Veronica's Journal of Madness

[ertyu]

fatty liver is definitely "clean up your act" time.

[Veronica]

Entry 18: Scenic Environs: A glistening lake under a golden sky

Current Goals (progress):
100k in Net Worth (2k/100) +0
Bodyweight Target: 118 (183) -10
Target Savings Rate: 78% (Debt paydown phase; ~15%)
Target Resting Heart Rate: 40bpm (74bpm) +6

--Money--
Big, positive changes with an upfront cost.
Credit Use continues to decrease. Now I have quite a bit of credit available if I ever need it.
Certainly not planning to, but having about 10k in the bank and 15k of available credit gives me a lot emergency rope.

I've also started my LLC and started funding it. It's intended to be a a poor man's D.E. Shaw. A scientific research/technology incubator, funded by its own internal investment arm. I'm excited at the potential prospects.

--Job--
Nothing particularly interesting to note here.
I have noticed that I feel a need to chip in when my input isn't really required. Trying to fight that urge a bit.

--Education--
If you haven't heard of library genesis, I just thought id put it out there. Ethically gray, but if you're a reader like me, you can find an endless supply of material on here. Even high end books as pdfs. And all for free. Very frugal if you're not worried about the piracy ethics of it

-- Weight and Routine Comments --
Had surgery for kidney stones, and have now fully recovered.
Lost 10 lbs without really trying. It's possible that this extra weight was just all stress surrounding the pain I was going through.

I started adding a MANDATORY 30 minute rowing session every day at 4:30pm. It helps me to psychological remind myself that it's "end of day" and to transition into the evening. I really like it.

[fiby41]

I have noticed that I feel a need to chip in when my input isn't really required. Trying to fight that urge a bit.

Are you aiming for self censorship? Individuals suppress dissenting opinions to avoid conflict, leading to a false consensus where silence is perceived as agreement.

[WingsOnFire]

I was wondering how you are doing with the "buy only one discretionary thing each month"- thing? I have been thinking of setting a similar rule for myself for 2025, only 12 discretionary items allowed for the whole year, including yarn for a new sweater and such supplies (so hobbies don't get special allowances!)

I can't do a complete no buy, as I'm afraid it will just make me fail and then go overboard. My goal is to learn to be super mindful and intentional with my buying habits, so I'd rather do something that I can keep up for the long term.
If pure needs are removed from the equation, I think 12 items should be plenty..

[Veronica]

Entry 19: A rolling snowball

Current Goals (progress):
100k in Net Worth (32k/100)
Bodyweight Target: 118 (175)
Target Savings Rate: 78% (47%)
Target Resting Heart Rate: 40bpm (61bpm)

--Money--
Hello world! Been a while.
Investing aggressively and socking away as much as I can into brokerage account and just the rhythms of daily life.
I owe 7500ish (projected) in taxes, so that's going to hurt. But overall, I'm pleased and building forward momentum.
I'm spending much less, owe very little, and content with the daily ebb and flow.
I've got everything I need. Now the real fun begins.

--Job--
Things are going well I think! I can always be a bit more productive, but who doesn't have that concern from time to time?
Contract renewed another year, which is definitely a morale booster. I've also tried to do what I can to volunteer to take on some bigger
things end to end for our clients, and generally make myself useful, but without being a spotlight hog. I think I've hit a good balance.

--Education--
Spending a lot of time in front of a terminal. Coding, working through books on various frameworks and languages, etc.
I also really enjoy the little group I've curated for myself on twitter. Very high quality people, who are all mostly tech savvy, bold and frugal tinkerers. I think that many have naturally stumbled onto many of the same lessons of this website, with an extreme focus on being broadly competent and always focusing on sharing and learning more in their various areas of interest.

-- Health --
Huge strides in health. The weight doesn't show it, but my body composition is much healthier. Muscle gain, fat loss, just a better shape. Much calmer. The resting heart rate changes speak for themselves. The hardest part has been the diet adjustment; 1400 calories a day.
It's brutal, and I still don't feel satisfied with such little food volume. But I can feel it working.

I'm very excited to keep this ball rolling, and I can't wait for what's next

[Veronica]

Are you aiming for self censorship? Individuals suppress dissenting opinions to avoid conflict, leading to a false consensus where silence is perceived as agreement.

I think part of what I was fighting at the time (and still am) is that I felt a need to "participate" and show engagement, but I also didn't really have the wisdom or even the track record to really do so in a meaningful way, if that makes any sense.

Like, I would be in a meeting where we would discuss a really critical project; no one would ever ask for my opinion and frankly, even if I had one it wouldn't really be warranted or even contribute much. Yet I would still uncomfortable with joining a meeting, sitting there for 2 hours and never saying a single word in between 'hi guys" and "see you tomorrow".

I would write down things I didn't know so I could learn them later, take minutes (which were appreciated), but it still took a long time for me to become comfortable. I just wanted to be helpful so badly but the truth was the most helpful thing I could do was just stay out the way and observe.

[Veronica]

I was wondering how you are doing with the "buy only one discretionary thing each month"- thing? I have been thinking of setting a similar rule for myself for 2025, only 12 discretionary items allowed for the whole year, including yarn for a new sweater and such supplies (so hobbies don't get special allowances!)

I can't do a complete no buy, as I'm afraid it will just make me fail and then go overboard. My goal is to learn to be super mindful and intentional with my buying habits, so I'd rather do something that I can keep up for the long term.
If pure needs are removed from the equation, I think 12 items should be plenty..

Hi Wings!
Sorry, I got really focused and didn't get back to you right away.

Yes, I really like my "buy one thing a month" strategy. I will probably stick with this for the whole of my life. It really forces me to be thoughtful about my purchase, and maybe skew towards something with a better long term value when you know that your next purchase will definitely be a while.

My purchases recently have been
November: a stand up utility tote bag with a wire frame (I use this for my grocery shopping and errands. One bag only! That way I don't eat too much)
December: Portable touchscreen monitor (I hope to use this more, but this was actually not my most thoughtful purchase)
January: Sprouting Tray and Seed Mix ( It's kind of a weird thing, but I really enjoy the act of rinsing the sprouts and I'm told they are very healthy)
Februrary: Steamer Basket (I LOVE IT)

[WingsOnFire]

Sounds good! I've been on a decluttering kick because we are moving soon, so have not even wanted to buy ANYTHING extra But I'm attending a wedding in June and will buy a dress for it this month or in April. I don't own a single fancier dress, even though I could get away with wearing one of my summer dresses. I'm trying to choose very carefully so that it will have longevity in my wardrobe. Something that can be worn for any dressy occasions any time of the year (except for funerals).

[Veronica]

Update:

My position has been eliminated as a result of the ongoing reduction in funding cuts to the NIH/NSF.
As a result, I'm currently choosing to mostly withdraw from society completely as I plan my next move.

I am currently willing to pursue any and all career options, anywhere globally, even if they require re-training.
I will continue to pursue and be involved with science, but I no longer see it as a tenable career option in the United States.

Where this takes me next, I am not sure.

[delay]

My position has been eliminated as a result of the ongoing reduction in funding cuts to the NIH/NSF.

Sorry to read that! I offer my best wishes for your job search.

[Scordatura]

My condolences.

I don't think mostly withdrawing from society is necessary. The time for your people to shine is now. They likely have contacts and support for you. Baby does not equal bath water. Society didn't do this to you, the people that did have legal names. Withdraw from them instead. Anyone else can help you along.

What employment is available to you locally?
Are you stoked to move?
Do you have a career you'd like to transfer to?

All questions I'd answer in the decision making process, if I were you.

Good luck.

[TrailMix]

Something has changed psychologically in the US. The things said to me in the past two months on this topic from both close friends and complete strangers has been deeply disturbing and I am only a student. I share this to validate Veronica’s reaction to withdraw given the circumstances. I say go where you are appreciated, even if it means going alone.

[ertyu]

The fundamental tenets of reality - how life works, that things are essentially alright and safe and reasonable - have been broken. Rights people took for granted are abolished overnight. Things everyone assumed reasonable and desirable, like say science and education. This is what people get PTSD from - the moment they lose their illusions of life being overall predactable and at least for some value of it, fair, and themselves being essentially safe. The moment they realize they are no longer in Kansas.

Ran Prieur had a good phrase - remember that there will be no respite. People will hope things will "go back to normal." Things will not go back to normal. This is the fundamental predicament we here now need to respond to, and it will be difficult discussing doing that given how much of the discussion brushes on politics and how much of a pain it is to moderate when these discussions get started. Tldr: I would not trivialize it either. Though, untimately, Scordatura is right: the way ahead is in establishing what agency one still has, and working with that.

[sky]

As a result, I'm currently choosing to mostly withdraw from society completely as I plan my next move.

Earlier this year I was also at the point "Withdraw from Civilization". After thinking it over, I am being selective in what I withdraw from. I need civilization for a lot of things. My position has morphed into "Buy Nothing Unnecessary" and "Live Efficiently". I still want to connect with certain people (but protect myself from others) and want to be able to express myself. I am still working this out because I don't have a lot of contact with other people and my normal state is hermit, even though I would prefer to be part of a group.

I think it is worthwhile to assess which connections are beneficial to you, if so, continue to engage with others.

[Jean]

Move to switzerland. It will slightly worsen my job prospect, but increase my real estate value
I'm sorry you got laid off. I agree the way orangistan is being managed is quite surprising, and creates challenges for people in and out of it.
I'm glad some people let some glimpse of how they feel about it go trough despite the political ban, because otherwise, i only get the perspective of highly politicised people.
I think the worst part, for the moral, is people repeating blatant lie. But I hope you find a way to have people around you that see the insanity.

[loutfard]

I am currently willing to pursue any and all career options, anywhere globally, even if they require re-training.
I will continue to pursue and be involved with science, but I no longer see it as a tenable career option in the United States.

Where this takes me next, I am not sure.

Scientific asylum in Europe perhaps? Significant pay cut in exchange for some semblance of stability.

I wish you good luck in unpredictable times!

[ertyu]

Scientific asylum in Europe perhaps?

without knowledge of your particular situation, how about starting another degree in a desirable location? it will allow you to get a foot in the door in the country and use the uni's carreer counseling center (or local equivalent thereof) when you look for jobs. the validity of this advice may vary depending on your chosen discipline, though

[Veronica]

without knowledge of your particular situation, how about starting another degree in a desirable location? it will allow you to get a foot in the door in the country and use the uni's carreer counseling center (or local equivalent thereof) when you look for jobs. the validity of this advice may vary depending on your chosen discipline, though

I am willing to learn new skills, but I'm a bit skeptical of getting yet another degree.

[Stasher]

Sorry to hear about your situation Veronica, as an outsider looking in we can't truly appreciate what is happening to people and communities but it doesn't look good, very scary actually.

Regularly in our news we are now seeing academics getting jobs at Canadian institutions. Our provincial and federal governments are eager to make it easy for the health, science and educational fields to move and become Canadians.

“With the uncertainty and chaos happening south of our border, we have an unprecedented opportunity to attract skilled health-care workers interested in moving to Canada,” said Josie Osborne, Minister of Health. “Our message to doctors and nurses working in the U.S. is that now is the time to come to British Columbia. We will welcome you to our beautiful province where together we can strengthen public health care, deliver services for people and build healthy communities.”

https://moving2canada.com/news-and-feat ... rs-nurses/

[Veronica]

Sorry to hear about your situation Veronica, as an outsider looking in we can't truly appreciate what is happening to people and communities but it doesn't look good, very scary actually.

Regularly in our news we are now seeing academics getting jobs at Canadian institutions. Our provincial and federal governments are eager to make it easy for the health, science and educational fields to move and become Canadians.

“With the uncertainty and chaos happening south of our border, we have an unprecedented opportunity to attract skilled health-care workers interested in moving to Canada,” said Josie Osborne, Minister of Health. “Our message to doctors and nurses working in the U.S. is that now is the time to come to British Columbia. We will welcome you to our beautiful province where together we can strengthen public health care, deliver services for people and build healthy communities.”

https://moving2canada.com/news-and-feat ... rs-nurses/

Thank you, I might look into this.
Do you know if the market is just as robust for biomedical researchers, or is the focus more immediately focused on medical service providers?