Getting Divorced.

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Kriegsspiel
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by Kriegsspiel » Sun Jan 13, 2019 4:42 pm

jennypenny wrote:
Sun Jan 13, 2019 3:44 pm
Yes, it's a double standard. You're only interested in women who don't have too many miles on them
For marriage prospects.
but then get mad when women are choosy.
If you're just trying to hook up with them.
Shouldn't they be choosy if they are socially penalized for having as many partners as men?
Is this a hypothetical? Yes.

I don't think it's actionable intelligence anyways, since girls can just lie to you if they don't want you to know.

Kriegsspiel
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by Kriegsspiel » Sun Jan 13, 2019 4:47 pm

Jason wrote:
Sun Jan 13, 2019 3:53 pm
I think you have to look at college as the minor leagues. It's not necessarily indicative of what happens when you reach the show. And statistically speaking, it has no bearing on your Hall of Fame qualifications.
College is the one time in your life where you're surrounded, every day, by the hottest, horniest females, who are your neighbors, and who get drunk all the time. You call that the minor leagues?

Mister Imperceptible
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by Mister Imperceptible » Sun Jan 13, 2019 4:51 pm

Kriegsspiel wrote:
Sun Jan 13, 2019 4:32 pm
Except that you think females would like Rush.
Hehe, I just knowing from reading iDave’s journal that he was a fan, and had to sneak it in there.

That poor bastard.

IlliniDave
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by IlliniDave » Sun Jan 13, 2019 5:02 pm

jennypenny wrote:
Sun Jan 13, 2019 3:44 pm
Yes, it's a double standard. You're only interested in women who don't have too many miles on them but then get mad when women are choosy. Shouldn't they be choosy if they are socially penalized for having as many partners as men?

A quick read shows this thread throwing shade on women, catholics, recent divorcees, PF bloggers, and marriage in general. Did I miss anything? :roll:
Yes, us Rush fans.

C40
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by C40 » Sun Jan 13, 2019 7:05 pm

I think in the last few pages of posts you guys may have been underestimating the negative effects of divorce on women. With young children, even if getting significant child support, raising them alone becomes a huge burden. (though, now-a-days, I'm finding 50-50 custody to be quite common).

But the risk is still there that that the husband may suddenly decide he's over it and move out of state. Let's say the kids are 6 months, 2 years, and 4 years old (a TON of work). Even if he does send the child support checks - which often doesn't happen - the woman probably still work, and now has to do ALL the work of raising those PITA kids.

Sounds like a nightmare. While a man is continually carrying the risk of losing half the couple's wealth (which may have all came from him), the women do carry more of the risk of the above happening. They're particularly at risk when pregnant or with young children - and that is often a difficult part of the relationship, making divorce more likely than before having kids.

ffj
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by ffj » Sun Jan 13, 2019 7:47 pm

@Dave

I like Rush, you are not alone. :D But then again I was a fan of Yes too.

jacob
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by jacob » Sun Jan 13, 2019 8:05 pm

I first discovered Rush in 1999 when I was listening to the local radio during a research visit to IN (yeah, go ahead and judge me or IN or both as it may be). I ventured to the local B&N(*) to buy a CD with Subdivisions. In 2004, I came back and met DW. She owned several Rush CDs as well as her own set of socket wrenches. We married two years later and have now been together for 14 years.

So, obviously, you can't go wrong with Rush! I think that's the important message here? /s Insofar Rush affinity is a sufficient condition, maybe owning socket wrenches is a necessary one!? Seriously, I think the important variables were mentioned somewhat above. It would be nice if the "battle of the sexes" on this forum became somewhat more nuanced, perhaps to the point of non-existence or whatever everyone's future self will one day look back at and appreciate about their past statements.

(*) Not easy in a town where sidewalks were severely frowned upon and widely believed to condone criminal activity.

Mister Imperceptible
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by Mister Imperceptible » Sun Jan 13, 2019 9:17 pm

Well I, for one, was not out to make this a battle of the sexes. Divorce sucks for everyone. Just voicing my usual boring lament. I have figured out it’s possible to get used by women for money even outside the context of holy matrimony. Fortunately I have never shared a bank account or credit card and that has made it easier to unsubscribe.

100 years ago, I would have been married by now, for better or worse. 100 years from now, I would have been able to sleep with anyone without consequence, with state officials implementing Bokanovsky’s Process. Yay.

As an aside, I am over my parents house for Sunday dinner. When I clicked on Dr. Fisker’s link, my (still relatively young!) Catholic mother said from the other room: “Is that Rush?” So there is hope!

By the way, John Bohmam is better than Neil Peart. When it comes to drum sets, it’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean. We have to disagree about something :twisted:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lsZG7n7ries

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Zyhu2ysqKGk

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AwIPiw4_Ba8

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Zp-LBD_q0sQ

And my favorite:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=scpqae3P7Dg

Fight me.

IlliniDave
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by IlliniDave » Mon Jan 14, 2019 3:28 am

MI, although I spent a lot of amusing time in HS debating the relative merits of the respective bands, Zeppelin and Rush is a both/and, not an either/or in my view. Can't skip this one, perhaps my favorite

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3W6mDUmPZ0Y

And the relationship between the guys is pretty collegial. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upL9LJonoLg

7Wannabe5
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Mon Jan 14, 2019 4:52 am

I am still trying to solve the analogy problem:

Too much makeup is to “microdermabrasion is okay” as too many sexual partners is to _____???

I did go roller skating with boys who listened to Rush and Zeppelin in the early 80s. Although I appreciated the spirit of some of the Rush lyrics, the vocals always struck me as akin to “nails on chalkboard.” OTOH, I used to put my head right between two speakers when I listened to “In the Evening” and my burnout friend Nancy who married the boy who was almost charged with statuatory raping her ( he was 19 to her 16) had the entire text of Stairway to Heaven” written in calligraphy on the wall of her bedroom. Last thing I heard they were still together.

Jason
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by Jason » Mon Jan 14, 2019 6:13 am

Rush was a power trio, known for it's instrumental virtuosity, elliptical melodies and obtuse lyrics. With the presupposition that Lemmy was the ugliest man in rock' n roll history, I would argue that Geddy Lee was second. However, where Lemmy was an ugly man who at least looked like a man, Geddy Lee was an ugly man that resembled a woman. In his early years he looked like he arrived at the concert hall on a broomstick. In his later years, like he just finished delivering a paper at a third wave feminist reading. Furthermore, where when Lemmy sang about sex you knew it because he would conveniently entitle his songs "Jailbait", or with Led Zeppelin the imagery of lemon juice running down Robert Plant's leg was employed, when Geddy Lee sang about sexual relationships it was in three dimensional, geometric forms that required an advanced degree in mathematics to understand. And unlike Lemmy and Led Zeppelin, with Rush, there was never any stories of underaged groupies being penetrated with a large fish in a bathtub or the like circulating around the band. My point is, Rush's target audience was unapologetically and self-consciously male, whether it was dirtbag or nerd. I will leave it to their fans to self-identify but it doesn't seem hard to parse out who was who, at least on this board. The only girls who listened to their music were rolling skating groupies like Seven and her friends who did it in a second hand fashion and strictly for utilitarian purposes.

And I did not mean to disparage Joshua Sheats. But let's face it, he's no Carl Richards.

Edit: I understand Mrs. JLF owns Rush albums. I am sure she is a lovely woman and although for the life of me I can't understand it, I mean no offense that she enjoys Rush's music and am not accusing her of contemplating either blowing up or shooting the shit out of her high school back in the day. But it all due respect, although I don't find it surprising that JLF would find one of the few women walking the planet that owned Rush albums, I think its safe to say she's an outlier. I also do not mean to make a correlation between Illini Dave being divorced and liking Rush although I would not be surprised to discover that there was one. And FFJ's comment that he liked Yes makes perfect sense due to their prog-rock antecedents which was a male dominated musical genre despite the fact that Ian Anderson's wife either wrote or inspired the lyrics to Aqualung, the distinction no longer being important enough for me to research.

Mister Imperceptible
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by Mister Imperceptible » Mon Jan 14, 2019 11:30 am

Those Yes concerts in Kentucky must have been wild.

IlliniDave
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by IlliniDave » Mon Jan 14, 2019 11:35 am

jason, it is unlike what you believe https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37v-soxVmV0

Jason
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by Jason » Mon Jan 14, 2019 12:26 pm

"I am vibrating with Rush fandom." I'm like the easiest guy in the world but that statement makes my junk uneasy.

I'll concede somewhat, but based on small sample size, I saw about one aging woman per five beer bellied men congregation (dirt bag demographic) and no women around younger male set (nerd demographic) so it pretty much recapitulates the average high school Rush lunchroom breakdown.

Augustus
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by Augustus » Mon Jan 14, 2019 2:16 pm

jennypenny wrote:
Sun Jan 13, 2019 3:44 pm
A quick read shows this thread throwing shade on women, catholics, recent divorcees, PF bloggers, and marriage in general. Did I miss anything? :roll:
I could probably expand on that, but it might come across as rude. Teenage virgins trying to outdo each other in knowledge about sex and relationships comes to mind...

Augustus
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by Augustus » Mon Jan 14, 2019 2:23 pm

Mister Imperceptible wrote:
Sun Jan 13, 2019 4:20 pm
Are we just supposed to ignore this very real (statistically 50% and probably increasing) possibility and pretend it does not exist?
People always quote some very high percentage of divorce. But I think the devil may be in the details. If you start by looking at 5 people, 4 who have been married for 50 years, and 1 who married and divorced five times, the divorce rate is 55%. But really it was more like 20% because some people seem to be serial monogamists. One trend I have definitely noticed is that divorcees tend to remarry and divorce more than once. The people who marry once and call it a day are usually married for decades and decide they're done with it.

For example:
When you break that down by number of marriages:

42-45% percent of first marriages end in divorce.
60% of second marriages end in divorce.
73% of third marriages end in divorce.
The important number IMO is the 42-45%. I am very curious as to what happens if you remove the repeat offenders from % of first marriages ending in divorce, it obviously goes down, but by how much? You might realistically be looking at a 20-30% chance of divorce if you don't fall into the serial monogamist category.

Then you've got a bunch of other statistics, like this: https://www.wf-lawyers.com/divorce-stat ... and-facts/
5 Professions with highest divorce rate:
Dancers – 43
Bartender s- 38.4
Massage Therapists – 38.2
Gaming Cage Workers – 34.6
Gaming Service Workers – 31.3

5 Professions with lowest divorce rate:
Farmers – 7.63
Podiatrists – 6.81
Clergy – 5.61
Optomitrists – 4.01
Agricultural Engineers – 1.78
Marry someone who has gone to college and gotten a white collar job and isn't getting fired constantly and is responsible with money and you're much lower risk. Who could have ever predicted that someone who works as a stripper would have a higher chance of divorce. I'm assuming many "dancers" fit that category. IOTW if you want a stable boring marriage find a stable boring partner.

prognastat
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by prognastat » Mon Jan 14, 2019 3:24 pm

Wow, I guess find yourself an Agricultural Engineer...

Mister Imperceptible
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by Mister Imperceptible » Mon Jan 14, 2019 3:37 pm

Darn it. There was a blackjack dealer at Mohegan Sun I really thought I could build a life with.

Stahlmann
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by Stahlmann » Mon Jan 14, 2019 3:49 pm

Augustus wrote:
Mon Jan 14, 2019 2:16 pm
I could probably expand on that, but it might come across as rude. Teenage virgins trying to outdo each other in knowledge about sex and relationships comes to mind...
You forgot basement dwellers, it would make your argument even more sound!

tonyedgecombe
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Re: Getting Divorced.

Post by tonyedgecombe » Mon Jan 14, 2019 4:42 pm

5 Professions with lowest divorce rate:
Farmers – 7.63
Podiatrists – 6.81
Clergy – 5.61
Optomitrists – 4.01
Agricultural Engineers – 1.78
Interestingly farm workers, medical professionals and engineers also have the highest suicide rates. Not sure about the clergy.

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