I'm gonna try and expand a bit on where you are at, as I think you are making a good effort here and want to try and help if I can. What are you doing for splits here? 2 upper body days per week, 2 lower body days per week? And what are your end goals for fitness? What end goals would make you content with where you end up (at least now, where you are starting from)?
Lemur wrote: ↑Sun Dec 26, 2021 5:59 pm
I am finding that one can go very far with body calisthenics alone. Eventually you'll need to get conventional weights I believe but for those like me that are waiting on frugal opportunities for weights, I can put together something that can take me along a journey for a while without weights. It is good functional foundation as well.
Agreed. Using both approaches is obviously the most conducive to long term health and strength, but you can start making a good amount of progress with very very little equipment.
Lemur wrote: ↑Sun Dec 26, 2021 5:59 pm
Chest: Planche Pushups
https://youtu.be/TZ63httkob4 . Basically use a measuring tape, spot hand position, and get further and further from the wall as you progress. As with all bodyweight calisthenics, keep form disciplined.
Planche pushups are beast mode. If you have one, you are a god of biceps and chest and core strength.... BUT, they are completely based completely on body type. Pretty much nobody over 6' tall can get them. If you are over 5'8", you are pretty much a god if you can obtain a straddle planche at all. Shout out to any abolute legends who can (I think there is a video of Roye Goldschmidt doing this somewhere on his instagram, but I don't have an account anymore to find it). If you are shorter, yeah go for it! But this is a high skill gymnastics move. You need to be getting feedback on form to make much progression at it, and the progression through planche is very slow (most people won't have this after 5+ years of dedicated training even, this is one of those several thousand hours of effort skills). Take videos of your workouts, and take a look at your form to try to cue yourself in certain areas. You can make more progress if you do this for several sets, correcting as you go, then take notes for immedate cueing of next time you train it.
For most normal humans, dips should suffice as the chest builder, and loading up to 5-6 sets of 5-8 reps of dips weighted with 80% of your bodyweight is a much easier (and much more consistent) way to get very strong. Version 0 (before dips with a band), would be working up the dumbbell shoulder press to 25% of your bodyweight for 5-8 reps with a 1 second hold at the top. If you don't have weights, get yourself some rings. Work to doing ring pushups (or using anything else you can grip and get your chest lower than your hands) where you can get your hands deeper than your chest from standing until parallel with the floor with feet slightly raised off the ground, then move to the dips with band assistance.
Lemur wrote: ↑Sun Dec 26, 2021 5:59 pm
Back: Pull/ups and Chin-ups. Add a weighted vest or weighted backpack as you get stronger.
Yessir. Touch your chest to the bar on every rep. It might take you a little bit to build up to that range of motion, and that's okay. Don't be afraid to use bands at the beginning to keep the reps high enough, and the form good enough. With these guys, start at 5 sets of 4 reps (when you can), and build up to 5-6 sets of 8 reps, then move of the chain of workout intensity. If you don't have one chin up yet, jump to the top of the rep, hold for 3, then slowly lower yourself through the eccentric of the pullup (5 seconds or longer). Do those for 5-8 reps if you can. If you need to, use a band for assistance.
The calisthenics / gymnastics version is you move towards the one arm variations as you get stronger, but again please don't try to get a one arm chin without proper form instruction and help, and be ready to have the worst DOMS of your life (can't even get out of bed really) when you start shifting to these.
There is a second in-between the chins and the one arm chin in the muscle-up. I find this to be the general crowning achievement of ability for the normal person. Get good enough at pulling and good enough at pushing to be able to finish 5x5 ring muscle ups (or bar if you only have one of those available, they are just harder) and you too can feel like the king of the world. It is achievable for many in only a couple years of training, and its so satisfying to be able to just rep them out when you have some rings lying around.
Lemur wrote: ↑Sun Dec 26, 2021 5:59 pm
Legs: Shrimp Squats
https://youtu.be/xfl7SDj0Gzs . This one was humbling as I am only at the first progression. I do not have the strength/coordination yet to go further. This is great too; this shattered the idea that I had to have a barbell for weighted squats - I can progress on this one for quite a while.
I love shrimp squats. Obviously one exercise does not a lower body make, but this one is pretty great. I think a shortcoming in working on the shrimp alone is that there are some things which are gonna impede progress that aren't directly worked by the shrimp squat. Ankle mobility would be a pretty big one here, as well as spinal erectors, and hip abductors and adductors. I think that if you are too weak in one of these areas it might hinder progress in the movement here itself, and lead to frustration. So just take videos of yourself and note form deficiencies, then dig into ways you can make these parts of your body stronger / less tight / etc. The couch stretch is something that nearly everyone needs these days, it might be a good warmup before attempting the shrimps to help loosen your legs up.
I'm happy to discuss anything with you or why I feel one way or another about something, or what might consist of a well thought out and implemented routine for x or y or z. I'm maybe an intermediate in much of this stuff (3-5k hours of total practice, much less in any single skill), so I come in with a bias of where I am at myself too.
) All of them government jobs because that is where my niche is and it is not about the money anymore. I am seeking lower stress and better benefits. Pay cut can be up to 30%. Anymore cut then that and my Spouse will think I've gone crazy. I can at least justify not too much of a cut. The ones I applied for are remote and have flex-schedule (meaning 4 10s or 4 9s with every other Friday off). 
for me that sometimes the best way to deal with stress is to just remove the stressor. I am sometimes a glutton for punishment and I will go to great lengths to not feel like a quitter - but I'm thinking this mentality in itself can be toxic...I am trying to come to terms with it and take solace in what I've achieved so far but I'm at my mental limits. And honestly, I think in a theoretical world where I could take a year off and come back to the same responsibilities - I would be fine. But this has been a multi-year thing that I think has really added up and I 've to do what is best for my mental health. 
In any case, whenever I let her know about so and so job I just applied for - the only response I get is "okay what is the salary?" 
It is true though - I am an actual consultant and I never once had to elaborate on what that is exactly haha.