Getting my act together, better late than never

[LiberateMind]

I had two other things with much higher interest first: a line of credit at 15.6% and a credit card that is on a deferred interest plan. With that one, I must pay it off in November to avoid the interest that is accruing. So I paid off the line of credit, and I upped my weekly payments to the credit card to $200 per week.

Excellent job here. Kudos on cancelling the subscriptions. Every little bit counts, may be making progress chart for every month will keep you motivated.

[Henry]

I noticed several shows that I’ve been intending to watch, but then I looked them up on my public library’s website and discovered that every single one of them is available if I put in a hold request.

The library is usually just a time delay, although sometimes they don't carry or its not made available. I've never seen the last season of Fargo but I'm alive to post about it. They also can carry things that you might not be aware of like BBC productions that can be very good. And if they don't have what you want, ask. They often have unused budget money and will purchase for you although they might not really seriously consider adding Reform School Girls XIII to their catalog despite how many times you ask. Or at least that's what I heard.

[Laura Ingalls]

I am curious if your household would qualify for food assistance? You would have to be close.

Does your son have ways he can contribute either by earning (I know some folks can work and earn a certain amount before it reduces the disability amount) Maybe he could be in charge of meal planning and maximizing the healthfulness and tastiness of your diet. Steel cut oats in the crockpot, making homemade bread.

[Stacy]

Can you get your son on board somehow?

Yes, and I have talked to him since I made that post. It opened his eyes to how urgent it was to get a handle on our finances. I send him a spreadsheet every month with the breakdown of his part of the expenses, but I don't think he really put much thought into why the numbers look like they do. He just sends me what's due, and that's it.

I'm not really sure he wants a house, so I'm still thinking about that. It would be a lot for him to deal with in case something happens to me. On the other hand, I continue to be worried about rising rents.

[Stacy]

For internet, I use Xfinity Internet Essentials, it is fast internet for $10 a month designed for low income folks. If your son has Medicaid, he would qualify for this internet discount. The website says you can't have ahad Xfinity for 90 days prior, but I was able to get them to switch me directly from a full priced plan to Internet Essentials.

Wow, thanks for the info! I'll definitely look into this.

WingsOnFire, Regarding craft supplies, I did downsize a lot when I gave ten big bags of fabric and notions to a friend who does cosplay and worked in theater at the time. She was absolutely thrilled.
I had decided that I would only make quilts and other things that would work with quilting fabric. Although now, I'm thinking about making plushies, too. But since I haven't gotten back into crafting yet at all (and can't even get on the sewing machine long enough to do some mending), there's no danger of that happening anytime soon.

[Stacy]

I am curious if your household would qualify for food assistance? You would have to be close.

I looked into it, and I make slightly too much to qualify.

However, I have used a food pantry in the past that doesn't require income information, and they provide an enormous amount of food. If it comes to it, I will use them. But, actually, I already have a lot of food piled up. I just need to use it.

My problem is self-control when it comes to shopping. When work is over, I need to walk in a direct line to the front door without looking at anything and save my shopping for a Saturday morning, when I'm not tired and I have a well thought-out list in front of me.

[Henry]

When work is over, I need to walk in a direct line to the front door without looking at anything and save my shopping for a Saturday morning, when I'm not tired and I have a well thought-out list in front of me.

Describe the transaction process at work. Do you have a store credit card that you need to pull out of your wallet every time you make a purchase? Or is it just "Hi Stacy, thank you for participating in SlaveMart's special employee program "Spend more than your paycheck until we have you working overtime to pay off your store purchases."

[UrbanHomesteader]

Henry's inquiry reminds me of about 15 years ago, when I was trying to reduce impulse spending (mostly restaurants and drinks), and I wrapped a sticky note around my credit & debit cards, then wrapped several rubber bands around it. So, if I wanted to buy something I would have to unwrap the whole thing, including my stickynote with a money goal on it (like "save $500 this month") first.

Now I'm so used to not spending money, it's just not an issue any more. We can change our habits over time.

[Henry]

My thought is that Stacy doesn't need anything to transact but an employee ID card which is mandatory to carry, so she can't leave it at home. Outside of her own willpower, the store is making it impossible for her not to transact.

[Stacy]

This journal has been good for my accountability. Knowing that other people can see me being a dumbass with money makes me a little more mindful. Not that I’m going to confess everything. It would be too much. I have some deeply instilled bad habits that I’m working on, and like any addict, I have my setbacks.

Like yesterday, when I didn’t pack any food for lunch because I was too busy zoning out in front of the tv the night before, so I ended up buying all my food. And the first thing I bought was an extra-large fancy coffee drink and a piece of cake, even though I had walked over to the coffee shop with the intention of getting a much cheaper regular coffee and maybe an apple. So, something about $3 turned into $11.20. And actually, if I had packed something for my first break, I would have brought a travel mug of coffee and some crockpot oatmeal for maybe 50 cents.

That’s only one example, and I’m not going to go on and on about it, because they are 100% behavioral, and I’ve started therapy sessions to deal with that.

A superstore with an attached Starbucks is indeed a dangerous place for someone like me to work. We sell a quarter of a million products. This is wealth beyond the fantasies of most of the royals throughout history. Just about any object you desire being available for the taking, with just a swipe of a card. No wonder kids have temper tantrums in stores. It’s too overwhelming. I will work here until I’m done getting what I want from them (a free education through their tuition reimbursement program), and then I’m hightailing it out of here. In the meantime, I’m going to pack my lunchbox to the brim the night before work and leave my credit card in my locker. Actually, in my car would be a better idea to avoid unplanned shopping trips after work.

But I’m going on and on about one thing. My plan for this week was to figure out exactly what is involved in my heavy “personal expenses” category. Here’s how it seems to be breaking down:

Snacks and drinks: This month, I spent $103 on this category at my workplace, in 19 transactions. That means there were that many times I had to buy food because I didn’t pack a lunch. It also includes getting coffee. All that money going back to my billionaire overlords. It will be a priority to make this one disappear.

Also in this category, five trips to the vending machine (round up to $10 total) to get overpriced, mediocre chocolate, and one coffee at a gas station, which wasn’t so bad, but I could have brought it from home that day.

Supplements: $150, which makes me feel really silly. They were an impulse buy, and they’re for helping me to stop gaining weight and feeling sluggish, when really, just eating more nutritious food will help with that. Anyway, just now, I cancelled my monthly subscription for them and unsubscribed to their emails. I still have a multivitamin being shipped to me, but that’s it. I just need to eat more greens and drink more water.

That’s less than the $567 average I had mentioned before, but much of that was spent in previous months, and becoming self-aware has a way of cutting down the spending. One day at a time.

The only other thing I have to report is that I closed down my accounts in a credit union that I wasn’t really using. I only had $40 in there, which I got back as cash. I need to simplify, and closing unused accounts is one step I’m going to take. It will wreak havoc with my credit score, but who cares? I’m not planning to take out any loans any time soon.

[Stacy]

On Halloween night, a wonderful (but by no means, unique) idea drifted into my head: No Spend November.

I like a good personal challenge, and this is an opportunity to kickstart some healthier money habits. And just in time, too, because it’s traditionally the week in which I go nuts buying up the Halloween candy and decorations on clearance. This month, besides the usual bills, I’m only planning to splurge once, and that’s on a Thanksgiving meal at a restaurant. We may also buy a pie to bring home.

For once, I’ve created a budget in which I properly use the envelope system:

Income:

• Work: $1760 (I had to take a break from overtime when I burnt out and ended up calling in sick one day. I’ll slowly work it back in once I feel better and catch up on my schoolwork and housework.)

• My son’s share of last month’s bills: $710

• Interest from accounts: $13 (Does not include CD’s since I don’t have it available for use.)

Total income: $2483

Expenses:

• Medical debt, payment plan: $153

• Books and hobbies (only in here because I had a little extra money): $20

• Cell phone: $21

• Car loan payment: $308

• Clothing and accessories: $50 (I’m down to two pairs of work pants, so I may need to buy one more pair. When I do, I’m going to invest in a good, durable pair.)

• Gas: $45

• Groceries and household goods: $200 (I got a head start because I did some shopping on Halloween. And we’re still stockpiled with everything we need, just about. Although I just remembered that we’ll need cat food soon. Maybe I’ll go for a small bag this month.)

• Laundry: $40

• Personal care (not items reimbursed by flexible spending plan; only in here because I had a few extra bucks): $11

• Renter’s insurance, one year: $130 (I’m going to give them a call to see if there are any discounts I qualify for.)

• Restaurants (Thanksgiving): $50

• Roth IRA contributions: $400

• Savings Bonds purchases: $100 (Rates went down, though. I might decide to stop buying these.)

• Snacks and drinks (only in here because I had extra money to budget): $20

• Internet: $109 (I have ideas for how to lower that but have not taken the time to do so.)

• Rent: $750

• Electricity, budget billing plan: $76

Total expenses: $2483

Some categories are not listed because I won’t have expenses this month for them, such things as home décor, education, car registration and car insurance. I put my last monthly streaming service, YouTube Premium, on hold for a month, but since the payment already happened, that won’t take effect until the 29th. But at least I won’t get billed for it at that time. After a month of putting up with ads, I’ll decide whether to keep it or not.

There are a couple of subscriptions I had forgotten about because they only charge once a year:

• The Great Courses Plus, which I had been using for awhile and then forgot about.

• And embarrassingly, Microsoft Solitaire. Yes, I was paying money to play Solitaire, but only because the ads were so annoying that I went temporarily insane and paid the money to stop them.

• Also embarrassingly, eHarmony. You would think that a substantial paywall would deter scammers, but noooo…..

Anyway, I disabled the autopay on all of them, so when they’re expired, they’re expired. [/list]

Happy to say, my son is 100% on board with this budget. He also intends to use some personal restraint on his own purchases. Which is good, because he’s owed me some money for several months that would be nice to get back. A big motivator is our plan to take another trip out west in a couple of years.

We also may have made a compromise on my desire to own a house and his desire to not have to not have to deal with lawn maintenance. I found that there are condos in town that are reasonably priced. They are few and far between, and they are probably only available when someone dies, but that is an option that exists. I found one on Zillow that is the same size as our apartment with 2 beds/1.5 baths and move-in ready with appliances included for $159,000, and in a great location. And no HOA fees, but lawn maintenance and snow removal is included somehow (?). I wish I could jump on that, but there’s no way I could right now.

[Henry]

• And embarrassingly, Microsoft Solitaire.

A picture of Bill Gates and Warren Buffet laughing like stoned teenagers popped into my head.

[delay]

For once, I’ve created a budget in which I properly use the envelope system:

Thanks for sharing your journey! A budget is an initial plan which is good to have. Then when reality hits you have to move money between envelopes. It's the sign of a healthy budget and YNAB's Rule 3: Roll With The Punches. It's what helps you keep budgeting.

My best wishes, if you'll have them, for your No Spend November.

[Stacy]

Delay,
Great video, and funny, too. I was glad to have a little extra that I didn't really need in any other category, which is why I have some in the books, personal care, and snacks categories, even though I'm well stocked up in those areas. I'm sure I'll be shifting some money around. The grocery category is tight on purpose, to encourage me to avoid that side of the store, but there's a pretty good chance that I'll be needing to shift some money that way at some point.

[Stacy]

A picture of Bill Gates and Warren Buffet laughing like stoned teenagers popped into my head.

And now I have a mental image of them as Beavis and Butthead.

[NewBlood]

Hi Stacy, great journal!

If your plan is to buy a house someday, maybe you could add a "house downpayment" category and throw any extra money in there instead? It would make your goal a bit more concrete to watch that category slowly grow every month. And if plans change, that'll be a nice emergency or travel fund.

Or you could use the extra money at the end of each month to overpay your debts and free up more money sooner.

[Stacy]

If your plan is to buy a house someday, maybe you could add a "house downpayment" category and throw any extra money in there instead? It would make your goal a bit more concrete to watch that category slowly grow every month. And if plans change, that'll be a nice emergency or travel fund.

Or you could use the extra money at the end of each month to overpay your debts and free up more money sooner.

That's a great idea. I'm going to try to figure out what that down payment should be and start that next month. I already have a travel fund ready to go with the money in a CD, and we're planning a big trip in 2026 or 2027. I also have a small fund for when I was losing weight, to reward myself for making progress. Sadly, I haven't spent any of it since April. :'(

I'm doing well so far on my No Spend November. I may just consider throwing any extra into my car loan. Even if it just gets it paid off one month earlier, that will make me very happy.

[WingsOnFire]

I just want to encourage you, that you are not alone here with your tendency to impulsively buy. Most people here seem to have a great handle on controlling themselves, but I'm right there with you! So thank you for being open and honest about your struggle to become more mindful, intentional and frugal! I've tried to identify my triggers to overspend and actively do something else instead, when I feel an impulse to buy. Decluttering has helped me as well. When I have around only the things I actually use and like, I can "see" them better, I have the energy to take better care of them, and this makes me like them even more, as they become more and more a part of my life. Having excess just makes everything less meaningful.

Also, great idea UrbanHomesteader I could imagine the reaction on one's face when ripping off that plastic wrap and other barriers and finding the sticky note about saving 500..

I had a credit card with a ridiculous amount of credit, 10 000 euros. I paid it off for the last time early this fall if I remember correctly, cut up the card and tried to forget the security number. Sometimes having a bad memory has an unexpected benefit I still have it in theory, I haven't gotten around to going to cancel it (I didn't find a way to do it online), but I have not been even tempted to use it. I realize that a credit card is more secure than a debit card to use online in case of frauds though. So that would be my main benefit from using it instead of a debit card. Or I could get a card with only say, 500 euros credit, or whatever is the lowest you can get, maybe 1000 euros. But even 1000 euros credit feels too risky at the moment so I prefer not to "have it" at all.

And I have to admit that I buy nearly everything except groceries and household cleaning products online. I hate going to brick-and-mortar shops, it gives me anxiety so that I actually get physical symptoms (like having to go to the bathroom ). This happens if I'm doing the shopping, it is okay to go in with a friend when I'm not going to actually buy anything, or am even interested in buying anything, so all the decision making is off the table.

[Laura Ingalls]

You make me thankful that I spent most of my working life working in public schools with unappealing food. Even the saddest leftover looked good by comparison.

[Stacy]

I just want to encourage you, that you are not alone here with your tendency to impulsively buy. Most people here seem to have a great handle on controlling themselves, but I'm right there with you! So thank you for being open and honest about your struggle to become more mindful, intentional and frugal! I've tried to identify my triggers to overspend and actively do something else instead, when I feel an impulse to buy. Decluttering has helped me as well.

Thanks for the encouragement! Everyone here is so much farther along than I am, and I'm glad to see that someone else has the same struggles. Well, not glad, but I don't feel like such a silly person if someone else understands.

Congratulations on paying off the huge credit card debt! Making it difficult to use the card was a good strategy. I also have a large amount of credit, but it's split between a few cards, and I don't have the urge to go splurge with it. However, it does make me sloppy with my spending habits, knowing I have that cushion of credit to protect me. I just need to forget it exists unless there's an emergency in which I need to tap in to it.

I agree about the decluttering. I did a little decluttering at work yesterday. We had Halloween merchandise on 90% off clearance. But then the time came when we could ships the items back so some entity (the wholesaler, I think) to get a partial refund on them. I took it upon myself to fill up carts with the stuff and get them over to the area in the back where they could be shipped back. It was a win for me in two ways: I could show off how "proactive" I was to the boss, and I could be freed from the torture of looking at all these Halloween decorations and treats at extremely low prices.

The longer I work there, however, the less I'm obsessed with buying things. There's such a gigantic flow of similar products all year long, and they really only change by color and design. I'm getting really disgusted with how much waste there is in the sale of consumer goods.