Best places to fly to on the weekend? (assuming lodging = friends & flights = Frontier)

[TopHatFox]

I'd like to do some research on different places to live in. I have about 2 weeks of vacation and will have 2 more by summer. I'm thinking the best way to do it is to read up on different places in the US and then visit them on long weekends while staying at friends houses there. I'm trying to keep the trips under $200/ea, Frontier being a big part of that. Next step is to figure out what places to visit. I'm thinking places close to FL first, like GA, SC, NC.

Is this an errand in wasting money, or is it worthwhile if I plan to move somewhere that fits me better in 2 yrs? Another thought I have is I'm super close to the Caribbean, so it could be a cheap way to check out some other countries. One of my favorite hobbies atm is perusing Google Maps.

[jennypenny]

"All his life has he looked away … to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was."

Start those meds yet?

[TopHatFox]

Nope, but I should.

Let's be real here Jenny, my present is doing expense reports and authorizing shit on Excel, just like it would be at most other office jobs. Can you blame me for looking to something else? I feel like I'm way more present when hiking or cuddling, cause those are objectively nice and exciting things.

[jennypenny]

Of course not. My point is that you'll always have stupid shit to do everyday ... that's life. I've had an ideal ERE-ish life, yet I still had to clean toilets, wash up dirty kids, fix broken things, etc. ERE doesn't magically remove life's drudgery, only hands you the reins to it. Learn how to fit the good stuff into your day around the boring stuff.

[TopHatFox]

Yeah, I hear you. If you have any suggestions, I'm happy to listen. I've already added a standing desk, decorations, a small heater, music (JonWayne, jamz), interesting co-workers, an academic environment, and tea/coffee. After work, I have classes, video games, Netflix, more decorations, indoor rock climbing once a week, books, podcasts, and the occasional weekend trip to someplace new.

And...still not that easy to be present. It could be because for 8-10 hrs/day, I'm doing stuff that's just okay? I was definitely a lot more present in college compared to now, so maybe there's something to that. Maybe I'll find out more if I travel more

[jennypenny]

https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/ ... -patients/ (make sure you read part 2)

[prognastat]

I don't really have any recommendations for locations, but I doubt a long weekend is enough toget real insight into a new location.

[TopHatFox]

Probably not yeah. The alternative is to pick just one place for 2 weeks, but that means less places. I have thought of just getting by by reading and using Google Maps, but that's even worse I think. The goal is mostly just to establish context of a place, like the different major cities/towns in the US.

[daylen]

What do you do with this contextual information?

[TopHatFox]

Move there if it's a good fit after the MA. Don't move there if it's not and understand more about the world. Also casually mention "when I was in XYZ place" as a status marker.

[prognastat]

Well there's a few things you can at least do to limit your options left.
- Is there a particular kind of weather/climate you prefer? You can use this to cross off a lot of places.
- If you are still working or planning to do some kind of work is this industry thriving in the location you would be moving to?
- Are you looking for HCOL or LCOL locations?
- If you want to live around people that have similar politics to yourself then does the area conform to your political leanings?
- Do you have particular hobbies that are common in the area and might lead to building friendships?

Questions such as these might allow you to limit your options and spend more time testing out each option that is left.

Or you could do what C40 did and convert a van and slow travel the US checking out places once FIRE has been achieved.

[theanimal]

I am over fifty years old and have attended my fair share of sixtieth, seventieth and eightieth birthday parties. In case you are younger than me and have not yet celebrated so many birthdays of high, round figures, I can tell you that the most common remark heard at these parties is: "All of those days that came and went--I didn't realize those were life." It is cunnignly formulated. The guests nod knowingly, smacking their lips. Yes, we fear death to varying degrees, but the fear of not having lived is even stronger. That fear increases towards the end of life, when you understand that it will soon be too late. You are the one who is going to decide whether you will nod at the words or shake your head in disagreement

from Silence by Erling Kagge

Jenny's counsel is wise. It doesn't mean you have to resign yourself to misery though. Find out how to make the best of your life now and be as present as you can. I was in a similar situation after school where I lived a year at my mom's in Illinois working a bottom rung construction job. I didn't have a social life and wanted to be in AK hiking/packrafting. Circumstances dictated that wouldn't be the case until the following year. I did the best I could to enjoy the area and found a huge forest preserve a few miles away I never knew about. It wasn't Alaskan wilderness but I found (and still do) joy in those woods. Florida isn't ideal now. Good. You can work on being creative and coming up with ideas to make it a good place for you NOW.

[EdithKeeler]

I’ve lived a lot of different places. Some by choice, some because work took me there. I’m a bit cynical, I suppose, but except for weather, most places in the US are more similar than not. Everyplace tends to have the same or similar stores, restaurants, etc. some cities have bad traffic, but you can figure out workarounds. Most larger cities have some kinds of sports teams if you’re into it. Most places have access to outdoor activities of some type—maybe biking here, hiking there, skiiing yonder. Generally the ratio of men to women is roughly the same. Some places have more “culture” like professional ballet or opera; places that don’t usually have other stuff going on.

I figured out that you can be happy anywhere or miserable anywhere. It all depends on you.

“Bloom where you’re planted”

[TopHatFox]

@Edith, I agree and disagree that you can be happy anywhere or miserable anywhere. Yeah, I mean, you can be happy anywhere, but you have to work a lot more at it in some places than others.

For example, if I were to move to a roach-infested apartment complex in the ghettos of Harlem, I would probably be pretty miserable really quick. Instead, if I were to move to a small, eco-conscious hippy commune in Utah, I'd probably be much happier without expending much effort. I'm afraid I have yet to travel enough to know which places are good besides in generalities.

The ways to make Miami make me happy is what I did when I was kid, video games. There are only so many climbing groups and the standard here is for ppl to not socialize on a sustained basis.

[daylen]

There is definitely a big difference in how sensitive certain people are to their environment. This is related to Fi versus Fe. Fe-dominate types absorb the mood of their environment.

[jennypenny]

@Edith, I agree and disagree that you can be happy anywhere or miserable anywhere.

viewtopic.php?f=13&t=6396


edited to add: THF--I hope you don't think we're all trying to chap your ass. We're trying to help. Really ... you're in Miami, you have a job and an opportunity to attend grad school for free, you have your health, your family has some financial blind spots but they aren't shooting up or destitute ... I don't think the barrier to happiness is external.

[daylen]

It has taken me a while to realize this. Fi is my worst function, so it is hard for me to judge value for myself. I am developing my Fe, and this tells me what to do based on how it effects others. I started absorbing the depressive mood of adolescent teenagers when I tried to teach high school in a rural district.. not fun.

In a city, there are probably more options to cut that stuff out, but I am still not sure to what degree I can change this.

[TopHatFox]

@ Jenny, I know, I appreciate the suggestions. I'm just making the argument that I think it's external to some degree. For example, now I'm doing pretty alright every day. In NYC, I was doing downright terrible. I was employed there too, but the job and culture were different. I can only fathom what another positive skip in place could do. I really think humans are affected by their environments more than we think, or at least I am.

[daylen]

It will get better overtime, but I think there will always be an opportunity cost in trying to shape an incompatible environment to yourself (especially if you are predisposed to use Fe more than Fi). I think maturity guards against this by expanding your worldview and diversifying this mood absorption effect. Video games and studying have served as defense mechanisms for me in this regard.

[EdithKeeler]

@Edith, I agree and disagree that you can be happy anywhere or miserable anywhere. Yeah, I mean, you can be happy anywhere, but you have to work a lot more at it in some places than others.

For example, if I were to move to a roach-infested apartment complex in the ghettos of Harlem, I would probably be pretty miserable really quick. Instead, if I were to move to a small, eco-conscious hippy commune in Utah, I'd probably be much happier without expending much effort. I'm afraid I have yet to travel enough to know which places are good besides in generalities.

Maybe. Everyone’s different, of course, but if you were in love, had a ton of friends, work that you liked, you may not be so unhappy in your roach-infested hovel.

By the same token, you might get fed up with pretentious hippie stuff after a while and decide you’d like to play a violent video game and eat a big rare steak without judgment. (I’m just assuming these hippies are anti violence vegetarians ).

I think, based on your posts, that you’re just kind of unhappy right now, and lonely. You MIGHT change your geography and change... or you might not. It’s a hard adjustment from college. You’re used to being around the same kind of people, you don’t have a lot of responsibilities, and it’s easy to hang out and hook up. It seems like you think there’s a certain “type” of person/people you want to be with (hippie commune?) but the fact is, people mostly aren’t so simple that they can be typed easily (despite what the MBTI lovers believe—sorry guys! ) and interesting people can be found everywhere if you open yourself up to meeting them.

There’s a thing in Alcoholic Anonymous that talks about the Geographic Cure. Ie—the idea that you can escape your problems and issues by moving somewhere new and starting over. I’ve tried it, not from an alcoholic standpoint, but I thought moving would get rid of what i thought were my issues. It really doesn’t work if you’re still the same person. You gotta work on yourself FIRST, because “no matter where you go, there you are.”