Halfmoon's journal

Where are you and where are you going?
7Wannabe5
Posts: 6865
Joined: Fri Oct 18, 2013 9:03 am

Re: Halfmoon's journal

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

Welcome back !

Riggerjack
Posts: 2994
Joined: Thu Jul 14, 2011 3:09 am

Re: Halfmoon's journal

Post by Riggerjack »

Good to see activity here, again. I missed you, halfmoon.

Fish
Posts: 550
Joined: Sun Jun 12, 2016 9:09 am

Re: Halfmoon's journal

Post by Fish »

Welcome back halfmoon! So glad to have you back with us. :D

halfmoon
Posts: 698
Joined: Mon Nov 07, 2016 10:19 pm

Re: Halfmoon's journal

Post by halfmoon »

Thank you everyone for the kind words after my shocking neglect. ;) I just spent close to an hour writing an update of our life over the past 1.5 years, and it somehow vaporized...just all disappeared, and I was asked to log in again. :shock: I think I'll have to try again tomorrow.

theanimal
Posts: 1625
Joined: Fri Jan 25, 2013 10:05 pm
Location: AK
Contact:

Re: Halfmoon's journal

Post by theanimal »

If you press the back button you can find the text that vanished. It is an annoying feature though.

Jason

Re: Halfmoon's journal

Post by Jason »

This is like discovering a trove of unreleased videos by your favorite vintage porn star.

Welcome back, Halfmoon.

Mister Imperceptible
Posts: 1444
Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2017 4:18 pm

Re: Halfmoon's journal

Post by Mister Imperceptible »

If you have a computer, write your post in Word or
Wordpad and paste over the text when complete.

If using a smart phone, write your post using “Notes” app if using iPhone or other such app.

DutchGirl
Posts: 1280
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2011 1:49 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Re: Halfmoon's journal

Post by DutchGirl »

Welcome back. I also want to read lots more. :)

And yes, the automatic logouts are annoying.
If you use the Full editor & Preview button, you can save the draft as you go.

But yeah, even then you might find that you forgot to hit the "save draft" button... :shock:

(NB I was a tutor for a student recently who didn't know a lot about computers. The first time he saved over a previous document and lost a page of text (and 2 hours of struggling), he was so annoyed with himself. Yeah, buddy... I know, I know! )

suomalainen
Posts: 750
Joined: Sat Oct 18, 2014 12:49 pm

Re: Halfmoon's journal

Post by suomalainen »

I ctrl-a, ctrl-c (or command-a/ command-c, or select all / copy or whatever your os has) before I hit the submit button, having lost a post or two. Back button sometimes works. Anyway, welcome back halfmoon. Hope all is well with you and your dh.

halfmoon
Posts: 698
Joined: Mon Nov 07, 2016 10:19 pm

Re: Halfmoon's journal

Post by halfmoon »

Jason wrote:
Thu Oct 17, 2019 4:32 am
This is like discovering a trove of unreleased videos by your favorite vintage porn star.

Welcome back, Halfmoon.
All of the welcoming posts made me smile, but this one made me laugh out loud. :lol:

halfmoon
Posts: 698
Joined: Mon Nov 07, 2016 10:19 pm

Re: Halfmoon's journal

Post by halfmoon »

Thanks to everyone for the suggestions for not losing a post when I hit Edit. I did try going back, but it was gone for good. This time I’m writing in Word and will copy over when done. Be warned: below lies a bunch of whining, then excessive bragging about what a bad-ass I am.

CATCHING UP ON THE PRESENT


I had to go back and read some of my last posts to figure out what was going on when I dropped off the edge of ERE earth. Time tends to run together, and we adapt to current reality. It’s a little bittersweet to see that DH was on the upswing a year and a half ago. Not so much now. He’s not usually in pain, but he struggles daily with the long-term effects of radiation damage. I could go on at great length and won’t; suffice to say that he’s habitually dizzy, almost can’t eat and many days can barely drag himself out of a chair to walk slowly around outside using trekking poles for balance. He exists on oatmeal, soup and protein drinks. I do almost everything that needs to be done inside and outside.

For me, it’s been a process of acceptance and adaptation. I feel such sympathy for what DH has lost, but I also went through a process of grieving for what I had lost (otherwise known as feeling sorry for myself). No more trips to Seattle together to walk around the city and eat in Chinatown; no more travel of any kind; no more restaurants, hiking, or outdoor projects together. We can’t even share a good meal at home and drink a glass of wine. I’m quite certain that these limitations won’t change.

Over time, though, something happened. I became frustrated with the deferred maintenance on our house and property, and I started to do something about it. At the end of last winter, I put DH on notice that having our decaying 10’x36’ porch replaced was an absolute priority for me. This is something we talked about doing for years, but of course we wanted to do it ourselves…and no longer could. DH put up a lot of objections but finally agreed on the grounds that I handle the entire process of getting bids and dealing with the carpenter. I did so. I also cleaned all the crap off the old porch, tore it down (DH helped some on good days), removed the nails and stacked the wood, dug out all of the rocks around the foundation and replaced them with paver stones, sanded and painted everything, hauled dirt in by the wheelbarrow load, spread gravel, etc. The project included enclosing half of the porch for a mud room/sitting area and constructing a wheelchair ramp, but the carpenter did those things.
This took place over the course of spring and summer 2019. At the same time, I maintained our gardens and berry patches, climbed up on ladders and pruned huge branches of trees that had gotten out of hand, mowed, cleared brush, split firewood, walked the dogs, and minimally took care of the housekeeping (an abysmally low priority for me). And I built a wall. :D

Image

It’s not a big wall. Definitely not as impressive as the ones DH built years ago with the tractor and nice angular rocks salvaged from timber company roads around us. This wall involved just a shovel, rake, my muscles and wheelbarrow loads of misshapen rocks dug from our own property. I’m proud of it, though. More importantly, I rediscovered (because this is my 3rd rock project) that I LOVE building stone walls. It’s absolutely addictive. I would wake up every morning with my arms and shoulders aching, and I couldn’t wait to get back outside to play in the rocks and dirt.

This particular wall started because DH wanted his precious wolfberry (Goji) bushes to be planted out into the ground instead of spending another winter in pots. We don’t have a lot of places on our tree-covered property that get sun, and this slope was about the only sunny spot without other things already crowded into it. That’s a fig tree in the middle, and the rest was a big pile of compacted dirt left from excavation of our pond spillway about 35 years ago. Over time, canary grass (my deep-rooted nemesis) colonized the area. We talked many times about using the tractor to move the dirt pile, but it’s really too tight a space for the tractor to move around…especially after we planted the fig. :roll: It’s one of those things that hangs over you and gets put off endlessly - like the porch. I finally decided to just get a shovel and start digging. DH said: “You can’t move that hill by hand. It’s impossible.” That of course was a direct challenge.

Anyway. The hill is only about half gone, and I think I’ll have to finish that next year because the ground gets too muddy in winter. On the right is an earthen ramp for driving the lawnmower up eventually. Since this photo, the wolfberry bushes have been planted across the front, and I’ve begun digging a drainage ditch at the base because the earthen dam has always piped pond water through at this spot. I’m thinking hard about putting another wall along the back, below that little topless greenhouse made from old windows. :twisted:

It’s a strange outcome. Our life has changed, as life does. I can’t reverse DH’s suffering and decline despite my most fervent wishes, but I’ve found a new direction (or rediscovered an old one) for myself that benefits us both. I can honestly say I’m fulfilled.

Now that I’m up to date, I’ll return to the past for my next post. 8-)

7Wannabe5
Posts: 6865
Joined: Fri Oct 18, 2013 9:03 am

Re: Halfmoon's journal

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

I love the wall. I bought and sold a little book on the topic of building a stone wall many times during my rare book-dealer career. In theory, I now have been granted free reign over a quarter acre of my BF's woods for permaculture type projects. I am willing to bet that reality will significantly differ :roll:

It's hard to find (or be) a good partner. Count yourself lucky.

halfmoon
Posts: 698
Joined: Mon Nov 07, 2016 10:19 pm

Re: Halfmoon's journal

Post by halfmoon »

7Wb5, you're a rockstar in my mind...so thank you for the kind words. I do count myself very lucky. Crazy lucky, really.

halfmoon
Posts: 698
Joined: Mon Nov 07, 2016 10:19 pm

Re: Halfmoon's journal

Post by halfmoon »

I want to insert a revelation quickly here, because I feel the pressure to not keep posting periodically and bumping my journal. :?

Today was a rainy one, which deprived me of outdoor accomplishment and forced me to face my Fear of Cleaning. Things are insanely dust-infested chez nous, so I decided to attack. As usual, the dialog with DH went like this:

Me: How do you feel about the wooden snakes on the windowsill?
DH: What?
Me: Wooden snakes. "gestures"
DH: Don't give away my snakes!
Me: I'm not suggesting giving them away. Maybe moving them upstairs where they can collect dust peacefully.
DH: That's okay. Give them away. I don't need anything any more.

I retreated to my office. After a bit of office winnowing, I had the aforementioned revelation and went back to talk with DH. The reason that I love working outdoors and dread housework? The outdoors is my province. If things are in my way, I can remove them. The house is a quagmire of crap.

halfmoon
Posts: 698
Joined: Mon Nov 07, 2016 10:19 pm

Re: Halfmoon's journal

Post by halfmoon »

ffj wrote:
Fri Oct 18, 2019 9:50 pm
The wall looks like it perfectly fits there. That's not always easily accomplished, so my compliments to you. Nice work.
High praise indeed from you, ffj. Thank you!

saving-10-years
Posts: 553
Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2013 9:37 am
Location: Warwickshire, UK

Re: Halfmoon's journal

Post by saving-10-years »

Welcome back. Thank you for updating us and for a recent picture (neat wall). Looking forward to more stories and pictures from the archives please. You have been most definitely been missed.

Fish
Posts: 550
Joined: Sun Jun 12, 2016 9:09 am

Re: Halfmoon's journal

Post by Fish »

halfmoon wrote:
Fri Oct 18, 2019 12:09 pm
DH said: “You can’t move that hill by hand. It’s impossible.” That of course was a direct challenge.
Halfmoon, I love your attitude! And that’s not the first time that has happened in this journal. Too often “impossible” is interpreted as permission to give up. But once you’ve experienced the thrill of defying impossible, you’re hooked and become a lifetime member of the agency club. I’m about 50/50 in my attempts to disprove impossible and now I’m wondering whether my wife taunts me with that word so I will get stuff done around the house. ;)

The wall looks great! Well done. :)

McTrex
Posts: 163
Joined: Fri Jul 23, 2010 9:35 am
Location: NL

Re: Halfmoon's journal

Post by McTrex »

Badass as usual! :) So glad to have you back, we were worried about you and DH. I’m so sorry what you and DH have to go through, wishing you all the best!

anesde
Posts: 194
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2019 8:32 am

Re: Halfmoon's journal

Post by anesde »

I just blitzed through your entire journal over the last couple of days. It’s truly an incredible story, written with exquisite style. You have lived a full life that many will only dream of. Thanks for being an inspiration.

halfmoon
Posts: 698
Joined: Mon Nov 07, 2016 10:19 pm

Re: Halfmoon's journal

Post by halfmoon »

I just wrote replies to everyone's comments, and they vaporized. Is it my computer (possible), my lameness (utterly probable), or has this site gotten more difficult?

Anyway...I love what everyone wrote, both familiar voices and new ones. Thank you, and now onward to the past. ;)

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN

Just to reiterate: DH and I were seeking utter isolation when we moved to our mountain property in 1992. The fact that a state forest road ran through the 40 acres should possibly have concerned us more than it did, but the whole place was so geographically isolated. Our property was literally on the edge of private land, buffered by at least 100 miles of public land to the west (state forest, national forest and national park), Canadian wilderness to the north and national forest to the south.

Of course there is that pesky “public” aspect. I already talked about the cattle grazers, but hunters also had their day. Our first deer season experience occurred mid-October on opening weekend. A procession of trucks began early Saturday morning, crawling slowly along the road through our property looking for a stray deer to shoot from their vehicle. The local term was 'road hunter'. Although shooting from the road was prohibited (and doubly illegal on private property), this was standard procedure for many. I was amazed to see one pickup with lawn chairs lining the bed carrying hunters with rifles trained on all sides. I remember thinking that it looked like something from Nicaragua.

Sad to say, some hunters took just the hindquarters and left the rest of the animal. If it didn’t have an impressive antler rack, some would leave it for wildlife (or our dogs) and move on in hopes of killing a trophy buck. The dogs retrieved a lot of smaller antlers, and DH made knife handles from them.

The deer hunting pressure eased somewhat over time, both because the deer population diminished for various reasons and because hunting became less popular. Grouse hunting continued to flourish. In later years (and to the present), we’ve had a supremely territorial friend/caretaker living in a cabin on our property. He’s a bit rabid about chasing hunters off the private land. He once heard a shot on our place and rushed up to confront a hunter who had shot a grouse on our property. Friend is a bit territorial and was outraged. He demanded to see the man’s hunting license and driver’s license, wrote down all info, told him off and confiscated the grouse :shock: Keep in mind that friend was a skinny, unarmed guy confronting a man with a shotgun.

The very cool thing is that we now have moose on our place (piles of poop all over, including between the house and outhouse!
Photos of our property: the road and meadow below.

Image

Image

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