It seems to be a mix of cultural influence and hard-wiring. There is evidence of some change in regions such as Scandanavia, but this may be more in alignment with more women switching from their hard-wired long-term mating strategy to their hard-wired short-term mating strategy. The female short-term mating strategy tips the balance more towards "masculinity" and "physical appearance." This is why both the post-modern advice created by men and the neo-trad advice created by men often fails. As Galloway notes, the post-modern advice often conveys is that men should be able to attract women by exhibiting more feminine qualities. What the post-modern advice should communicate is that men should attract more male friends by exhibiting more feminine qualities and then find the strength in these relationships that will better allow them to exhibit more masculine qualities in their sexual relationships with heterosexual women. And vice-versa for heterosexual females. And add one level of abstraction for all of us within co-ed and/or virtual settings in which we freely and overtly choose to exhibit more of one energy or another (I disagree with Galloway's take that the workplace is great setting for finding sexual/romantic partners, because this puts women (or men who prefer to be in their feminine energy in relationship)in their feminine energy in setting where they usually need more masculine energy to flourish.)zbigi wrote:Do you know if that still holds in societies with lowest gender inequality?
The 20% of disagreement I have with Galloway (which also falls into the 60% disagreement I have with the Neo-Trads) also has to do with the limitations of "provide and protect" as descriptor of masculinity and/or "that which women find attractive", because (1) it is also often the case that women find "provide and protect" behaviors suffocating, confining, or condescending, and (2) the concept needs to be expanded more towards "purpose, plan, push, and project" to also encompass the free-spirited and vigorous directed qualities which women associate with masculinity and find attractive even when they are unlikely to directly benefit from their exhibition/fulfillment. For example, it may be frustrating and problematic to be in relationship with a broke-azz man who is driven to express himself through his art or compelled to his purpose as migrant worker advocate or deep-diving on primitive technology, but it is not an inherent sexual turn-off. OTOH, unemployed partner who is sullenly moping in the basement, eating Fritos and watching porn, is usually going to be an inherent turn-off, a status killer for a woman in relationship to her female peers and her own self-esteem, and almost certainly a relationship killer with median survival length of relationship = less than 12 months, give or take for developmental maturity of female, third party involvement, and previous performance of male.
Obviously, the relevance to this thread is that even in situations in which the male has already sequestered adequate financial resources, spending a great deal of time on activities which might be deemed as "purposeless" may constitute a "turn-off" depending on context and manner of engagement. For example, "riding a motorcycle" is a purposeless, fun activity which is generally positively associated with masculinity. I've been in relationship with men who are so energetic that I encourage them to do purposeless, fun activities on top of their purposeful activities, because otherwise it's like having a big dog underfoot knocking stuff about in the parlor. Since INTJs seem to be long-cyclers, this might play out more like 7 years of purposeful activity followed by 1 year of purposeless activity rather than the 7 hours to 1 hour per day exhibited my other types in their masculine energy, but it still might be the case that a less purposeful "off-year" might not be the best time to form heterosexual relationship, whether the INTJ is core masculien or core feminine. Dunno. This might correspond to how it is bad practice for a core feminine eNTP female such as myself to enter into long-term relationship during one of my more enthusiastic upswings when I might be mistaken for somebody with leadership potential and thereby attract a male with "follower" energy who will find himself sorely disappointed when I lapse back down to my absent-minded, independent-generalist puttering-about energy. As in, "What are we going to do today?", "Uh, I'm reading a book. Maybe I'll make some soup this afternoon." ...(notices still in room) "Why don't you go play PubG or dig some holes in the yard or something."