Embracing Solitude: INTJ's Journey Towards Retirement

[Scott 2]

I get it. I would have said the exact same thing while I was working. I may have in my journal. At one point I declined boating to spend my day manually testing software. Looking back... I missed out. There were good people on my team. Nobody loves the corporate BS. They are hustling to feed their families.

With perspective - work over committed me. I was already in the early stages of burnout. Instead of establishing boundaries and addressing the root causes, my instinct was to hold people at arms length. Unfortunately, that let the problems fester, which eventually brought me into full burnout.

My solution was to retire and recover, but it took the better part of a year. It would've been good to understood the root causes earlier. If that's something you'd be interested in exploring, I like Emily Nagoski's book on the topic:

https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/42397849

I don't know that I would have believed any of this while in the thick of it. So fair play if you minimize contact and embrace freedom from. The results are far better than numbly grinding on. But the time at work is your life too. Maybe it can also be good.

[okumurahata]

There are good people in my team as well. However, in my previous roles, I always connected with a couple of people who restored my faith in humanity. Strangely, here I don’t connect with anyone, except for the senior who is about to retire and is not in my team. I’m fiercely independent and a loner, but I also appreciate finding people with a similar mindset, and those who find the corporate world absurd. In this place, either everyone is exceptionally good at pretending, or they genuinely love their jobs so much that it makes me feel odd for not being fully immersed.

Yesterday, I turned 33. I’m still relatively young, but I’m starting to feel a decline in energy, enthusiasm, and passion compared to my 20s. For me, COVID marked a transition from an optimistic future to an uncertain and fearful outlook. I suppose I grew older during that period.

In recent years, I’ve become adept at enduring pain and being steadfast. I also take pleasure in fewer things that once brought me joy. Apple launches a new VR glasses? Yeah, whatever… Do you want to travel to Japan? Not interested… Have you seen that movie/series? Who cares… It feels like a perpetual state of despair and extreme boredom. Everything appears uninteresting to me, and time passes by quickly.

I might be experiencing burnout, thanks for the book recommendation @Scott 2, I will read it.

[Henry]

It feels like a perpetual state of despair and extreme boredom. Everything appears uninteresting to me, and time passes by quickly.

Don't worry, revulsion will soon settle in and you'll metamorphose into a giant bug.

[Crusader]

In recent years, I’ve become adept at enduring pain and being steadfast. I also take pleasure in fewer things that once brought me joy. Apple launches a new VR glasses? Yeah, whatever… Do you want to travel to Japan? Not interested… Have you seen that movie/series? Who cares… It feels like a perpetual state of despair and extreme boredom. Everything appears uninteresting to me, and time passes by quickly.

I have felt like this before, and to an extent, I still do. But like everything in life, I think there are stages in life and this feels/felt like a stage that my brain had to go through. However, I feel that I am transitioning into a new stage whereby I am rediscovering new and old things I liked/enjoyed, but from a new perspective. I also notice that people's relationships matter more to me now compared to the past.

[jacob]

In recent years, I’ve become adept at enduring pain and being steadfast. I also take pleasure in fewer things that once brought me joy. Apple launches a new VR glasses? Yeah, whatever… Do you want to travel to Japan? Not interested… Have you seen that movie/series? Who cares… It feels like a perpetual state of despair and extreme boredom. Everything appears uninteresting to me, and time passes by quickly.

http://onesystemonevoice.com/resources/ ... 5B1$5D.pdf

Especially, the 4/5 stage. You're sounding like you're beginning to break towards post-conventionalism. I often envy how careerists can stay focused on one-work-thing and one-hobby-thing (usually while talking about work-life(r) balance) for up-to their entire life without ever questioning whether there's more to it. Yet the majority manages to do just that. A few wonder because the career-system doesn't quite "capture" them. They start to question. The problem is that it's hard to go back to not-questioning once one starts questioning whether this is all there is to it? How many would really trade the wisdom they won for the naivety of youth once the full implication of that bargain is understood?

[zbigi]

I saw a study which said that around 80% of people are "often exhausted" after work. This shows that most people probably aren't that content in their job-for-life scheme, but they don't dare to think that there might be another way. This (exhaustion + the feeling of being trapped) would also explain a lot of the addictions and overall mental misery that we see around.

[okumurahata]

Don't worry, revulsion will soon settle in and you'll metamorphose into a giant bug.

Some exes will probably say there’s no need to wait until the afterlife for my metamorphosis.

[okumurahata]

November 2023 update:

Code: Select all

// ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
// Assets
// ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stocks: 34.255,39 EUR
Cash: 14.822,66 EUR
+----------------------------------+
TOTAL = 49.078,05 EUR
+----------------------------------+

// ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
// Liabilities
// ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Debt: 0 EUR
+----------------------------------+
TOTAL = 0 EUR
+----------------------------------+

// ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
// Monthly income
// ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Job: 1.900 EUR
+----------------------------------+
TOTAL = 1.900 EUR
+----------------------------------+

// ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
// Monthly expenses
// ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rent: 500 EUR
Electricity: ~40 EUR
Water: ~20 EUR
Internet: 40 EUR
Food: ~400 EUR
Gym: ~50 EUR
+----------------------------------+
TOTAL = 1.050 EUR
+----------------------------------+

Progress until retirement (considering 25x yearly expenses):

Code: Select all

⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ 15,58%

Another challenging month in terms of market performance; I lost 1,5k EUR of NW in the middle of October (in only one week), which is almost a full month's salary. In regard to cash flow, it's similar to last month, as I continue to invest the surplus in the stock market, now that I have one year's worth of expenses saved.

I've updated the bills for water and phone, as we're using less water due to the improved climate and rainfall in Barcelona compared to the summer months. Additionally, I've added a data plan for my partner. With these adjustments, we're now spending just over 1 JAFI for the two of us, leaving little room for further improvement. Once my partner secures a job, our financial situation will likely improve. Currently, the WR (taking into account only the value of stocks) stands at 36%. However, this could drop to 18% if we both have a job, which is something to keep in mind.

[delay]

Thanks for sharing your update! Congratulations on your very focused budget.

There are no expenses for things like clothing, electronics, bike and furniture. These are costs you run up yet are not visible. Food at 48% is a relatively large! In The Netherlands food is getting more expensive, especially meat and vegetables. The quality is dropping. I've switched from the supermarket to the market and food cooperations.

[okumurahata]

Thanks for your response @delay! Here is a justification of my non-exhaustive accounting.

I only account for (projected) recurrent costs; other categories are implicitly added to my net worth. These expenses are paid via dividends or remuneration accounts. For example, the cost of gasoline for my motorbike (around 20 EUR per month) comes from the 2.5% interest earned on my cash account. Clothing, electronics, and furniture follow the same principle. I accumulate dividends and then spend them on these non-essential items.

In other words, this is a justification on why I’m too lazy to engage in exhaustive accounting.

[okumurahata]

To clarify further, the ‘food’ category encompasses groceries and any payments made at the supermarket. My partner manages that budget, and she saves around 50 EUR per month, which she uses for her clothing or other things she wants.

I don’t subscribe to services like Netflix, Spotify, YouTube Premium, etc. None at all. It might seem unusual, but I’d prefer to spend 300 EUR on shoes than commit to a recurring service fee of 8 EUR per month.

Regarding electronic devices, I own a 2015 iMac, a 2020 M1 MacBook Air, an Apple Watch SE, and an iPhone 13 Mini. I acquired all of them through dividends and special offers on Amazon, using trackers like Keepa. The iPhone was purchased in Thailand for an excellent deal. Any future electronic devices will likely be second hand, as Apple’s prices seem to be spiraling out of control.

At work, they provide me with a laptop, an external monitor, and a SIM card. My TV is a 32-inch Samsung that I believe is over 8 years old. I don’t feel the need to upgrade it. I have some electronics from Christmas gifts, such as a HomePod Mini and AirPods Pro. I typically use these devices until they either break or become unusable due to software updates.

[Scott 2]

this is a justification on why I’m too lazy to engage in exhaustive accounting.

You're going to want the full data set when you retire or take a break. Ideally a couple years worth, including spend for both you and your partner. Even stuff your employer may cover today, like insurance and taxes.

You also want to be well practiced as as a couple, at having an ongoing conversation around money. A regular check-in uncovers unstated financial assumptions early, before they escalate into a fight or disappointment.

When your savings rate is in the double digits, it's easy to ignore development of these skills. When you enter into a draw down phase, whether temporary or permanent, it's valuable You stay ahead of financial problems, saving both stress and time.


Once your system is in place, it is not hard. This month I'll take 90 minutes alone and another 30 to discuss with my wife. Our spending is substantially more complex than you've described. Moving money around and paying bills is included in that time.

We link the accounts to an online aggregator. I extract the data to excel, tag it, and then dump it into a spreadsheet. The analysis I want happens automatically, using the tags.

The process of developing your personal system, is where you learn what matters to you about money.

[delay]

Regarding electronic devices, I own a 2015 iMac, a 2020 M1 MacBook Air, an Apple Watch SE, and an iPhone 13 Mini. I acquired all of them through dividends and special offers on Amazon, using trackers like Keepa. The iPhone was purchased in Thailand for an excellent deal. Any future electronic devices will likely be second hand, as Apple’s prices seem to be spiraling out of control.

Nice, I have a 2020 M1 MacBook Air too. I thought it would be a beta experience for the new ARM chips, but it was (and it) really smooth.

[okumurahata]

Good news, to my surprise, I got a really good evaluation at work, and will get a bonus next month. It’s not much, but I’m happy. A small step further towards FI.

[okumurahata]

Funny story today. There was a big event at work where some directors presented results of different teams. One of those events where networking is encouraged.

My team walked to the event, and I told them I would follow later because I was going with my motorbike. I arrived first, walked around the event with my helmet on my arm. A manager was already there, came to me, and said that going with the helmet signaled I was ready to leave at any moment. I smiled and said, ‘That’s part of my strategy!’ He smiled and walked away. Another boss jokingly said when we sat to listen to speeches that I love to speak in public so much, that I came with my motorbike to be the first one to speak. Haha.

I listened to the bs corporate speech without paying too much attention, and just as the last word was pronounced, I took my motorbike and went back to the office. No drinks, no forced socialization, etc. Felt like a bit of a rebel. Okumurahata is now known as a socially awkward anarchic character.

[Henry]

Okumurahata is now known as a socially awkward anarchic character.

I guess it's good that your coworkers think of you somewhere between Holden Caulfield and The Unabomber.

[okumurahata]

I guess it's good that your coworkers think of you somewhere between Holden Caulfield and The Unabomber.

It would be interesting to include Salinger and the Unabomber in such an event. Add Bukowski to the mix, and Okumurahata wouldn’t leave early anymore.

[Henry]

Motorcycle helmet had me thinking Okumurahata as Marlon Brando in The Wild One.

Coworker: What are you rebelling against Okumurahata?
Okumurahata: What do you got?

[loutfard]

November 2023 update:

Code: Select all

// ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
// ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
// Monthly expenses
// ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rent: 500 EUR
Electricity: ~40 EUR
Water: ~20 EUR
Internet: 40 EUR
Food: ~400 EUR
Gym: ~50 EUR
+----------------------------------+
TOTAL = 1.050 EUR
+----------------------------------+

Could it be that your budget is not very precise? What I am missing in this budget is slightly more than what others have just mentioned:

- insurance: renter's, health (mandatory and non-mandatory), travel, legal aid, vehicle; Just the mandatory and minimal no-really-don't-go-without insurance runs us 93€/m after every single possible optimisation.
- home stuff a tenant is supposed to fix or maintain. That might be minimal in your case.
- water and space heating. Might be cheap in Barcelona. 60€/m for 750kWh/m is considered very low over here.
- motorcycle: maintenance and depreciation (you answered about the fuel). Our two folding bicycles are 45€/month, amortised over 10 years including maintenance and residual resale value.
- transportation: public transport, vehicle rental: I imagine you sometimes go places with your significant in other ways than by motorcycle, but I might be wrong about that
- gifts. We try to limit these to 20€/m. Not easy, but getting better at it. The difficult bit is first degree relatives. We're at 12.5€/m minimum for my parents' birthdays and mother's and father's day alone.
- healthcare: even if perfectly young and healthy, you want a regular dental checkup for example. The single dental implant I needed will have cost me about 1700€ net after limited insurance refunds.
- machinery: even if most is (almost) free or sourced by social capital, you probably want a budget for a vacuum cleaner, washing machine and whatnot ...
- electronics: even if most is (almost) free or sourced by social capital. We run a fairly tight ship here with 33€/m for 2 mobiles, 2 laptops, screens, printer and consumables, modem and online accounts.

I'm not trying to discourage you with this list. Quite to the contrary: writing this out is my way of rooting for you. As an INTJ, you probably get the idea.

[okumurahata]

I won’t delve into many details because I provided explanations in previous posts about why I don’t track expenses to the penny. Instead, I opt for a monthly recurring estimate of expected expenses upon retirement. I’ve never paid for health insurance in Spain, given the quality of public health. Any dentist visits incur non-recurring costs reflected in my net worth, which meticulously captures my monthly finances. The same principle applies to my motorbike and other expenses, they are included in the totals.

This guide helps gauge proximity to the 4% withdrawal rate for retirement. As I approach that threshold, I’ll incorporate a margin and analyze previous years’ expenses more precisely.

To illustrate, I’m akin to a person aiming to lose weight. Tracking every calorie meticulously would make the process miserable. Instead, I aim for consistent weight loss without excessive monitoring (going to the gym daily, eating healthy, non-drinking, etc.), and checking progress monthly (weight, fat percentage, muscle mass, etc.).

On a side note, I’ve never paid for heating or air conditioning in Barcelona. Maintenance for my Honda, a beautiful machine, costs around 150 EUR every 4000 km (not annually). I could continue listing items related to your mentioned list, but it’s boring, I’m lazy, and we won’t get much of it. On a second side note, I also don’t count MRR gains such as work bonuses, double salary in June and December, dividends, etc.