My aims in keeping this journal include: clarifying what we are doing, making contact with other people who are also living ERE-style, and being open to receiving useful feedback and advice.
I hesitated to start a journal here, as I felt I might not qualify, since I'm not young, and have left it too late to build up a big portfolio. But after reading through various posts and journals, I see there's a range of people and lifestyles, so hopefully I won't be disqualified!
It seems useful to write a little life history. Apologies, I've tried to keep it short, but failed: I'm an introvert. Growing up, my only ambition was to get married and have children. I was always interested in science at school, and did well, so was encouraged to train as a doctor. I almost studied biochemistry instead, as I could see myself working quietly in a lab, but eventually opted for medicine, partly in the hope that it would cure my shyness! I struggled with the course but finished it, to keep my options open. Once qualified, I forgot about the other options, got married, got a mortgage and bought a house, hated my job as a junior hospital doctor, because I constantly worried and dreamed about making a mistake and the risk of accidentally killing a patient.
After working for 3 years, my mental health was suffering, and after a mini breakdown, I resigned and left medicine altogether. My husband supported me and I loved bringing up our children. I worked part time summarising patient records. When my children were 1 and 5 the marriage broke up. We seperated fairly amicably, and each walked away with a lump sum which meant that my mortgage when I bought my own house was small. My ex stayed involved in our boys' upbringing and contributed financially.
I continued to work part time. I was into retail for a few years, selling children's clothes first at parties, and then from a shop. It didn't make much profit, so I closed it and became employed at a doctors' practice. I was earning far less than I did as a doctor, but it was worth it for a less stressful life. At first I was summarising patient records, then over the years I took on an administrative role. Eventually I had more responsibilities, and had to be more involved in the endless meetings and bureaucratic craziness of the NHS. It got increasingly stressful. I wanted to leave, but needed to earn money and couldn't see any good alternatives.
Financially I thought I was in reasonable shape. I have always avoided getting into debt, and I was lucky that I studied at a time when tuituon fees were subsidised by the government, so had no student debt. I didn't earn a lot, but managed to saved a little, largely due to the generosity of my parents, who paid off my mortgage when I was hospitalised briefly and diagnosed with bipolar type 1. I'm embarrassed to admit that they still give me money at birthdays and Christmas, which makes a large contribution to my savings.
I met my DH in 2012. It is a very good supportive relationship. He works at a carpet manufacturing company. He moved in with me a year later, which meant that he was reliant on me for a lift to work (12 miles away) every morning, because he doesn't drive, is a nervous cyclist, and his shifts are too early for there to be a bus service. This was intended to be a temporary arrangement. Three years later, he was still reluctant to look for more local work, we didn't really want to relocate, and I was feeling a lot of resentment about the situation.
By this point I had got heavily into the search for enlightenment, and did a lot of meditating. I now realise that the type of enlightenment I hoped for probably doesn't exist: perpetual peace and happiness. But I was going for it. I was willing to risk just about everything for it. I was less interested in my work, which was now unbearably stressful. I wanted to leave my job, but was afraid that a decision to resign would be seen a a sign of mental illness, and result in me being hospitalised again.
Things came to a head when one day I found myself telling my DH that I would no longer drive him to work. He had to get up very early to run the 12 miles there, and get a bus home in the afternoon. I was in a bad state mentally, with lots of fear and guilt, little concentration, a poor memory and frequent crying episodes. I told my boss I needed to take sick leave. I ended up fleeing to a christian retreat centre on top of a hill nearby. (I'm not a christian) I felt safe there, like nobody could find me and lock me up. I kept my phone on silent and emailed in my resignation letter.
We ended up renting a cottage near the retreat centre for six months. It gave me space to recover. I started driving DH to work again most days. I redecorated our old house, and we sold it and bought a house closer to DH's work. That was three years ago. The plan was that I would find a different part time job. I did get offered a job as a support worker, then the offer was withdrawn when my reference was checked, because of all the sick leave I had taken.
We then realised that with DH walking to work, and a fairly simple lifestyle, we were managing comfortably with just his income. My mental health is much better without me going to work, and he is happy enough to be the provider. Since I'm at home I'm able to spend some time learning to grow vegetables, baking bread, and finding more ways to be frugal. We don't have an expensive lifestyle. We don't take holidays, we don't buy a lot of new things, and very rarely eat out.
I love my lifestyle now. I thought I would need to earn money again at some point, but now that doesn't look to be the case. I could get used to the idea of being retired. Some days I don't do much. Other times I get involved in a project and am very busy. I am coming to the end of a year long photography course, A Year With My Camera. I did a woodwork course, and have built planters and a couple of basic pieces of furniture. I spent a while being obsessed with geodesic domes. Eventually I built a geodesic arbour in our garden. It's a great place to sit out, read, watch or photograph birds, whatever the weather.
For me, the freedom to do whatever I like with my time is priceless. DH has the same outlook. He wants to retire, or change to part time work, as soon as possible. We would both rather live very frugally in retirement than work to fund a more luxurious lifestyle.
I'm no longer on a spiritual path looking for enlightenment. I was lucky enough to meet someone who showed me who I really am. (For anyone interested, Salvadore Poe's inquiries and experiments are all in his book Liberation Is: The End of The Spiritual Path.) I'm not the story of my life, thankfully. Knowing that I'm just aware here, now, has brought a lot of peace. I don't feel bad about the past and I don't worry about the future.
Looking back on the retreat/cottage time, it was financially costly, but useful. Apart from the difficulty of DH getting to work, we loved living there. It's only a mile from the village we had lived in, but very quiet with panoramic views over open countryside. Great for walking, relaxing, reflecting, and for DH's running. We want to move back there when he retires, and downsize.
I look after our finances, and have been tracking our spending for some time. We have very modest amounts saved and invested, no mortgage and no debts. We will be due to collect our state pensions from age 67, as things stand. My small NHS pension is payable from age 60, and DH's pension will provide a small lump sum whenever he retires, as he is already 55. In 2023 I'm due a payment from an endowment policy which was originally taken out to pay off my mortgage.
I had worked out that DH could retire in about 5 years. But since reading the ERE book I have revised the timing to less than 2 years. For the last 4 months we've been "paying ourselves first" putting money into a savings acount, and are managing well spending less. I have done a spreadsheet, and calculate we can live on £10 000 per year. Or $12 900. We have decided to give it a trial run from January, for 3-6 months. If we can live on this amount, DH can stop work in July 2021 and we will have enough money to live on until our state pensions start. We can then live on them (total around £14 500) plus a small amount of NHS pension.
I'm a little nervous at the idea of taking the plunge. Because there are no guarantees. The state pension age is planned to go up, though it's unlikely to affect us now. State pensions could pay less. We could have large unexpected bills. How will it be to have DH around all day every day? Also my figures might be deluded!
I think this is the right thing for us though. DH is open to working part time anyway, and I will probably run through the figures with an independent financial advisor. If you've read this far, thank you
Any input is welcome.
