7Wannabe5 wrote: ↑Sun Jun 28, 2020 10:11 am
@c_L@bigato: From my perspective, Alphaville seemed to be engaging the voice of a therapist/coach/journalist who does not yet know me very well.
yes! thank you... this is a relief for me because it signals that we have communication. then i forget that not everyone reading this is you, so at times fail to take insurance for the audience.
anyway, i’m just learning about your story and trying to learn from it and understand what works/ doesn’t work/ etc.
i DO express concern when i find cause for it, because i’m not a panglossian, i’ve had my share of personal catastrophes, and i know a lot of
people who died (great song, hahaha).
also i’m not ashamed of trying to be helpful to people if i spot a problem. i mean, i come here for constructive criticism, not for validation, and to “stress test” ideas. e.g see my apple thread where i asked people to tear up my plan? a criticized plan is a good plan. confirmation bias is problematic—damaging, even.
7Wannabe5 wrote: ↑Sun Jun 28, 2020 10:11 am
However, I did share a bit of your sense of "Why is he assuming that I am likely to feel like The Little Matchstick Girl?" but it didn't faze me. I am in the habit of self-examination, so just took it as opportunity to question myself.
i tend to say what i think, and i am a terible diplomat, so a therapist once told me that i was “a nightmare for insecure women.”
but i never took you for an insecure person, because you share so freely and thoughtfully and without fear. so there’s that, and i’m glad i was right about you, and i’m happy to clear the misunderstanding.
anyway, the reason i thought of possible destitution is that in one of your other posts (remember the “i pay for my bitches” post? that one, or an adjacent one) you said the bf told you he didn’t mind paying because he didn’t want you to be in the street, or something along those lines.
so, while now it looks like that was a rhetorical expression on his part, the lack of context/not knowing you enough led me to believe that you might actually be at risk of homelessness. thanks for understanding this.
and not “were” but “might,” see? anyway, i’m glad you’re not, and i’m glad i asked.
since i don’t live in the best of all possible worlds, i actually have a friend who almost ended up homeless recently, so for me it’s not like these things don’t happen to anyone. she had a boyfriend who refused to take his meds and got into all sorts of trouble and almost dragged her into that... lifestyle? she’s now safe with family, away from the creep, and has a decent job, thank fuck. (and btw, audience take note, my friend is a divorced middle aged woman, not some runaway teen.)
anyway, speaking of sharing, i feel this exchange is a bit unbalanced because i don’t share as much as you do. but this is the open internet, so i don’t feel so comfortable with the confessional mode, especially when misreadings abound.
maybe some day i’ll tell you my own story as the recipient of matronage in my hedonist boho days, hahahaha. it started like great fun but didn’t end well. the artist residence with nookie included became a web of lies, the no strings became strings, and the life saving medicine became poison. eventually i managed to escape, which was a good end to that adventure, but i’ll leave the details for another day.
i’ll reply to the rest of your post later. thanks for the good conversation!