Getting over loyalty to employer and retirement guilt

JohnnyH · Post by **JohnnyH** » Wed Mar 30, 2011 7:07 pm

I just had an awkward annual performance evaluation. I was expecting a severe chastising (for not having enough work to do and working on my own interests, as described in no satisfaction thread), but instead got nothing but very high marks and praise... I left feeling guilty and am wondering why. I think partly because I do not feel my work has been outstanding... But mostly because I am planning to quit soon.
No raise or cost of living was offered (of course;) but they have been good employers and the department will likely have many problems when I leave. Not to sound arrogant, but I think the odds of finding my replacement for my pay are very low.
I also personally like nearly all my coworkers quite a lot. I think I'll offer them a very attractive PT, telecommute or consulting package before I leave. That will put the ball in their court. But years more FT work is out of the question and I think would be very detrimental.
Has anyone else ever had such feelings? How did you get over them?

djc · Post by **djc** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 3:10 pm

I was raised to be loyal to my employer, even to my own detriment. What woke me up was the complete lack of loyalty to me or anyone else. What you should think about is are your co-workers really friends, or just work buddies? Most "work buddies" just drift away after employment ends. This isn't to downplay the comaraderie one feels when working---but I've found the friendship usually goes away.
djc

mikeBOS · Post by **mikeBOS** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 3:38 pm

My former employer laid me and 8,000 others off with zero-days notice while they were netting $12B/year. I wonder how much talk of loyalty and guilt went on in the board room that day.

JasonR · Post by **JasonR** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 4:10 pm

S · Post by S » Thu Mar 31, 2011 4:40 pm

I feel little loyalty to my employer as I've seen how little loyalty they felt towards coworkers who were laid off. If I ceased to be useful to them, I'm sure I'd be next. I started off more idealistic early in my career, but eventually realized this was the truth (5th employer in 11 years here). Some small businesses are slightly less ruthless, but this is the atmosphere at most companies.

LoveSherpa · Post by **LoveSherpa** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 6:38 pm

I'm currently reading the Jungle so i'm at one extreme in my attitudes right now: I don't think you need to be loyal towards the coporation as your "employer." This a for-profit legal entity and they are employing you and others so long as you all help them attain that goal.
There's maybe one of two things going on:

1. You are earning what they pay you in wages + more in the long run (don't focus on short runs of being less productive than usual since this has been factored into your wages).
2. Your manager is not efficient in realizing that you are not earning your wages. In which case, the inefficiency is a flaw in the system which may or may not eventually correct iteself. Since you are planning to leave soon, I wouldn't worry about it.

CestLaVie · Post by **CestLaVie** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 6:39 pm

Loyalty is a two way street. My employer showed zero loyalty to their employees yet demanded total loyalty from their employees. Screw that.

Shandi76 · Post by **Shandi76** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 6:58 pm

I used to be an idealist who said even if I won the lottery (not that I play it) I would keep working in my current post.
After my first 'proper' job ended in a redundancy after 5 years of loyalty on my part, where I was happily (cluelessly) doing work I wasn't compensated for because no promoted posts were coming up, but I was of course getting great training and would be first in line yada yada... I've never trusted an employer since.
I do feel a degree of loyalty to my students, and so would probably see out an academic session unless there was some pressing reason I couldn't do so.

Post by **jacob** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 8:59 pm

I felt a friendship to my coworkers, collaborators, and colleagues and also a certain loyalty to my nearest collaborators and super/advisors. I still talk with some of them occasionally. However, as it might be apparent from my writings I had absolutely no loyalty to the employment/career system after seeing how it worked on the inside (the political aspect).
PhD brains who can publish four papers a year are a dime a dozen (market price around $35-45k/year in today's money) and they're essentially a commodity as one published paper is as good as any other realistically speaking. Thus I had also come to believe that what I did didn't really matter in the grand scheme. So while it would or will take 5+ years to replace me, it wasn't really necessary to replace me. The world went on fine without me.

m741 · Post by **m741** » Fri Apr 01, 2011 12:04 am

There are two cases where I think loyalty to the company that employs you makes sense: one is the very small company, where you might be good friends with the owner. The other case is where a company might make a large investment up-front in training, and you haven't worked long enough to justify it.
If neither of those is the case, then I wouldn't feel much loyalty to a company - nor would I really expect a company to feel much loyalty to me.

Piper · Post by **Piper** » Fri Apr 01, 2011 3:32 am

They have no loyalty toward you. It is called "at will" employment here in the US. Unfortunately, there's a total double-standard where even though the contract is at will, they can let you go instantly but you will be punished in future attempts to find work if you terminate instantly (give no notice).

HSpencer · Post by **HSpencer** » Fri Apr 01, 2011 4:06 am

In the military, which may not be considered normal employment, there is loyalty towards your fellow soldiers, but none towards the Department of the Army. Actually, the Dept of Army, itself, is too big to look at loyalty from any individual person. So, we are consigned to participating within our "unit" of ever changing personnel. No one actually stays anywhere very long, and that is helpful as there are not too strong "clicks" formed. However, politics is at the driving edge for promotions and success. All it takes is one looney Jr Officer or self-absorbed NCO to have a discord with you, and have it wind up on your efficiency report. The good thing here is that efficiency reports mean absolutely nothing unless your under some adverse personnel action, or your trying to go before some promotion board. Normally, all Officer and NCO efficiency reports are maxed out at the highest possible ratings. "Sgt Doe exhibits the highest potential seen in his field of expertise". Or "Sgt Doe has performed his duties excelling all expectations". In other words, complete prefab and BS. This is normal in the military. If an officer or NCO cannot prepare the highest possible ratings on his/her subordinates, that leader will find himself/herself on the carpet. Most intermediate officers are scared to low rate anyone, unless they have criminal background or have so openly offended or embarrassed the command that nothing less will do. It happens, then, that the machine that sweeps losers under the rugs, works in the background. Most are simply "transferred out".

The entire Department of the Army is graded by DOD on "strength of numbers". If a commander cannot get his/her people to reenlist, that commander's days are very limited.

In the military, loyalty has a whole different meaning. You care greatly about your fellow soldiers, and you protect them at all costs. However, everyone is out to stick it to the "Flag Pole" or "Headshed". For the officer corps, there is the "up or out" policy. You get promoted someway, somehow, or your history. That is how the officer population is managed. The enlisted keep a low profile, and their noses clean, and they are good till age 60. One quick way to get dismissed, however, is to fail to write "him/her" when writing about a "soldier". Gender discrimination is absolutely not tolerated, nor should it be. The phrase we were taught back in the 1970's was "Resign yourself to the new US Army, or resign, yourself".

Surio · Post by **Surio** » Fri Apr 01, 2011 11:43 am

There's truth in @mikeBOS' remarks, @JasonR's remark on "pseudo-work friends" and in @Jacob's remarks about the "systemic nature of the work".
A side-effect of the society we've constructed for ourselves today (homo industrialis, my favourite word

) is that we must "Look out for Number one".
Everything else is BS that falls by the wayside.
Finally, the World will go on fine without any of us, since it is running to its schedule. So, just look to enjoy the remainder of your time here in the best way possible.

JohnnyH · Post by **JohnnyH** » Mon Apr 04, 2011 2:52 pm

Thanks for the excellent input all.
I do not work for a greedy and oppressive corporation... I work for a trust, as part of a team managing renewable resources. Revenue is many multiples operation cost and maximum profit is secondary to proper management.
Everyone in my department has always been fair, and treats the employees well... However, we are all beholden to a board of political directors that are always threatening jobs. My last contract renewal was not exactly confidence inspiring... The board's treatment of other contract employees has been as bad as any corporations, perhaps worse. I need to keep in mind these politicians have the final say, not my immediate bosses.
I think much of the feeling of "owing" them is because this was my first job, that took me from Just Over Broke, to retirement. That is emotional. Logically, it is a business contract that was entered for mutual benefit, that could be ended at any time.
Like Surio said we only have a limited time. Job is an occupation, not an identity. Work to live, not live to work.
My dept will adjust to the new reality I'm sure. And I will even leave the door open with a part time or telecommuting proposal...
I will treat them as decently as I can, perhaps even some free work to get a replacement online. But there are not many things in life worth sacrificing your time over. The amicable feelings towards my employers and a relatively small amount of money do not make that list.
Retirement ho!