My boyfriend and I possess diametrically opposed views of what money is, means, and can allow us to do.
Money is time. Very real, priceless life time that we have to accomplish our goals, develop loving relationships, participate in our community (whatever that means to you). In some variant or another, most of us on this site would agree to that.
He makes 100k, has had a steady job for 8+ years, yet has $2K in the bank, and negative several hundred thousand in an underwater home. He could easily sell it and pay off the underwater part in two years max if he wanted. We could EASILY collectively save $400k in a few years, split a cheap house, rent out a room to keep it financially self-sufficient, or any other number of infinite choices regarding choosing our lives, instead of them choosing us.
He's actually told me that he knows what my goals are, but doesn't "agree with them". My only goal being FI, I'm literally unable to understand what he means. Who could not want to be financially independent? Incidentally, he hates his office job, rendering this even more unprocessable. Attempts at communal goals are talked about, but more or less tossed aside. Part of this is that he ended a relationship with his previous boyfriend, a manipulative, freeloading sort of guy, a year and a half ago, and doesn't seem to trust the idea of joining forces in any way, which is somewhat understandable...temporarily.
I've been exceedingly careful not to proselytize, but now our relationship has easily crossed the year point with no self-realization on his part. We're loafing. When I handed him YMoYL to read, he quickly went to his tablet to check prices of Quicken to track expenses, since he was tired of using Excel. I offered up Google Docs, but that wouldn't do.
While reading this, I know already what you're thinking. This guy is hopeless, what a materialistic loser, etc., etc. The issue is that he's loving, kind, caring, intelligent, extremely funny and fun to be around, very good at the few hobbies he has, and filled with so many other qualities not often found in one person, that I pre-despise the internet conventional wisdom to "just break up with him".
But, again, money is life energy, as they say in YMoYL. In his decision not to open his mind, I feel that literally years are taken away from me.
I could go on, but it's even more tiring consciously thinking about it...
Thanks for the indulgence. Free thoughts and advice accepted.
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