What I Spend

Where are you and where are you going?
basuragomi
Posts: 419
Joined: Tue Oct 15, 2019 3:13 pm

Re: What I Spend

Post by basuragomi »

I dealt with the same AC overflow issue last year, it's amazing how much distress such a relatively tiny issue can cause. In my case a gunked-up PVC elbow in the drain path was 75% obscured by flashing from poor moulding, so it was a free fix using just a knife.

If you have enough time, you can DIY cheap plates - get a plasma cutting shop to cut out plates and weld them together, maybe fill with gravel. Setting up a lifting platform outside might be feasible too, in the winter you put out so much heat lifting that weather isn't really a problem.

Would you consider using new income to enrich the world as you see fit? Feed the hungry, support the arts, preserve history? It seems like you're now turning your focus outwards to others - is there nothing you see worth changing?

For what it's worth, I have the same sleeping issue - my solution was to fold a thin blanket in half and stuff it in a duvet cover. She gets a thick blanket, I get a thin sheet, and it's all in a single package.

classical_Liberal
Posts: 2283
Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2016 6:05 am

Re: What I Spend

Post by classical_Liberal »

Scott 2 wrote:
Sun Aug 29, 2021 10:35 am
I have time to get new ideas and see how I'd integrate them. Previously, work left me so busy, I'd ignore anything that was not immediately pressing. I was single minded in my focus for a high score, so doing without felt easy. Really - net worth had become a proxy for the freedom I desperately wanted.
The desire to make your own solution like @basuragomi's suggestion is what's missing from your statement, otherwise it's very similar to below. Do you have that desire?
viewtopic.php?p=223873#p223873
Jin+Guice wrote:
Tue Aug 11, 2020 1:03 pm
Moving from Wheaton 5 to 6 requires a shift in thinking. Getting to Wheaton 5 is about optimizing the money dimension. First expenses are examined and eliminated. Budgets are developed. A reduction in expenses is initially painful, but once it becomes a habit and the bank account starts growing, it becomes a fun game. Next expenses are optimized. Budgets are dropped and efficiency in spending becomes an obsession. All expenditures are tracked with the goal of maximum efficiency. Spending is minimized and savings are maximized. Life becomes a single variable optimization problem of increasing net worth as rapidly as possible.

I'm going to suggest something that I'm not sure our fearless leader or the other FIRE gods would agree with. If following the ERE Wheaton path to enlightenment, after spending some time at the optimization stage, it may be necessary to give up efficiency in spending in order to progress. This may result in lower savings or even *gasp* higher spending.

Scott 2
Posts: 2824
Joined: Sun Feb 12, 2012 10:34 pm

Re: What I Spend

Post by Scott 2 »

@basuragomi

The AC issue seems fairly common. You handled it well. I suspect during replacement of my prior unit, they didn't replace the original drain pipe. The amount of build up was impressive. I am lucky the mess was small.

I debated on DIY for the pipe replacement, to the point where I had picked everything online. The work quote was so low though, it didn't make sense to skip an expert clean and check of the system. Maybe I give them too much credit, but I am very hesitant to open the furnace.


I have a decent lifting setup in my basement. My immediate wants are centered on dealing with some chronic joint issues. It's not bad enough to afford PT, but it does hurt. I'm trying to avoid the painful movements, while I strengthen the opposite or adjacent motions. I also want to vary what I do, minimizing overuse from repetitive patterns. Since there's a little spending money every month, I have an easy path forward. Fair point though - buying my way through is not ERE aligned.

I did learn from the 2020 lockdowns, I will run out of intrinsic motivation lifting entirely at home.


Would I consider more charity? Dunno. It's on the list, but not something I am drawn to. If I find a gratifying way to spend my time, money isn't the first priority. I am cautious towards joining volunteer labor pools. People lack commitment, it is primarily grunt work, free labor generally isn't valued, etc.

I tried gifting a few years ago - $1000 to my wife's sister, to celebrate her first baby. It was emotionally flat for me, total indifference. I like her sister and think it helped her. I can't imagine strangers would raise that response, so straight contributions of cash probably aren't my answer (ie earn to give).

In the long term, 20% of our estate is marked for donation. It is likely that will dwarf anything I might do now. Near term, we do foster animals for the local shelter, but primarily because it's fun. Until recently that has been driven almost entirely by my wife.


@cL

It's great to have you back. Very accurate assessment of my Wheaton level and what is missing.

Unfortunately, I have zero aspiration to DIY. With no good option, I suck it up, but I never enjoy it. I find no pride in the end result, only annoyance at being troubled. Ignore the problem is my primary tactic, honestly. Perhaps it merits reconsideration.

COVID did force me to do more. Some of it was less hassle than buying help, so I have kept those changes. I am loathe to resume Instacart. I've been cleaning my own house. The labor shortage made eating out a drag, so cooking has been more compelling. But, I almost always defer until it looks like doing without will be a real problem. One exception might be if doing now means substantially less hassle later. Enlightened laziness speaks to me.

Lifting toys are great examples of an opportunity to bridge that gap. The same budget would buy tools and materials. I'd learn for sure, with a very low penalty for failure. Years ago, I even built a website to feature a friend's fantastic DIY gym. There's a rich history of lifters building their own equipment. But, it doesn't resonate with me.

My wife models the higher level behavior. She was cutting her own hair years ago. She's mended and altered clothes. She made most of the art on our walls. Lately, she's been refinishing a free bench. She is past 20 plants and wanted it as a stand. We hit Home Depot last week, entirely for her endeavors. Painting a bedroom is on next month's list. I'm sure there is more, she's always getting into it. Some of that does trickle down to me, but not without resistance.

white belt
Posts: 1452
Joined: Sat May 21, 2011 12:15 am

Re: What I Spend

Post by white belt »

Scott 2 wrote:
Sun Aug 29, 2021 6:38 pm
Unfortunately, I have zero aspiration to DIY. With no good option, I suck it up, but I never enjoy it. I find no pride in the end result, only annoyance at being troubled. Ignore the problem is my primary tactic, honestly. Perhaps it merits reconsideration.

COVID did force me to do more. Some of it was less hassle than buying help, so I have kept those changes. I am loathe to resume Instacart. I've been cleaning my own house. The labor shortage made eating out a drag, so cooking has been more compelling. But, I almost always defer until it looks like doing without will be a real problem. One exception might be if doing now means substantially less hassle later. Enlightened laziness speaks to me.
Just reading the past few pages of your journal, it seems there is definitely a pattern of you deferring problems until they snowball into much bigger issues (e.g. talking about money with your wife, teeth/jaw health, AC maintenance). Perhaps there could be some benefit to taking some time to explore that pattern? Maybe try to gain some insight into when it started, why you do it, etc so that at the very least you can get better at identifying that behavior.

Along with the financial scarcity mindset that others have pointed out, the biggest things that jumps out to me is that I can't figure out what you actually enjoy doing. Most of your posts are talking about things you give up, but it seems they aren't replaced by things that bring you some sort of self-actualization. I mean, I'm a huge fan of lifting and going to the gym too, but that's at most 2 hours a day. Assuming 8 hours of sleep, that still leaves 14 hours of time in the typical day. You talk about DIY stuff not resonating with you, but what exactly does resonate with you in those remaining 14 hours of your day?

These aren't easy questions to answer, since in our typical consumerist society we don't ever really have to face them. A full time worker has the constant distractions of work to keep him occupied and exhausted, so it's easy to ignore looming questions about life purpose. I believe your perspective is quite common in the FIRE sphere and it reminds me quite a bit of stuff I saw my father do when he early retired in his 50s after discovering MMM.

Edit: There's been a lot of buzz about buy nothing exercises recently on the forums and I get the impression that a similar exercise could break you out of your current rut.

Scott 2
Posts: 2824
Joined: Sun Feb 12, 2012 10:34 pm

Re: What I Spend

Post by Scott 2 »

How did your father solve the problem?
white belt wrote:
Sun Aug 29, 2021 10:28 pm
there is definitely a pattern of you deferring problems until they snowball into much bigger issues

Along with the financial scarcity mindset that others have pointed out, the biggest things that jumps out to me is that I can't figure out what you actually enjoy doing.
I value the input. You highlight limiting qualities I have always demonstrated. I want to consider for a month or two, before responding. My wife enthusiastically agrees with your assessment, btw.

More food for thought - my strong impulse is to explain why you are wrong and justify the behaviors. How is that for repeating patterns? At least my journal is authentic.


FIRE absolutely increased my sense of financial scarcity. It is hard to overstate how much better life is. I value the freedom and growth tremendously. As does my wife. Jeopardizing it is the last thing we want.

With something to lose, financial fears are bigger. For the first time, we experience risks around healthcare, insurance, and inflation. My job made them irrelevant. I vastly underappreciated that aspect of employment.

The new approach to budgeting is good, in that it bounds those fears. With a protected space, I am able to consider investments in quality of life. Our current exercise is quite the opposite of buy nothing. In an attempt to force change, we are spending all discretionary money.

My high tolerance for ignoring problems makes buy nothing the easy out. I have been sitting on chronic elbow pain for over a year. Yeah, it hurts. Whatever. Sometimes life just be that way. For me - consuming effectively is a much harder challenge.

white belt
Posts: 1452
Joined: Sat May 21, 2011 12:15 am

Re: What I Spend

Post by white belt »

@Scott 2

I'm not so sure my father has fully solved the problem to this day. He's been retired for 9 years and my parents' household spending is about $55-60k a year. He spends a lot of time consuming, just much more efficiently than in his years prior to discovering the FIRE movement. He still likes chasing deals and buying in bulk. He watches a lot of netflix shows, walks a lot, reads a lot, and my parents both go to restaurants as a form of entertainment. During pre-Covid times my parents had trips to Europe every other year along with domestic travel a few times a year. Looking at the ERE WL chart, that level of spending and behavior puts him between WL3 and WL4, which seems about right.

I don't know your personality type, but I'm an INTJ and I believe my father to be one as well. He spent years as a software developer, which I think really scratched the INTJ itch to work on complex problems. I don't know that he's found a good replacement for that in retirement. For a few years he had a FIRE blog that mostly focused on travel hacking and other WL 3/4 stuff but he gave that up for some unknown reason (I think a lot of his motivation was to have another source of income). He did some coding projects for fun. My parents downsized to a 2 bedroom city apartment, so there aren't very many opportunities or space for DIY projects. My mom usually does almost all of the cooking so most days I really think my father just putters around in a similar way to how it sounds like you spent your first few months in retirement. Certainly a much less stressful life than working full-time, but I do get the sense that he is slightly bored and sometimes even creates problems to solve since he doesn't really have an outlet for that part of his brain. Hell, I get bored after spending more than a weekend there if I don't bring along projects to work on.

I was fortunate to discover the ERE book when I was an impressionable teenager, which means I wasn't entirely set in my ways when engaging with the ideas like my father probably was after spending 30 years living a consumerist lifestyle. In that way, the ideas are much easier to wrap my head around, but it still took me a decade to even understand that ERE is about more than just being frugal to get freedom. I also have time to germinate on these ideas while still working full time, rather than confronting them like a brick wall in retirement. I do think some of my recent ideas are starting to rub off on him. At least discussing the realities of climate change has led him to reading some more books about the topic.

I guess my point is that having intimate knowledge of your own personality will help you to design a lifestyle that matches you. I think a mistake common in the FIRE sphere is an individual copying the lifestyle of Jacob or MMM or FIRE guru x, without thinking about what he/she really wants. It's much easier to transpose someone else's desires as your own desires than to do the soul-searching and figure out your own purpose in life. Most of the consumerist culture is just spending money because you think it will make you happy instead of having to face the daunting question of what actually makes you happy.

Another parallel I often think of is what happens to celebrities who achieve widespread fame and success. I had a discussion with my friend about how achieving everything you want in life can actually be thought of as almost a curse. This is because our typical culture doesn't do a good job of enabling the individual to determine their own purpose in life (as stated above). I'm not sure if you listen to hip-hop music so this example may be lost on you, but look at what happened to someone like Mac Miller. He achieved widespread fame and success as a teenager. He literally accomplished all of the stereotypical things that people dream about: mansions, fancy cars, beautiful women, fancy travel destinations, widespread fame. But if you listen to his final album prior to his drug overdose death, called "Swimming", his tone is mature and quite dark compared to his earlier songs like "Knock Knock". Another good example song is Post Malone's "Rich and Sad". From the song "2009" by Mac Miller (refers to the year he became famous):
Mac Miller wrote:And sometimes, sometimes I wish I took a simpler route
Instead of havin' demons that's as big as my house, mhmm
Have a ball with a dribble and bounce
'Cause the party ain't over 'til they're kickin' me out, yeah
Isn't it funny? We can make a lot of money
Buy a lot of things just to feel a lot of ugly
I was yea high and muddy
Lookin' for what was lookin' for me

This is not something that the average person ever needs to contend with because they spend their entire life (perhaps until their deathbed) thinking "If I just had X, I would be happy". You don't have to deal with the stresses of fame and extreme wealth, so in that way the typical FIRE person has it easier than the celebrity trope. However, given the number of FIRE people who go back to work out of dissatisfaction or boredom in retirement, there are some parallels buried in there.

classical_Liberal
Posts: 2283
Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2016 6:05 am

Re: What I Spend

Post by classical_Liberal »

@scott2

Just because you don't want to DIY, doesn't mean you can't benefit from Wheaton progression. I quoted J+G because he has often stated the same distain for DIY.

DIY is one means to independence. However, where independence is lacking, interdependence can fill the holes. Sometimes I think it's a much better solution to most problems. Then, of course, there is spillover from other excess that can be used. Money the most obvious. But there are sooo many others.

IDK, maybe you're not bored enough yet? Still recouping from years of brown or burnout? But fixing shit by throwing money at it is boring as hell.

General life maintenance seems to take me 3ish hours per day (including fitness). I LOVE good sleep, so maybe another 9 hours there. That still leaves half the day, everyday. I have enough to throw money at almost everything, but man, I need stuff to do too. That's all I'm saying. Generally, if you find ways to fix problems or satisfy desires, with the time excess instead of the money excess, you'll feel more fulfilled.

PS thanks for the welcome back! :D

Scott 2
Posts: 2824
Joined: Sun Feb 12, 2012 10:34 pm

Re: What I Spend

Post by Scott 2 »

I appreciate the input guys. I will go in circles talking instead of acting, so I am going to wait a month or two before digging back in. In short - probably an INTJ, while not a hip hop fan - I agree, interdependence=Stephen Covey, yesterday's gym visit took 5 hours from wake to home, and never bored.

August 2021 Total (Couple) - $2997
Healthcare/Medical - $1017
Home Maintenance - $636
Groceries - $497
Exercise - $334
Utilities - $285
Entertainment - $114
Automotive - $74
Restaurants - $22
Streaming - $19

The planned budget was $3050. We were in ongoing conversation over the month and ran $53 under. Now that my wife has full information, she is killing it. We are collaborating really well.

Like mentioned previously, within the budget, we are spending any discretionary money. Not worth itemizing, but about 20% of this month was optional. We are both investing in things to do at home. With Covid-19 being endemic, it is likely our Fall and Winter become socially distanced. This month definitely bled off some financial pressure. September will release quite a bit more - about $750 is allocated to optional stuff.

What I find most interesting, is how strongly restaurants dropped off. An $8 burrito or $20 pizza feels pretty reasonable. Competing against our other wants - almost never worth it. The plummeting fast casual quality has not helped. Long waits, poorly made food, over crowding. It's just not fun.

We have planned $3103 of spend for September.


Rolling 12 Month Spend (Couple) - $50,858
Up about $1200. With a target of $57,000 by March 2021, this is on track.

The irrational market has net worth higher than ever. The money doesn't feel real. Is the value of my dollar inflated away? Is the return to mean looming? Probably. When? I have no idea. Our withdrawal rate tests out well, so I blindly follow the plan. Very grateful for the time I spent analyzing and re-analyzing.

Jin+Guice
Posts: 1279
Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2018 8:15 am

Re: What I Spend

Post by Jin+Guice »

Hey, just wanted to chime in. I've had a bit of a change of heart on DIY, but I had to change my thinking before I did. I am really fucking lazy, but there is one thing I hate more than doing work and that is being bored (shout out to paid work for being bored af at work).

Anyway, since I've started trying to learn how to do a bunch of the shit I was paying for I've become drastically more engaged with the world. It's just a more interesting place when you're like "how the fuck does shampoo actually work" or "what nutrients will keep these vile fucking bugs from eating 100% of my tomato plants." Two critical elements for me have been 1) Involving other people by doing projects with them or seeking expert help (I am an xNTP though, so more social than a lot of people on this forum)f and 2) finding a healthy balance between research (mostly reading for me) and experimentation (let's see what happens if I moisturize my face with coconut oil for a week). The motivation is not financial, because I could easily pay for all of this shit forever without doing any of this work. Sometimes you discover that some things are worth paying for or some transactions are just easier with money. But, what I'm doing makes no sense if your mindset is "optimize money making through work to have as much self directed time as possible."

Successfully growing/ scavenging food and trading for shelter has made me feel way more financially secure. I think the feeling of "oh, fuck, now I have something to lose and suddenly care about the stock market" is hard for a lot of people, myself included. Being able to extract resources non-financially has been a huge help in this department. Also, plug for semi-ERE, having a current source of income from employment is a huge help. To get motivation for this you have to get out of the mindset of optimizing for money, which also leads to thinking that working is for getting money to consume buyable products and services (and saving) as well as score keeping and maximizing income and net worth. It's a process to get there, but discovering one IRL hobby that has some potential to reduce expenses is a good place to start (for me it was cooking and women, which lead to gardening and fashion, which lead to...).

Also, I think a decompression period is necessary for a lot of people. MMM and Jacob seem like they kind of skipped this and got right to work doing other things, but they also both seemed to enjoy their paid employment period and both seemed to leave without total burnout. The optimization mindset is a linear mindset of progress, which doesn't allow for periods of different things. Playing golf, banging hookers and abusing drugs is probably not a fulfilling or even fun way to spend 30-50 years, but it's probably a great way to spend 1-2.

Scott 2
Posts: 2824
Joined: Sun Feb 12, 2012 10:34 pm

Re: What I Spend

Post by Scott 2 »

I will follow up on the non-financials in a separate post.


September 2021 Total (Couple) - $2911
Groceries - $767
Healthcare/Medical - $744
Exercise - $527
Home Maintenance - $366
Pets/Pet Care - $301
Utilities - $211
Entertainment - $107
Clothing/Shoes - $41
Automotive - $36
Restaurants - $29
Streaming - $18
Taxes - $0
Phone/Email - $0
Video Games - $0
Travel (refund) - ($75)
Exercise (sold equipment) - ($160)

About $200 under our planned budget of $3103. Category level had several overages. Mid-month, we were trending to exceed budget by a couple hundred. While real time adjustment is not the plan, some course correction did happen. Notables:

1. Exercise is indulgently high. Two gym memberships, swimming kit for my wife, and lifting toys for me. Selling a lifting toy offset things, but this was heavy use of discretionary spending. The hope is we continue moving through winter, even if social distancing rules tighten.

2. Pet care - $300 for an annual cat physical, immunizations and senior blood work. The vet is independent, highly experienced and 5 minutes from our house. We are paying him a premium, about $80 more than I expected.

3. Groceries - I planned to buy 10lbs of protein. The best deal was on 20. I cooked with cheaper ingredients to make up the difference.

4. My wife's plan to paint a room fell through, which is the primary source of our underage.

5. Comcast pricing games resulted in prepaying $50 of internet service. This month's bill - $40. Next month's bill - $66!!!. I generally opt out of these games and we strongly considered switching entirely to cell data.

However, after cancelling the service, and then signing my wife up instead - next month's bill will be $20. And we get a $100 rebate in 16 weeks. $140 for a year of service is hard to argue with. I disabled payments on the old account and will be surprised if it resolves cleanly.


Overall, the new budgeting process is working well. Most financial stress is us versus the problem. Some old habits are dying hard. I struggled with assigning sale of "my" lifting toy back into the shared pot. My wife was hesitant to leave "her" painting budget unspent. We both got there in the end.


Next month, the plan is $3242. We'll carry forward this month's underage and try to spend it all.

Budgeted separately - the annual $2000 fee for my wife's doctor is due. He moved to concierge medicine last year. Due to my wife's complex medical history, abandoning the relationship would be extremely difficult. Not a financial risk I ever planned for, but one I feel fortunate we can afford.


Rolling 12 Month Spend (Couple) - $52,156
Up by about $1300 and on trend to our target of $57,000 by March 2021.

The recent market contraction has our net worth down. I remind myself the "big" change is a small percentage and our plan accounts for the risk.

Scott 2
Posts: 2824
Joined: Sun Feb 12, 2012 10:34 pm

Re: What I Spend

Post by Scott 2 »

I have been reflecting on the quoted conversations.
white belt wrote:
Sun Aug 29, 2021 10:28 pm
there is definitely a pattern of you deferring problems until they snowball into much bigger issues
...
Along with the financial scarcity mindset that others have pointed out, the biggest things that jumps out to me is that I can't figure out what you actually enjoy doing
...
but what exactly does resonate with you in those remaining 14 hours of your day?
...
been a lot of buzz about buy nothing exercises recently on the forums and I get the impression that a similar exercise could break you out of your current rut.
...
having intimate knowledge of your own personality will help you to design a lifestyle that matches you
...
achieving everything you want in life can actually be thought of as almost a curse
classical_Liberal wrote:
Mon Aug 30, 2021 6:33 pm
Just because you don't want to DIY, doesn't mean you can't benefit from Wheaton progression.
...
DIY is one means to independence. However, where independence is lacking, interdependence can fill the holes.
...
IDK, maybe you're not bored enough yet? Still recouping from years of brown or burnout? But fixing shit by throwing money at it is boring as hell.
...
Generally, if you find ways to fix problems or satisfy desires, with the time excess instead of the money excess, you'll feel more fulfilled.
Jin+Guice wrote:
Fri Sep 03, 2021 8:39 am
since I've started trying to learn how to do a bunch of the shit I was paying for I've become drastically more engaged with the world.
...
Two critical elements for me have been 1) Involving other people by doing projects with them or seeking expert help
...
) finding a healthy balance between research (mostly reading for me) and experimentation
...
The motivation is not financial, because I could easily pay for all of this shit forever without doing any of this work.
...
Being able to extract resources non-financially has been a huge help
...
lso, plug for semi-ERE, having a current source of income from employment is a huge help. To get motivation for this you have to get out of the mindset of optimizing for money
...
discovering one IRL hobby that has some potential to reduce expenses is a good place to start
...
Also, I think a decompression period is necessary for a lot of people.
...
Playing golf, banging hookers and abusing drugs is probably not a fulfilling or even fun way to spend 30-50 years, but it's probably a great way to spend 1-2.

Some observations of the past:

1. My career was defined by the pursuit of freedom from, instead of freedom to. I literally picked my profession under the assumption of "I know I'll be miserable, so I might as well maximize pay." As a result, I picked work that does not serve who I am as a person. Financial insecurity and fear kept me focused, but I was often unhappy. I think this contributed to the tremendous relief I felt when stopping.

It also caused a large amount of hiding behaviors while working, leading to patterns of saying no by default and deferring non-urgent problems. After leaving, I confused those behaviors with things I truly enjoyed. My early decompression was characterized by unbroken pursuit of dopamine, driven out of the freedom from mindset.

2. One way this hiding manifested, was a tendency to anchor on knowing about something, instead of knowing it through action. Example - read a book about vegetarian cooking, then order pizza for dinner. With a freedom from mindset, this pattern feels productive (internet forums!). In reality, rather than living life, I was often just an observer. The pattern was reinforced over and over. Work was one rare topics where my knowing went beyond the surface level, hence the large hole upon its removal. Outsourcing everything exaggerated this.

3. With the new budgeting process, money as a stressors has dramatically reduced. This will be the first month where I have to force planned spending. I might not get to it. With that pressure lifted, financial insecurity was clearly persisting as strong motivator. This was blurring the line between money as a side effect and money as a goal. I am not prepared for a buy nothing, but buy less may be emergent.


What is changing:

1. After optimizing my LinkedIn over the past two months, yesterday I put it on hibernate. Not for lack of success - every day or two, a recruiter hit me up looking to fill a full time position. I could see part time options on Indeed. I found myself consistently hoping things didn't work out. The core realization - I don't want the people who want me. I stopped my career because I was unhappy. But, someone drawn to my LinkedIn profile or current resume, is looking for more of what did not serve me. Using LinkedIn also directly conflicts with removal of social media from my life. The entire system is opposed to what I want.

2. I am trying to say yes by default, instead of no. It is a path towards interdependence. This means some time spent on things that are not "fun". I have been helping my parents with their retirement planning. I took on more household chores, so my wife could provide extra help to a sick family member. Yesterday I helped clean for that same family member (even though my house is dirty!). I am doing more driving for my wife, so she can do more with her limited energy pool.

3. I am paying more attention to opportunities for freedom to. Follow through is hard for me, but this gets at both my deferred problems and doing things I like. This month - we are going to a new forest or park every week, a Halloween event, swimming twice a week, seeing friends or family every week, etc. I also set a gym schedule that has me out of the house 3 of 4 workouts per week. I am lifting on a structured program, doing the warmup, recovery and deloads that will make my joints stop hurting. DIY remains on this list, but is so far aspirational - fixing a toilet, doorbell and garage door opener. It's possible that short list sees some action.

4. I have been doing coding challenges. Originally, this started as a "big tech?" question, but at some point became a puzzle game. It does a good job of scratching the itch for complexity and could eventually offer money as a side effect. In short - I could see myself becoming fully engaged in functional programming, using work as a means for interactions with high level experts in the field. This is a "become the person you want to be around" type of pursuit. Maybe work results as a freedom to activity?

5. I am accepting atrophy of my former professional skills. I don't want to lead teams of people. I don't want to work from midnight to 7am on highly stressful production releases. Coming to terms means accepting loss of identity, one I had chosen largely for freedom from reasons. I think it is a key component of engaging with my freedom to. Ego remains attached to that prior identity. Releasing it will create space for other pursuits.

6. My default nature is to compare, contrast and criticize. I am trying to reign this in. Ideally, I enjoy what is and empathize with the motivations of others instead. IMO it is an obvious derivation of leaving freedom from and embracing freedom to. My hope is the nature becomes emergent from my other changes.


I have spent 12 of the last 14 months not working. For me, this is a slow process.

zbigi
Posts: 978
Joined: Fri Oct 30, 2020 2:04 pm

Re: What I Spend

Post by zbigi »

Scott 2 wrote:
Sat Oct 16, 2021 1:50 pm
1. After optimizing my LinkedIn over the past two months, yesterday I put it on hibernate. Not for lack of success - every day or two, a recruiter hit me up looking to fill a full time position. I could see part time options on Indeed. I found myself consistently hoping things didn't work out. The core realization - I don't want the people who want me. I stopped my career because I was unhappy. But, someone drawn to my LinkedIn profile or current resume, is looking for more of what did not serve me. Using LinkedIn also directly conflicts with removal of social media from my life. The entire system is opposed to what I want.
Unfortunately, I too don't see freelance as a viable option for retirement. A typical IT project requires so much work that getting someone, even an expert, for a month or two is barely going to move the needle (esp. with the required ramp-up). There are supposedly some freelance jobs on upwork.com and similar sites, but it looks like a total meat market. I'd be glad to talk to someone who managed to make it work, but I've never met such a person.
Also, IIRC, you're in management? It would make freelancing even more difficult. My ex-boss has a company which specialized in IT management consulting, with his main customer being the Polish government (apparently they liked having high-level external consultants telling them what to do). After that well went dry, he switched to running a typical IT body shop, as no one else was interested.

Scott 2
Posts: 2824
Joined: Sun Feb 12, 2012 10:34 pm

Re: What I Spend

Post by Scott 2 »

zbigi wrote:
Mon Oct 18, 2021 4:03 am
Unfortunately, I too don't see freelance as a viable option for retirement.
I definitely did not find linkedIn a good source. I was exploring with 20 hours per a week as my cap. There's a good chance I'd outperform a lot of FTE's on that, but the concept doesn't slot cleanly into a recruiter's model.

From what I could find, there are a few viable paths:

1. Part-time from your prior employer. This is the easiest. I was offered it on my way out. I did not and still do not want it. I left for reasons. The work could have been interesting.

2. Taking a full time remote job, putting in a part time week. If you are good enough, it will be tolerated. I don't want to be that person. It won't be interesting work due to the constraints.

3. Developing an authority based business, where you become expert in a very small niche. This looks the most viable, but requires establishing the authority. Writing, talks, training others, scaling that, etc. I suppose taking an interest in something like functional programming could head me there. There are probably topics I could head this direction in today, but I guess it is not compelling to me.

4. Doing low end, race to the bottom work - part time postings on Indeed, Upwork jobs, etc. I did not find myself excited for the prospect.

zbigi
Posts: 978
Joined: Fri Oct 30, 2020 2:04 pm

Re: What I Spend

Post by zbigi »

Scott 2 wrote:
Mon Oct 18, 2021 9:00 am
3. Developing an authority based business, where you become expert in a very small niche. This looks the most viable, but requires establishing the authority. Writing, talks, training others, scaling that, etc. I suppose taking an interest in something like functional programming could head me there. There are probably topics I could head this direction in today, but I guess it is not compelling to me.
That would be a multi-year journey IMO. I'm currently in functional programming world, have been at it for over a year now and still feel like a beginner (granted, I learn much slower at a job than when between jobs with sole purpose of upskilling). The subjects is difficult, deep and full of esoterica. I've been working with guys who are passionate about it, have been at it for good couple years now, and still don't seem to get any sweet short-term consulting engagements.
I wonder who do you foresee as clients for this skillset exactly? My team is doing FP and we've never even considered hiring an FP consultant. I can't see that happening, since most of the team is salivating at the idea of working with FP and they'd kill any management initiatives for hiring external help (as that would mean less play for them).
It's probably best to be consultant in something either hopelessly boring, so that the team is grateful for your contribution, or in something that is rarely needed and team has zero skills in - such as pen testing. Come to think of it, pentesters were the only external short-term consultants we've hired over the period of ~4 years I've been on the project.
4. Doing low end, race to the bottom work - part time postings on Indeed, Upwork jobs, etc. I did not find myself excited for the prospect.
Same here. Seems like a step-down from having a regular job, in terms of both pay and working conditions.

ducknald_don
Posts: 322
Joined: Thu Dec 17, 2020 12:31 pm
Location: Oxford, UK

Re: What I Spend

Post by ducknald_don »

It's probably easier if you specialise in a vertical niche like medical devices or aviation or oil and gas. Domain knowledge and a full address book can be very valuable.

FP or specific languages or databases are just too general to extract much value from.

Scott 2
Posts: 2824
Joined: Sun Feb 12, 2012 10:34 pm

Re: What I Spend

Post by Scott 2 »

zbigi wrote:
Mon Oct 18, 2021 9:38 am
That would be a multi-year journey IMO. I wonder who do you foresee as clients for this skillset exactly?
Short answer - I don't know. I am shallow in the FP space. Pure functions and immutability are still novel. Currying is my most recent topic of the day. I haven't pursed authority in my areas of expertise. I agree it would be a several year process, requiring sustained interest and probably a period of full time work. If I was that into it, maybe the work wouldn't feel like work.

As a consumer - I observe part time opportunities for a SME come from helping others do the thing. It starts with free stuff - participating in user groups, giving local talks, volunteering for professional groups. That chains into helping with or running paid regional trainings. I have a PMP cert. My company spent a lot over the years, for multi-day courses to get me PDUs. The instructors were often part-time, semi-retired. At the pinnacle, they'd tie a course into the start or end of a national conference. From what I understand those people are also invited in for private corporate events.

I think this guy is full time, but Pinal Dave comes to mind on the SQL side: https://www.pinaldave.com/

At one point I had a publisher reach out to me, looking for expert reviewers on their PMP book. It wasn't a good fit at the time, but content production needs credentials to slap on their products. That's another avenue I could see. On the FP side - maybe someone engaged in a niche open source product could have this opportunity? I know books don't pay well, but they do add to perceived authority.

From what I've observed in the devops space - established authorities trade between the same clusters of companies, moving from high level position to high level position. This is obviously full time, but with the added benefit of outsized comp, working with top tier people.

ducknald_don wrote:
Mon Oct 18, 2021 10:47 am
It's probably easier if you specialise in a vertical niche like medical devices or aviation or oil and gas. Domain knowledge and a full address book can be very valuable.
Agreed. I loosely wonder if this is the path to board positions. I don't think I'm that type of guy, but it always struck me as an interesting career trajectory.

white belt
Posts: 1452
Joined: Sat May 21, 2011 12:15 am

Re: What I Spend

Post by white belt »

Scott 2 wrote:
Mon Oct 18, 2021 3:39 pm
As a consumer - I observe part time opportunities for a SME come from helping others do the thing. It starts with free stuff - participating in user groups, giving local talks, volunteering for professional groups. That chains into helping with or running paid regional trainings. I have a PMP cert. My company spent a lot over the years, for multi-day courses to get me PDUs. The instructors were often part-time, semi-retired. At the pinnacle, they'd tie a course into the start or end of a national conference. From what I understand those people are also invited in for private corporate events.
I have a CISSP cert, so not quite the same but similar. I researched a little bit into picking up some part-time teaching gigs as there seemed to be demand for instructors. The scheduling didn’t work out but most of the gigs were remote or at least minimal in-person time. From my research I came up with 3 paths:

1. Work for an established test prep company who is looking for part-time instructors. This requires minimal planning/management, but also will have lower pay.

2. Create your own online course or similar resources. Lots of work up front, very fierce competition, but more flexibility and possibly more pay.

3. Focus on in-person teaching/tutoring if you live in an area with high demand. This will be similar to tutoring other subjects, but it means you are cutting out the race to the bottom competition that happens with the internet.

It seems like you came up with some other possibilities as well. You also have to factor in the cost of maintaining your certification since you’ll be paying your own dues for option 2 and 3.

Scott 2
Posts: 2824
Joined: Sun Feb 12, 2012 10:34 pm

Re: What I Spend

Post by Scott 2 »

It's been about two weeks since I disabled LinkedIn. Maybe it should have been obvious, but the social media was a negative influence. Watching a steady stream of curated achievements makes me want to compete. Without that constant input, my post-career life feels better.

I am still doing the code challenges occasionally, but eased off forcing at least one exercise per day. If it happens and I have fun, that's cool.


October offered some tests of our budgeting process:

1. The microwave failed. Most likely a door switch. Possibly repairable, but we were also living with a broken turn table. And we wanted the ability to mute it. I went down the "how do I fix this?" rabbit hole, before we decided to simply replace. $140 later, I wish we'd done it years ago.

2. My first impulse was to try and recover the unplanned spend from money already allocated in October. It became clear that undermines the monthly budgeting process. Taking from prior allocations creates a scarcity mindset. "I better spend this before something else comes up!". Or maybe worse - "I can't spend this, what if something comes up???".

3. Complicating this, we had allocated $150 for my discretionary spending. By the last week of October, I'd barely touched it. Shopping is a hassle. I overthink everything and hate it when a purchase isn't perfect. I had to force it and accept sub-par purchases are worth trying to make life better.

4. Looking towards absorbing the microwave overage in November, it became clear finances will get tight around the holidays. Fortunately, we are using a 3 month forward looking window to plan. For whatever reason, almost no irregular recurring expenses hit in January. So, we decided to smooth cash flow by pulling some of the January budget into November and December of this year.

I feel like we are learning to use money as a tool, rather than hoard it out of fear or pursuit of a high score.


Health insurance and medical care remains an issue. My annual physical was this month. I brought in a list of minor issues and annoyances. But, since my deductible is crazy high, our discussion was "is it high risk? no? let's ignore it". So other than some basic blood work, and a precedent for future referrals, I have little to show from the experience.

I don't feel good about paying $412 a month to have this as my healthcare strategy. I feel held hostage by threat of medical bankruptcy, forced to spend all my preventive care dollars on catastrophic insurance. The high deductible PPO offers almost no practical benefit. Crossing a doctor's threshold starts at $200. If they touch me or want a test??? I'll find out the additional $$$ - $$$$ I owe in 6-8 weeks.

I am going to review HMO options next month, as well as consider trying to hit the income level for cost sharing. I cannot imagine the current American healthcare system is sustainable long term. Limiting my Roth conversions until sanity prevails may be the optimal choice.


Similarly - my (carefully chosen) dentist went out of network for my dental insurance, with zero notice. I selected the insurance specifically because he was in network, making it the most affordable way to access his services. So frustrating.

RealPerson
Posts: 875
Joined: Thu Nov 22, 2012 4:33 pm

Re: What I Spend

Post by RealPerson »

Medical insurance: I am in the same boat. I have moved all my predictable (non-emergency) medical care to Mexico and absolutely love the care there. Low cost, high quality and easily accessible. But I am still stuck with the plan itself to cover the risk of emergency care. A partial solution but so much better than seeking routine care in the US.

I also think it is a moral obligation to seek care elsewhere to reduce the fleecing by the medical industrial complex in the US. Part of being an ERE disciple.

7Wannabe5
Posts: 9372
Joined: Fri Oct 18, 2013 9:03 am

Re: What I Spend

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

Yeah, unfortunately, it's gotten to the point that spending at least a couple days a year researching health insurance options and regulations "pays" at least the same very high hourly wage as researching current tax code.

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