Mae's Musings

Where are you and where are you going?
Mae
Posts: 57
Joined: Wed Dec 27, 2017 3:44 am
Location: Belgium (Western Europe)

Re: Mae's Musings

Post by Mae » Sun Dec 30, 2018 3:15 pm

I definitely have issues with my parents that need to be worked out, but they are emotionally very very closed/unavailable. I see them every 3-4 months or so. Maybe I should make it a new year's resolution to call and update them at least once a month. Jason, you are inspiring me!

Jason
Posts: 1817
Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2017 8:37 am

Re: Mae's Musings

Post by Jason » Sun Dec 30, 2018 3:58 pm

My therapist and I have had discussions over the 180 tendency. There is a technical term for it that escapes me at the moment. But in a nutshell, in addressing behavior, attitudes or character traits that you find faulty or would like to avoid, engaging in diametrically oppositional behavior or attitudes is not an appropriate response. It's reductionist in its extremity. For instance, if you find a person to be too intellectual for his/her own good, the appropriate response is not for you to want him/her to be anti-intellectual. If a parent was distant, the answer was not for them to be smothering. I think this tendency may have some value when addressing our current political climate.

You can use extremes to find where you are comfortable. We are doing that with TV now. We are swinging the pendulum all the way to the other side in order to find an appropriate methodology and rate of consumption.

Here is a classic take on the issue:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKUvKE3bQlY

suomalainen
Posts: 625
Joined: Sat Oct 18, 2014 12:49 pm

Re: Mae's Musings

Post by suomalainen » Sun Dec 30, 2018 4:04 pm

On the other hand, if someone is a human anchor as someone on here coined, even if it's a parent, having less exposure to them is the rational choice. There's nothing wrong with cutting out a poisonous person from your life.

I'm speaking generally, not suggesting that either or both of your parents are poisonous, a topic about which I have zero idea.

Jason
Posts: 1817
Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2017 8:37 am

Re: Mae's Musings

Post by Jason » Sun Dec 30, 2018 4:17 pm

I was addressing the issue from an internal/existential standpoint i.e. "If I don't like the quality (x), it does not mean its best for me to take on the opposite of the quality (anti-x)." On the issue of completely avoiding asshole family members, I'm completely down with that.

Sabaka
Posts: 59
Joined: Wed Apr 26, 2017 9:41 am

Re: Mae's Musings

Post by Sabaka » Mon Dec 31, 2018 1:17 pm

Well done on the savings rate guys, 89% is fantastic. Good idea with the peanuts as well. I too used to eat a lot of peanut butter everyday, and I found that when I switched to whole peanuts I consume much less before feeling full, whereas I could easily eat a tub of peanut butter and still be hungry :lol: .

Mae, if you're still looking for vegan footwear, I recently bought a pair from Will's Vegan Shoes. They are quite a pricey, but they have held up quite well, and I was using them in a warehouse environment. Here is the link if you want to have a look: https://wills-vegan-shoes.com/

Have a good new year!

Mae
Posts: 57
Joined: Wed Dec 27, 2017 3:44 am
Location: Belgium (Western Europe)

Re: Mae's Musings

Post by Mae » Mon Dec 31, 2018 2:30 pm

Thank you, Sabaka! I think we can hit a consistent 70% savings rate (90% in December) if we are just that little bit smarter about our budget. But I believe our numbers are great, considering I work part-time.

It's funny you mention Will's Shoes, since I bought a pair of their sandals (https://twitter.com/WillsVeganStore/sta ... 9006989312, not my photo) last summer. Very decent.

Frugalpatat and I wish you a good 2019 :D

Mae
Posts: 57
Joined: Wed Dec 27, 2017 3:44 am
Location: Belgium (Western Europe)

Re: Mae's Musings

Post by Mae » Thu Feb 07, 2019 2:45 pm

January Recap

I'm very happy with our 75,11% savings rate!

Despite being hospitalised for a week, buying hiking shoes and a laptop charger and having to pay for insurance.

I haven't seen any hospital bills yet. Insurance will cover most (if not all) of it. I did have to pay up front for my medication (this month) but will retrieve most of it. I'm VERY glad we are well-insured and so comfortable money-wise, after having had my life unexpectedly put on hold for a week.

Also, FrugalPatat had a raise. Woot.

bigato
Posts: 1626
Joined: Sat Mar 05, 2011 12:43 pm

Re: Mae's Musings

Post by bigato » Thu Feb 07, 2019 5:54 pm

I have nothing insightful to say, but wanted to comment that I read your journal and for some reason I cannot quite pin down, I like you guys.

Mae
Posts: 57
Joined: Wed Dec 27, 2017 3:44 am
Location: Belgium (Western Europe)

Re: Mae's Musings

Post by Mae » Sat Feb 09, 2019 6:50 am

bigato wrote:
Thu Feb 07, 2019 5:54 pm
I have nothing insightful to say, but wanted to comment that I read your journal and for some reason I cannot quite pin down, I like you guys.
:D Lol, thank you! I think we're one of the rare couples on here.

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