Getting my act together, better late than never

[Stacy]

In terms of travel, you might consider looking into credit card rewards. Particularly because you are looking at a longer timeframe for your trips. The sweet spot for getting rewards is opening a new account and hitting a minimum spend to get a sign-up bonus.

That's something worth considering. I have a rewards card right now. When the points build up, I tend to cash them out for a statement credit, but they can also be used toward travel. Of course, there's not the benefit that you'd get from getting a sign-up bonus for a new account.

The points amount to the same amount of cash value whether I get them as a statement credit, a gift card, or use them toward travel. But the hotels I looked at on my credit card's website also have a nice discount even before the points are applied. There are also special deals for hotels, but they tend to be fancier than I want.

I probably won't get another card unless a deal presents itself that is hard to turn down. I'm going to let the points build up on my current card and look what deals I can get when it gets closer to vacation time.

[Stacy]

Just a quick update. Not much has happened this week, but I just want to check in here on a regular basis. Right now, I’m about to fall asleep, so this will be short and sweet. (Note as I’m editing: This turned out to be a lie.)

Impulsively, I opened a brokerage account in the same place I have my IRA, just so I can learn how it works. I don’t know much about investing, and I thought it wouldn’t hurt to take $100 and put it somewhere. Right now, the money’s sitting there because I haven’t decided what to do with it yet. I’ll see if this continues to be an interest for me, and if so, I’ll continue. At any rate, my 401k and IRA will be accessible for withdrawals in seven years, although I won’t want to touch them until I retire.

I looked at how I’m doing on my budget, and it all looks good except for the grocery and snacks categories. I’ve almost reached my grocery spending limit, and I’ve exceeded my limit for snacks. I have plenty of food at home now but just need to cook some of it.
As for my goals for the month:

• Cooking more at home: It’s only been once or twice a week. I’ve been getting too worn out at work to be able to go through that effort in the evening. I need to start working at a more human pace so I can have energy in the evening.

• Creating an evening routine for making the mornings go more smoothly: It’s been hit-or-miss. I’m still working at it. This has not been a good week in terms of being organized and on top of things.

• Look into cheaper options for home internet and scrutinize my subscription services: Still have yet to do. My Goodbudget subscription renewed this month, which I had ironically forgotten about when I made my budget. I’m thinking that by next year, I’m going to start to budget completely by spreadsheet so I can save the $70 a year. And I’m finding it easier to see it all laid out on a nice spreadsheet I created myself.

• Fewer transactions at the checkout: I sense I’m not doing well there, but I’m too tired right now to check how many I’m up to. I’ll be going to the gas station twice more for coffee, but I think I can avoid buying more groceries this month, as I’m well stocked up now.

• Financial paperwork that is due: I applied for my tuition reimbursement for the semester, looked at my healthcare expenses that I want to claim for reimbursement, and thought fleetingly about gathering my stuff together to do my taxes. I just need a good day to get it all done.

• Not shopping where I work: Nope, I’ve been doing quite the opposite. That’s linked to wearing myself out at work. It’s harder to resist the massive deals I find. This week, it’s been Valentine’s Day candy on clearance.

I’m seeing that a huge behavior change is necessary to not only improve my physical health, but my financial health as well: I need to work my wage and use the energy I save to organize and improve my personal finance, and also to switch up to more frugal habits. I have years of experience on how to live very cheaply, but being too tired means I choose the path of least resistance, that is, the more expensive path.

[delay]

Thanks for your journal update!

• Cooking more at home: It’s only been once or twice a week. I’ve been getting too worn out at work to be able to go through that effort in the evening. I need to start working at a more human pace so I can have energy in the evening.
...
I have years of experience on how to live very cheaply, but being too tired means I choose the path of least resistance, that is, the more expensive path.

It's possible to cook in the weekend, and put meals for the rest of the week in the fridge. The 21 day makover has some rather extreme inspiration

Being too tired after work is recognizable... I guess it means one spends so much of one's energy at work that there is too little left for the evening. It seems related to job security, I feel less drained when I have a fixed work routine.

I offer my best wishes for extra energy for the month of March!

[Stacy]

It's possible to cook in the weekend, and put meals for the rest of the week in the fridge. The 21 day makover has some rather extreme inspiration

I read that blog post and referred to it below.

Being too tired after work is recognizable... I guess it means one spends so much of one's energy at work that there is too little left for the evening. It seems related to job security, I feel less drained when I have a fixed work routine.

Funny you should mention that. They're making cuts at work lately, and I feel like they're constantly watching me and nitpicking when I'm not absolutely perfect. I'm an excellent employee, in my humble opinion, but I'm wondering at which point they'll create an excuse to boot me out the door. It leads to a lot of mental stress.

I offer my best wishes for extra energy for the month of March!

Thank you for your insights!

And onto my post:

New month, new me. Not really. Winter is hard on my psyche, and I’m just glad that I didn’t completely drop my drive to improve my situation. Although it didn’t get much beyond the stage in which I’m still developing awareness of my behavior. I really want to push myself onto the next level, in which I’ll be spending below my means.

I had a couple of impulsive purchases this month. First, I opened a brokerage account and invested $100. Having not much experience with investing, as most of my life has been spent paying off debts, it was just an exercise to try it out. I need to get my spending under control and my debts gone before I get too involved in investing (with the exception of my retirement accounts, of course).

I had a big unplanned expense of two air purifiers, after it occurred to me that the annoying cough I’ve dealt with for the past few months could be due to poor air quality. My son has also developed congestion and a cough, and one of the cats has had watery eyes and throws up occasionally. So, we vacuumed well, and I bought one for each of the bedrooms. My son says he can tell it’s helping already. I hope it’s going to be worth the investment in the long run. I just know that it can’t be good for my health to constantly feel this way. (I did go to the doctor to have myself tested for other things that could be causing this, and the tests came up negative.) This came to $381.98 for the two air purifiers. If it hadn’t been for this, I would have come in under budget.

I spent more on food than I would have liked, partly due to my weakness around drastically marked-down chocolate, and partly due to not taking the time to pack a lunch in the evening before work. I’m also thinking about dropping my monthly meat CSA box, since it has a minimum required purchase of $75. We simply don’t eat that much meat, and it’s building up in the freezer. There’s a locally-owned fish shop and butcher a quarter of a mile down the street that I’ve only gone to twice, and that would fulfill my desire to support local businesses.

I’m also thinking about eating a more vegetarian diet. In the blog post Day 3: Grocery Shopping, Jacob wrote, “Consider going vegetarian. It is much less expensive both in terms of food cost but also in terms of reduced medical costs (cholesterol and all that). Also, it is very hard to stay overweight on a vegetarian diet. The emphasis on carbs also results in more energy.” I agree from personal experience. I was vegetarian from 1995 to 2004, and I felt healthy and energetic. Sure, a big part of that may have been due to being thirty years younger than I am now, but even last year, when I was successfully losing weight through a veggie-rich diet, I was a bundle of energy compared to how I’ve been feeling lately.

On the subject of food, I’m dropping my coffee and snack purchase on Saturday night, because my work bestie and I won’t be carpooling to our midnight shift. She transferred departments and won’t be having to work that shift anymore, which is great for her, so I’m going to stop that tradition and just bring coffee from home. So that’s one less thing.

Having spent so much time writing this, I see that my focus this month is going to be on lowering my food budget. In March, I’m just replicating February’s budget with a few tweaks and calling it The March toward Solvency.

[delay]

Thanks for your reply!

Winter is hard on my psyche

And so it is. More than half of the winter is behind us. Amen.

First, I opened a brokerage account and invested $100.

Having a brokerage account complicates finances. For example, you can have a badly overspent month, but still be richer due to stock market gains. Or you can have frugal month, but still be poorer due to stock market losses. Dealing with this randomness takes serious energy. I've seen many people never learn it. Why not focus on getting out of debt, before taking on the dragon of randomness?

I offer my best wishes for your March to Solvency.

[Stacy]

Having a brokerage account complicates finances. For example, you can have a badly overspent month, but still be richer due to stock market gains. Or you can have frugal month, but still be poorer due to stock market losses. Dealing with this randomness takes serious energy. I've seen many people never learn it. Why not focus on getting out of debt, before taking on the dragon of randomness?

You're right; this was an impulsive choice due to starting to take an interest in the subject. I'm glad to be living in a time when I can go online to explore interests like this without having to start with a lot of money or go into an office to talk to an advisor. I threw that money into a fund and will pretty much ignore it until I get my debts paid off.

Thanks for reading and commenting!

[Stacy]

A quick update:

I made a meal plan featuring the veggies I get in my CSA box. Only simple recipes, since I haven’t been feeling well. So far, they’ve been very good. They are actually from a cookbook that focuses on how to use up the food that are typically grown for CSA boxes in my state. I had all the ingredients I needed except for some dry milk powder and a loaf of crusty bread to go with a soup. The crusty bread, of course, was optional.

I’ve also been substituting cheaper ingredients in recipes. The dry milk powder can be used instead of fresh milk when cooking. Eggs can be substituted with aquafaba (the liquid from canned garbanzo beans that normally gets dumped out) and ground flaxseed. I get my ground beef frozen in one pound packages, so I’ll use TVP for any amount more than that required by a recipe. For instance, my meatloaf recipe calls for one and a half pounds of ground beef. For the last half pound, I soaked some TVP in beef broth and added a bit of marmite that I already had. My son (who didn’t know this) said the meatloaf was delicious.

Unfortunately, I haven’t been packing my lunchbox every night and have to resort to buying my food at work. I’ve already exceeded my budget for that, and the month isn’t half over. I still have $100 left on my grocery budget, but that will get used up with the next two CSA boxes. So, I need to stop buying food and start cooking it more.

Non-food related: I opened a new rewards credit card with a lower rate. It offers no interest on balance transfers for twelve months, so I’m going to shift my balance from my old card over to this one. I’m keeping my old card open, though. It gives me a great discount at certain gas stations, so I’m going to use it for that and only that purpose.

And, I got my taxes done. I’m getting a refund for the first time in a few years because my income decreased. I’m not working two jobs anymore, and I increased my 401k contributions enough to drop my taxable income by $2000. Also, I got deductions for contributing to retirement plans and for being a student. So I’m looking forward to getting that money in my account.

[delay]

Thanks for your journal update! For me the trick to cooking more is enjoying my own meals more than a purchased meal. I buy mik from the farm at $4 per gallon (€1 per liter) and it's delicious. I could buy powdered milk and trade enjoyment for money. But then I'd look forward to cooking less.

It's the same with credit cards. I am not very energetic. Energy I spend optimizing credit is energy I cannot spend on cooking. So I put a premium on simplicity. I buy everything cash or with a debit card.

[Stacy]

delay- I'm saving some ingredients for times when I can actually taste them. For instance, I used powdered milk in a creamy soup recipe. It worked fine, and most of the flavor came from the other ingredients anyway. I don't drink milk much, except to accompany certain foods, like cookies. Milk is also good to drink when I make meatloaf and other beefy meals. And my son makes chocolate milk. So we do keep it on hand, but we buy it less often. It's the same situation with eggs and other foods.

I guess I find optimizing my accounts enjoyable. Also, I put most things on a credit card and make payments from every paycheck so that I never have to worry about having enough cash or money in my checking account to buy food. For me, that simplifies my life because I have that peace of mind.

There have been times in my life when I was really struggling and truly couldn't afford to buy all the groceries and supplies I wanted, much less make a payment more than the minimum on a credit card. I'm happy to have gotten to the point in which I have a little cushion in my finances to be able to do this.

I've been feeling better in the past few days. It's like a fog has lifted from me, and I'm back to my old self. So I'll probably get more cooking done now.

[thef0x]

Enjoying your journal. Please feel free to completely ignore all of this unsolicited advice / tactics / strategies but I see so much low hanging fruit, I thought I'd chime in. No matter what, you're making improvements!!

Impulsively, I opened a brokerage account in the same place I have my IRA, just so I can learn how it works. I don’t know much about investing, and I thought it wouldn’t hurt to take $100 and put it somewhere. Right now, the money’s sitting there because I haven’t decided what to do with it yet. I’ll see if this continues to be an interest for me, and if so, I’ll continue. At any rate, my 401k and IRA will be accessible for withdrawals in seven years, although I won’t want to touch them until I retire.

I would suggest a radical shift in perspective on investing. Investing is not a hobby or interest, it is a requirement in today's capitalistic world. (Why? combating inflation).

You don't need to spend much time at all -- in fact you can set up auto-deposit and auto-invest and spend 0 time on it if you want -- but I cannot emphasize how important it is to have your money working for you in financial markets, be they stocks, bonds, etc.

A great quick read on the "why" of index investing is "A Random Walk Down Wall Street" and instead of paying money for the book, ask chatGPT or Gemini for an extensive book summary.

The easiest "set and forget" index fund you can buy is $VT or a target date fund.

• Cooking more at home: It’s only been once or twice a week. I’ve been getting too worn out at work to be able to go through that effort in the evening. I need to start working at a more human pace so I can have energy in the evening.

What about meal prepping on the weekend? Do you have a favorite audiobook, podcast, or music to groove to?

I'd use chatGPT here again to save time -- as that's the resource you seem to have the last of -- and ask "what are the three most important time-saving strategies I should implement when meal prepping for a week of food?"

Edit, here's what chatGPT said:

Batch Cooking: Prepare large portions of staple ingredients (proteins, grains, and veggies) to mix and match throughout the week.
Efficient Chopping: Chop all vegetables and ingredients in one session and store them properly for quick access.
Multi-Tasking: Cook multiple components simultaneously (e.g., roasting veggies while boiling rice and grilling protein) to maximize efficiency.

Use the containers you have around the house to store food, including zip lock bags, to start. Hold on to the various containers you acquire over time to make this faster.

• Creating an evening routine for making the mornings go more smoothly: It’s been hit-or-miss. I’m still working at it. This has not been a good week in terms of being organized and on top of things.

Elsewhere you've said you don't have energy after work, so expecting to be able to do an intensive evening routine sounds very hard. What about a morning routine? What about a weekend planning session + calendar?

Why work against a strong current.

• Look into cheaper options for home internet and scrutinize my subscription services: Still have yet to do. My Goodbudget subscription renewed this month, which I had ironically forgotten about when I made my budget. I’m thinking that by next year, I’m going to start to budget completely by spreadsheet so I can save the $70 a year. And I’m finding it easier to see it all laid out on a nice spreadsheet I created myself.

Could be too late but I bet you could call and ask for a refund and save yourself $70 today.

• Fewer transactions at the checkout: I sense I’m not doing well there, but I’m too tired right now to check how many I’m up to. I’ll be going to the gas station twice more for coffee, but I think I can avoid buying more groceries this month, as I’m well stocked up now.

Coldbrew, then heat it up, so much tastier than gas station coffee. I'm guessing this is not about coffee but about the neurological reward of buying stuff.

• Not shopping where I work: Nope, I’ve been doing quite the opposite. That’s linked to wearing myself out at work. It’s harder to resist the massive deals I find. This week, it’s been Valentine’s Day candy on clearance.

Don't bring your credit cards or cash to work. This solves gas station coffee as well.

I’m seeing that a huge behavior change is necessary to not only improve my physical health, but my financial health as well: I need to work my wage and use the energy I save to organize and improve my personal finance, and also to switch up to more frugal habits. I have years of experience on how to live very cheaply, but being too tired means I choose the path of least resistance, that is, the more expensive path.

Digital minimalism for one week. Cut news, social media, email, TV, movies, youtube, and whatever thing-on-a-screen that you spend your time doing.

You will get bored on the weekends. Use that free time to sleep more. Go on two medium difficulty walks, AM and PM, without any stimulus. Phoneless. If you're worried about getting lost, walk around the same perimeter of your neighborhood repeatedly.

This is mind-wandering-productivity time. You'll realize how much time you do have for food prep, healthy activity, and taxes (or whatever nagging project). I bet you'll experience some mental health benefits beyond physical ones.

Weekend to recover and plan, prepare and build energy.

\\

You might know how to spend the last amount of money on a specific thing, e.g. "live cheaply," but it sounds like you're the first to admit you're not living strategically.

I would strongly suggest a buy-nothing week. Based on your other posts, it doesn't sound like you can afford gas station coffee, even if it's the cheapest on-the-go coffee you can buy.

I'd shed the attachment to "I know how to be cheap" and instead face the real problem in the room: "I'm buying stuff I cannot afford".

This is harsh to grapple with and sorry again if it comes off as uncaring to confront / reflect that truth back. But I think a harsh reframe of your situation might be an important part of commitment to change.

\\

Please feel free to disregard all of these ideas, like I said at the outset, but if any of these resonate, take on the experimenters frame, and see how it goes -- you can always revert back to your old ways for a break, knowing you're going to keep tinkering to figure out a system/solution that works best for you.

Rooting for you!

[jacob]

Don't bring your credit cards or cash to work. This solves gas station coffee as well.

Walking around without money might be more risk than it's worth. Instead, I suggest putting a $20 bill in an envelope and sealing that envelope and bringing that along. Perhaps write "EMERGENCY ONLY" or some other motivational text like "I'm not going to spend this on overpriced gas station coffee" on the envelope.

I don't know how feasible it is to go to a cash-only system these days. This was a standard trick back in the old days. Shopping would require keeping a tally so as not to exceed the cash in the valet. That cash amount would deliberate be kept small (for me it was $20) and replenishing it would require an additional trip to a bank or ATM. To avoid spontaneous spending, people would literally freeze all their credit cards inside an ice cube in the freezer.

[Stacy]

I was MIA for awhile, and I'll update this evening, but I've got to share the thing that's making me happy today:

*************************************I PAID OFF MY CAR LOAN! ******************************************

It took 2 years and 10 months to pay off a 5 year loan. Working two jobs for awhile made that possible, but I've decided that I'm old and never want to work that much again in my life. So I'm going to take very good care of this vehicle to extend its life.

[Mousse]

Congratulations on paying off that loan and getting it done faster!

[Stasher]

Congratulations on paying off the car, big accomplishment to do it in almost half the time of the loan. Yes 100% make sure you look after it and don't skip any maintenance, engineers don't write those manuals just for the fun of it. What is your plan now for the money that was going towards to car loan?, straight to your investments/savings?, or do you have another loan/debt that is the next priority?

[Stacy]

Mousse and Stasher, thanks! It feels good!

Congratulations on paying off the car, big accomplishment to do it in almost half the time of the loan. Yes 100% make sure you look after it and don't skip any maintenance, engineers don't write those manuals just for the fun of it. What is your plan now for the money that was going towards to car loan?, straight to your investments/savings?, or do you have another loan/debt that is the next priority?

There's a category in my budget for non-monthly expenses that has been grossly underfunded, so it's going to be absorbed into that. Part of that category is for car repairs, which can now also be used to save money for my next vehicle. This money lives in a high-yield savings account.

[Stacy]

It took awhile for me to totally get out of the funk I was in. I started to feel better last month, but then I took a look at all the things I had gotten behind on and got overwhelmed. So here I am after another month.

I’m still following a budget [Side note: I named it No April Fooling Around] and have made some tweaks to it, but I haven’t posted about it. Kinda late in the month now. I’ll just provide an update. I did couple of things to simplify and spend less time worrying about keeping my financial records straight.

For one, I doubled the amount that I’m contributing to my Roth IRA and automated it when I discovered that I can get a payroll deduction directly to Fidelity and then get it automatically invested. It’s only $50 a week at this point, and I may double that again when I pay off my medical debt.

Also, as I was looking at past spending records, I noticed that a few of my categories don’t get used every month: Clothes, Books and Hobbies, and Home Décor. They are very much seasonal, and I’m well-stocked and don’t have a burning desire to spend in these categories at this time. So I combined them into an item in my Non-monthly Expenses part of my budget called Fun Stuff. I’m setting aside $300 for all of these things combined and will replenish as needed.

I have had a few *ahem* learning experiences this month as well. It wasn’t a stellar month for me. I way overspent on food and coffee at work because I wasn’t packing a lunch in the evenings. I’m going to have to give myself a little grace on this one, because everything was overwhelming for me for a long time. I’m finally feeling like myself 100% again but have a lot of work ahead to fix some problems caused by neglect.

One of those things is the fact that I will probably fail my two online classes. I’ll do what I can with a focus on learning the material, but I’m not going to get all of the late assignments done at this point. So now I’m a semester and lots of money behind, and I’ll have to claw my GPA out of the abyss to which it has fallen.

I also went nuts buying supplements to try to make myself feel better again, to the tune of over $200 this month. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing, though, because once I did feel a little better, I started eating salads again and choosing fruit over candy (sometimes). And now I’m mentally okay again. Except I have a ton of weight to lose. Ugh. Some people lose their appetite when depressed, but not me! I just lose my ability to resist the sugary stuff.

Anyway, I’ve learned (on YouTube) that burnout at work doesn’t necessarily come from being overworked but from feeling like nothing you do makes any difference. My supervisors have written me up for things like being late for work by three minutes and buying food without punching out for lunch but won’t acknowledge that I’m working way above expectations because I complete my tasks as efficiently as possible in addition to fixing areas that get neglected and being friendly and helpful. I also have to punch a button every 1.5 minutes so the corporate office knows that I’m working. This level of micromanaging is driving me crazy. I’m definitely on my way out of there at some point, and I’m thinking I’d better start looking around so I can leave on my own terms.

Oh yeah, I didn’t even mention the speeding ticket yet. But this is getting long and that was pure stupidity on my part….

[Stacy]

I would suggest a radical shift in perspective on investing. Investing is not a hobby or interest, it is a requirement in today's capitalistic world. (Why? combating inflation).

Thanks for reading and leaving a great response! But I would think that my retirement investments would be plenty, in terms of types of investments, seeing that I’ll be able to access the funds in seven years anyway. Keep in mind that I’m 52. I also have money in CDs, treasury bonds, and high-yield savings accounts.

What about meal prepping on the weekend?

Yes, I’ve done that in the past. I’m not really keen on using up my weekends that way at this time, as I’m not free the entire weekend. I’m thinking more along the lines of simplifying my meals. For instance, instead of making a big casserole, I’d make beans and rice instead with vegetables. Or a microwaved baked potato instead of mashed potatoes, which require peeling, chopping, boiling, mashing, and mixing in other ingredients. I could easily cut some carrots and celery for a snack and throw an apple into my lunchbox as well.

Digital minimalism for one week. Cut news, social media, email, TV, movies, youtube, and whatever thing-on-a-screen that you spend your time doing.

Yep! I have to work myself up to doing it, but I’ve started by putting an app on my phone called ScreenZen that forces me to wait one minute before I can open my most troublesome social media apps and then closing them after half an hour. Most of the time, I end up changing my mind before the minute is up, since I only clicked out of habit.

You will get bored on the weekends. Use that free time to sleep more. Go on two medium difficulty walks, AM and PM, without any stimulus. Phoneless. If you're worried about getting lost, walk around the same perimeter of your neighborhood repeatedly.

This is mind-wandering-productivity time. You'll realize how much time you do have for food prep, healthy activity, and taxes (or whatever nagging project). I bet you'll experience some mental health benefits beyond physical ones.

Good ideas. I have so much that needs to get done, and a lot of digital crap gets in my way. And I do need to catch up on my sleep. I tend to catch up on Saturday mornings, but I need to get to bed earlier during the workweek.

[Stacy]

Walking around without money might be more risk than it's worth. Instead, I suggest putting a $20 bill in an envelope and sealing that envelope and bringing that along. Perhaps write "EMERGENCY ONLY" or some other motivational text like "I'm not going to spend this on overpriced gas station coffee" on the envelope.

Now, the coffee at this particular gas station is decent and inexpensive. The way in which they get your money is by placing all kinds of tempting snacks between the door and the coffeemakers at the back of the store, and then surrounding the cash register. It's best if I avoid that place. And worse, there is an actual Starbucks inside my workplace, which is, thankfully, not yet open when I arrive. But if I decide that I want a coffee in the middle of the day, I may not have the strength to resist the expensive cup o' sugar and fat.

Funny enough, I've been carrying around a load of cash in my wallet that I forget is there. I'm not tempted at all to use cash when a card is so much easier.

A credit card is useful to have on hand for emergencies, such as getting a flat tire on the way home. But there's no reason for me to bring it inside. It can stay hidden inside my locked car. And it would be a good idea to stop shopping at the store where I work. If I need to pick up something, I can stop at the Aldi that happens to be on my way home and use the cash I have on hand.

The real solution is to be prepared with a full travel mug and lunchbox that I packed at home.

I don't know how feasible it is to go to a cash-only system these days. This was a standard trick back in the old days. Shopping would require keeping a tally so as not to exceed the cash in the valet. That cash amount would deliberate be kept small (for me it was $20) and replenishing it would require an additional trip to a bank or ATM. To avoid spontaneous spending, people would literally freeze all their credit cards inside an ice cube in the freezer.

I remember reading about that ice cube trick, but I don't remember where. Someone I know actually did that back in the day, and it was effective in getting her to calm down before she bought the thing. She still bought it, but she was sure she wanted it by that point. And it probably prevented her from buying even more.

It wouldn't work now, not with all the ways there are to access your accounts online.

[Stacy]

I have a few minutes to make a journal entry because I have to get ready for work, and I’ve trapped myself by painting my nails so I can’t really do anything else.
I was just rereading the forum topic about the ERE Wheaton Scale, and I realize that I’ve been circling the drain at Levels 0 and 1 while also having an understanding of a much higher level. I actually did the same thing with permaculture, taking the minimal effort to go through the motions to live sustainably and also reading a lot about the concepts, but not really doing much about it. I did, at one point, move back to my childhood home in the country in the hopes that I’d create a little permaculture paradise for myself, but I was woefully unprepared, due to not having built myself up to the proper level to handle it. I moved back to the city, and eventually my siblings and I agreed to sell the house and land. It was hard.
It’s the fear of failure. I’ve tried and failed at so many things in my life, and I don’t want to fail at something that means a lot to me. Instead, there’s task paralysis and reverting back to bad habits when under duress, which, of course, guarantees failure.
I notice I bog myself down with details a lot, instead of looking at the big picture and finding a systematic approach to achieve the results I want. That’s something to think about.
But for now, my nails are dry, and I have to get off to work. This is my last midnight shift before I start a different role at work with a better, more consistent schedule. Maybe I’ll be able to create a more consistent routine and get better sleep. I’m sure that poor sleeping patterns and the constant tiredness that results from it are leading to a lot of my impulse control problems in the areas of sugar consumption and shopping.

EDIT: typo

[delay]

Thanks for journalling! A human mind is the captain of a ship called Body. We can steer it, but we don't control the currents. And there are strong currents against permaculture, financial independence and a healthy weight.

It reads like you are steering towards a faraway goal. Perhaps it would help to aim for something closer by. Say, a no sugar week, instead of a healthy weight.