How to introduce a (willing) partner to personal finance/FIRE?
How to introduce a (willing) partner to personal finance/FIRE?
Hey ya'll! So looks like over getting to know my primary partner, I've found out she's bisexual, into kink, polyamorous after we thought about relationships together, raw vegan (now simply vegan), enjoys yoga/the outdoors/being fit, doesn't want children or marriage or pets, wants to travel long-term, and is open to learning about personal finance/FIRE. Looks like I've met a rare person friends! <3 <3 <3
I've also found out that her family situation is a bit of a train wreck at the moment, with parents paying for college only if she agrees to go to med school, and expecting her to attain a lucrative career so that she can help pay for her parent's retirement and the education of her siblings. If any of you ever read any of my family-related posts, this is similar to my "immigrant's bargain" situation with my parents, though I nipped it in the bud a few years ago by saying no (I could do that ASAP because my parents weren't the one paying for my schooling, though). At the moment, she has an "I hate money" relationship with money because it has only caused tension and stress throughout her life growing up with parents that told her she would learn about it "eventually" while concurrently not being very good stewards of money themselves.
Anyway, my PP has asked me to introduce her to personal finance, and I'm wondering how to go about doing that in a way that is engaging yet still comprehensive? The way I introduced poly was by 1. stating off the bat that I don't know everything, 2. stating that it's a shared learning experience with both of us needing to put in effort, and 3. talking completely honestly about different topics and reading books on the subject together.
Maybe that should be the same with PF/Fire? I was thinking an easy book like YMOYL, or The Simple Path to Wealth - What are your thoughts? Got any resource/book suggestions?
I've also found out that her family situation is a bit of a train wreck at the moment, with parents paying for college only if she agrees to go to med school, and expecting her to attain a lucrative career so that she can help pay for her parent's retirement and the education of her siblings. If any of you ever read any of my family-related posts, this is similar to my "immigrant's bargain" situation with my parents, though I nipped it in the bud a few years ago by saying no (I could do that ASAP because my parents weren't the one paying for my schooling, though). At the moment, she has an "I hate money" relationship with money because it has only caused tension and stress throughout her life growing up with parents that told her she would learn about it "eventually" while concurrently not being very good stewards of money themselves.
Anyway, my PP has asked me to introduce her to personal finance, and I'm wondering how to go about doing that in a way that is engaging yet still comprehensive? The way I introduced poly was by 1. stating off the bat that I don't know everything, 2. stating that it's a shared learning experience with both of us needing to put in effort, and 3. talking completely honestly about different topics and reading books on the subject together.
Maybe that should be the same with PF/Fire? I was thinking an easy book like YMOYL, or The Simple Path to Wealth - What are your thoughts? Got any resource/book suggestions?
Last edited by TopHatFox on Sun Nov 06, 2016 5:04 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Re: How to introduce a (willing) partner to personal finance/FIRE?
Start off with engaging material, then move onto comprehensiveness. The easiest way to get someone new into FIRE is probably just sharing articles on Mr. Money Mustache. He may make FIRE seem more easy and fun than it is really is, but he gets people hooked!
Re: How to introduce a (willing) partner to personal finance/FIRE?
I like to introduce people to investing/personal finance by talking about how money creates money.
Good relevant example might be your school's endowment fund, simply by having money they can generate income forever.
Then introduce the concept of tracking expenses with online tools like mint or personal capital, and then from there you can help her
place her first investment!
Focus on how having money is the ultimate freedom, the ability to spend your precious time doing thing you love and desire instead of
toiling away at other people's goals and desires!
Good relevant example might be your school's endowment fund, simply by having money they can generate income forever.
Then introduce the concept of tracking expenses with online tools like mint or personal capital, and then from there you can help her
place her first investment!
Focus on how having money is the ultimate freedom, the ability to spend your precious time doing thing you love and desire instead of
toiling away at other people's goals and desires!
Re: How to introduce a (willing) partner to personal finance/FIRE?
If the reason she hates money is because it is the tool her parents use to control her, then you might do well showing how she can move though from:
- being controlled by money
- to controlling money
- to eventually purchasing the freedom from having to think about the controlled/controlling aspects of money
People subjugate themselves to this type of control because they are born into it and it has been gradually, incrementally taught as a habit. It is hard to break lifelong habits. Go slowly. Start with the simplest things. Monthly income and expenses. Show her how you are free. Show her how you became free. Encourage her to throw out crazy ideas about how she might do the same.
- being controlled by money
- to controlling money
- to eventually purchasing the freedom from having to think about the controlled/controlling aspects of money
People subjugate themselves to this type of control because they are born into it and it has been gradually, incrementally taught as a habit. It is hard to break lifelong habits. Go slowly. Start with the simplest things. Monthly income and expenses. Show her how you are free. Show her how you became free. Encourage her to throw out crazy ideas about how she might do the same.
Re: How to introduce a (willing) partner to personal finance/FIRE?
Do you have any suggestions for MMM articles that might appeal to someone that is interested but otherwise has never thought about personal finance/FIRE?Lucky C wrote:Start off with engaging material, then move onto comprehensiveness. The easiest way to get someone new into FIRE is probably just sharing articles on Mr. Money Mustache. He may make FIRE seem more easy and fun than it is really is, but he gets people hooked!
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Re: How to introduce a (willing) partner to personal finance/FIRE?
You might also try moneyboss.com That's JD Roth's new blog. He's pretty solid on the basics/with beginners.
See, e.g. http://moneyboss.com/money-boss-101/
See, e.g. http://moneyboss.com/money-boss-101/
Re: How to introduce a (willing) partner to personal finance/FIRE?
This is the mmm post to share with a newbie, because it summarizes everything and provides links to the relevant articles:
http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2013/02/ ... blog-post/
http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2013/02/ ... blog-post/
Re: How to introduce a (willing) partner to personal finance/FIRE?
Your PP sounds like Brittany Taylor from 'Simple Living and Travel.' Brittany is raw vegan, polyamourous, into acrobats/yoga/outdoor life and is traveling long term. I love her youtube channel because she talks about minimalism, being happy with less and I think these are good foundations to FIRE. She doesn't talk about money too much but she recently put up this youtube video, maybe it's a good starting point on changing her relationship with money...that it's something you don't need to 'hate' but a tool to help achieve your goals.
'Why we love money'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3p_FXnsCC_o
'How I left my 9-5 job to live my dreams'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BkoWvJ4zYM
'Why we love money'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3p_FXnsCC_o
'How I left my 9-5 job to live my dreams'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BkoWvJ4zYM
Re: How to introduce a (willing) partner to personal finance/FIRE?
This Shockingly Simple Math article, though perhaps too simple and optimistic, helps beginners realize FIRE is mathematically possible and that MMM is not just some kind of too-good-to-be-true scammy site.Olaz wrote: Do you have any suggestions for MMM articles that might appeal to someone that is interested but otherwise has never thought about personal finance/FIRE?
http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/01/ ... etirement/
Another good article for the math/practical-minded type:
http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2011/10/ ... commuting/
And here is a quick summary of YMOYL:
http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/12/ ... your-life/
Pete also recently did a half hour presentation that sums up MMM nicely. For introducing someone to FIRE it doesn't get any easier than just watching a video.
https://worlddominationsummit.com/speak ... y-mustache
Re: How to introduce a (willing) partner to personal finance/FIRE?
Let her play with the fire calculator after reading some of those introductory articles/blogs listed above. http://www.firecalc.com