A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

[NewBlood]

Nice to have you back! And great job maintaining your weight through the holidays and improving all your numbers, that's inspiring!

[IlliniDave]

...

Early happy birthday wishes, 7Wb5.

You're right as far as what I've read implies about weight distribution. Although I do add subcutaneous fat when I balloon, it seems like the majority is visceral fat which is the type that indicates problems by its existence and causes problems further because it is not metabolically neutral. A year ago I had all the hallmarks of NAFLD which is why liver enzymes and weight are things I keep an eye on. Fortunately even at my age the liver is pretty resilient when supplied with good nutrition and nutrients. I can't even pull off serial monogamy! But agree it stands to reason that the more options you have in play, the better the odds one of them has exceptional longevity.

[IlliniDave]

Nice to have you back! And great job maintaining your weight through the holidays and improving all your numbers, that's inspiring!

Thanks, NewBlood. Keeping my weight regulated though the autumn and holidays was a first for me over the last 20 years at least. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. Even though I indulged in the wrong kind of carbohydrates (for me), I kept it in moderation. For years I knew that those types of carbs were at the root of my weight gain, but until 2023 I didn't have the knowledge to map it into what was going on inside my body, nor an understanding of the connectedness of all the western lifestyle diseases (obesity, liver disease, type II diabetes, heart/arteria disease, various forms of dementia, and many cancers). That knowledge robbed me of much of the pleasure of overindulgence. The stuff still tasted good, but it went down with a feeling of gloom.

[7Wannabe5]

I can't even pull off serial monogamy!

Well, you are an attractive man, but you are facing a tough demographic as Gen Jones (cusp of Boomer and GenX) dating into Gen X, especially given that the Gen X women in your conventional dating range (approximately 5-7 years younger on average)are mostly going to be in the opposite of "family formation" phase of life ("Empty nest, I am free, no more responsibilities for others for me! Hip-hip-hooray, today's MY day, pour me some more of that Chardonnay!") It might seem counter-intuitive, but you might be well served going to the limits of the French Mistress Rule, ((Your Age/2) +7) = 37, which I believe would take you into the realm of greater population of Older Millennials still interested in family formation.

[IlliniDave]

Thanks as always for the unique insights, 7Wb5, and the kind words. I got a chuckle out of that because the last woman I considered pursuing (for a week or two) is 37. I thought that was a bit young for me, haha. (and, full disclosure, she did not reciprocate interest enough for me to fully rev up pursuit mode).

[7Wannabe5]

Well, these-a-days, 70 is supposed to be the new 50, but I always remember something I read along the lines of "If I knew what my body was going to look like in my 70s, I would have had a lot more sex in my 50s." and I've always been one to believe that "You gotta play the hand you're holding." I'm currently back to feeling almost chipper enough to start dating again, but I don't know if I would be better off on dating site for old people, chubby people, polyamorous people, or book-lovers/sapiosexuals? Even though I am currently reading "Dangerous Curves Ahead: A Curvy Woman Romance (Blue Collar Boys: Book 1 ), I'm actually thinking Silver Singles might be my best bet, because it's nearing my last chance to score another member of the Silent Generation, and "truckers who love those curvy backroads" will continue in steady supply. My point here being that if you ever had a thing for somebody with the cultural vibe of Faye Dunaway or Ann-Margret, you might want to act fast on that too.

[IlliniDave]

Hmm, I don't quite get the Faye Dunaway or Ann Margaret vibe reference. They are more or less my Dad's age, and I wasn't enough of an older movie buff growing up to really know much about them beyond recognizing their names. I'd be happy just running across someone not too different in age who would tolerate my quirks and isn't too tied down with responsibilities that predate me. Maybe a lot to ask at my age. But at the moment due to some recent circumstances I don't have dating at the top of my to-do list, so will likely just go through the next several months being receptive to serendipity.

[suomalainen]

So, listen you two, enough flirting. Double date with me and @gravy?

[Biscuits and Gravy]

You really want to put me in a room with you, another attractive older gentleman, and 7w5? That date might very well turn into a hands-on lesson on polyamory.

[7Wannabe5]

Egads, I'm a little bit insulted that you guys think my flirtation skill level is equivalent to my style/content of communication in my last few posts to IDave. I only write like that on this forum, because I think of forum-mates as being my child-like energy buddies; like we're all characters on Peanuts. There is no possible Universe in which I would be found sitting across from a man on a coffee date informing him of the heights and weights of my other prior or current suitors. Actually, that's not entirely true, because there is some amount of money that might be wagered that would compel me to actually perform this behavior in order to disprove the hypothesis that it was likely to be an effective flirtation strategy. IOW, if I was actually flirting with IDave in the profound subtlety of my relaxed feminine energy neither he nor you would know it

[Henry]

like we're all characters on Peanuts.

I'm thinking "A Charlie Brown Gang Bang" probably wouldn't make it past the focus groups.

[suomalainen]

IOW, if I was actually flirting with IDave in the profound subtlety of my relaxed feminine energy neither he nor you would know it

Nice try. I'm onto you.

[7Wannabe5]

@ suo:

No, seriously, although I do fairly frequently express a bit of my Journal of Irreproducible Results form of humor when writing an online dating profile, in person my practice while waiting for somebody to show up for first coffee date is to relax in my feminine energy (in semi-alignment with the teachings of Deida and similar writers) by thinking to myself along the line of a mantra akin to "I am like a ripe peach. I am open to the wonder of what might happen on this date." , and this practice seems to be quite successful, because when I am later returned to my adult masculine energy (Ti), I am able to calculate that the rate at which I am asked for second date or instant upgrade to dinner after coffee meet-greet is approximately 9/10. And I was zero-percent engaging that mantra as I was posting above. Let me see if I can rollback and respond as I might if I was actually attempting to be charming:

Nope, can't do it because there's nothing in IDave's initial new post that I can respond to in my relaxed feminine energy.

[okumurahata]

@jacob should consider implementing a feature to connect potential couples here. There’s plenty of sexual and intellectual chemistry at play.

[7Wannabe5]

@okumurahata:

The noosphere is not the biosphere.

[okumurahata]

@7:

Fucking a brain is the highest level of intimacy.

[suomalainen]

Nope, can't do it because there's nothing in IDave's initial new post that I can respond to in my relaxed feminine energy.

That's how you know it's genuine.

J/k. I'm just teasing you two. Sorry for the hijack @iD. Love how you've designed your life. Carry on and please keep checking in here from time to time.

[7Wannabe5]

Fucking a brain is the highest level of intimacy.

Unless you slipped your date a roofie, you are always fucking a brain or something that is actually more complex than a brain which is the intelligence inherent in the varied evolution of human sexuality within advanced cultural context. You can't rationalize desire, and "Beware literary infatuation!" is almost rule #1 for internet dating (maybe not so much anymore with the newer apps which are lacking in depth.) On a couple of occasions, I have made the mistake of becoming engaged with somebody through extended written and/or phone conversation interaction, only to find the reality quite different than the fantasy our shared imagination had spun into being. Humans bring more to their presence than words can express. Maybe it has something to do with how it actually takes more brain power to walk than to play chess. Is fucking a brain a higher level of intimacy than nursing an infant? Apples and oranges, but on whole I would say that it isn't.

[jacob]

Humans bring more to their presence than words can express.

That's an extrovert-introvert dichotomy. While it holds for extroverts, introverts bring less to their presence than [their] words can express. When in the company of others, introverts only reveal the tip of the iceberg. This is because their presence by construction occurs through their [extroverted] auxiliary function rather than their dominant one. Staircase wit is an example of being able to express oneself better beyond one's presence.

[7Wannabe5]

@jacob:

I agree that extroverts have an advantage in the casual dating realm, but I was being more literal (or superficial.) I was thinking about a guy who spins you up a sexy motorcycle fantasy on the interweb, but then shows up for your first date wearing these shoes:



Also, I think the disadvantage introverts have in dating (especially online) is more due to pacing than expressiveness.

woman I considered pursuing (for a week or two).... she did not reciprocate interest enough for me to fully rev up pursuit mode

Here's how long any guy has to fully rev up pursuit mode when dating online: 3 written exchanges over maybe 2 days max. If you attempt to ensure compatibility before making clear request to meet in person, somebody else will almost certainly have already broken through her defenses and stolen that dribbled ball first. Dating site research (and my personal experience) indicates that average time a serial monogamous female has a live online dating account is only around 3 weeks before finding somebody attractive enough to exclusively date. Very few women ken that "exclusivity" is not what it used to be.