when there are so many other things I'd rather learn outside of work hours. I'm very intrigued that you mention not focusing on promotions is part of the concept, that sounds like a very different approach than what I imagined. I'll put a library hold on it!

[jacob]

"become the 'best'" which would require a massive time commitment to a single specialisation

That's pretty much the suggestion. This strategy is easier in some fields than others. For example, in some trades, you can "become the best" simply by reliably showing up on time. Other professions require no less than total dedication to the exclusion of other interests, family, and sleep. IIRC, Newport uses the example of understanding a couple of technical papers that apparently nobody else in his field (computer science) bothered to read---so somewhere in between.

[AxelHeyst]

It's a common misconception! Cal Newport is in reality a staunch opponent of hustle culture, and promotes slowing down, living intentionally, getting in touch with what you authentically want as a human being, etc. On his podcast people often ask him "how can I crush it at work harder?" and 9/10 his response is "Don't. You are doing enough at work right now, calm down. Consider doing less at work. Spend time with your family. Here are some tips."

One of his major themes is that massive life-obliterating time commitments is a sign of a terrible, unsustainable approach, and that it's possible to do very well with a well designed efficient system that you follow consistently. He's a fan of hard work. He is a critic of masochistic overwork and unbalanced lifestyles.

His work is extremely relevant to the project of constructing an ERE-informed lifestyle imo, although it requires a light reframing and translation here and there.

I'm enjoying your journal by the way, following with interest even if I'm not commenting.

[Stahlmann]

...you can "become the best" simply by reliably showing up on time...

As a recovering NEET, I doubt this statement...

[AxelHeyst]

Places exist where if you show up on time and sober, can pass a drug test, are ambulatory, don't have an attitude problem, and aren't a moron (but I repeat myself), you will inevitably become the best. It's possible you didn't find places like this but I can assure you they exist.

[Stahlmann]

Places exist where if you show up on time and sober, can pass a drug test, are ambulatory, don't have an attitude problem, and aren't a moron (but I repeat myself), you will inevitably become the best. It's possible you didn't find places like this but I can assure you they exist.

Thanks for elaborated answer, but I still kindly ask for more specific direction.

[Mousse]

Thanks for the insights everyone! I've got about 10 books checked out from the library and another 10 in various stages of "on the way" but I'm looking forward to this one making its way over to me in a few weeks.

When I was first reading the ERE book Web of Goals chapter, I realised I still had some hang-ups around potentially linking hobbies to the money box because of bad experiences with the "hustle culture"/"monetise everything you love" mantra (accidentally killed a hobby with it before) so maybe that'll give me more material for working on and around that, too.

I always read the blog before visiting the forum and really enjoyed the pancake recipe from a few days ago, so straightforward and easy to remember! Maybe 4 ingredients is my brain's recall limit. I always admired friends who could go "I don't want to cook, let's make some pancakes" because my usual recipe has a large number of ingredients and steps and I'd always have to fetch it first. This one I've already made a few times just because It's tasty. I found it interesting that most of the suggestions in the comments seemed to be about making it more complicated.

[Mousse]

I'm running all sorts of numbers lately. It seems like maybe if I save another 3-4 years, I could actually step back? And wait until I can access my private pension at 55, which may have grown enough by then to sustain small withdrawals around the kind of target yearly expenses I'm aspiring to? It would be tight, but it could be possible.

As always, it was interesting to read the "Breaking up with your career" post just around the time I realised this. Adding the link here to my journal scrapbook for later reference...

All these assumptions rely on a lot of numbers, expenses, investments, savings etc evolving the way I expect, so for now I have my spreadsheets and I'm just going to match actual vs expected for the next while to see how things match up, or if I missed something important (not unlikely). I'm not sure if I'll be able to hang on 3 more years in my current job. The thing is, if I still didn't know about the possibility of early retirement, I probably would have quit because I have the savings for it, both for taking a break and for a potentially rocky time finding another gig after. I don't know. I keep thinking about my goth teenage self declaring "I want to live before I die!" and wondering what I'm doing with my time. I'm not going anywhere until I've reduced my expenses anyway. I created a "last 12 months" report for expenses and I can see that I'm not at all where I want to be...

...but l'd be a lot closer by next summer, if the last couple of months become a pattern.

Reconsidering expenses has been interesting. I think I've been trying to put back on the skin I had in 2019 but I've changed, and the places and people I loved visiting have changed too, and it's a bit sad because the break feels more abrupt than if we'd drifted away naturally. Lots to think about.

I'm trying to make a DIY sports drink. I always have strange not-water drinking cravings after big cycles or eating certain foods. I use fruit juice to get around it, but I figure my body wants some kind of sports drink? I never liked those though, too sweet or too weird. I found a couple of recipes that looked easy. The easiest one is basically water + sugar + salt. So far I can safely say that I've reproduced the "weird" part of the taste. It's not disgusting but it's not enjoyable. I haven't tested it after effort yet and it's only a half litre so I'll finish it during the week and see if it satisfies the craving. If not, there's another version with fruit juice + water + salt that might result in a more pleasant taste I'll likely try instead.

[Mousse]

Update: I hadn't let the "sports" drink settle enough, only shaken it. It works a lot better today now that everything's settled and melted together. I can't say that it's a boring taste exactly. It's more like the essence of boring itself. If "Boring" as a concept had a taste, this would be it. I'm fascinated. Cannot get enough. Also it works great during/after cycling as I hoped.

I filled my water bottle with water, added 4 tablespoons of sugar (tried with 2 at first but didn't feel great) and maybe half a teaspoon of salt, or a bit less?

The little fence door I made is working out great, too! Really nice and convenient, especially now that the winter storms are starting and you really want the fence to be closed properly. I finally showed the picture of my ugly handiwork to my dad and he confirmed it's mostly the fault of the crappy wood Too kind. Then he gave me a bunch of shorter screws so I could replace the too-long ones as I wanted. It looks nicer now! And I don't have to buy a full bag of screws when I only needed 4.

[NewBlood]

Hi!

Here's the official recipe for the rehydratation drink:
viewtopic.php?p=278125#p278125

The next few posts are useful as well, especially this:
viewtopic.php?p=278199#p278199

and this:
viewtopic.php?p=279422#p279422

[Mousse]

Oooh!! Thank you so much!

We don't really keep lemon at home, but there is a little bottle of citrus-something for cooking. I'll continue the experiment

[NewBlood]

Good luck!

[Mousse]

Various thoughts about expenses:

My expenses for the last 12 months add up to €20,000. I want to get them down to €13,000. I used to hover around €15,000. I think I can achieve the goal, and would like to prove to myself that I can do it and that it is reasonable. I can adjust up or down afterwards depending on what I learn. If I fail, there'll be something to learn there, too.

Paper journaling continues, and I continue to find it incredibly helpful. I was dismayed to find I've run out of fancy notebooks. Stationery used to be the go-to gift for me before we thankfully stopped gift exchanges. I don't really want to buy a new one though... Instead, I found a solid branded notebook with a plastic cover. I cut down a print my grandmother gave me a few years ago and taped it inside the cover to hide the company logo and now have a nice personalised notebook. If no new fancy notebook materialises when I'm also done with this one, I'll continue that kind of customisation using postcards or other finds. It's cheap. It's fun. I like it.

The shower curtain is no longer waterproof, and causing mild flooding every time someone showers. I'm looking at DIY fixes and waterproofing sprays and doubting whether it's worth attempting. I don't have a room large enough to spread the curtain and the weather has been dreadful. I suppose I could let it hang in the bathroom while spraying it...? I need to think about this more. And use this as an opportunity to encourage shorter showers in order to minimise the flooding, I suppose.

An online service I've been using every day for the last 4 years is: 1. increasing their prices 2. newly offering a "pay once" lifetime subscription. I hate subscriptions and I'm dying to pay the once-off price at renewal time in a couple of months. It costs ~5 years of the new subscription price. What worries me is that they didn't put any time limit or number restriction on it. If your business relies on subscriptions for revenue, slowly transforming your most dedicated users into non-paying customers strikes me as unwise and unsustainable. Are they still going to be around in 5 years with this kind of business decisions? Having said that, right now I'm still leaning toward buying it anyway for the relief of removing a recurring expense.

[ertyu]

What is your approach to paper journaling?