I think I have run out of dreams..
I mean, there is a list of things you want to do / accomplish in your life.
I started adding things to that list back when I was a child (things like being an astronaut, eating as much candies as I wanted...) and kept adding things along the years.
There is also a mechanism to remove things for the list:
- Things that already done / accomplished dissapear from that list.
- Those that aren't (or I don't consider) achievable (such as being an astronaut) also dissapear: maybe they move into another list of "things I couldn't achieve", but I don't feel that list annoys me at all, so for me it's ok.
- There are also some that at some moment entered the list but over time didn't seem interesting enough or worth the effort / risk..
I can't really tell when it happened, but it may have been part of the reason of my distress in the last times.
I realized of this some weeks / months ago (I really can't tell), and since then have been thinking about the purpose in my life..
This week I was home alone, and have had time to think: I reached the conclusion that all I want from life is for it to go on as slow as possible.
I want to savor every moment I spend with DW, and the children.
Use the very little spare time I have in enjoyable hobbies.
The less enjoyable experiences or things I have to do, I want to do them the smoothest I can, and not to spend a second worrying or angry at them.
And that's it: I just want to enjoy every moment and everything as much as possible.
I know it may be difficult sometimes, particularly when the children test the limits, or in some situations at work, but I have a purpose!
I may not have dreams, but I have a purpose!
I'll try to track my Well Being using the "Warwick-Edinburgh Mental Well-being Scale" I saw in Wolf's journal.
Since I also tracked my well being in a custom made manner between January and February 2017, I wanted to check the data and draw the conclusions I could from them: then I tried to track my well being in general and then about different subjects (Work, SO..), and I also tracked sleeping hours to see if there was any correlation.
The few data show there seems to be correlation with sleep, being better to sleep around 8 hours, no less than 7.
It also shows that DW was the best part of my life... followed by family.. and last came work.
So now I'll add to the WEMWBS the sleeping quantity with a similar scale.
I'll also try to track the data twice a week (on my previous attempt I did it daily): one for workdays (tipically on friday) and one for weekends (mondays): let's see where does it take me...