3 yrs to FI: ertyu's journal

[sky]

I would be quite happy to own a flat in a small town in Eastern Europe at the moment.

[bookworm]

Sorry to hear about the work situation ertyu, and I hope you can get the best resolution possible on your way out.

The no-buy period seems like a wise move, I'm attempting one myself while off the job.

[2Birds1Stone]

Agree with guitarplayer......you could reno the flat (or have someone do it) and still have a shit ton of money. Also, the choice not to invest the cash over the years is one that keeps biting you in the ass.......and "do nothing" is a conscious choice to lose value to inflation.

Hope that your next chapter is one that allows you to break through the glass ceiling you've constructed for yourself.

The current job situation is temporary and a blip in the grand scheme of things, you're rich, relatively young and have a LOT of freedom right now.....run with it.

[Frita]

Bummer? Congratulations? I am sorry about the sudden shift in events. Being blindsided and rejected can sting. It sounds like you have learned more about your organization’s shady inner workings and are gathering information to make your next best move. How can you use past experience and gained wisdom to guide the current version of ertyu?

[ertyu]

Bummer? Congratulations?

Yeah, I don't seem to have decided either.

Me: Terrifying. Scary. Absolutely frightening. Better do a no-buy
Also me: You know what, as a matter of fact, I believe I am having cake about this. Yes from the Japanese bakery



Retirement cake maybe, I don't know

On a more serious note, thank you for the well-wishes and commiserations, everyone. And for the callouts: @gp, @2B1S, you're both precisely on point.

[guitarplayer]

And for the callouts: @gp, @2B1S, you're both precisely on point.

This is a distraction rather than anything: recently every time someone uses 'precisely' I immediately think they have been on a Ken Wilber binge.

Wilber abused this word so much in sex ecology and spirituality, similar to how people use 'literally'.

[Mousse]

Complicated feelings and sorry that the work ending is happening so unpleasantly. Splendid cake though, great choice!

[Scordatura]

Good luck.

You've got the skills to get through this.

I did actually send you my defense recommendations.

[bostonimproper]

Sorry to hear about the job. Fingers crossed the universe has something better for you waiting on the other side of this tumult!

[Violets]

So sorry to hear about your job, that sounds really stressful. I think the cake looks like a great decision tho'...=)

[Frita]

Yeah, I don't seem to have decided either.

Me: Terrifying. Scary. Absolutely frightening. Better do a no-buy
Also me: You know what, as a matter of fact, I believe I am having cake about this. Yes from the Japanese bakery

Complex situations come with a variety of emotions, often opposing, all simultaneously valid. BTW The cake link was broken, but I am curious what it looks like (I am imaging a cotton candy/cloud cheesecake with fresh berries.).

[Scott 2]

You've got a solid runway. I'm very interested in what happens next. FWIW - I'd try to terminate the prior employer relationship as quickly and cleanly as possible. Stretching out a legal disagreement will be much harder on you than them.

The cake looks fantastic. I don't think it'd last 24 hours in my house. Maybe not even the night.

[ertyu]

You've got a solid runway. I'm very interested in what happens next. FWIW - I'd try to terminate the prior employer relationship as quickly and cleanly as possible. Stretching out a legal disagreement will be much harder on you than them.

The lawyer is willing to work with me in exchange for a % of the severance payment so I am pretty confident things are in my favor, but I also see the reason in your advice. I have not yet been asked to sign anything - the threats that were made were verbal. I am divided on what to do. None of the reasons for termination that were suggested hold water, and I am not an at-will employee.

I have two choices:

1. Resign and forgo severance. As you say, cleaner. Right now, there is no "we are terminating you due to bad performance" paperwork. There is no documentation of bad performance either. The documentation going forward also looks cleaner from the POV of prospective employers.

Advantage: This will be the better choice if I am interested in future employment. Disadvantage: lose 2 months salary.

2. Pursue this and state that I do not wish to resign, state that I was first informed about this last thursday and did not see it coming, if you think I was "checked out" please see the student feedback from the last two semesters and feel free to speak with any of my current students about what is actually happening in class. This would involve going over the head of the HR guy who has it out for me*

* I'm aware saying someone has it out for you is a classical "loser" move so I don't know what to say to prove to the community that this is personal. However, there was interpersonal conflict between the two of us earlier, and he is a sociopathically vindictive type: very much about exercising power and winning over an opponent with underhanded means. Very, very charismatic and good at office politics. The sort of person that everyone know as such a nice, personable, reasonable guy that you are the one that sounds insane if you say that he is deliberately leading an interpersonal vendetta because he enjoys "the game" and would not let anyone else "win." Anyone who's dealt with this type of person knows what I mean, and anyone who hasn't thinks that perhaps I am the loser that's blaming others for his professional failure -- that it -must- be me who's actually the unreasonable one.

--aaaanyway. This would involve going over his head and trying to prove unfair dismissal to the authorities, for which my lawyer tells me I have a case, but which, as you say @Scott2, is not as clean.

Btw, thank you for your frank advice, @Scott2. If I resign, the lawyer gets no payment, so unsurprisingly, she was not the one to tell me, yeah dude, just quit. From talking to people, I was told disputes like this usually go in the expat employee's favor but most people do not follow them through.

[Scott 2]

FWIW, my input makes no assumption about cause. It's purely based on - what's the stress worth? A luxury of wealth is walking away from winnable battles.

[ertyu]

Alright, I have resigned. End of an era, and so forth. I did contact my old employer just to give the one more year jitters a chance, but in all honesty, given how burned out I was at the end of my time with them, I don't think it will come to anything. The guy that had a front-row seat to the burn-out will be recommending me, and while he might've been willing to recommend me to an external company and make me someone else's problem, I don't know that he would recommend me to a different branch of the same company -- unless he really doesn't like the manager there, I suppose I don't expect good recommendations to be forthcoming from my current position either.

I am interviewing with them this afternoon. If they give me a job, I'll take it: there's 278k at interactive brokers, would be nice to make it 300. If that doesn't pan out, I'll see.

One thing that made an impression in the answers above is that people seem to regard me as having wealth and being in a good position, which is very much unilike how I feel. I feel like my ability to earn future income is precarious, like the money can be gone or lost any moment, like my apartment is only as good as the tentative peace still holding in the EU. The effects of growing up under the transition to market economy, on the one hand, and hitting conscious adulthood in 2008 on the other, I assume. Time to dig into why I can't see my situation the way @Scott2 and @gp for instance appear to, and to think about the precise nature of the glass ceiling 2B1S pointed out.

[Violets]

Goddamnit, was drunk.

[Scott 2]

people seem to regard me as having wealth and being in a good position, which is very much unilike how I feel

Congrats on moving forward.

I anchor on a couple things:

1. Rich, broke dead calculator - how long till the money runs out, if there's no work?

2. What's my net worth percentile for my age, in my country? The world?


What really opened my eyes, is connecting with others who haven't had my fortune.

3. Volunteering at the food pantry once a week for around a year. Meeting individuals under the "migrant" umbrella in US news.

4. Attending a few autism meetups. Learning how intersectionality between neurodivergence and other condtions can express.


It's always been easy for me to lose sight, but those latter experiences caused a permanent shift in perspective. If we're all competing for the same pool of resources, and I'm in a better position than XX% of everyone else, it's probably going to be ok. If not? There's probably nothing I could have done.

[delay]

Thanks for sharing your journey!

Alright, I have resigned.

Interesting, so they asked you to resign, and you resigned?

Living in The Netherlands, I was told last year they wanted to let me go, but it looks like it takes around half a year, and if they fire me I get some severance. Actual firing means being put "inactive" and being offered a settlement agreement. Lawyers and judges get involved only if I refuse a settlement.

One thing that made an impression in the answers above is that people seem to regard me as having wealth and being in a good position, which is very much unilike how I feel.

It all depends on who you compare yourself with. You are in a great spot compared to infinite people, and in a bad spot compared to infinite people as well. When I was told I was no longer wanted, I compared myself with people who got bad health news, and suddenly I didn't feel too bad.

[ertyu]

Interesting, so they asked you to resign, and you resigned?

Long story short: the severance payment would have been about 5-6k usd and the lawyer would have taken a cut. The company would have created trouble when it comes to transferring my paperwork to my new employer. I left 3-4k on the table.

[brainstorm]

Is there anything you'd like to take advantage of while you're still in your current city/country?