Smelly Swiss Dilettante

[okumurahata]

I’ve been out of my field on several occasions and have come back like the phoenix. It’s frustrating, and you have to lower your expectations and filters at times. However, you’re an engineer, and you always will be. Don’t let others discourage you. Your degree is in your brain—it’s shaped the way you think, even if you don’t always notice it. This isn’t motivational fluff. You can return to your field. Think of it as a numbers game: apply more, and use the feedback from interviews to improve. But remember, it’s just like dating—eventually, you’ll find an open door.

[7Wannabe5]

I think your primary problem might be that you are somebody who is comfortable/successful with independence and dominance*, but maybe down near 5th percentile in exhibiting attractive behaviors coherent with strong submission. Therefore, you either need to figure out how to go with your strengths within a cultural context that does not make that particularly easy**, or you have to reconcile yourself to learning some attractive behavior coherent with strong submission. For example, let's say you had a simple mission or purpose along the lines of "cook dinner for group of 8 this evening", what sort of human would you like to help you with that task/mission/purpose? What sort of behaviors would that helpful assistant exhibit? How can you be that sort of person which you now know does exist in at least seed form within you to the extent you were able to imagine your own strong submissive assistant to your purpose? If you don't like the words "submissive" and "dominant" just sub in "leader" and "follower", whichever duality vibes more behavior-based than role-based to you.

If you want a bit of practice in relationship context, you could try relaxing your stance or seated posture (make it more rounded), smiling, ducking your head, lowering your gaze, and allowing your hair to fall forward while interacting with your GF, and then observe her reaction/response. Generally, this will read as "cute like a K-Pop boy" in this context, and similar (but not the same!) behavior will read as "good guy salaryman team-player" in interview context.

Obviously, engaging in this approach may constitute more than a bit of a bait-and-switch scheme if employed during job interview process, but who cares***?

*You hang out here and you indicate that you have little difficulty attracting heterosexual female partners.

**Because does not provide much direct assistance with self-employment or ERE or anything else that might mess with current paradigm/power-structure.

***Clearly not you since you are already willing to just move right on to becoming another member of the "torch the m*f*' orange jumpsuit crew. Consider the difference between "cute like a K-Pop boy" and "cute like Luigi" and you will be half-way there.

[Jean]

I''m asking for advice, and i ain't capable of using them. I know this is very annoying to take the time to give advices, and see them not being followed. I reread them several time to try to get action out of them,
I would therefor give some more context.
I have sent hundreds of applications, only got a handfull of interviews. Most of them beetween 2010 and 2012, I then started a phd that i quit in 2015 due to it being a scam.
For this reason, i cannot learn anything from interview, or try to look like a kpop star in interviews.
I am still hugely frustrated about having lost five year doing my degree, and costed a lot of other peoples money. I know a degree doesn't entitle to anything, but the fact it doesnt get employers to just even consider my application is very infuriating. My anger is directed at my school (which i would happily defund if I could), but also at HR that don't even answer (i really hope AI will flood them with fake application so much that they'll have to ressort to only consider in person applications, I'm considering mass fake applying myself just as a personal art project).
I usually don't care about it, because I don't need a job. But as I want to have childrens, my gf expressed that she'd want us to have more money so I applied to jobs again, leading to the renewed frustration. Leading to thirtyfold more frequent migraines and hemoroïds, leading to stress about medical costs, or more precisely inhability to go see a doctor. This is damaging our relationship, my gf would like to see a therapist, but i can't afford it either, leading to more financial stress, and then possibly more fake resume pictures.

Right now, i also aply to unskilled jobs, but their is competition there too.
I looked up what kind of tour i would be allowed to take people on, their is some room available. This would be a nice reason to work on some languages.
I also would like to get more people to know my music.
And I will start doing talking videos on my youtube channel.
All these projects would be well served by a website. I am in the process of doing one.
To sum up, i need a few things.
-Some extra income, to pay for medical costs and make my gf feel safer.
-revenge on my school and HR, or more realisticaly something that makes me stop caring about my feeling of betrayal. A strong candidate is some public recognition for my music or my ideas.

Also, can you access my pictures? Or is there some tos wall before them?

Edit: Writing this down helps a lot. I know many of you will read it, so thank you very much. I hadn't fell so bad in a decade.

[7Wannabe5]

Your situation does sound frustrating. I know a lot of engineers, so would reflect that frequent bouts of unemployment is not uncommon for any engineer in early years of career. For obvious reasons, engineers are sometimes hired and applied like tools and then put aside like tools in alignment with business cycles. It often takes many years of experience and integration of business management skills for engineering to become a career that is both well-paid and reasonably secure.

Just to help you brain-storm, here are some alternatives some of the engineers I know have taken up during lean times:

1) Veer towards the building trades. For example, workers in a field like HVAC are more constantly in demand. A mechanical engineer I know started specializing in ventilation of stinky areas in grocery stores.

2) Join the military corps of engineers or apply with a military contractor doing work some place unpleasant like Qatar. A civil engineer I know spent 6 months working in place where you can't breath outside without a scarf wrapped around your nose and mouth.

3) Instead of running the application gauntlet someplace like the giant automakers or analogous equivalent, consider their supply chain and trace it out to some small shops where you might be over-qualified, but able to gain some experience. For example, a mechanical engineer I know basically ran a machine shop for a year in order to maintain his green card.

4) Move towards design. A civil engineer I know worked for a small architectural firm for a couple years.

5) Consider additional licensing or certificates that would be relatively painless to tack on to your degree, but would provide self-employment potential. For example, an expert in diesel engines who was also handy in the building trades became a licensed home inspector. Further outside the box along this limb would be getting licensed in pest (bat, raccoon, rat, etc.) removal.

6) Partner up with an entrepreneurial eNTP female book dealer who is 12 years older than you, because you are so depressed about your employment prospects you have been drinking to the extent that you convince yourself that her whimsical concept related to the design and manufacture of funky hypa-tufa lawn ornaments is a valid business proposal. (Okay, maybe strike this one.)

7) Putting hypa-tufa lawn ornaments aside, build something(s) and sell them. More practical, common example would be freestanding garden sheds. In my region, people sell sheds they've built by the side of the road. In fact, given that you live in an affluent realm, freelance garden structure work might also be a possibility. Heck, you might even be able to make a penny or two selling hypa-tufa planters at a flea market.

[okumurahata]

I'm considering mass fake applying myself just as a personal art project.
I usually don't care about it, because I don't need a job.

If you’ve nothing to lose, why not treat it as an experiment? You could document the results as you go along. Let ChatGPT generate various versions of your CV—from traditional to more unconventional ones. Then devise a way to launch a large-scale application campaign.

In life, I don’t believe anything has a zero chance of happening. Even if your rejection rate were 99.999% (which I highly doubt), with enough applications, you’d edge closer to success. The average engineer faces hundreds of rejections before eventually securing a position.

[jacob]

Sending in job applications is a numbers game and a test of the applicant's frustration tolerance. A 5% interview-rate sounds normal to me.

Are you sure you want to work for a boss or supervisor instead of e.g. a bunch of clients or customers though?

This guy impressed me running a workshop out of the spare bedroom in an apartment building: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ll-8ISUzGXQ The market for sim controllers seem very niche in the sense there are few large producers. The best producers seem to be small shops and many people sell mods or upgrades to existing controllers. The customer basis is small but typically with a lot of discretionary spending power.

[jacob]

Let ChatGPT generate various versions of your CV—from traditional to more unconventional ones. Then devise a way to launch a large-scale application campaign.

I suspect some people are already doing this which in turn is why the application system and the expectations of how the application system ought to be working are breaking or already broken. Imagine being on the receiving end, working in HR, going through hundreds of generically sounding applications. Imagine being HR and having a tool that flags chatGPT generated applications. If it was me, I'd blacklist that name for further consideration. I don't think this is very different from the corruption of online dating or in my case dealing with fake registrations on the forum.

[okumurahata]

@jacob, it’s an experiment—using brute force as an extreme approach. Like trying to break down a door by hitting it from different angles. Most businesses might blacklist him, but perhaps a few would slip through the filter. I often wonder how many people fall for internet scams created with AI. The fact is, they work. Even Google sometimes shows results that are blatantly scams.

The key is to approach it with a sense of humour. Imagine setting out with the premise: Can I achieve a 100% rejection rate? If, after a year of applying to 10 businesses a day, he doesn’t land a single job, he could publish a paper about it and send it to his university. That would be quite amusing.

[7Wannabe5]

Build a robot or drone and have it deliver your resume. I actually worked HR for a few years and what almost always worked for me was somebody with reasonable application who just kept politely reaching out to me. Sometimes people just need reminding. What Jacob said about mass online dating reach-outs is true. I actually started the practice of opening my dating profile and then not looking at it for 3 days in order to skim off the fat of robo-reach-outs and other forms of creepers. So, it is possible that same applies to job application market.

Funny thing is that I am currently in almost the exact opposite place as you. Just graduated with fresh degree, happy to be long done with for-member-of-any-species-most-expensive family formation phase of life, and suffering more from fear of success than fear of failure in terms of getting my resume out there, because I really only got the grad degree because I was too sick to do anything else. I have received a few scam reach-outs already even though my resume is in hiding. I watch a youtube channel created by this kid who appears to be about 18 who works in my new field, and he stated that 5 to 7 interview process for any one given job is par for the course. No way in hell I have enough bait and switch charm to run that level of gauntlet. The first time I was recruited for corporate employment decades ago, I remember getting to the "lunch with potential colleagues" part of the interview process and thinking, "What the fuck am I doing here?" I literally can't think of a single thing about corporate professional office space employment that appeals to me; like throwing a cat into water. But that's just me. Weirdly, my DD33 (The Diplomat type) kind of thrives in that kind of environment and even worked as a boutique tech head hunter for a few years. She's a gifted weirdo, but her gifted weirdo-ness introverts in a quiet, dark manner that fits into an office environment.

[Frita]

To sum up, i need a few things.
-Some extra income, to pay for medical costs and make my gf feel safer.
-revenge on my school and HR, or more realisticaly something that makes me stop caring about my feeling of betrayal. A strong candidate is some public recognition for my music or my ideas.

You’re asking questions. If it’s okay, I would also like to ask you some. Ultimately, the right answers will come from within yourself.

Under the permission that you were asking for advice…I hear your frustration, sadness and anger with some thoughts like, “This is awful, unfair, and not my fault.” Your feelings are valid. One thing I have learned is shifting out of the story can be helpful: “This situation is not my preference and not totally fair. I can accept it for what it is, make some small changes, and inch forward.”

It sounds like you have needs to finance healthcare and an external focus. Just a few questions:
1) How is managing your girlfriend’s feelings of safety your responsibility?
2) Do you yourself feel safe?
3) What’s up with the desire for revenge: cultural, family-modeling, personal pattern, avoidance, something else?

Right now, i also aply to unskilled jobs, but their is competition there too.

Are there any jobs you could do in your community as a day worker or things that might suck but are a reliable way to make money? For example, here one can give blood/plasma or participate in university studies, as eligible. The cement plant, the large industrial laundry, and fast food are always hiring. These are survival money options.

I looked up what kind of tour i would be allowed to take people on, their is some room available. This would be a nice reason to work on some languages.

Cool, what would that look like? I have done a couple excellent AirBnB tours with locals before and would consider them again (though I am more of a DIY and/or make-new-friends type).

[jacob]

Here's an example of a one-man shop making $500 sim pedals on a build-to-order basis.
https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2015/01 ... tact-slaw/
https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2016/07 ... -rx-viper/

[Jean]

I registererd for vet school. There is an entrance exam in july, and it will start at the next fall semester

[chenda]

I registererd for vet school. There is an entrance exam in july, and it will start at the next fall semester

That's a very serious commitment Jean, what prompted you to do this ?

[Jean]

With what I know about myself and the world now at nearly 40 yo, I think that it is probably the best career choice i could have done when I was 19. It was in the back of my head for a long time. What I like about the idea is:
the usefullness of it,
the fact that you have much more freedom than working on human (animal owner pay out of pocket, so you can talk with them and do wath makes sense to them, you don't have to follow a precise procedure without any freedom)
You can be your own boss quite early,
The scientific part is very different from my first degree.
I will be friend with a lot of hunters and farmers.
I'll have about 20 years before normal retirement age when I'll finish, so it's worth it from that POW.
I will be able to work on myself if healthcare becomes unafordable.
Murphy laws might trigger a pregnancy due to the high unpracticallity that it would have, the testosterone increase triggered by me being surrounded by 20yo women might help too.

On a practical level, it isn't too much of a commitment, because I can bike to the UNI, tuition aren't hyper expensive, and I don't need to work a lot to learn.
A great part of what I need to do now is therefor turning it into a commitment in my head despite the relatively low cost of entry.

[chenda]

Well I wish you the best of luck Jean. I briefly worked with vets, but can't think of anything which might be helpful other than there is/was an apparent shortage of male vets who tend to work in agricultural rather than pets, which are female dominated. Agricultural practice has unsociable hours and means manhandling large beasts. Thinking about it, I could see you as a vet it might well be an ideal profession for you.

[loutfard]

Best of luck with the new studies Jean!

[J_]

+1, when I read your tirades before I tought what type of work or atmosphere would fit to Jean. I really do think a profession of vet would suite you. So give it all to go through the entrance exam! Good luck!

[Jean]

Now i have to get over the grief of not having done it earlier

[SouthernAlchemy]

I went back to school at 46yo for something that had been in the back of my mind since 19 or 20. Sometimes I'm mad at myself for waiting so long, but mostly I'm happy I got at bunch of different experiences over those 26 years. It's never too late. Sounds like a good plan!

[guitarplayer]

Good luck @Jean, I hope it will work for you! I recommend you look back at a few other projects of reskilling you had, such as, if I remember it right, studying medicine or that programme to do with nuclear physics (I think?) and try to find out what were the breaking points to aim to avoid these now.

I am with @SouthernAlchemy, with the exception that I think there is no point to be mad, there's just one life and there is no script to it (that we know of, anyway!).

A major point of the lifestyle promoted on this forum is to be able to go back to school, build a DIY curriculum and go through it, game all day, or do anything else at any point.