Holidays are what we choose to make of them. If we don't proactively create ways to celebrate that are meaningful to ourselves and others, social institutions (retailers, government, families, churches, etc.) are quick to fill the void. Holidays then become a useful vehicle for parting us from our money, time, and energy - key life resources. Is what we get in return worth the investment of those resources? For some, the answer is yes, and they will offer up their credit cards or precious leisure hours in devotion to the holiday gods. Some of us answer with a resounding "No! Bah, humbug!" We ignore the holiday or special occasion altogether, and pat ourselves on the back for being wise stewards of our life resources. And while I agree that to let social institutions dictate the meaning of a holiday, a birthday, an anniversary, and how it should be observed is to cease being navigators of our own lives, it seems that to dismiss every such event as a "Hallmark holiday" and refuse to celebrate in any way is to lose opportunity - opportunity to honor, reconnect, and share joy with people we care about; opportunity to step outside our routine and renew our mind/spirit; opportunity to have fun and be creative; opportunity to think, reflect, and learn; opportunity to create meaning; opportunity to expand our Self. For if life is so precious to us that we don't want to squander a minute more of it than necessary in mind-numbing or soul-sucking employment, then how can we so easily let these golden opportunities slip through our fingers?
If you don't want to cook a big Thanksgiving dinner and spend an evening with people who drive you to drink - don't. You could instead use the opportunity to reflect on what you are thankful for in your life, and let the joy and self expansion that arises from your gratitude spark an appropriate celebration. It might be cleaning up a park or beach you have enjoyed during the year, or writing notes thanking people who have contributed to your life in some way, or volunteering a shift at a food bank, or simply enjoying a full heart instead of an overstuffed stomach.
If you don't want to make restaurants, jewelers, florists, and confectioners rich on Valentine's Day - don't. You could, however, use the opportunity to reflect on what connection to others means to you, and what, if any, action you want to take as a result. Maybe you need some time to reconnect with and develop compassion for yourself. Make a plan for doing so - and implement it! Maybe you have the good fortune to have someone in your life you genuinely enjoy being with. How can you honor that connection? What would be meaningful to that person? Thinking creatively about how to do that can expand your Self and deepen your connection to another.
Okay, enough with examples. It is not my intention to create a whole new list of prescribed ways to celebrate the holidays. It is to point out that leading an ERE lifestyle does not prohibit celebrating holidays, but rather, it challenges us to find personally meaningful ways to do so, to maximize the value of these opportunities. Besides, it’s good practice for constructing a meaningful life post-ERE, when our lives are no longer bound by externally imposed schedules and performance goals.
Humans are distinguished by our need for and ability to create meaning in our lives. If we continually squander opportunities to create meaning, our lives become meaningless, and we become less than fully human. But to live mindfully, to live with intention, honoring our gifts and making the most of our moments, is to lead a life of maximum value. By taking full responsibility for our lives and the moments that comprise them, we become truly free.
A different take on holidays
First of all, thank you for your uplifting post on the forum.
I must tell you what came into my mind as I read the post. I happened to be standing in World*Mart yesterday (Feb 14th) and I never saw so much hub-bub in my life as the employees (associates they call them) bussed in and out with cart after cart of all things Valentine. They had dedicated at least five aisles to the holiday. At every turn you saw something to make you mindful of the Valentine day and BUY BUY BUY, I saw young men slipping together boxes of candy, flowers, cards, this and that. Now I am not anti-holiday or anti Valentine. I just always get so amazed at the "robotic" movements of people shopping for "their" items on holidays, and scrambling to "just get er' done." I imagine them on the way home from work, probably not liking it much, but squeezed into having to stop and shop. (btw: my wife and I neither exchange gifts, nor stop and shop in a panic to meet some holiday deadline for each other, in fact this is our gifts to each other. We simply stopped playing the game a long time ago. I still love her-she still loves me--we both know it.)
Giving to others and community should be in the manner you state in your post. Thank you!!!!!
I must tell you what came into my mind as I read the post. I happened to be standing in World*Mart yesterday (Feb 14th) and I never saw so much hub-bub in my life as the employees (associates they call them) bussed in and out with cart after cart of all things Valentine. They had dedicated at least five aisles to the holiday. At every turn you saw something to make you mindful of the Valentine day and BUY BUY BUY, I saw young men slipping together boxes of candy, flowers, cards, this and that. Now I am not anti-holiday or anti Valentine. I just always get so amazed at the "robotic" movements of people shopping for "their" items on holidays, and scrambling to "just get er' done." I imagine them on the way home from work, probably not liking it much, but squeezed into having to stop and shop. (btw: my wife and I neither exchange gifts, nor stop and shop in a panic to meet some holiday deadline for each other, in fact this is our gifts to each other. We simply stopped playing the game a long time ago. I still love her-she still loves me--we both know it.)
Giving to others and community should be in the manner you state in your post. Thank you!!!!!