Scott 2 wrote: ↑Wed Jan 26, 2022 11:51 am
Isn't finding a want like this
[the want to increase desire] the hard part? It's what I might expect to emerge from a space to simply exist.
Ahhh.... I've been conceptualizing this exercise as for people who posses that 'want' to increase desire. I wasn't sure I had anything to say to people who don't want to increase their desire - I'm not trying to tell anyone who currently
doesn't want to increase desire that they
should. Maybe they should - but I don't know. I expect a space to simply exist is a great place for that want to emerge. But then.... isn't that advice for people who want to increase the desire to increase desire? How many levels up are we going here?
Scott 2 wrote: ↑Wed Jan 26, 2022 11:51 am
To some extent - my response is specific to you as an individual. You speed ran the ERE knowledge domain, are burning new territory and investing in the community. Balancing that fervor with an opposing force is constructive. Give your brain the space to process. Loss of desire can be symptomatic of over extension - heading into or from burnout. Good stress is still stress. It accumulates.
Yoga practice beat this in to me. I started with a must win, 100% determination attitude. At one point, I tried so hard that my jaw locked up for days. I had trouble eating. Teachers (and my wife) were like "hey, maybe try going at 75%, see what happens." Of course I ignored them and doubled down. Once injuries made 75% my only option, I relented. You know what? It works a lot better.
I think I have a similar-shaped story. GROW, DAMMIT has always been my MO. My short work with yoga practice (among other things) helped me see how much of a knot I was trying myself in. But... I think this is what I'm saying about how one's grit and desire to win evolves and matures over time. When I was younger, I thought that tensing every single fiber of every muscle in my body, letting out a viking war bellow, and hurling myself at whatever obstacle I set my mind to, was the proper way to approach every endeavor. With time, experience, and yoga, I've learned that it's often much more effective and non-damaging to work from a place of steadiness and ease. I "win" more now
because I've throttled back, just as you say. I don't think of that as a lessening of desire to win, I just suck less at it now. (or, I'm more efficient at winning now in terms of energy expended/win.)
This thread isn't about how to redline our mind-body-soul-entities, how to scream GROW DAMMIT even louder, it's about how to find the most appropriate use of our desires, inclinations, grittiness, et cetera - and in particular it's about how to
repair damage done by dysfunctional environmental factors to our natural levels of desire/grit.
Scott 2 wrote: ↑Wed Jan 26, 2022 11:51 am
Are you looking for people's experience in adopting change strategies? IE - 7 habits, atomic habits, getting things done, etc.?
Alternatively, is it possible to point out where in the model below you are trying to play? Is it going from contemplation to determination?
This is really interesting... thanks for this. I think I'm more going from determination to action, but also I find my natural grittiness showing signs of blossoming without intentional action simply because I've removed myself from the negative environmental factors that had depressed it. So, to point out the noted limitation of that model, "The model assumes that individuals make coherent and logical plans in their decision-making process when this is not always true."
It's like every once in a while I'll accidentally exhibit some gritty behavior, and then psychologically *wince* because I'm expecting (due to training) to get smacked in the face like usual.... and then I don't get smacked in the face... and then I go oh, neat, maybe next time I'll do more even, that'd feel good, and I'll wince less next time. Only recently have I noticed this dynamic, and it occurred to me that I might be able to take some intentional actions now to help the process along. I want these mental whips and chains the fuck
off.