I am new to ERE, still in the middle of the book and have been reading the forums these past two weeks for a few minutes a day.
I am a father of two year old triplets (two boys and a girl). They have many therapeutic needs right now as they were born under two pounds and have significant development issues to this point.
My wife is a stay at home mother and NOT at all on board with ERE yet, though I plan to continue talking her through this as I implement the steps for my own finances. I honestly feel like a human ATM at times and my children have every comfort imaginable.
I am 38, and actually had my primary home paid off at age 36. And I had six other rental units that, while still not paid off, were bringing in rents of approximately $2500 a month. There are offsetting expenses with that, which I will detail.
When we had the triplets, we felt our 750 square foot home was too small, and a rash of break-ins/ vandals on the street had us thinking that the neighborhood was going down hill plus you need to wear Kevlar if you want to attend public school there, so last October, we upgraded to a much bigger home in a suburb of Buffalo, NY (lots of snow so forget bicycles six months of the year) and we have a $129,500 mortgage leftover as of this writing. I pay the mortgage bi-weekly, $575 which includes Taxes and Homeowners Insurance.
To be clear, my wife will NOT let us move back to the old house, nor any other house for that matter. She is convinced this is the house she wants to live in till the kids move out in a couple of decades. It was not a good conversation when I broached ERE topic with her.
We are currently renting the home we vacated and splitting the rental income with her brother. That brings total monthly rental income of all the properties to $2700.
I am sure if I can show a significant amount of increased savings, decreased debt to zero, and show a passive income stream that takes care of everything and more, she’ll be on board. I just think that I have more of an uphill battle than some of the other stories I read here.
To each their own…we must walk our own path from where we stand now, not from where someone else is standing.
I do NOT want to continue to be a landlord…at least not for all of the properties. On this, my wife and I agree. Too much worry in addition to the kids and everything else going on. In my ERE scenario, I will keep one of the four rental homes, and I have the specific one in mind which currently generates just under a thousand a month in rents. Yearly taxes on that property are around $1400 ($117 a month), Hazard Insurance is $750/year ($62.50 a month) and quarterly bills for Water and Garbage average out to about $65 a month.
I used to be able to ride my bike to work when I was in the other home, which was only 5 miles away from work. I now live 22 miles from work, and there are no buses that will take me to work, nor no one I know of that I could car pool with.
On the plus side, I work from home two days per week and there is every indication that this may increase to three or more days per week by 2013 as the bank I work for goes into serious restructure and consolidation and is encouraging more work from home, where it makes sense. I am a compliance office who makes just under 100k a year. If I add rental income in, then I make about 132k. I broached selling my long ago paid off car, and she did not like that idea at all, even in an ERE scenario. She’s convinced that it would be logistically nightmarish when the triplets get to school age and get involved with separate activities.
My wife just started a bootstrap small business this month, selling women’s purses or organizational stuff like giant bags. She already has four parties booked this month and expects to bring in a three hundred a month conservatively.
I blog and write books as my passion. All my previous books are off the market now, but I will have one on Meditation coming out in October, self-published on my blog, likely as an ebook only to start. Given how new this present blog is (Aug 31) I’d be lucky to make a hundred dollars a month for the next several months at that. The goal is that this income helps move the snowball in the right direction for ERE and that it may end up I continue to do this to supplement ERE if I still enjoy it several years from now.
This entry is getting very long so I will break it here...
Harmonica Charlie's ERE Journal
-
Harmonica Charlie
- Posts: 14
- Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 7:28 pm
- Contact:
My major debts are as follows:
Credit Card (groan…just shoot me now) = around $13,000 (will have exact figures when I post in October for September).
Auto Minivan (we do have triplets after all) = $16,500 (can’t get exact number because BofA won’t let me enroll the loan on their online banking
Rental House #1 Mortgage = $20,045 (duplex that gets $665 in monthly rents)
Rental House #2 Mortgage (This is the one I want to keep) - $49,094 (duplex that gets $975 in monthly rents)
Rental House #3 Mortgage = $54,418 (duplex that gets $810 in monthly rents)
Primary Residence Mortgage = $129,500
In the Spring of 2012 I’d like to put Rental Houses 1 and 3 on the market to simplify my responsibilities a fair bit. Property #1 I think I can get like $30-35,000 for. House is in good shape but it is a depressed area. House #3, I don’t think I can get more than $45,000 for but I honestly haven’t researched the Comps in the area. I bought House 1 for $43,000 in 2003 and House 3 in 2003 with no money down for $62,100…poor decisions but now I must live with them.
My wife is on board with tracking our spending this month, at least, and for the foreseeable future. I think she is okay with cutting back on some things but not if it drastically effects her day to day living. For example, for 10 years I’ve been trying to get us to cancel cable. She won’t have it, saying she’s home alone with the kids all day and needs the background noise.
I’ve not altered our spending behavior yet as I don’t have a picture of what we are doing. That’s why we are tracking this month. There were some oddball incomes and outgo’s already. We had to take a distribution on a beneficiary IRA and we put that money immediately on a credit card. We paid for a preschool program for the kids a couple of days a week (I know, I’m sure there will be a fair number of detractors here on that decision but again, the wife wanted that). She’s of the mind that she wants our children to have an affluent upbringing that she didn’t have where as I had an affluent upbringing and want to simplify and ERE. It leads to a lot of arguments as I often feel like a human ATM.
Obviously we’ll have to come to a compromise or this will be an impossible situation.
What I am bracing everyone for is that when I post my September numbers you’ll see a large amount of income and a large amount of outgo…and I am expecting to get my head handed to me on the boards here for that. Perhaps that is what I need. And think of the fun you guys will have deconstructing my mistakes!
I’ve set my aim in September already to put all leftover income at the one credit card so it will look like I’ve spent 100% of my income for September. I suspect that the next six months or so will be the same type of thing…throw everything at the credit cards.
Our big worry about ERE is health insurance for the kids and it is my wife’s primary argument against Early retirement. She is very fearful for the future in general. I work for a company that has publicly vowed to cut 30K jobs in the next 2 years and it seems to be indiscriminate who gets the ax so far. For me, that is all the more reason to get my arse in gear NOW and move toward ERE.
They (my kids) are considered disabled due to their low birth weight and they receive numerous in home therapies (Speech, Physical, Occupational, Special Ed). Right now this is all covered 100% with work Health Insurance (golden handcuffs). I don’t even know if I can get insured privately when I’ll need it and New York State is highway robbery with insurance and taxes.
Credit Card (groan…just shoot me now) = around $13,000 (will have exact figures when I post in October for September).
Auto Minivan (we do have triplets after all) = $16,500 (can’t get exact number because BofA won’t let me enroll the loan on their online banking
Rental House #1 Mortgage = $20,045 (duplex that gets $665 in monthly rents)
Rental House #2 Mortgage (This is the one I want to keep) - $49,094 (duplex that gets $975 in monthly rents)
Rental House #3 Mortgage = $54,418 (duplex that gets $810 in monthly rents)
Primary Residence Mortgage = $129,500
In the Spring of 2012 I’d like to put Rental Houses 1 and 3 on the market to simplify my responsibilities a fair bit. Property #1 I think I can get like $30-35,000 for. House is in good shape but it is a depressed area. House #3, I don’t think I can get more than $45,000 for but I honestly haven’t researched the Comps in the area. I bought House 1 for $43,000 in 2003 and House 3 in 2003 with no money down for $62,100…poor decisions but now I must live with them.
My wife is on board with tracking our spending this month, at least, and for the foreseeable future. I think she is okay with cutting back on some things but not if it drastically effects her day to day living. For example, for 10 years I’ve been trying to get us to cancel cable. She won’t have it, saying she’s home alone with the kids all day and needs the background noise.
I’ve not altered our spending behavior yet as I don’t have a picture of what we are doing. That’s why we are tracking this month. There were some oddball incomes and outgo’s already. We had to take a distribution on a beneficiary IRA and we put that money immediately on a credit card. We paid for a preschool program for the kids a couple of days a week (I know, I’m sure there will be a fair number of detractors here on that decision but again, the wife wanted that). She’s of the mind that she wants our children to have an affluent upbringing that she didn’t have where as I had an affluent upbringing and want to simplify and ERE. It leads to a lot of arguments as I often feel like a human ATM.
Obviously we’ll have to come to a compromise or this will be an impossible situation.
What I am bracing everyone for is that when I post my September numbers you’ll see a large amount of income and a large amount of outgo…and I am expecting to get my head handed to me on the boards here for that. Perhaps that is what I need. And think of the fun you guys will have deconstructing my mistakes!
I’ve set my aim in September already to put all leftover income at the one credit card so it will look like I’ve spent 100% of my income for September. I suspect that the next six months or so will be the same type of thing…throw everything at the credit cards.
Our big worry about ERE is health insurance for the kids and it is my wife’s primary argument against Early retirement. She is very fearful for the future in general. I work for a company that has publicly vowed to cut 30K jobs in the next 2 years and it seems to be indiscriminate who gets the ax so far. For me, that is all the more reason to get my arse in gear NOW and move toward ERE.
They (my kids) are considered disabled due to their low birth weight and they receive numerous in home therapies (Speech, Physical, Occupational, Special Ed). Right now this is all covered 100% with work Health Insurance (golden handcuffs). I don’t even know if I can get insured privately when I’ll need it and New York State is highway robbery with insurance and taxes.
-
Harmonica Charlie
- Posts: 14
- Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 7:28 pm
- Contact:
Ok, I babbled a lot in the first two posts, sorry. It was quite the brain dump but I am still missing some key pieces of information to share, which I hope to flesh out.
I am still looking at ways at increasing income and may start a part time SEO Writer side-business as I have a well-developed gift for writing quickly (and occasionally making sense).
And once I have my numbers in for all of October, I will start cutting. I can already see two weeks in that I have a nasty habit of buying books and harmonica gear. So if I put the kabash on those, I will already save a couple of hundred a month off my outgoing money.
I am still looking at ways at increasing income and may start a part time SEO Writer side-business as I have a well-developed gift for writing quickly (and occasionally making sense).
And once I have my numbers in for all of October, I will start cutting. I can already see two weeks in that I have a nasty habit of buying books and harmonica gear. So if I put the kabash on those, I will already save a couple of hundred a month off my outgoing money.
-
LiquidSapphire
- Posts: 510
- Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2011 6:40 pm
Hi, welcome.
Sounds like you have an uphill battle but you can certainly make it happen with the right attitude and adjustments. It seems to me your biggest struggle will be getting your wife on board.
I can't remember what financial blog I read it on (GRS?) but the author had persuaded his wife to give up cable by doing a trial for 6 months and promising that ANY TV show she wanted that wasn't on Cable she could go buy via iTunes. Turns out they didn't buy that many and they were able to save money this way, so they kept the cable shut off. You could also spring for a Netflix membership with streaming, I have it and enjoy it lots. Hulu Plus has a lot of followers too. You could also try DVDswap or buying used on Amazon for TV shows, etc. I haven't looked at this options but worth a shot.
Good luck!
Sounds like you have an uphill battle but you can certainly make it happen with the right attitude and adjustments. It seems to me your biggest struggle will be getting your wife on board.
I can't remember what financial blog I read it on (GRS?) but the author had persuaded his wife to give up cable by doing a trial for 6 months and promising that ANY TV show she wanted that wasn't on Cable she could go buy via iTunes. Turns out they didn't buy that many and they were able to save money this way, so they kept the cable shut off. You could also spring for a Netflix membership with streaming, I have it and enjoy it lots. Hulu Plus has a lot of followers too. You could also try DVDswap or buying used on Amazon for TV shows, etc. I haven't looked at this options but worth a shot.
Good luck!
-
Harmonica Charlie
- Posts: 14
- Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 7:28 pm
- Contact:
@Jacob one book I now give away for free on my new blog to entice subscribers. I also wrote a poetry book via Lulu and I pulled it down because I screwed up the cover by making edits. I plan on taking some of those poems and add them to a new compilation that is more in line with me as an adult father.
-
jennypenny
- Posts: 6910
- Joined: Sun Jul 03, 2011 2:20 pm
Re: health insurance for kids-- the law now guarantees that you can get coverage for them but there is no cap on cost so it can be very high. Our state (like most) has a childrens health insurance program for low income families. In our state, once your child is diagnosed with a "catastrophic" illness they are eligible for the plan regardless of the family's income level. This is administered by the welfare dept in our state. You can apply even if you are currently covered by an employer- sponsored plan. I hope this is available to you.
My husband doesn't want to retire because he has the same fears as your wife. He wants to wait until our son is 18 and could be covered by Medicare if he is disabled.
My husband doesn't want to retire because he has the same fears as your wife. He wants to wait until our son is 18 and could be covered by Medicare if he is disabled.
-
George the original one
- Posts: 5406
- Joined: Wed Jul 28, 2010 3:28 am
- Location: Wettest corner of Orygun
I can't help but think having a management company take on the rentals would free you of stress while still delivering most of the income...
Do not fight the wife on the house. It's not a fight you'd ever win and only brings resentment. That's not a terrible mortgage to have, so it should be an easy concession.
Some habits should be shifted, refined. That's where your big savings will likely come from.
Do not fight the wife on the house. It's not a fight you'd ever win and only brings resentment. That's not a terrible mortgage to have, so it should be an easy concession.
Some habits should be shifted, refined. That's where your big savings will likely come from.
Your household's combination of a single wage income, looming layoffs, and inflexible expenses seems like a red-alert, five alarm emergency to me. It's time to spring into action!
I'm just a stranger on the Internet but your introduction makes it sound like your wife has veto power over all these decisions. I think you guys are going to get better at making compromises. Relationships don't seem to be very durable when one person gets their way all the time.
That said, from your wife's perspective you're proposing radical lifestyle changes all of a sudden, so it's not surprising that she's skeptical.
The bootstrap business seems like a good idea but I'm not a fan of party-based sales. IMO those programs kind of trick people, generally economically vulnerable women, into underestimating their entrepreneurial potential. I wonder if your wife could take on a more ambitious business. Maybe she could run the rental houses as an incorporated business?
I'm just a stranger on the Internet but your introduction makes it sound like your wife has veto power over all these decisions. I think you guys are going to get better at making compromises. Relationships don't seem to be very durable when one person gets their way all the time.
That said, from your wife's perspective you're proposing radical lifestyle changes all of a sudden, so it's not surprising that she's skeptical.
The bootstrap business seems like a good idea but I'm not a fan of party-based sales. IMO those programs kind of trick people, generally economically vulnerable women, into underestimating their entrepreneurial potential. I wonder if your wife could take on a more ambitious business. Maybe she could run the rental houses as an incorporated business?
Hi Charlie
Welcome! I think you'll find that the community is very welcoming and helpful!
RE: Real estates, I understand they are a lot of work, however, it appears that you are in a cash flow positive $50 per month situation, am I right? Based on the millionaire next door series most quiet affluent types either make their $ in real estates or store their wealth there. I also think that if you can refinance to lower rates (rates are at historic lows, but I am sure you already know that from your job) and make them even more cash flow positive that will help you reach FI sooner. And once you are FI, you have time to tend to the houses. Also, agree with Kevin, your wife can do some management work too.
RE: spouse
Don't listen to these intj engineer types tell you about women
Your wife will obviously take some adjustments, but if I were her I would feel that I already have 18 years of triple full time work cut out for me, therefore you are not having the easy way out! I guess if you can show how a reduction in spending can help all 5 of you (by being an example first by just cutting your own expenses), I am sure she will be on board very soon.
I had an extremely thrifty dad and a spendy mom growing up, so I understand there will be some friction in the household.
Oh, being appreciative of your wife daily will do wonders (say thank you, hugs...).
Welcome! I think you'll find that the community is very welcoming and helpful!
RE: Real estates, I understand they are a lot of work, however, it appears that you are in a cash flow positive $50 per month situation, am I right? Based on the millionaire next door series most quiet affluent types either make their $ in real estates or store their wealth there. I also think that if you can refinance to lower rates (rates are at historic lows, but I am sure you already know that from your job) and make them even more cash flow positive that will help you reach FI sooner. And once you are FI, you have time to tend to the houses. Also, agree with Kevin, your wife can do some management work too.
RE: spouse
Don't listen to these intj engineer types tell you about women
Your wife will obviously take some adjustments, but if I were her I would feel that I already have 18 years of triple full time work cut out for me, therefore you are not having the easy way out! I guess if you can show how a reduction in spending can help all 5 of you (by being an example first by just cutting your own expenses), I am sure she will be on board very soon. I had an extremely thrifty dad and a spendy mom growing up, so I understand there will be some friction in the household.
Oh, being appreciative of your wife daily will do wonders (say thank you, hugs...).
You guys sound like you are under a lot of stress, and no wonder with the kids and all. ERE probably sounds crazy to your wife right now, and both of you are likely to be short on the sleep end, which only magnifies things. We have 3 kids, too, but did not have them all at once. But even one at a time caused many sleepless nights for both of us.
Whatever you decide to do, you both need to be on board. Money issues are the #1 conflict point in marriages.
I would just focus on tracking your spending with your wife for a couple months. Then you can sit down together and decide the best approach. Attacking the debts and reducing the interest rates may be the first order of business. And selling the houses like you planned.
You also may want to consider separating your bank accounts. My wife and I have always had separate, but linked joint bank accounts (no secrets). When she was working full-time, she would pay certain bills (kids clothes, food, etc.) and I would take care of other ones (mortgage, utilities, etc.). When she stopped working, we kept the accounts separate and I started paying her twice a month. The reason this is important is because it would allow you to save in your own accounts even if she doesn't. And it will force both of you to budget or face the embarrassment of having to ask the other to bail you out. Peer pressure on who's the most responsible with money.
You will get a lot of good advice here, but mostly about finances and not about women. I learn something new here almost every day.
But take your time. These decisions and your path are much different when you have dependents. Best of luck to you, Dad.
Whatever you decide to do, you both need to be on board. Money issues are the #1 conflict point in marriages.
I would just focus on tracking your spending with your wife for a couple months. Then you can sit down together and decide the best approach. Attacking the debts and reducing the interest rates may be the first order of business. And selling the houses like you planned.
You also may want to consider separating your bank accounts. My wife and I have always had separate, but linked joint bank accounts (no secrets). When she was working full-time, she would pay certain bills (kids clothes, food, etc.) and I would take care of other ones (mortgage, utilities, etc.). When she stopped working, we kept the accounts separate and I started paying her twice a month. The reason this is important is because it would allow you to save in your own accounts even if she doesn't. And it will force both of you to budget or face the embarrassment of having to ask the other to bail you out. Peer pressure on who's the most responsible with money.
You will get a lot of good advice here, but mostly about finances and not about women. I learn something new here almost every day.
But take your time. These decisions and your path are much different when you have dependents. Best of luck to you, Dad.
-
George the original one
- Posts: 5406
- Joined: Wed Jul 28, 2010 3:28 am
- Location: Wettest corner of Orygun
I'm thinking the best way to win your wife over to ERE is by showing her how much income the family can have if you save hard for the next 5 years while the kids are less of a financial drain.
Then, when the 5 years are up, she'll be used to a lower spending level and you can lead into the next stage. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"
Right now, you both need to discuss the possibility of job loss and the need for having a cash fund to tide you over. After all, she doesn't want to lose the current house and that is a credible possibility if you are laid off.
Then, when the 5 years are up, she'll be used to a lower spending level and you can lead into the next stage. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"
Right now, you both need to discuss the possibility of job loss and the need for having a cash fund to tide you over. After all, she doesn't want to lose the current house and that is a credible possibility if you are laid off.
Maybe your wife can't believe ERE is really a long term option? In that case, slowly cutting expenses will show the effect bit by bit. Maybe this could convince her.
If it is about feeling overwelmed by the care of the kids she should realize that less working hours for you on the job is less 'working hours' for her with the kids and household. If you don't have to work full time you could help out with the kids and relieve that pressure a bit.
I sure hope it is not really about the big house AND the cable AND the car AND... etc. because really, it is about living a good life with each other right? All the rest is just... stuff. Good luck on your path!
If it is about feeling overwelmed by the care of the kids she should realize that less working hours for you on the job is less 'working hours' for her with the kids and household. If you don't have to work full time you could help out with the kids and relieve that pressure a bit.
I sure hope it is not really about the big house AND the cable AND the car AND... etc. because really, it is about living a good life with each other right? All the rest is just... stuff. Good luck on your path!
-
Harmonica Charlie
- Posts: 14
- Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 7:28 pm
- Contact:
Lots of terrific responses so far, thank you very much. Almost three weeks into tracking our spending and I am realizing that the giant gaping hole in our spending is me. I spend because I'm generally unhappy day to day. So I spend a lot on escapes, or new plans, like books, music gear, and various marketing training for Internet Businesses. If I can control these three areas for me, I think we are much better along to our goal. So it comes down to me being the example that I want to see in my small world (my family). Part of my problem is probably boredom. I cannot remember the last time I went out and just had a beer with the guys...three, four years, maybe? We had a rough pregnancy leading up to their birth, and I'm not particularly social to begin with, so I think I start blowing my money in other ways because something is unhappy inside of me.
@KevinW - I see your point about the party business but I think it's a matter of time. Raising triplets is enormously time consuming, especially at the age they are at. So quite literally, she has an hour a day, during nap, to market and put thru orders. At night, I have an hour to write and do my small business. She seems very happy with it, except for feeling guilty about having to leave the kids for a couple hours to do a party. They are only this small once and it is such a joy to watch them grow and figure things out. I am amazed at the number of parties she's been able to book over the next two months. She is instantly more profitable than all the money I pour into my blog and SEO Copywriting business.
@George the Original One (is there an impostor George?) - Job loss is on our minds a lot. My wife knows that I would like to become a writer and work for myself and I think that's part of the reason she's started this business, to help pay off debt and offset some of the income hit we may take should I leave or get RIF'd. Until I can show the ability to make money with my side business the conversation is moot because there is no realistic alternative to my day job right now.
I like the idea of breaking things up into five year plans, George, thank you. As I said above, controlling my inability to delay instant gratification is foremost.
I would not stop "working" per se, when I reached ERE. I would write non-fiction and fiction books, because that is what I love. I would do small gigs with a band or solo. These are creative outlets. The philosophical question is, if I love these things so much, why wait till ERE?
@Dragline, interesting perspective on the separate accounts. She maintains a separate account for her business, but we hadn't considered separating again with the personal accounts. I wonder if she would trust the process. She seems to keep a keen eye on what I spend, and with good reason considering the hole I've caused with Gear Acquisition Syndrome.
@bluepearl, I think our cashflow is even better than that. With $2700 a month coming in and only approximately $1500 going out in mortgages and a couple hundred more for quarterly bills, we actually are in an ideal rental area. I just don't want to do it anymore. My wife doesn't want to talk to tenants at all and I'm just way too nice for this business. I also feel weird about bringing in a Management company right now because some of the tenants work in my day job Company and they may be insulted by that or they may still bother me with stuff. I haven't raised rents in 9 years and my rents are way below the market. IF you are including our home mortage in that as well, then I am more inclined to agree.
Can you see my personality so far? I can...I'm very wishy-washy which is why I'm in this mess.
@jennypenny - yes I've learned more about health insurance in the last week or so by talking to other parents. I guess there is a Healthy Child NY plan as well which is very affordable. Not sure what we'd do for the wife and I, though, but I have some time to figure it out.
I think tracking our spending and controling my spending urges are the two things to concentrate on over the next couple of months.
Thanks again, everyone,
- Charlie
@KevinW - I see your point about the party business but I think it's a matter of time. Raising triplets is enormously time consuming, especially at the age they are at. So quite literally, she has an hour a day, during nap, to market and put thru orders. At night, I have an hour to write and do my small business. She seems very happy with it, except for feeling guilty about having to leave the kids for a couple hours to do a party. They are only this small once and it is such a joy to watch them grow and figure things out. I am amazed at the number of parties she's been able to book over the next two months. She is instantly more profitable than all the money I pour into my blog and SEO Copywriting business.
@George the Original One (is there an impostor George?) - Job loss is on our minds a lot. My wife knows that I would like to become a writer and work for myself and I think that's part of the reason she's started this business, to help pay off debt and offset some of the income hit we may take should I leave or get RIF'd. Until I can show the ability to make money with my side business the conversation is moot because there is no realistic alternative to my day job right now.
I like the idea of breaking things up into five year plans, George, thank you. As I said above, controlling my inability to delay instant gratification is foremost.
I would not stop "working" per se, when I reached ERE. I would write non-fiction and fiction books, because that is what I love. I would do small gigs with a band or solo. These are creative outlets. The philosophical question is, if I love these things so much, why wait till ERE?
@Dragline, interesting perspective on the separate accounts. She maintains a separate account for her business, but we hadn't considered separating again with the personal accounts. I wonder if she would trust the process. She seems to keep a keen eye on what I spend, and with good reason considering the hole I've caused with Gear Acquisition Syndrome.
@bluepearl, I think our cashflow is even better than that. With $2700 a month coming in and only approximately $1500 going out in mortgages and a couple hundred more for quarterly bills, we actually are in an ideal rental area. I just don't want to do it anymore. My wife doesn't want to talk to tenants at all and I'm just way too nice for this business. I also feel weird about bringing in a Management company right now because some of the tenants work in my day job Company and they may be insulted by that or they may still bother me with stuff. I haven't raised rents in 9 years and my rents are way below the market. IF you are including our home mortage in that as well, then I am more inclined to agree.
Can you see my personality so far? I can...I'm very wishy-washy which is why I'm in this mess.
@jennypenny - yes I've learned more about health insurance in the last week or so by talking to other parents. I guess there is a Healthy Child NY plan as well which is very affordable. Not sure what we'd do for the wife and I, though, but I have some time to figure it out.
I think tracking our spending and controling my spending urges are the two things to concentrate on over the next couple of months.
Thanks again, everyone,
- Charlie
-
Harmonica Charlie
- Posts: 14
- Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 7:28 pm
- Contact:
Also, I think I have to switch gears for October and start funding an emergency fund, instead of throwing all the money at the credit cards. I know that I have a couple of necessary repairs to the rental properties to make before winter, chief among them is some damage to the driveway concrete caused by big ole' tree roots over time. It's a major danger if those spots get covered in snow before they are fixed.
I don't have the money in Savings to cover this and repairs to doors caused by wind damage and the glass block windows I've been promising another tenant for the basement.
- Charlie
I don't have the money in Savings to cover this and repairs to doors caused by wind damage and the glass block windows I've been promising another tenant for the basement.
- Charlie
Hey Harmonica Charlie, everyone here as already given you great advice with regards to your relationship with your wife. Only thing I can say is that I can only imagine what it's like for your wife taking care of THREE babies. THREE!!!
I'm an aunt to (hyperactive) twins. I remember spending days and weekends with them, helping mom out when they were infants/toddlers. Even a simple outing to the grocery store or park was a huge mission and *I* came home drained, so mum must have been completely wiped. Having twins isn't double the work, it's probably more than that, so much respect to your wife (and you;) for triplets.
You took a very important first step by analyzing your income and outflows to realize the savings could start with you.
Good luck, keep it up and remember, convincing your wife will probably take baby steps.
I'm an aunt to (hyperactive) twins. I remember spending days and weekends with them, helping mom out when they were infants/toddlers. Even a simple outing to the grocery store or park was a huge mission and *I* came home drained, so mum must have been completely wiped. Having twins isn't double the work, it's probably more than that, so much respect to your wife (and you;) for triplets.
You took a very important first step by analyzing your income and outflows to realize the savings could start with you.
Good luck, keep it up and remember, convincing your wife will probably take baby steps.
-
George the original one
- Posts: 5406
- Joined: Wed Jul 28, 2010 3:28 am
- Location: Wettest corner of Orygun
> @George the Original One (is there an impostor George?)
Before the forum, I would post as "George" in the comments. Then I started reading posts by "George" that sounded like something I'd write, but I didn't remember writing them.
Finally, after about 4 or 5 episodes of memory blankness, it dawned on me that there were two of us writing as "George"... so I switched to "George the original one" and he caught on to the joke, switching to "George the other one" and then Jacob created the forum, so we kept our identities.
"the other one" is younger and more hip than I am.
Now there's a third person on the forum known simply as "George" or "george".
Before the forum, I would post as "George" in the comments. Then I started reading posts by "George" that sounded like something I'd write, but I didn't remember writing them.
Finally, after about 4 or 5 episodes of memory blankness, it dawned on me that there were two of us writing as "George"... so I switched to "George the original one" and he caught on to the joke, switching to "George the other one" and then Jacob created the forum, so we kept our identities.
"the other one" is younger and more hip than I am.
Now there's a third person on the forum known simply as "George" or "george".
Charlie, my first suggestion would be regarding the cable. Have you thought about an over-the-air antenna? We basically never had cable, once we married (30 years now) Mostly my wife's idea, but we have saved thousand$.
Just using rabbit ears we receive all the major networks (abc, cbs, nbc, fox, pbs). Combined with Netflix & some youtube/hulu, I don't feel that we are missing much. You can look at a site like tvfool.com to see what your prospects are. Perhaps you can even pull in a canadian station for more variety.
I guess my other thought is to just enjoy the triplets and try to track expenses for now.
Just using rabbit ears we receive all the major networks (abc, cbs, nbc, fox, pbs). Combined with Netflix & some youtube/hulu, I don't feel that we are missing much. You can look at a site like tvfool.com to see what your prospects are. Perhaps you can even pull in a canadian station for more variety.
I guess my other thought is to just enjoy the triplets and try to track expenses for now.
@Harmonica Charlie
Bravo! From "I honestly feel like a human ATM at times" to "it comes down to me being the example that I want to see in my small world (my family)" in a week I see an remarkable level of self reflection, your family's road to ERE will be smoother than you expect!
@George the Original One
Hmmm... I didn't know about this alias story... keep calling you George when you commented on my post, will be more specific down the road...
Bravo! From "I honestly feel like a human ATM at times" to "it comes down to me being the example that I want to see in my small world (my family)" in a week I see an remarkable level of self reflection, your family's road to ERE will be smoother than you expect!
@George the Original One
Hmmm... I didn't know about this alias story... keep calling you George when you commented on my post, will be more specific down the road...
-
ZAForumite
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2011 11:00 am
Hi Charlie
So it was your post above that made me take the step from lurker to contributor!
I can identify with a lot of myself in your response about the properties. I'm your stereotypical nice guy, and I spent my high school, University, and beginning of my working career being taken advantage of. Eventually, I realised that this was not only hugely self destructive to me, but that it lessened my ability to make a real impact on the world, and to help the people I really wanted to help. I was dropping things such as volunteering and charitable contributions because I couldn't say "no" to people in other areas of my life. Eventually, something had to give.
I made 2010 "the year of no" - I stuck this on my monitor at work, and remembered it every time someone asked me for a favour. Instead of a default "yes, sure, why not", my default became "no". I would then need to either persuade myself that it was a good idea, and really the best thing I could be doing, or the individual would have to try and persuade me. I learnt a few things:
1. Often, the cost to me of helping was much higher than the cost to the individual of me not helping. Before, I had a fear of people being crushed by life if I didn't help them out - now, I realised that many people are taking a flyer and asking because you might say yes.
2. By saying no that often, I built up the time and space in my life to say yes to the things that really mattered, and to be able to help out people in a powerful and meaningful way.
I would suggest to you that you hold onto those properties - if you can pay a couple hundred dollars additional in every month, you will start paying down your mortgages surprisingly quickly. And then approach each of your tenants, one on one - tell them how much you appreciate them having rented from you, that you want to maintain the relationship, but that because of family responsibilities you can't manage the properties yourself. Also, tell them that you are under major financial pressure and that the rent will need to start slowly escalating towards market related rates. 99% of people out there will respond graciously and understandingly to this - sure, they will still call you occasionally, but most of those calls you will be able to simply pass on to the managing agents. And the few cases where you do have to be involved (because the management company has dropped the ball) will be much less of a stress. And the 1% of people who respond poorly to this, well, to be honest they are jackasses and you shouldn't sacrifice your own dreams and financial goals in order to subsidise their rentals!
One more thing - remember, by giving these people a subsidised rental you doing one of two things - either reinforcing their own bad habits and allowing them to live above their means, or you are subsidising their own savings. Neither of these are a good thing!
Good luck with your journey and goals - while it's a tough situation you are in because of your kids medical needs, it's not an insurmountable one.
So it was your post above that made me take the step from lurker to contributor!
I can identify with a lot of myself in your response about the properties. I'm your stereotypical nice guy, and I spent my high school, University, and beginning of my working career being taken advantage of. Eventually, I realised that this was not only hugely self destructive to me, but that it lessened my ability to make a real impact on the world, and to help the people I really wanted to help. I was dropping things such as volunteering and charitable contributions because I couldn't say "no" to people in other areas of my life. Eventually, something had to give.
I made 2010 "the year of no" - I stuck this on my monitor at work, and remembered it every time someone asked me for a favour. Instead of a default "yes, sure, why not", my default became "no". I would then need to either persuade myself that it was a good idea, and really the best thing I could be doing, or the individual would have to try and persuade me. I learnt a few things:
1. Often, the cost to me of helping was much higher than the cost to the individual of me not helping. Before, I had a fear of people being crushed by life if I didn't help them out - now, I realised that many people are taking a flyer and asking because you might say yes.
2. By saying no that often, I built up the time and space in my life to say yes to the things that really mattered, and to be able to help out people in a powerful and meaningful way.
I would suggest to you that you hold onto those properties - if you can pay a couple hundred dollars additional in every month, you will start paying down your mortgages surprisingly quickly. And then approach each of your tenants, one on one - tell them how much you appreciate them having rented from you, that you want to maintain the relationship, but that because of family responsibilities you can't manage the properties yourself. Also, tell them that you are under major financial pressure and that the rent will need to start slowly escalating towards market related rates. 99% of people out there will respond graciously and understandingly to this - sure, they will still call you occasionally, but most of those calls you will be able to simply pass on to the managing agents. And the few cases where you do have to be involved (because the management company has dropped the ball) will be much less of a stress. And the 1% of people who respond poorly to this, well, to be honest they are jackasses and you shouldn't sacrifice your own dreams and financial goals in order to subsidise their rentals!
One more thing - remember, by giving these people a subsidised rental you doing one of two things - either reinforcing their own bad habits and allowing them to live above their means, or you are subsidising their own savings. Neither of these are a good thing!
Good luck with your journey and goals - while it's a tough situation you are in because of your kids medical needs, it's not an insurmountable one.