Would you give your kids money for college or life?

How to explain ERE, arranging family matters
white belt
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Joined: Sat May 21, 2011 12:15 am

Re: Would you give your kids money for college or life?

Post by white belt »

mooretrees wrote:
Tue Sep 20, 2022 2:58 pm
I don't agree that this 'kneecap's one social capital at all! I think this might be true if social capital were a difficult thing for the individual to develop and the college network was strong. I think social capital can be very independent of any formal education setting. I've moved several times and this last location is where my social capital is the most developed. For example, last week I stopped by to visit with a farmer friend, helped her harvest some basil and walked away with a lot of veggies. I didn't go in expecting any veggies, just wanted to say hi. I shared the huge bag of basil with my upstairs neighbor and now two families have yummy pesto in their freezer. No mentions were made of anyone's college.......and yet social capital still functioned :lol:
Perhaps I'm speaking too much from anecdote. However, I have moved an average of once every 12-18 months for the past 7 years. I attended a public university and almost my entire social group was/is people from the local area, who decided to stay in that same local area after graduating. I don't think you can compare social capital of a person who's family has lived 2-3 generations in one area with that of someone who travels around every few years for work, although certainly one can develop social capital if they put effort in. I also don't think friendly neighbors or coworkers function on the same level as friends that you have spent thousands or tens of thousands of hours with.

However, I also understand not everyone makes a strong group of friends in college, although I think one should strive for that. College is way too expensive if all you're getting out of it is knowledge that can be gained from a few textbooks you get from the library.

The more extroverted one is, the easier it is to link into social networks in a new area. So an extroverted teenager may not need the social network associated with college as much as say an introvert would. My point is, from a systems perspective, you are introducing a lot of friction by moving around frequently. That's not to say you can't create a system that thrives in that situation, it's just to say it will require more effort than if you stay in one area. I understand it is the norm to chase job offers across the country, not everyone likes where they grew up, personal situations vary, etc etc.

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Re: Would you give your kids money for college or life?

Post by mooretrees »

i don't disagree with the main point you make, that stability increases your ability to make strong social connections. Absolutely agree with that perspective. As a strong extrovert, social capital is sorta my jam. However, it was a long time in coming after the last move. I don't have the interest in doing another move again, despite my concerns about setting up my son to live in a wildfire prone area. Since I'm on the fence about paying for college, I'm somewhat daydreaming of providing him with access to land/resources that might be harder to come by in the future. I've seen it happen that kids return to small towns/rural areas after escaping to the big city because the family land provides options that are attractive at some point.

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