$0 ... some things are cheaper for me due to being in a relationship (such as shared housing) and so I use the savings from that compromise on things I wouldn't have if I was single (such as shared car and shared dog).
What is the price of your relationship?
But Jacob, I think TX is asking how much does it cost if your partner is not contributing to shared expenses or contributing much less than you. In this case it can be costly.
TX, I think you need to come to terms if you are willing to sacrifice that much cost, in order stay in the relationship. Either make a cost sharing agreement you can live with, or else your resentment will build up.
I am paying more now than I would be if I were single, but in a few years that will likely be reversed (due to my earning less, and she earning more down the road)
TX, I think you need to come to terms if you are willing to sacrifice that much cost, in order stay in the relationship. Either make a cost sharing agreement you can live with, or else your resentment will build up.
I am paying more now than I would be if I were single, but in a few years that will likely be reversed (due to my earning less, and she earning more down the road)
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George the original one
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It's complex. I have a wife and 2 kids, none of whom directly contribute financially. However...
- I have more money saved because there were 4 years pre-kids where my wife worked and we saved at a very high rate. That now pays dividends (literally).
- My wife does all the cooking, cleaning, and most of our life organizing. This frees my time to earn side incomes, and increase my salary at my current job
- If I didn't have a wife and kids, my social activities would likely be more (eating out with friends, playing organized sports, buying expensive gear, etc)
But here's the real answer. Once you have the right relationship, you have to forget the cost and instead consider the price you're willing to pay. If that price is infinite, then the cost is moot.
- I have more money saved because there were 4 years pre-kids where my wife worked and we saved at a very high rate. That now pays dividends (literally).
- My wife does all the cooking, cleaning, and most of our life organizing. This frees my time to earn side incomes, and increase my salary at my current job
- If I didn't have a wife and kids, my social activities would likely be more (eating out with friends, playing organized sports, buying expensive gear, etc)
But here's the real answer. Once you have the right relationship, you have to forget the cost and instead consider the price you're willing to pay. If that price is infinite, then the cost is moot.
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jacob
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@JasonR - Economics isn't really about math. It just happens that math can be used because money has numbers printed on it.
It's really about values and preferences which are entirely subjective. Money is just a representation of those values. To go on a general tangent, money is often treated as a tangible quantity like bolts, nails, or pounds of flour. However, that money is more accurately equivalent to the life-energy of some person. So I'd compare the life-energy costs (subjective) to the life-energy gains (subjective) of the relationship. This is subjective value judgment. It's often done subconsciously on the level of "do I like being with this person". When I've broken up with someone in the past, it's never been black and white but more of a "the negatives now outweigh the positives and I see no way of changing it".
It's unfortunate that the word "price" was used. A better way to put it is the "cost of your relationship".
It's really about values and preferences which are entirely subjective. Money is just a representation of those values. To go on a general tangent, money is often treated as a tangible quantity like bolts, nails, or pounds of flour. However, that money is more accurately equivalent to the life-energy of some person. So I'd compare the life-energy costs (subjective) to the life-energy gains (subjective) of the relationship. This is subjective value judgment. It's often done subconsciously on the level of "do I like being with this person". When I've broken up with someone in the past, it's never been black and white but more of a "the negatives now outweigh the positives and I see no way of changing it".
It's unfortunate that the word "price" was used. A better way to put it is the "cost of your relationship".
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AnneBentham
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@TX: What is it that costs more in your current relationship? Do you live together? My only suggestion is to be honest and make adjustments in your current relationship or find someone more suited to your lifestyle. Compatible needs and goals are right up there with love and communication. Otherwise, what's the point?
By being married to me, my partner is in a lower tax bracket and some tax credits that would otherwise be wasted on me (since I have no on-the-books income) can be fully utilized by filing jointly. And I save a lot of his money that would be spent on quick solutions, expensive meals and the like because he doesn't have much time to deal with everything outside of work. So for him, being alone would end up costing more.
By being married to me, my partner is in a lower tax bracket and some tax credits that would otherwise be wasted on me (since I have no on-the-books income) can be fully utilized by filing jointly. And I save a lot of his money that would be spent on quick solutions, expensive meals and the like because he doesn't have much time to deal with everything outside of work. So for him, being alone would end up costing more.
Mr. Money Mustache on this topic;
How much is that bitch costin’ ya?
http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2011/09/ ... costin-ya/
How much is that bitch costin’ ya?
http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2011/09/ ... costin-ya/
Perhaps the issue is that the numbers don't work, i.e. she isn't 36-25-34 
I used to have an "I'm not supporting anyone" attitude. Post FI, that didn't matter anymore, and I realized in my situation the attitude was built on an unhealthy scarcity mentality. I have enough to support myself and my wife. The end
If I were to analyze the numbers, in actuality it is probably a net win. We pay less in tax being married, we eat at home more often, etc...
I used to have an "I'm not supporting anyone" attitude. Post FI, that didn't matter anymore, and I realized in my situation the attitude was built on an unhealthy scarcity mentality. I have enough to support myself and my wife. The end
If I were to analyze the numbers, in actuality it is probably a net win. We pay less in tax being married, we eat at home more often, etc...
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LiquidSapphire
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The decisions I have made in my current relationship with my BF have a direct and noticable negative impact on my ability to save, primarily with regards to housing and food costs.
I decided that my relationship with my BF was more important than reaching ERE early. I did not want to be the person that would dump someone I loved just because they were an obstacle or got in the way of my ERE. He has a lot of debt too, which I would probably help him pay off if we ever got married. I love him that much and marriage means that much to me. We are "one" and all that.
If you don't feel that way, I'd end it.
I decided that my relationship with my BF was more important than reaching ERE early. I did not want to be the person that would dump someone I loved just because they were an obstacle or got in the way of my ERE. He has a lot of debt too, which I would probably help him pay off if we ever got married. I love him that much and marriage means that much to me. We are "one" and all that.
If you don't feel that way, I'd end it.