akratic wrote:Tough love time...
...I apologize for the rant, but I've just watched so many people waste so much time at jobs they didn't like, in order to save themselves from the possibility of... get this... the *possibility* of spending time in the future at jobs they didn't like.
Don't apologize. These are very good points. And I love your certainty here. I don't disagree with any of your individual points.
It is true that I'm very used to working for just one company. My resume is severely outdated. I only interviewed with TWO companies when I was graduating university. I feel like I would stink at finding a new job. But - yes, I know that I could figure this stuff out pretty quickly, and getting a job shouldn't be any problem.
I also have no interest in learning about a new company, a new culture. No interest in meeting a whole bunch of different
work people** and learning all their names and acting like I care about what they're saying. I think a year in my job would be WAY easier than the first year in a new company. So the thought of getting another full time carreer type job in the future does feel pretty ugly to me. Is it stupid or irrational to choose the guaranteed annoyance of work instead of only the POSSIBILITY of this ugliness? Maybe it is. I know. But I'm probably going to be happy (enough) waiting out this last year anyways.
(** I compartmentalize relationships a lot)
Here are some thoughts on why I don't want to quit any sooner than a year from now. There's one main point first and then a few more concrete things down below:
- Probably the main reason is just that I like control, and power, and abundance. I like the feeling that I am in a position of strength. Having some extra money will help me feel that way. I think an additional year of work may be worth it
just for the purpose of helping me to have that feeling. I know that It's possible to get that same feeling from the knowledge that I
could get another job and make more money quickly. But, for me, that would feel more like thinking "Oh, I
could win if I did xyz", when I'd rather be thinking "I
am winning right now". In the first year or two after I quit, I might wish that I had quit a year earlier. But 50 years from now, I'm certain I won't look back and think "Oh, if I had just quit one year sooner, .... "
Side bike racing story:
I have a couple examples along this line of thought from when I was bicycle racing. Bike racing was, aside form ERE prep, the most recent thing that I really worked hard on outside of work. I raced three years. The first year I was just getting into the sport and learning how it worked, and working my way up to racing well in the entry category. The second year I set a goal to get at least top 3 in the biggest race of the season. I improved my training, my diet, my sleep, my racing tactics, my mental toughness. I joined a team and helped the other guys in some races ahead of mine so they'd be willing to help me. When the race came, I dominated. Completely dominated. It felt great.
There were two specific races that really stand out with a feeling of dominance:
- One was in my second year of racing, still in the entry level category. It was one of my very last races in this category and I was so much better than the people in my race that I would've been in contention to win races a category above mine. At one of the most popular/famous races in the whole region, I attacked straight from the starting gun. No one ever wins when they do this. It's just a stupid and ballsy thing to do. I got a good lead and was on my own for like 15-20 minutes of the hour long race (riding as hard as I could). I got caught and rode with the pack the rest of the race. Generally, if you attack like this, you're basically blowing your wad and you won't be able to compete after that. Well I recovered and sprinted very well. (Got 2nd, but I let off for a stupid reason and could've actually won). Being able to race like this is WAY more fun than suffering along. I could decide how the race unfolded. I could decide which way I wanted to try to win and would have a good chance of it working out, whatever the method was.
- Another was a year later. I had moved up to a harder category and joined a big team. Most of the season I was working for my team mates who cared more about winning and were slightly better sprinters than me. There was a race series where I did horribly. My mental focus was way off and I couldn't ride worth a shit. I struggled through all the races. Then the next race I did ended up being the ONLY race all year that I had no team mates. So I could do whatever I wanted. At this race, I attacked on my own and rode ahead of the field for the last 10-15 minutes. I got a huge lead and as I got within 4, 3, 2, 1 laps to go, the win was more and more absolutely certain. The last 2 laps I was 100% sure I had it won. This is the best way to win a bike race - out ahead by yourself - because you get the rush of winning for a very long time. (In a sprint win you only get that rush for a few seconds).
I won other races, but these are two of the most memorable. I loved feeling the way I did during these races -- being in control, having power, being confident about winning, etc.. I want to feel that way more.
Others:
- A huge chunk of my money is in my 401k and Pension. More than half. I'm planning to do the IRA Escape plan thing or whatever folks call it. If I understand/remember it correctly, there's a 5 year delay in getting spendable money. I want to make sure I have plenty enough post-tax money so this doesn't become a problem
- I want to get the van all set up and sell the house before I quit. This will probably take at least six months
- I get my yearly bonus from work in March. My pension increase might also happen at once in February/March. (our pension value information pages are archaic and confusing). That means in the first quarter of the year, I get paid way more money than normal months. If I get anywhere close to Q1, I'll want to work through it to make sure I get that "extra" money.
- I'm sure that at times in the future I'm going to want to buy really nice things - cameras, bicycles, plane tickets, an AWD van, a cabin in the mountains near the city where my immediate family live, a jetpack, etc.. I think I would rather work the extra time and have the ability to buy these things without worrying about whether I'm spending too much. I know that may be a bit irrational - because I could just work more later if my net worth starts to go down. But I still feel that way. If I quit right now, buying the nice things very well could decreases in my net worth. But instead of going ahead and doing it, and figuring out where to get the money from after, there's a good chance I would just not buy them and would be wishing that I was...... I know, I know.. But again, the abundance thing is important for me.
- My current role at work is the easiest my job has ever been (and of course I make more money than I ever did before). It also gets me to nice locations sometimes. I'm only working like 30-35 hours per week, and thus my effective hourly pay rate is pretty darn high. I don't feel burnt out. The main issue I have with work is that It's just in the way of me doing many of the these other things I want to do after I quit. I just have senioritis.
It does seem like this time in my life is pretty "slow". Like I don't have as much going on as I could. But a lot of why I feel this way is because I'm comparing right now to an imagined (ideal) retirement state. I'm still doing plenty and learning plenty and my life isn't any slower than it ever was before. And now that I've shortened my timeline from 2 years to 1, and made this plan of action, I'll spend much of the time doing what I (feel I) need/want to do before I quit. Maybe these things will take 6 months, and I'll have another 6 months waiting for more money. But that's not so bad. Also, I have a lot of vacation time at work. I can take 5 weeks off over the next year and still have max vacation balance when I quit. Or I could take up to ten weeks off.
(Sorry about this being so long)
