A family father's path through life

[Family father]

@GDP, @SWB,

Thanks!!

Right now I am in hyper-space: life doesn't have hours enough to let me do a tenth of what I'd like..

I heard "Rich dad poor dad" and had a few interesting ideas... but writing them is one of the things I didn't have time to do..

It's ok, I'll re-listen to it in the future.

Right now I'm reading a book called "The mulligan" by Wally Armstrong and Ken Blanchard, which seems a bit forced (very Blanchard style?), but again with interesting ideas (I decided that reading what I have at home before looking anywhere else is very zen-wise both in waste control and mind flexibility))

I decided to write them here (even if it's by parts) so I don't forget them

The book says golf reflects life, and thus states a few things about golf you're supposed to translate into your life:

- There's also a moment in which one character tells the other: "you're not good enough to get that mad" after he gets mad for missing a putt.. he then realizes he doesn't practice enough and yet he expected outstanding performance every shot.

- If your scoring system is about wining and the opinion of others, you'll miss out on what the game is about: having fun, building relationships, and enjoying the environment.

- If your self-worth is a function of performance and the opinion of others, and neither of these are predictable, then your self worth is up for grabs everyday.

- There are only three rules in golf: don't hurt anyone, don't hold anyone up and don't hurt the environment. Once you know those rules, you have rented the hole.

- You never own golf, you just borrow it. Just when you think you have it, you don't. Just when you think you don't, you do. (life's a bit like this, ain't it?)

It also has a sentence that I liked: the problem with being in a rat race is that even if you win, you are still a rat

Finally, it also suggests a way to "journal": at the end of everyday, praise yourself for the things you've done well, things that made you feel good about yourself because they were consistent with what you wanted to accomplish or whom you wanted to be in the world.

After that, create a section entitled "redirection", with the things you wish you could do over. And then accept your mistakes and forgive yourself (as you are by those who love you).

And that's it by now...

[Family father]

I don't seem to know how to write short posts..

Almost one hour went by, and one left for the next baby's feeding bottle..

[Family father]

Just finished the book, and I must admit it IS a preaching book

Anyway, it holds some interesting thoughts:

- Enter your day slowly: sit quietly and relaxed, stretch, have a quiet talk to yourself, listen and then lay down your concerns and visualize yourself walking through a perfect day. And if you do exercice, it should not be an achievement game.

- The past can explain the present, but it should never be an excuse for the future.

- Not everything depends on us: the toughest test to self-esteem is to give up control. Think and plan, but then accept: what needs to happen will happen. Enter the execution phase relaxed.

- Rank your values: sometimes you can't do two values at the same time.

- Develop a NATO (Not Attached To Outcome) attitude towards golf and life.

And it also states that visualization is so important because our mind doesn't cross check information, it just tries to follow the instructions we give it.

Enough for today: feeding bottle time

[Family father]

Last weekly objectives were:

- 10 minutes before heading home to reflect on work at the end of every day
- A little meditation (>=5 min) 2 days
- Exercice: at least 3 times a day one minute of push-ups (or equivalent) for 2 days?
- Declutter bedside table papers or some other stuff
- Finish reading Epictetus Enchiridion or writing notes for older son

Truth is it was four weeks ago, and I have done nothing...

OTOH, with all the sleep deprivation and adjustment we are undergoing it's probably not the best time to start new habits, but to focus on not loosing many of the good ones already achieved..

Reviewing the objectives for 2018

Financials:

-Reshape tracking sheet to make it simpler and more acurate in the main numbers (done)
-Routinely track expenses weekly to improve data quality (done and not lost )
-Zero spending in clothing (ok so far)
-Reduce transportation costs to job (ran the numbers and tried two different routes: one proved not good, but the other may work some days in the morning (not in the afternoon). I'll stay like this for a few more weeks and we'll see what comes out of it)
- Stop eating out alone (work lunch) (I indulged one or two days: it shouldn't be hard to come again)
- Decide about investing vs landlording (inflation effects, real costs/profits of index investing in spain, when/what to do when the market is hot?...) working on it, but a lot to do yet...

DIY:
-Learn to patch socks (done and repeated: now I'll need to upgrade my skills
-Make a light box w/older son (Just changed from the piece of furniture)
-Learn to cook more take away meals (paused right now: DW is on leave and cooks)

Mind/Health:
-Exercise once (ideally twice) a week: not yet.. it won't be easy
- Read more books-thinking stuff and less junk-news (with smartphones and Internet (and children :_) I've dropped from more than 50 books per year to almost none!!!) (done: read a book last week... I must struggle with no phone at home and reduce junk-news)
- Allocate time to think and write something every 2 or 3 days (thoughts, messages for my kids in the future...) hard to do now, but I don't want to quit..
- Reduce eating of processed food (I must look after some of the things I eat at home: family's diet is quite healthy but it often doesn't leave me satiated, so then I indulge myself with Nutella and Spicy Chorizo... )

Next week:

I like the "entering your day slowly" in Mulligan's book, so I'll try to fit it in.

- Develop a "slow start up routine"
- Exercice: at least 3 times a day one minute of push-ups (or equivalent) for 2 days?
- Not to eat alone at work
- Read books
- A little meditation (>=5 min) 2 days
- 10 minutes before heading home to reflect on work at the end of every day and setting priorities for the next day
- Declutter bedside table papers or some other stuff
- Count days without junk food
- Light table: prepare

[Family father]

Last week:

- Develop a "slow start up routine" - starting to
- Exercice: at least 3 times a day one minute of push-ups (or equivalent) for 2 days? - Done!
- Not to eat alone at work - Done
- Read books - Done
- A little meditation (>=5 min) 2 days
- 10 minutes before heading home to reflect on work at the end of every day and setting priorities for the next day - 3 days
- Declutter bedside table papers or some other stuff - Done
- Count days without junk food 3
- Light table: prepare - Done

I realize now last was the most "sporty" week in the last months (if not years): I did the minute challenge, plus soccer on thursday and a 5k race with 8yo son on saturday!

It would be nice to use it to upraise my activity level.. by the way I'll stick with counting days with the minute challenge and counting exercise days if they happen..

I'm also starting my day a little slower, but without routine so far..

I'll also quit with the meditation (not time yet) and stop tracking "not to eat out alone at work", since I feel this is achieved.

Next week:

- Continue developing a "slow start up routine"
- Exercice: count days with at least 3 times a day one minute of push-ups (or equivalent) and other sports
- 10 minutes before heading home to reflect on work at the end of every day and setting priorities for the next day
- Declutter bedside table papers or some other stuff
- Count days without junk food (and try to increase fruit)
- Light table: prepare
- Read books

Let's see..

[Family father]

It's been long since the last time I wrote here.

Together between work and sleep deprivation I haven't had the time nor the will to work on my objectives.. I don't have yet.

so today I won't update anything.

I just wanted to write about the last book before I forget: after reading Jason's comments about Marie Kondo's work I decided to give it a try.

I looked for the audiobook and heard it on my commute.

I will start by saying I think she's gone cu-cu on some (many) things but again there were a few ideas worth saving (actually more than worth saving).

The idea of discarding everything that "doesn't spark Joy" is very interesting!

It also works on the idea that if you get surrounded only by things that spark joy, basically you'll get rid of average stuff that give you anything special, and by removing all those things you should be living a more joyful life.

The other idea I liked is when she said it may be difficult for us to get rid of something that doesn't "spark joy" when it "attaches to the Past" or when it "gives us security about the future", and that by confronting our reasons not to discard a thing and by doing it over all the things we find difficult to discard we basically can learn about ourselves.

She also thinks that in this process we build self-confidence because we are taking a lot of decisions about our life..

So basically I'm now in at the decluttering rally.. thanks @Jason

[Family father]

I thought I should update..

Last objectives were:

- Continue developing a "slow start up routine" - no routine yet
- Exercice: count days with at least 3 times a day one minute of push-ups (or equivalent) and other sports little progress
- 10 minutes before heading home to reflect on work at the end of every day and setting priorities for the next day 2 days.. 4 weeks ago
- Declutter bedside table papers or some other stuff DONE
- Count days without junk food (and try to increase fruit) Progress is good here, but I didn't count
- Light table: prepare Nope
- Read books Should I count audiobooks? leaning (slowly) towards yes..

I reviewed my 2018 objectives, but obviously no changes there too

I even doubt about setting objectives for next week..

- Continue developing a "slow start up routine"
- Exercice: count days with at least 3 times a day one minute of push-ups (or equivalent) and other sports
- 10 minutes before heading home to reflect on work at the end of every day and setting priorities for the next day
- Advance with KonMarie in clothing
- Count days without junk food (and try to increase fruit)
- Light table: prepare
- Read books

I'll be happy if I write again next week

[Family father]

I have also finished reading Hiromi Shinya's "The rejuvenation enzyme": a book I bought some time ago at the airport..

Unfortunately I don't know enough to validate or reject many of it's contents, so I'll just quote the "Seven Golden Keys for Good Health" in the end of the book:

1. GOOD DIET

You should be consuming 85-90% plant based foods and 10-15% animal based food and proteins.
Plant-based foods

Eat a 85-90% plant-based foods:

Eat 50% whole grains, brown rice, whole wheat pasta, barley, cereals, whole grain bread & beans including soybeans, kidney beans, garbanzo beans, lentils, pinto beans, pigeon peas, black, white & pink beans.
Eat 30% green and yellow vegetables and root vegetables, including potatoes, carrots, yams and beets and sea vegetables.
With the remaining 5-10%, eat fruits, seeds & nuts.

The remaining 10-15% animal based proteins (no more than 3 to 4 oz per day):

Fish and type but preferably small fish as the larger fish contain mercury
Poultry: chicken, turkey, duck – small amounts only
Beef, lamb, veal pork – should be limited or avoided
Eggs
Soymilk, soy cheese, rice milk, almond milk

Foods to add to your diet

Herbal teas
Seaweed tablets (kelp)
Brewers yeast (good source of B complex vitamins and minerals)
Bee pollen and propolis
Enzyme supplements
Multivitamin & mineral supplement

Foods & substances to avoid or limit in your diet

Dairy products such as cow’s milk, cheese, yogurt, other milk products
Coffee
Sweets and sugar
Nicotine
Alcohol
Chocolate
Fat and oils
Regular table salt (Use sea salt with trace minerals).
Limit to 1-2 cups per day: Japanese green tea, Chinese tea, English tea.

Additional Dietary recommendations

Stop eating and drinking 4-5 hours before bedtime.
Chew every mouthful 30-50 times.
Do not eat between meals except for whole fruit (a piece of whole fruit may be eaten one hour before bedtime if hunger keeps you awake as it digests quickly).
Eat fruits and drink juices 30-60 minutes before meals.
Eat whole, unrefined grains and cereals.
Eat more food raw or lightly steamed. Heating food over 118 degrees will kill enzymes.
Do not eat oxidized foods. (Fruit, which has turned brown, has begun to oxidize.)
Eat fermented foods.
Be disciplined with the food you eat. Remember you are what you eat.

2. Good water

Water is essential for your health:

Drink water with strong reduction power that has not been polluted with chemical substances.
Drinking “good water” such as mineral water or hard water, which has much calcium and magnesium, keeps your body at an optimal alkaline pH.
Adults should drink at least 6-10 cups of water every day.Drink 1-3 cups of water after waking up in the morning.Drink 2-3 cups of water about one hour before each meal.

3. REGULAR ELIMINTATION

Start a daily habit to remove intestinal pollutants and to clean out your system regularly.
Do not take laxatives.
If the bowel is sluggish or to detoxify the liver, consider using a coffee enema.

4. MODERATE EXERCISE

Exercise appropriate for your age and physical condition is necessary for good health but excessive exercise can release free radicals and harm your body.
Some good forms of exercise are:
Walking (2.5 miles)
Swimming
Yoga
Tennis
Bicycling
Golf
Muscle strengthening
Martial arts and aerobics

5. ADEQUATE REST

Go to bed at the same time every night and get 6 to 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep
Do not eat or drink 4 – 5 hours before bedtime, if you are hungry or thirsty a small piece of fruit may be eaten one hour before retiring as it will digest quickly.
Take a short nap of about 30 minutes after lunch.

6. BREATHING AND MEDITATION

Practice meditation
Practice positive thinking
Do deep abdominal breathing 4 or 5 times per hour (this is very important as deep breaths help to rid the body of toxins and free radicals)
The exhale should be twice as long as the inhale.
Wear loose clothing that does not restrict your breath.Listen to your own body and be good to yourself.

7. JOY AND LOVE

Joy and love will boost your body’s enzyme factor sometimes in miraculous ways.
Take time every day for an attitude of appreciation.
Laugh, sing and dance.
Live passionately and engage your life, your work, and the ones you love with your full heart.

As I said, I can't validate or reject, so I may try some things.. or not

Since I finished a book, I allowed myself to buy another: ERE by JLF... let's see

[Family father]

I update, so success!!

Last week:

- Continue developing a "slow start up routine" - I need to think a little more about this one.. maybe next week?

- Exercice: count days with at least 3 times a day one minute of push-ups (or equivalent) and other sports - This one minute thing is not working: I did real exercice two days (one soccer game and 20 min bicicle+swim), so it will be ok. From now on, I'll try to do exercice at least 2 times per week (soccer every other week and midday exercice twice a week).. let's see

- 10 minutes before heading home to reflect on work at the end of every day and setting priorities for the next day - I think I have to get there, but I haven't done any progress here.. I'll start by making a daily task checklist and if I stick to it, I'll add this item on the checklist

- Advance with KonMarie in clothing - none: didn't have time either.. besides, I did the biggest part and now I'm stuck with belts and so on: I'll put this on my todoist, and remove it from here..

- Count days without junk food (and try to increase fruit) - I must change how I count this item: I have improved a lot in my eating habits, and this metric is not helping any more... I'll try to make a score by counting fruit + veggies + nuts and (1-x) on protein and on whims (soft drinks / chocolate / other).. Let's see

- Light table: prepare - Again to Todoist

- Read books: done

Next week:

- Slow start up routine
- Exercice
- Healthy diet score
- Daily tasks checklist (workdays)
- Reading books
- Other (light table, decluttering...)

[Family father]

Update = success!

Last week:

- Slow start up routine (no advance)
- Exercice 1 day
- Healthy diet score 6+9+2+5+2+2+5 = 31 / 7 = 4,4 (data may not be too reliable on weekend..
- Daily tasks checklist (workdays) done
- Reading books done
- Other (light table, decluttering...) none

Decluttering is going a little bit back: DW decided that folding shirts is too much trouble, so they are hanging again and overfilling the hanging space, and haven't worked nothing for belts yet..

Next week (same as this one):

- Slow start up routine
- Exercice
- Healthy diet score
- Daily tasks checklist (workdays)
- Reading books
- Other (light table, decluttering...)

Let's see!

[Family father]

Almost two months went by...

First weeks I was traveling, then I was busy, and then two weeks ago a serious health problem stroke our life... I don't want to talk about it.

At some point I'll review objectives & al. and I must remember to post about "The life of Pi"

Now, I wanted to write here because I made some re-shaping into our expense tracking and wanted to leave the reasons and intentions behind.

Rent or own

I read 7th chapter of ERE's book, and then I also read the approach to rent vs own in chapter 6.. which made me think (thanks) but I think it may be wrong ( )...

Maybe Rent vs own is the wrong question: it's three decissions in one!

Decission one: You decide where you want to live, and according to that, the market sets a rent and this is your housing cost.

Decission two: you decide to invest in a house to rent.. you must ponder annual rent minus costs against acquisition cost, and if the return is ok, you go for it.

When you decide to buy a house to live in, you are taking the decission to invest in a house to rent with a reliable tenant (yourself), and thus you should be sure the return is good for you, and you should track the rent as a return of the investment you made (and consequently, the house must be in your NW as a producing asset.. at real cost (not acquisition)).

As a tennant you shouldn't forget that your living expense is the "market rent" for your house, and track it as it.

Decission three: You may decide to leverage the house with a mortage... It's ok, as far as you know where you are going!

When you leverage you incur in a financing cost (interests) and compromise yearly payments for a few years:

- Financing cost may be fixed (so you don't add any uncertainity to the investment, or variable in which case you add one degree of uncertainity and you must run the different scenarios to be sure your investment makes sense in the long run or know when you must react and how..

- The compromised payments will affect your cash flow, so you may need to resize your emergency fund..

In exchange for those, you benefit from the returns of all the asset....

When is it attractive to invest in real state?

Jacob gives the formula (the concept, I may change the form of it) :

% return = ( Annual rent - annual expenses ) / Asset cost

And now let's talk about boundaries:

- It is ok to assume that as far as there are no big changes in the housing demand / offer / market, the rent will go up around the inflation.

- It is also reasonable (I think Jacob states that too somewhere in the book) that in the very long term, asset cost should also move around inflation.

So we should try not to buy in a hot market or in a dying city.. ok so far!

Now we move on one year, and we find that, since both rent, cost and acquisition cost moved up the inflation, the return stays aprox the same...

But our asset gained value over the year!!!!

So maybe we should add asset value inflation in the formula:

% return = ( Annual rent - annual expenses + asset value inflation) / asset cost

And thus your main risks are: overestimating the right rent (right rent = the one that allows you to rent continuously to reliable tennants), seriously underestimating the asset and renting expenses and wrong timing (this last being a crucial one, according to the frequent bubbles...)

What about it??


Portfolio control strategy

So far, I have created my portfolio tracking sheet with the ideas above, which I will update yearly or when conditions change and take action if necessary.

Reviewing our decissions over the years under those criteria:

1- We timed very badly the market.. twice!! (bought a small house just to realize we wanted a family that didn't fit in the house, so we bought a second.. first in the bubble and second after the peek, but before the gross correction) so we suffered from a very severe loss of money we didn't have (we leveraged and in spain mortage stays with the person, not with the house).

2- Once bought the second house, we decided to keep the first and rent it: the correction had already started, so it made and makes sense. Additionally, thanks to an external factor such as the low interests for the last decade, it has given a nice return..

Now let's see what happens with interests the next years (when and how much they go up: they may make the returns schrink or even negative) and if that doesn't happen, it seems like a good idea not to do nothing...

Also, I must keep an eye in the market just in case it may go up enough as to make the sell atractive: a tougher decission here, if markets were so easy to time...

I will now start thinking about starting a second stream in my portfolio: index investing..


Needs and wants

I also started changing my expense tracking sheet to show these categories:

Needs: Housing (at market rent), food, water & energy
Strategic / Basic wants: Children education, Communications, Car
Wants: All the rest

Let's see where it takes us

[jacob]

I recommend reading this entire thread for how to think about housing costs: viewtopic.php?f=3&t=7870

[Frugalchicos]

@Family father

Saludos de un compatriota - (I am from the Basque Country).

First of all, I would like to congratulate you for your newborn!. Second, I have some questions since I am also intending in retiring in Spain (I currently live and work in the US):

- Are you thinking in living in Spain or perhaps moving to a more economic country? - I also find myself checking for houses in more remote areas (Galicia, Extremadura, Castilla la Mancha, Andalucia, etc...) with a little plot of land. However, I will definitely move back home since all my family is there and I have access to a small condo my family owns.

- What is a comfortable passive income for you? - I set mine in about $1250/month. Our circumstances are different than yours since we don't have kids yet and have access to a paid off house with basically no rent (I might pay a symbolic rent to my sister to avoid future resentment even though she doesn't want any money).

- What are you thinking in doing when you retire early? - I know the job market is way different than in the US where you can find a PT job and still make a decent amount of money.

- Where are you investing your money? buying houses, flipping them and renting or perhaps stock market? If it is the stock market, is it in particular stocks (like Santander) or Ibex 35?

- Do you talk about this with your friends and relatives? I know the simple idea of retiring early doesn't make sense to most of the Spaniards and probably look at you like your high or delusional.

Finally, I would like to recommend you some good yoga channels and websites:
- Youtube: Do yoga with Adrienne - She has very easy yoga videos. I use them for stretching my lower back.
- Website: doyogawithme.com - Any kind of level, body part, relaxation, meditation, etc..

Cheers,

Frugal Chico

[Family father]

@Jacob,

Thanks, it was very interesting.. I'll come back to it in the future.

@FC,

Thanks and sorry for the late answer..

- Are you thinking in living in Spain or perhaps moving to a more economic country?

I'll stay here: Spain offers good weather, very good healthcare, safety...

- I also find myself checking for houses in more remote areas (Galicia, Extremadura, Castilla la Mancha, Andalucia, etc...) with a little plot of land. However, I will definitely move back home since all my family is there and I have access to a small condo my family owns.

You seem to have your mind already done.. (if you knew no one and were about to move to spain to retire, I would probably recommend a remote town in Andalucia )

- What is a comfortable passive income for you? - I set mine in about $1250/month. Our circumstances are different than yours since we don't have kids yet and have access to a paid off house with basically no rent (I might pay a symbolic rent to my sister to avoid future resentment even though she doesn't want any money).

I can't answer this: it will strongly differ depending in habits and place, and our circumstances are, as you say, too different

Besides.. 1250 €/mo is just shy of the most common wage..

- What are you thinking in doing when you retire early? - I know the job market is way different than in the US where you can find a PT job and still make a decent amount of money.

Honestly.. I haven't even started... having four kids puts me in the Not So Early Retirement wagon..

- Where are you investing your money? buying houses, flipping them and renting or perhaps stock market? If it is the stock market, is it in particular stocks (like Santander) or Ibex 35?

I have just started thinking about moving into stocks.. but I think that when I do, it will be index funds

- Do you talk about this with your friends and relatives? I know the simple idea of retiring early doesn't make sense to most of the Spaniards and probably look at you like your high or delusional.

I do speak about it with my friends.. we have very good laughs about my chances

And thanks for the advices on yoga!

[Family father]

Update is long overdue...

DW was diagnosed cancer in mid july.

First weeks were terrible, not knowing what to expect, and we learnt to live by the day.

Then we knew there was treatment and, as we started with the chemotherapy, we forgot what we had learned.

Now chemotherapy sessions keep piling up, DW is walking though hell, and I (we) just try to save every day the best I (we) can.

I may not be living by the day, but I don't think in the future either..

It kills me to see her suffering.

I just want january (when chemo will be over and she will have the surgery) to be here ASAP

[suomalainen]

Well, shit. Sorry to hear it. Best wishes for chemo and surgery and remission and recovery.

[Clarice]

Ouch!!! So sorry to hear that... Best of luck. Stoicism is the most useful part of ERE for you now. Marcus Aurelius for suffering though it with dignity?

[SavingWithBabies]

. Best wishes to your wife, you and your family.

[wolf]

No... Sorry to hear. I wish you all the best for your wife and you.

[EdithKeeler]

I’m sorry to hear that. Hoping for the best for you and your family.