White Belt's Military Journey to FI

[white belt]

That's a 1.6% grade. After you get used to riding, this should be close to a nothing burger. IOW, after mounting the conversion kit, you might want to unmount it again after just a few months to save the weight. The $700 might be better spent on clipless pedals or straps or thinner tires.

Yes, I used to be very gung-ho about physical activity. I am in the army after all. However, 2 years on rotating shiftwork have lowered my perception of what is physically easy. Shiftwork sleep disorder is very real and basically has made me feel jet lagged almost every day for the past 2 years, with the resulting hormonal disruption, digestive system unease, and mental/physical fatigue that comes with it. Low motivation is one of the most common manifestations of shift work sleep disorder. My bigger concern is having to bike at uncommon hours and further disrupting my sleep cycle, because doing a cardio workout right before bed (as I do after biking home from the night shift) negatively impacts my already degraded sleep quality. Similarly, having to wake up at 3:30AM instead of 4AM so I can bicycle commute also degrades my sleep quality when on the day shift.

I looked it up and most of the brutal hill is 5-10% incline over the first .5 miles or so, which Google tells me is still pretty soft by cycling standards. The rest of the ride is a gentler incline. I'm in normal clothes on an 8-speed steel frame bike carrying my backpack on the rear rack weighed down with food, water, clothes, etc for the day. I broke a spoke on my rear wheel in the Fall when I was bike commuting, then failed at fixing it, then had to pay a bike shop to fix it. I do have strapless toe clips and that has helped to make a big difference.

Nevertheless, I was feeling more motivated over the past few days (perhaps because I've been able to stay on the same shift for a week longer than usual). So yesterday I biked the roundtrip to work. I made the adjustment to only bring plastic food containers (no Pyrex) and also cut weight by not carrying any water. That seemed to help things feel a bit lighter. On the ride back, I tried to stay patient and sit in my very low gears to get up the hill, instead of standing up and trying to grind through it. It maybe felt a bit better than expected. I got home and took a half shower (just water) to get the sweat off before going to sleep. I did not sleep well, but it's difficult to know if that had anything to do with the cycling or was unrelated.

I run into chafing issues whenever I start cycling after a long break from it. This time I tried using padding cycling shorts, but they did not make a difference. The chafing is on my inner thighs, and I believe is from my legs rubbing against the edge of the seat when I pedal. I'm not sure of a workaround for this, but I'm hoping it will go away after my body gets used to cycling again. I don't remember it being an issue before when I was cycling regularly, but also I didn't have toe clips at the time so perhaps the clips keep my feet slightly closer to the bike frame then they would be without them.

[white belt]

Even if not financially optimal, the ebike conversion lets you explore freedom to, immediately. You'd know if that's a viable long term transportation option. I like the idea.

Even if not going car free, there's value in having transportation redundancy.

Some might say - walk the bike up the hill.

I think I started down the ebike rabbithole when I was thinking about my post-retirement life living with DGF next year. We will be down to a one car household and it's possible she might have to use the car to commute to her residency at a hospital. So then, since I was bored at work, I started looking at motorcycles and scooters. I looked at ebikes too and realized they were $1-2k at the low end. Then I stumbled upon kits and realized I could convert my existing bike. Mostly though I was just doing some research and daydreaming. Now is not the right time for me to take the plunge, but it's nice to know the option is there.

[white belt]

Big Update

I am now engaged, so DGF has transitioned to DF! We are planning on eloping next month and then having a ceremony/reception next year. Luckily DF has a cousin with a nice lake house and event planning business, so we should be able to have a Tier 5 Wedding at significantly reduced cost. That seems to be the best compromise for all parties involved and fortunately DF's sister had the elaborate Tier 8 $50k wedding a few years ago, so her parents are still scarred from that experience.

In typical frugal fashion, the engagement ring is white topaz and cost around $80 with shipping. DF picked it out and says she is glad we decided on not getting a diamond because she would've always stressed about losing it. Her band was $13 and I will probably get one of those silicon bands because that works better for my active lifestyle.

We decided to just combine all finances because it didn't really make sense to try to keep everything separate. I have a net worth of ~$500k and make ~$100k a year. She has some medical school debt (although her first year of loans has an interest rate lower than current inflation rate). She owns a house that will net her ~$80k in tax-free profit when she sells it due to appreciation. She also makes $10k a year from renting out a room. I plan on transitioning to the reserves in a year, which means my income will drop to ~15k a year at the same time she starts residency making $70-80k a year. 5-6 years later she will likely make >$500k a year as a surgeon. In other words, trying to do anything resembling 50/50 split of income/expenses seems like an exercise in futility.

We will save a ton of money in taxes by filing jointly. In fact, between the extra housing allowance and the tax benefits, I think we'll save/make $15-20k for tax year 2023 compared to if we stayed single. The US bachelors on this forum might take note that one could easily pay for a spouse's entire cost of living just in tax savings if one has a high income and and the spouse has a low income. Of course that doesn't even factor in the myriad financial benefits of having a partner that can help to lower your cost of living.

[chenda]

Congratulations to you and soon-to-be Mrs white belt

[theanimal]

That’s great news. Congratulations!

Will you continue with your current split housing setup as planned until you enter the reserves?

[Ego]

Wonderful news!

[Sabaka]

Awesome news! As an aside I like that idea about the Silicone band... hate the feel of metal rings so that might be an idea I have to steal for myself!

[Scott 2]

Congrats. Big, positive changes coming. Excited for you.

I imagine DF intends to work as a surgeon for some time. And your location will need to follow her opportunities. How does that impact your own retirement plans?

In my own interactions with surgeons, it's one of the few times in life I've felt a status gap. Do you feel a pressure to keep pace somehow?

[white belt]

Thanks everyone!

Will you continue with your current split housing setup as planned until you enter the reserves?

Yes, although it is possible we will be able to combine households as early as January if I get accepted to a fully remote internship program. In the meantime, we'll still be paying for separate housing. DF's medical school graduation date is the same month that I will transition out, but between leave and the internship it means that I could be done a few months prior while still collecting my paycheck.

I imagine DF intends to work as a surgeon for some time. And your location will need to follow her opportunities. How does that impact your own retirement plans?

In my own interactions with surgeons, it's one of the few times in life I've felt a status gap. Do you feel a pressure to keep pace somehow?

One reason I'm leaving Active Duty is that it would be very difficult for us to live together while DF is in residency. Both careers require total commitment and location dependence. There are reserve units all over the country so I will be able to do that wherever we end up. Nevertheless, we feel like we have a high chance of ending up in the region we want and a decent chance of ending up in the city we want.

In terms of status gap, I'm not sure if you mean a pressure to maintain a certain social/financial status or you mean a pressure for me to keep up with DF's prestigious career in some way? For the former, DF is the frugal type and won't actually make a significant income until after residency and fellowships, which could take 5-6 years. Maybe at that point we will feel more pressure to maintain a certain status, but at the moment we don't really care and neither of us are very status driven people. DF certainly has classmates that fit that category though; they become doctors because they want to be rich, well-respected, and tell people what to do. For the latter, I'm pretty burned out from my "prestigious" career and I'm fine working on my own projects, so I don't really feel any pressure in that way. I have been very open about my early retirement plans with DF, so she knows that I will only be working part time so that I can pursue other interests at least for the first few years. I also have full GI bill benefits so there's always the option for me to pursue grad school at some point if I decide I want to start another career.

[Scott 2]

Yes, the prestigious career. The money and status reflect how she has to develop as a person.

Even earning the right to train as a surgeon takes talent and hard work. The trial of doing it forges a person. The next decade will force her into constant and maybe even accelerating growth.

Spending your next ten years puttering around might lead to diverging paths. Different expressions of potential. Say today:

1. She was inside 4 people, changing their lives forever. Another routine day at the office.

2. You worked out, harvested some micro greens and tried to bleed your disc brakes. It was a big day!

Those might not feel equal over time. Especially if she follows the common surgeon path, of working into one's 60's and beyond.

Currently, your trajectories have been more comparable. It's easy to envision a path where you earn a high rank in the military or lead in industry. Those experiences develop a person, perhaps in a comparable way. Stepping away is a potentially dramatic downshift.

Maybe because of the doctor patient power dynamic, but during my surgeon interactions, it's been very clear who is more important. Especially now that my days are so chill (lazy?). It's so obvious, it's not even worth acknowledging. Everyone knows.

Since retiring, I've also experienced some of my peers dramatically outpacing me in traditional measures. It's cool two years in, but I can see how I'm left behind in a decade.

Hence my wondering about your vision. Flip the gender roles, and it's certainly not unusual. Maybe it's even what you two are planning on. Your solutions tend to be creative though, so I asked.

[Western Red Cedar]

Big Update

I am now engaged, so DGF has transitioned to DF!

Congratulations! Wishing a happy and healthy future to both of you.

[mathiverse]

Congrats on the engagement, white belt!

[white belt]

Yes, the prestigious career. The money and status reflect how she has to develop as a person.

Well I should preface this by saying that from day 1, DF made it pretty clear she is perfectly fine with a house husband. I also made it pretty clear that I don't plan on staying full time in the Army forever and at some point would retire to pursue other interests. She understands that being a surgeon can be an all-consuming career; during residency she will be working 80 hour weeks and most surgeons work more than 40 hours a week for their whole careers. However, she also has some hobbies outside of work that she would like to maintain and isn't interested in being in the top percentile of income for surgeons. After residency, there are plenty of options to dial back the hours whether that be in administration, education, or taking on more irregular locums work. We have some ideas for adventures together like working a season in Antarctica (I'm inspired by some of the adventures of Mr. and Mrs. @Ego). We also don't plan on having children, which makes things a bit easier to manage but could of course change at some point because DF is only 26. DF decided to be a surgeon because she likes doing it and finds it really rewarding, not because she wants to be rich or because she wants society to admire her.

I still plan on pursuing part time work whether that be with my career in the reserves or my fledgling Magic: the Gathering business. We tend to split the cooking and some household chores when cohabitating, but DF is relieved that I enjoy dealing with things like managing our finances, planning for trips/activities, car maintenance, and so on. She is more of a big picture thinker (XNFJ) while I'm all about the details (INTJ). I think our roles fit our temperaments well. I think DF doesn't really mind what I do as long as I enjoy it and it can keep me occupied while she works her long hours.

I've never found myself feeling like a particular person is more important than me. Maybe it's because I'm used to the hierarchical military where everyone's "importance" is freely displayed on their chest? Even as an officer, I'm used to typically being the most junior in the room and it's never really affected me.

I have a rough game plan for what my first year in "retirement" will be, but I have no illusions that it will be an easy transition. Breaking up with a career is hard to do after all, which is why I'm easing the transition by staying in the reserves. The reserves helps to keep my clearance and skill intact while also giving me numerous connections, which means I have the option to (re)enter the highly lucrative defense industry at pretty much anytime. I also have the option of volunteering for additional assignments if I get the itch to do more Army stuff. I also have the option of pursuing grad school for free if I am interested in an entirely different industry.

Another factor that makes the financial aspects feel more equitable is that I will be supporting DF for at least the next year until she starts making a (low) salary as a resident. So yes, someday she will make more money than me, but it could take her a decade to reach my current net worth if she were going it alone. Of course, all of this is a moot point because we are combining finances, so we just have one pile of money to share, even if there are some individual accounts for tax and retirement purposes. Maybe I feel secure in such things because I know the option to resume the salaryman lifestyle is there if I need it?

[Scott 2]

That all sounds well considered. I appreciate that you're keeping a variety of options open. It's hard to predict how that first year of freedom will feel. Thanks for sharing.

I didn't think I cared about status. Until I left work and no longer had any. It was very unexpected. It was also the first time I looked up, to realize life paths had closed. By 40, some have dramatically better options and opportunities than others.

If I'm honest, fear of losing that optionality is a key reason I don't just play video games all day. In the moment, I'm pretty happy with an extremely simple life.

You've been working from a freedom to mindset and are more well rounded than I was. Your experience could be very different than mine.

[7Wannabe5]

Congratulations!

I'm quite certain you already know this, but relatively simple behavioral dynamics are more critical in signaling "status" or "maintenance of more masculine energy" than relative abstractions such as "who makes more money this year." It can even be levels upon levels upon levels. For instance, "driving the car" is the more dominant role than "passenger seat", but "passenger seat" may be thinking/behaving as if "I am simply delegating the role of 'driving the car' to you, but I am in charge of the trip." etc. etc. etc.

Many years ago I dated somebody who had been a semi-professional athlete and retired relatively early to be at-home single dad for his second son. He told me that the difference in behavior between stay-at-home-female and stay-at-home-male was maintaining focus on the perimeter, which is also one of the symptoms of higher vasopressin (related to male attachment) levels.

[basuragomi]

Congratulations! Could you picture a path where your DF becomes a medical officer and you have a slower transition out of the military?

[Dave]

Great stuff, congrats on the engagement WB !

I didn't think I cared about status. Until I left work and no longer had any. It was very unexpected.

To a small degree, this was true for me as well. I was a CPA, so not mega high status, but a decently respected member of society. When I moved on, I found that some % of people do in fact treat me differently. It's never been a huge deal to me, but I do feel a twinge every so often.

As I've become more successful in my main activity of investing I have found I care less and less, but there is something to @Scott 2's point in that it can be hard to know how you feel about something until it's gone.

Again, not that I expect this to happen to you, just wanted to share my perspective.

[mountainFrugal]

Congrats @white belt!

[Scott 2]

I share Dave's experience here. Over time, my "I am" has become more interesting than my "I was". I felt kinda like a bum, once the initial retirement euphoria wore off. That's no longer true, and I attribute it to intentional growth.

[ertyu]

+1 on the congrats. Good luck to fiance pursuing her career and good luck to you exploring wherever life takes you.