Jean wrote: ↑
Thu Jan 09, 2020 3:10 am
Top hat Mormon! I don't see you resisting the arguments your mormon wive will throw at you for more than a few weeks. You're so impulsive. Don't worry, you'll be a great dad.
That’s the ironic part, I would make a great dad.
Still, I’ve held this one since I was like 10 YO. The financial, time, and emotional cost of just one kid is far too great, let alone two(!). Besides, I get depressed/suicidal, and kids are a 20yr+commitment. Most of my depression/suicidality is caused by lack of meaningful, consistent people so maybe having a kid would help, but that’d be a helluva risk to take with an innocent kid. Plus, I’m no geneticist, but I might give them depression/suicidality through genes.
Other news: I’ve noticed that my motivation is pretty low these days. IOW, I’ll do the things I need to (finish class assignments, apply to jobs), but typically at a lagged pace.
I’ll occasionally get big boosts in motivation and then do a bunch of to-do’s in an all-day productivity spree, but many other days it’s just low-energy lounging about learning languages passively, sleeping a lot, or reading.
With finding quality in-person people that stick around or aren’t always working being as hard as it is, it’s easy for me to think: “what’s the fucking point.”
I don’t really know how to restore my motivation. I once did a “success group” type series of meetup, where 10 people met at a friend’s house to share one important goal they want to achieve and the main challenge to achieving it. Then they share their progress toward that goal every few days to a week as people offer resources, connections, or trouble-shooting advice.
I suppose I may need to form such a daily Success Group online (a more day-to-day version of this one), despite that being literally going back and forth with pixels on a screen and anonymous usernames. It may be my only choice though: if the social environment in western countries has changed to make online interaction the easier/predominant venue, then continuing to expend effort as a skilled vulture for the last remaining in-person connection may very well be a misallocation of my effort.
I got some nice dental bonding done on two teeth that had worn prior to surgery. My teeth are also nice and white. How far I’ve come since NY.
Occasionally thinking about that well-researched and skilled nose job. It’d give me something new to look forward to I supposseeees. ^-^