I am only O.K. at acquiring sexual partners/ girlfriends, but I am very good at making friends and maintaining longterm friendships. The key to longterm friendship, particularly long distance friendship is, 1) some sort of roladex with viable current contact information, facebook is ideal for this because it usually gives you some idea where someone lives. and 2) hit them up when you are going to be in their area. Then follow through on the plans to hang out. That's pretty much it. Texting them when you see something that makes you think of them helps, but it's not totally necessary.
This holds for friendships and relationships. That's why I don't think talking about it like some sort of market really works. I have friends I almost exclusively take from and friends who almost exclusively take from me. My minimum requirement for friendship is that you are interesting or useful to me in some way. If you are a taker you must do so in a particular way which allows me to erect boundaries that are respected whether you know they are there or not.7Wannabe5 wrote: ↑Sat Dec 01, 2018 6:29 amI think that maybe you are suffering from some false notion that social relationships work on a very even-handed tit-for-tat one-to-one basis. If you call somebody then they should call you back within X hours, and if you were the one to extend an invitation last week, then they should extend an invitation this week, etc. etc. This is only rarely true. Generally, one individual has to take the lead until force of habit is established. So, in the situation of school or work, it is the administration or ownership who takes on the responsibility of extending invitation, thereby establishing the basis for relationship of convenience.
Given the choice between working for pay and hanging out with some people you genuinely enjoy who you won't be friends with in a year, would you really chose working? I've always felt we endure the former to enjoy the latter.