Finally managed to get Laid Off !!

[Freedom_2018]

Past few months were rather hectic and a tad stressful as I was trying to walk the fine line at work between getting fired (my job is 'at will')and making myself a target for a layoff.
Finally the perseverance has paid off and I am being let go in 4 months with a severance that equals 9 months of pay and will also get a bonus for this Fiscal (July-June yr) and part of next. Possibly also a consulting opportunity with the company for a bit.
My experiences/learning from this endeavor:
- It was harder than I thought. One has to overcome the initial psychological barriers since it sometimes felt like committing suicide (well career suicide anyways). Friends, family and well wishers were aghast/opposing/not believing I would really go through with this. Parents will only have even more perfunctory conversations now and brother has further distanced himself. My GF was the biggest support (it is very nice to come home to someone who accepts you for who you are and is supportive of major life change - she is on the same page w.r.t life goals so makes it much easier as I don't have to explain myself/convince her)
- There is a HUGE difference between knowing the path and walking the path. Even though I intellectually understand the ERE/FI principles..it is one thing to imagine/fantasize about being job free and another to go through the steps to get there. The math is straightforward but the psychology is unique. I didn't realize I had so many 'judgmental' voices in my head from all the years of working/socialization. Those were the hardest to deal with. Well at least I've taken step one
- Cutting expenses was easier than walking away from Income. Probably because I've never been a big spender, being frugal was never a sacrifice for me..to the contrary..I think cutting budgets is a great way to inspire innovation and creative solutions. In Indian culture we call it 'jugaad' (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ft-qiaB21Jk)
<BTW this guy has some interesting videos: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7QwxbImhZI >
Walking away from a good Income on the other hand felt very unnatural. But realizing that my job would keep me in a place where I would not be able to do the things I wanted to in a limited lifespan.
- People are curious/envious but no one asks how. My colleagues and some others in the office knew what I was up to and many of them told me that they would want the same freedom/choices for themselves and all the wonderful things they would like to do if they had more time/freedom..however no one really wanted to know how I had managed to do this. Some were curious if I had invested in some hot stock but when the talk turned to cost savings and non-monetary type solutions..I could see the interest level drop off. Some of these folks have 60K in student loans, 20K in credit card debt and think nothing of going and spending 35K on their upcoming wedding, hate their jobs and are willing to talk endlessly about their misery. But they won't change a thing to help themselves. I hope there has been some influence but I wouldn't put any money on it.
- Doing something is easier than endlessly agonizing over it.
More later...

[LiquidSapphire]

Wow, in many ways you have said what I've been feeling but unable to articulate. Thanks for posting and congrats!

[jennypenny]

Congrats Freedom! I'm glad your partner is so supportive. It's hard when friends and especially family doesn't understand.
So, are you going to get that van now?

[dragoncar]

Finally managed to get laid!!
Seriously though, congrats

[Felix]

"There is a HUGE difference between knowing the path and walking the path. Even though I intellectually understand the ERE/FI principles..it is one thing to imagine/fantasize about being job free and another to go through the steps to get there. The math is straightforward but the psychology is unique."
That's some gold right there! Congratulations on going through with it. Takes quite some balls to do it.
I'll end my job soon, too (next year). I do have the opportunity of getting a promotion instead, which will very much pimp my resume etc, but I just want to get out of there. If it weren't for my savings, I'd probably be stuck here - fuck you money deserves the name. Now I can take a year off and reconsider my options. But now the jitters are starting, my colleagues ask me why I would let go of such an opportunity, ... it's tough. And it does sound nice - in conventional terms.
All these options FI gives you basically force you to answer the question of what you really want to do with your life. You can't hide behind being in a trap of paying the bills and being busy all day anymore. You have to face all the socialization you went through and build some real resolve on how you want to live.
So thank you very much for your story on how you went through with this. It helped me a lot.

[Ego]

@Felix.... yes, yes, yes.>>>

But now the jitters are starting, my colleagues ask me why I would let go of such an opportunity.... All these options FI gives you basically force you to answer the question of what you really want to do with your life. You can't hide behind being in a trap of paying the bills and being busy all day anymore. You have to face all the socialization you went through and build some real resolve on how you want to live.
-------
Sudden freedom without a plan for how to cope with being free is a recipe for disaster. Those who view retirement as the finish line often find that they do not have what it takes to continue going after they cross it.
This is what I was getting at with the post about liberation.
viewtopic.php?t=2478
It goes with Jacob's idea of swinging from vine to vine. Retiring or gaining freedom without plan is like releasing one vine and hoping the next one will appear out of nowhere.

[Freedom_2018]

Hi all...thanks for the good wishes. I guess I am still letting it slowly sink in.
@jennypenny : Yes, a Ford Econoline or Chevy Express is still on the cards. Though I have to sequence that with some other things I want to do..such as tandem bicycle ride across the US, motorcycle rides across the US and maybe even from Alaska to the Tip of Argentina (though for that one I probably will have to wait to become a US Citizen since travel will be so much easier on a US Passport versus an Indian one). I did sell my road bike to a colleague last week so am currently bikeless..now to sell GF's bike and then we will try and find a used Tandem and do a lot of butt toughening before embarking on a major trip.
@ dragoncar: Funny! But very important for mental health too
It is funny how much easier it is to take office BS now. I can just sit through meetings and smile away...jeez I could possibly pass for the most satisfied/happy employee they've seen around here for a while...maybe should put my face on their brochure!
Getting laid off though was tricky. To the extent a job can be bulletproof - mine was..in my nearly 9 years here I've been through 7 re-orgs. I had to deliberately make it more vulnerable and less critical over the last year. Large part of it was aggressively promoting the profile of people working for me..so that they could be seen as a replacement..which doubtless made them very happy and so they think of me as a great Boss! (to be fair though, my team is made up of decent folk and they have been very easy to manage...two of them are actively interviewing externally and will probably leave in the near future as they are getting burnt out with the endless politics...of course I will be giving them great references
So why did I stick around so long?
It started out of necessity (not making excuses here..because I am ultimately responsible for my destiny..in hindsight it seems so clear what I should have done but then where is the fun in that!). When I joined my job, the company agreed that they would sponsor me for a Green Card. My immediate manager said they would and I took her at her word (Monday Morning Quarterbacking : should have got it in writing). Well 3 months later she was gone..and over the next 2 yrs I had a number of different bosses and HR contacts..result of all of this was my Immigration paperwork got misplaced, no one knew the filing status and no one was giving me a straight answer (Hindsight: should have left at this time). Some misplaced sense of loyalty to my senior VP (super intelligent guy..I think I was guilty of some hero worship here) kept me going..also domestic life was not going too great either and I felt like I was burning my candle at both ends. In hindsight its amazing how much a stressful domestic situation can bleed over into other areas like work and cloud one's thinking and judgement.
One fine day..due to some scheduling confusion by the VP's admin (bless her for making that mistake!) I was invited to a telephone conference call with the VP, my boss and the Immigration lawyers. They never realized I was on the call. I heard them telling our Immigration lawyers to delay filing my Green Card paperwork till I cam to the very end of my temporary Visa..even joked some about me being very 'valuable' and wanting to keep me around for the longest possible (basically it is tricky changing employers after Green Card filing and they then have you by the short-hairs). If I could have cracked someone's jaw through the telephone, I swear that day I would have. I was beyond furious realizing that all this while I was being used like a tool while the smart VP I looked up to (I really did..believe me..it takes a lot for me to be intellectually impressed) was lying to my face meanwhile directly working to delay my paper work behind the scenes. This pretty much left me with no option but to be stuck to my employer. How very clever they were!
From that point on I just wanted to get even and never be at the mercy of someone else.
So while it was not ERE that made me start on this path, it was wonderful to discover this site and a few others that articulated a path out of the maze that reaffirmed my conviction to never again be anyone's bitch (not a sexist remark...just how I felt).
Some of the other things I did to get back/make myself a target:
- Come in to work at almost 10.am. on my motorcycle and take the longest path through the office to my cube so that everyone could see I was late.
- Leave early, sometimes at 5p.m...sometimes earlier.
- Be very helpful to folks who needed any work/analysis done (after all I am a professional:-)..but totally blow off any stupid HR type meetings and 'team-events'.
- Praise the work of other people a lot.
- Protect team members from incessant demands from asshole boss..and he knew I was doing it.
- Always wearing jeans and t-shirt Monday to Friday.
- Put a picture of a plump cat in a too small wicker basket that was bursting at the seams in my cube..when boss (who is rather plump himself from gorging on all the company paid lunches and dinners he puts on his expense card) walked by and mentioned he didn't like the picture...I looked at him with a straight face and said that it was my cat and I liked 'fat cats'. The look he gave me was murder.
Ok..so I can be an asshole sometimes..hey after all I learnt from the best!
<I must say though that I have no bias against people/animals based on body size etc..but you know how sometimes when you don't like someone everything about them becomes irritating..above was such a instance>
Anyways, thanks for letting me rant. I had fun writing it and even though the events at the time they occurred were not fun to go through...I think I have very little remaining rancor. Overall though I have to laugh because I think I got to be one lucky SOB in the key areas that mattered:
- Friends: Have 20+ yr friendships that have endured and grown richer
- GF : Wonderful woman with a beautiful heart.
- ex Wife: Did not take a single cent from me...even though the difference in our assets was more than 10x
- Job : I think we are even now
Thanks for reading..I have to go stretch my legs a bit...and listen to some Tracy Chapman

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVKLmpALMFc
Cheers,

M

[dot_com_vet]

LOL @ the Fat Cat picture! Very clever!

[Fred Tracy]

This is great.. it sounds like Office Space or something. Score!

[M]

@Freedom
+1 For coming in at 10 AM on a motorcycle and leaving early. There's a manager where I work who does that fairly often. It's funny how many people complain about him doing that, yet in secret tell me they wish they could do that also and get away with it.

[Catanduva]

Like a boss!

[rikimaru_gaisen]

You're my hero! The plump cat anecdote is hilarious! I love your "make myself a target" list. I've been calling out here and there once in awhile (mostly Fridays), but I guess I'll have to step it up a notch!

[palmera]

this needs to turn into a screenplay. office space for the new millennium. message me if you'd be okay with my passing this on to my screenwriter friend.

[Chad]

Congrats Freedom. Spectacular story. Did you confront your boss during or after that phone call about the Green Card? Fucking jackass. Playing with someone's life like that.

[Fred Tracy]

Yeah I'm curious about that too. Did you confront him? What did you say?

[Freedom_2018]

@palmera: Sure go ahead. I can provide more details separately if needed. Just have to make sure no actual names of company/product/actual people...can't disparage any of those...agreement is a part of my severance package. Some kind of hybrid between Office Space/The Beach (with Leonardo di Caprio) and Fight Club...except instead of hacking computers or resorting to violence the protagonist applies ERE type principles to beat the evil corporation and the pointy haired boss. Target audience would be well..95% of wage slaves..so quite a market. Maybe this could even be a conduit for spreading ERE philosophy and values through a fun production..maybe it just might spark a few young folks to actually try it out. One ending for the movie could be the protagonist and some other folks who've followed the same path all go and live on the beach (as in the movie The Beach) ..except they all go on to establish and live in ERE city.
No, I did not confront my boss about the Green Card backstabbing though I was very tempted to. I just quietly listened to the rest of the call on 'mute'. What would I have gained by calling him out on that? I might have temporarily felt better by calling him out as a cheap liar but would have made a mortal enemy ....he probably would have figured out a way to get me fired just so that he wouldn't have to look me in the eye. Making someone lose face is a very high risk gamble..especially when they are your boss! You only want to do it when they can do nothing to you and you really really want Vendetta.
Later on though, I did make some passive-aggressive type comments to him on the lines of..."really appreciate your help on shepherding my Green Card process through with our lawyers..let me know if there is any documentation etc you might need from me to speed up the process"..while staring deep into those beady eyes to see if they would even flinch a bit. No luck.

[Fred Tracy]

A cold and calculated approach. I don't know if I would have the patience for that or not, but it seems like you made the right decision. You could have called him out on it the day you got laid off though, as that wouldn't hurt you too much right?
What he did is just so evil, lol.

[dragoncar]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vbI-P6mFbg

[Freedom_2018]

@FredT: Yes, could have but at this point I am less interested in telling people off and more in getting out of there with no hiccups, taking my team out to company lunches and giving them good reviews (they are decent folk and deserve that) as well as using the 4 months I have to get as much personal work done as well as make full use of my health benefits etc.
@dragoncar: Funny..+1 for the Simpsons...I should have watched more. BTW here is one paragraph verbatim (except for names of course) from my mid-year performance review from 6 mths ago:
"Freedom's performance continues to be up and down. There are days when he is a strong contributor to the team and there are an equal number of days when his engagement level is low and and the outputs are below expectations. I have informed Freedom that I have received similar feedback from senior leaders in the business. It is imperative we see sustained consistent performance in the second half of the fiscal".
I guess in the second half of the fiscal year my low days > up days..hmm..wonder how that happened

[Chad]

I didn't mean a yelling match with him. Just curious how you handled it. The guy actually deserves a beat down. Obviously, that would be more trouble in the end than it's worth, but what an ass.