To the OP's question:
slsdly wrote: ↑Sat Dec 26, 2020 4:42 pm
Have you struggled with adjusting your expectations? Why do you think that is? Or, are you like me, and feel 2020 wasn't that bad, and maybe share the process that brought you there?
I'd say 2020 has been an apocalyptic year for me, in the original Greek sense of apocalyptic as revelatory--unveiling things not previously known to me and which could not be known apart from the unveiling. Many of my assumptions of the world have been shattered or at least brought into doubt, and I've begun the work of putting the pieces back together a bit by discarding (happily, turns out) all the meaningless rubbish I previously thought was important, and focusing on the things I've discovered (or re-discovered) really should be at the center of my own Rose Window: God, family, friends, community.
Like no other year before, 2020 provided me with both the opportunity and the justification for really properly ordering my life around that center, such that I've been able to largely detach from those things that are at the outer edge of my Rose Window--i.e., the Rota Fortunae.
Oh, Fortuna, blind, heedless goddess, I am strapped to your wheel,' Ignatius belched, 'Do not crush me beneath your spokes. Raise me on high, divinity. - John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces
I'm indebted to ERE and Jacob (and others) for helping my family build up the resiliency that's resulted in us not being negatively impacted by COVID, really at all (thus far; knocking on wood). Granted, we are very fortunate that we've not lost anyone close to us. And we are also very fortunate that our kids have continued in-person education at their parochial school, as our neighbors with kids in the fancy public school system have been pushed to the edge (and beyond) trying to juggle full-time jobs with kids at home doing virtual "learning," as the world they thought they lived in falls apart.
BUT, here's the thing, thanks in part to ERE (and thanks more to our shared Catholic faith), I am fully confident that had DW and I been faced with the "problem" of having our kids' school shut down to in-person learning, we would have viewed it as yet a bigger opportunity to re-examine priorities, focusing on the "center" and discarding the rubbish. Indeed, as the 2019-20 school year ended, with the kids learning virtually and while it was still a bit of a ? as to whether the kids would return in-person in the fall when the 2020-21 school year began, we'd already organized a group of families from the parochial school who were going to share home-schooling education responsibilities--which, given the make-up of the parents, would have been an education more "Catholic" in nature than our kids' Catholic school currently provides. At a minimum, either DW or I would have quit our jobs or taken a sabbatical of some sort. And we'd be the better for it. And being relieved of the obligation to pay Catholic school tuition (where most of our money currently goes), it wouldn't have really even affected us financially.
So, yes, I will look back very fondly on 2020.
As this year's Christmas cards came in, with family after family making some sort of "thank God 2020 is over!" statement, DW and I frequently looked at each other questioningly, wondering: "was it really THAT BAD, in the grand scheme of things?". I mean, we didn't have bombs falling from the sky, or dust storms prompting mass migrations, or mass starvation, or internment camps, or mass looting of private homes; and although DW's hospital and others in the system have been full, at times, it's not been overwhelming (I can only speak locally).
Now, I tend to think all that is coming, and more, and quickly, as the real effects of climate change reach even the shores of western nations, and as the globalized economy collapses under the immense weight of its own over-complexity, and as the chasm between the uber, own your own space station-level wealthy and the rest of us grows even wider. So why on earth does anyone think 2021 and beyond is going to be any better; or that 2020 was just some sort of random fluke? I choose instead to focus on all that was great about 2020, like how clean the air has been, how few cars have been on the roads, the vegetable gardens, all the walks and hikes, all the home cooking and newly-learned DIY skills, the more frequent phone calls with extended family members, all the time spent with the family and friends we most cherish, and all the time NOT wasted on those family and "friends" who we've known for some time are really just a drag, and all the time NOT wasted on big trips (I hate going on trips; my wanderlust days are well behind me). I mean, my already strong relationships with DW, DD, and DS are even stronger now, thanks to hours of time spent playing baseball/soccer/football, playing chess and other board games, playing Texas hold 'em poker as DS makes it clear he's going to go through life putting it all on the line with no aversion to risk, family cooking and meals, all the Masses we've attended and participated in, the nightly prayers, all the DIY projects we've worked on together, all the hikes and walks, etc. What a great gift we've been given.
Also, unlike both 2018 and 2019, and despite a global pandemic, I managed to make it through 2020 without spending any time in an ICU, hooked up to a ventilator (knocking on wood for 2021!).
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