Early Retirement Extreme Forums

I think you would enjoy reading "A Pattern Language" if you haven't already. The rule-of-thumb for square footage of a home is very much like rule-of-thumb for $spent in lifestyle budget. The layout of rooms and quality of fixtures/features also very much matter within the total budget/footprint. I know we have covered this ground in the past, but theoretically 350 sq. ft. per human is pretty much happiness maximizing. Previously you were under-budget for footage and also absent other preferred qualities. Now you are maybe a bit over-budget for footage (pets need a bit of extra footprint and also those who work at home, or have very frequent guests, etc.) and also experiencing a better layout which provides the psychological benefit of "room of one's own" as well as other qualities of features/facilities/freedoms which better serve your preferences/psychological needs. So, little wonder that you find yourself happier with new home.

However, it's also entirely possible that the larger size of your new home is making you feel a bit more lonely than you would otherwise with your wife being gone 80+ hours/week, because the space in your home that is designated communal is only occupied by small cats. When I was a young teenager in the late 70s/early 80s, it was an era when many couples were suddenly feeling free to divorce, and inflation and housing values were increasingly rapidly. So, this resulted in frequently encountering in my babysitting rounds the sad circumstance of a divorced Dad living by himself in virtually empty 2000 sq.ft. plus family home with nothing left in the combined living room/dining room space, but a stereo and stack of albums (which always seemed to include ELO.)

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on homeownerships and transitions. When i read your post a few days ago, I actually thought you might benefit from A Pattern Language as well. I think it is out of print, but you can find a link to the PDF somewhere on the forum.

white belt wrote: ↑

Wed Jun 04, 2025 3:52 pm

In a way, home upgrades are just another form of consumption, even if many of them can be completed DIY at relatively low financial cost. I could easily make the argument that very few of the changes we have made to the house are FUNCTIONAL improvements. We could have kept the original kitchen which had working appliances, cabinetry, and countertop space. The layout was functionally irritating and aesthetically ugly, but not unusable. Instead, we [paid to] knock down a wall, cover up a door, get wraparound cabinets/countertops, new lighting, larger windows, and replace all the appliances. The feel of the space is dramatically improved, which is something that everyone experiences in the space (to include us each day)......

I do wonder at what point I am just using home improvement as replacement for other forms of consumption. I spent a few dollars and minutes to replace the light switch in my room with a rocker switch. Likely no one in the world other than DW and I will ever notice such a thing or give it a second thought (except perhaps when we sell the house). The old switch was functionally adequate but now is in a landfill. Nevertheless, I touch and look at the new switch every day and it feels better to me. Where do I draw the line at things that look/feel better only to me? Why not replace all of xyz in the house if it will look better or make me feel better? Am I now doomed to feel slightly dissatisfied in every space that I have to touch an old-style light switch?

I've never owned a home, but I think there is something to be said for good design and beautiful spaces. If you are doing the work yourself, those changes provide a reoccurring sense of accomplishment. A frugal lifestyle will likely lead to quite a bit of time at home. Having a space that you enjoy, a place where you can invite others, and one that fosters creativity is important IMO. I don't think ERE has to be synonymous with a spartan existence.

We have been in our current home for coming up on 12 years now and 100% the costs keep creeping up on you as there is no end. We have done plumbing repairs and upgrades as needed, then replaced the last old aluminum slider windows from the 70s with modern triple pane, we replaced our hot water heater, we replaced kitchen faucet (dang they are pricey), we had major arborist yard work completed, rebuilt the alley way fence and so many more small things like you mention. Our heat pump is well over 15 years old and we are bracing ourself for the costly replacement when the time comes. Then the biggest home cost is literally hanging over our heads, we have a rolled torch on shingle low slope roof that needs replacement and won't be cheap.

I know we will get this all back in the equity that has more than doubled since we bought it but still doesn't help with the cash that flows out when you own a home. I feel the same thoughts as you in your reflection above, love the home and the space but understand it costs far more than the price of the home to have this as our place to live.

2% of the property's value per annum is a rule of thumb for long term maintenance costs on a property. The amount will fluctuate over time, as white goods tend to break at the same as they are often installed at the same time.