Canada trying to escape suburban trap

[Blueglobo]

Hello to others on the ERE journey! It is a huge shame I did not discover this site four years ago before we ( my husband and I) made some very poor financial decisions. Well, I'm hopeful they can be remedied with some daring and determination.
My story: I remember being very frugally minded/minimalist even as a small child and never quite sure where it came from, as I was raised in a family that was never financially stressed. But I was quite convinced overpopulation would lead us to living like sardines and I experimented with living in my closet as practice. But middle class creep soon took over my youthful idealism and my aspirations to be a missionary or a revolutionary, and I got an education in a respectable profession (medicine), got married and have two young children. I don't regret any of that part. But here we are, with a big house in the suburbs, three cars, and we are saving less money than when we were both students, I have a 1.5 hour commute and spend less than three hours a day with my family. Childcare, mortgage and cars are the main expenses.
For various reasons, this city and country is no longer the ideal place for my husband ( career and health reasons), but we are a bit hung up on selling our house because we are near zero equity as the local housing market has dropped. Also relocating out of country would mean I would no longer have the earning power I enjoy here, and my husband's income potential will not replace mine. (He is not working in Canada.)
I also have a father who is healthy now but whom I would like to spend more time with, and will need support at some time down the road. He lives in another city.
I wish we had stayed in our small apartment in the city, but after our last child was due, we thought we needed more space, and that the suburbs would be better! I feel sheepish for being such a sucker to the middle class dream.
We want to raise our children to experience a wonderful life - this isn't it.
I feel like I need courage from this group to make some hard decisions and get moving on creating our vision for our family. Even if this means losing some money in the short term, and accepting a lower income in exchange for some freedom.

[Hankaroundtheworld]

Welcome, I know the feeling, I wish I had seen ERE ideas 12 years ago but it is good to recognize your own situation and change direction to a desired future. In order for this community to respond, it would be great if you start a journal, and explain a bit more on your "foundations", like financial situation (net worth, income and spending levels), your dreams (when retirement or reduced work stress), your age and planning, your desires in work and location, etc.. Of course, this all depends what you feel comfortable with sharing.
For now, it is great that you have the desire to change for the better, that gives energy and direction! Oh yeah, focus on the positive parts in life, we sometimes forget, like being healthy, etc... I know, sounds obvious, but I see sometimes in this forum that people "punish" themselves for potential bad moves in life, but if they only realize how much there is good in their lives, things will not feel that bad. Life is a journey, we just have to live it

[Blueglobo]

Thanks Hank, I will start a journal.