A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

[ertyu]

obligatory mention of extended water fasting -- you might or might not be into it due to the effects on muscle mass, but it's a thing and it's a thing that works.

[Ego]

@Scott2, yes, my average over the past 4 week was 67 minutes per day, though the past week skewed the average lower as we have been busy and I ran only three days. That said, my mother was an avid runner as well. Her cholesterol was very high despite her walk-running until the day she died.

[IlliniDave]

IlliniDave, might I suggest you consider just taking the statins? It’s not you, it’s your genetic inheritance. It will likely slightly mess with your sleep pattern, and may cause some eczema issues. But you will much less likely be unexpectedly non-alive.

That option is not off the table, but there are a few things I want to try first.

You can calculate HOMA-IR from the insulin and fasting glucose number, here:

https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/3120/homa-i ... resistance

I don't know if your diet would suppress expression of any insulin resistance, but those numbers look enviable. It's hard to believe you have more space for improvement. Adding muscle could make you more tolerant of high carb boluses. But it doesn't sound like those have been a factor.


I wonder if increased zone 2 exercise would change the cholesterol number? Like 3-5h a week, as confirmed by heart rate monitoring? Given the seasonality, activity seems like a plausible variable of interest.

Maybe saturated fat is another lever? Red meat, butter, etc.? Dunno how much of that you eat.

My HOMA-IR per that calculator is pretty good. I'm fairly certain I am gaming it. It's not a great analogy, but I liken insulin resistance to a fertile field. If I don't plant seeds (consume gobs of sugar, starch, refined carbs) I won't get a crop (elevated fasting glucose and insulin which over time cascades into a lot of problems). I'll talk more about nutrition at the end.

obligatory mention of extended water fasting -- you might or might not be into it due to the effects on muscle mass, but it's a thing and it's a thing that works.

It's worth considering, but you're right, it does work against some of my present goals. However, with new information goals can get shuffled. I'm still working on an action plan and will do some thinking out loud at the end.

Sorry to hear it. Cholesterol should have gone down in conjunction with the weight loss. That is a bummer.

Everyone has their goto solution... and mine leads me to believe that the most obvious culprits are the saturated fats in animal foods. I acknowledge my extreme bias.

Perhaps consider transitioning to plant based whole foods? Maybe try it for a month and do another lipid panel. I believe the test costs about $60.

FWIW, I come from a long line of high-cholesterol, statin-gobblers. Both parents and all four grandparents.

Last check at 56 my levels were:
VLDL 13.2
LDL 81
Triglycerides 66
HDL 73

You've gone far enough down the nutrition rabbit hole that healthy things that once tasted like paste (tempeh) can begin to taste good when you imagine them lowering your cholesterol.

Diet's very personal, but my experience is similar to Ego's. Vegetarian for 20 years, numbers are comparable ...

Just kind of summarizing:

-I do have a lot of familial high cholesterol in my genetic stew, but very little heart disease in the same lineage, and none in parents, grandparents, or siblings.

-In general my inflammation profile is very good, I think it's the driver in why my biological age Function calculated is 11 years younger than my actual age, and my understanding is that inflammation is a key component in arterial calcification.

-My total cholesterol is not off-the-charts bad, iirc it was 225 and my triglycerides were "in range" though not optimal.

-I've taken measures to ensure I have good nitric oxide levels, including use of a supplement that has clinical backing to it's efficacy. Waning NO with age (and exacerbated by typical Western lifestyle-driven metabolic disease) is allegedly a culprit in cardiovascular disease.

For those reasons I'm not panicking just yet.

However, my LDL particle profile is not good, something I see as a high priority to address.

My understanding of the process that leads to high particle counts is that the liver fails to reabsorb the cholesterol particles that have already delivered the bulk of their triglycerides, and most often this is a side effect of insulin resistance, something I believe I have, but through nutrition and exercise I'm not fanning the flames of. That's in line with what Function's AI-generated action plan recommends--deal with insulin resistance (presumably it is taking my favorable fasting insulin and glucose numbers into consideration when generating the recommendations).

Functions action plan for me contains an eat this/don't eat this and some specific supplement recommendations, only 1 or two of which are in my current 'stack'.

When I got the Keto Mojo meter I was surprised how deeply I was getting into ketosis on a regular basis. If someone would have asked if I was doing keto I would have said, "no, not really". I appear to share some traits with a "lean mass hyper responder", though without my total LDL excuring quite so high. Ketones indicate my body is mobilizing fat (and the mirror and scale confirm that), and I wonder if due to a quirk of my makeup combined with a history of fairly advanced insulin resistance if I don't get a logjam of sorts at my liver as my fat cells discharge at a relatively high rate and my liver works to absorb them to convert to ketones. That's blatant speculation on my part, but the small bit of evidence I have is:

-Dec '22 - relatively high cholesterol (basic panel) but not a terrible profile - terrible eating leading into test, in undesirable weight gain mode
-May '23 - lower but relatively high cholesterol (basic panel), worse profile than Dec '22 - "good" nutrition, active weight loss mode, significant ketosis suspected
-Nov '23 - even lower cholesterol (basic panel), favorable profile - "okay" nutrition, in weight maintenance mode (out of any amount of ketosis)
-Apr '24 - similar to May '23 overall (basic panel), plus particle analysis (not good) - "good" nutrition, active weight loss mode, significant ketosis measured

It happens I have my annual blood tests for my primary care doc in 9 days, and part of that will be a basic lipid panel. 9 days is not a long time but I'm going to implement some nutritional/regimen changes with the hope of seeing at least a small move in the positive direction to test both my logjam hypothesis and determine if I'm a lean mass hyper responder. The steps are:

1. Eliminate dairy fat. That's probably my largest source of saturated fat. I love cheese. I avoid lactose already for blood sugar control
2. Ease out of ketosis by careful use of plant foods containing resistant starches. Was planning to do that after the next blood work anyway.
3. Go pescetarian for a while, with minimal consumption of fish
4. Go with the "top 5" supplement recommendations from Function Health (some I already take)
5. Increase my activity level (already an ongoing process)
6. Possibly do a moderately extended water fast early this week, maybe 40 hours or so, but that works against #2 so I'm not sure if I'll do it prior to the tests.

That is subject to change once I receive a human clinician review of the data from Function.

I had a bunch of nutrient levels tested as part of this. My omega 3 levels were not deficient, but they were below optimal, which contributes to the pescetarian decision. I'll probably up my omega 3 supplement intake slightly.

My vitamin D level was barely above the deficient threshold, and below optimal. I've been taking 5,000 IU per day, and will probably double that in the short term. No idea if that will impact blood lipids, but it factors into a lot of other things.

With function I have the option of scheduling tests in between the standard intervals (for a cost). So I'll probably add a lipid panel for late July when I traditionally have my 'vacation' from the hideout. That'll be pretty close to a three month interval. I haven't checked the prices, but if it's reasonably affordable I'll redo the full particle analysis at that time. If not, I'll just do the basic panel then add the particle analysis to my per-plan 6-month retest.

Prior to getting the Function results I was looking at increasing protein intake. That's fallen to a secondary priority for a while. But I might experiment with whey isolate and/or pea protein isolate (with added aminos) if I can find some that have essentially no non-fiber carbs and only fats that meet my restrictions.

So anyway, that's where my head is this morning. I'm delighted that I'll turn 49 biologically on my 60th chronological birthday, but still am bothered by this lipid thing.

[Scott 2]

I'm with you on integrating all sustainable lifestyle changes, before pulling the statin lever. Unless there's an acute risk (ie uncontrolled diabetes + high cholesterol), build the strong foundation first. Don't bury your most useful metric with a drug. Use it to learn.


Backing off ketosis looks like an interesting lever. Walking around in an extreme state is bound to have some unusual effects - both good and bad. In this case, I imagine adding 5-10lbs of stored glucose and water weight might improve strength too.

We've found Costco to be an affordable source of supplemental omega-3's - vegan DHA. Being vegetarian, I don't want to take fish oils. My wife's doctor also goes that route, because he's concerned about heavy metals in fish. 1000mg per day has been an effective dose, for us.

I wonder what might impact your vitamin D absorption vs. simply taking more? 5000 IU's per day is already a lot. 2500 IU's had my mid-March score (ie hiding inside all winter) at 57 ng/mL. The test says normal is 30-100.


I "solve" the protein problem with unflavored whey isolate, bought 10bs at a time. I mix in some cinnamon, salt and cocoa. The flavored options are too sweet for my liking. I think it'd be more nutritionally optimal to eat some meat, but that's not how we live. I purposefully eat eggs, to get some of those nutrients. I'll occasionally do some whole fat greek yogurt for the same reason. As well as some ultra-filtered 2% milk.

All that to say - I considered and decided against eschewing all animal products. I'm not disciplined enough to do it well.


A water fast seems like gaming the test.

[IlliniDave]

I'm with you on integrating all sustainable lifestyle changes, before pulling the statin lever. Unless there's an acute risk (ie uncontrolled diabetes + high cholesterol), build the strong foundation first. Don't bury your most useful metric with a drug. Use it to learn.


Backing off ketosis looks like an interesting lever. Walking around in an extreme state is bound to have some unusual effects - both good and bad. In this case, I imagine adding 5-10lbs of stored glucose and water weight might improve strength too.

We've found Costco to be an affordable source of supplemental omega-3's - vegan DHA. Being vegetarian, I don't want to take fish oils. My wife's doctor also goes that route, because he's concerned about heavy metals in fish. 1000mg per day has been an effective dose, for us.

I wonder what might impact your vitamin D absorption vs. simply taking more? 5000 IU's per day is already a lot. 2500 IU's had my mid-March score (ie hiding inside all winter) at 57 ng/mL. The test says normal is 30-100.


I "solve" the protein problem with unflavored whey isolate, bought 10bs at a time. I mix in some cinnamon, salt and cocoa. The flavored options are too sweet for my liking. I think it'd be more nutritionally optimal to eat some meat, but that's not how we live. I purposefully eat eggs, to get some of those nutrients. I'll occasionally do some whole fat greek yogurt for the same reason. As well as some ultra-filtered 2% milk.

All that to say - I considered and decided against eschewing all animal products. I'm not disciplined enough to do it well.


A water fast seems like gaming the test.

I was chatting with my local supplement dealer this morning and talking about my "plight" and he mentioned the "oreo cookie study" in which some researcher was studying lean mass hyper responders on low carb regimens, for whom being in ketosis will raise "bad" cholesterol in a a good bit. the test subjects spent some time on a standard keto regimen and then where split into groups, and without changing the eating regimen, one group was given 6 weeks of statin treatments (drugs) and the other was given 12 Oreo cookies to eat each day. The Oreo group had more improvement in their lipid profile than the statin users. I haven't looked it up myself but I think the difference was substantial.

That makes me think I'm on the right track, although I've selected purple sweet potatoes and a little cassava "pasta" to do the Oreo's job. My theory is that it will kick my body out of ketosis and relieve the logjam at my liver (dunno if the study conclusions support that "mechanism"). And there might be something to what I think it was you said above regarding exercising of both metabolic pathways. In a way that's the premise of Gundry's keto code, to use restricted eating windows and non-keto eating (but still carb smart) so the body cycles in and out of ketosis on a daily basis. His influence is why I mentioned metabolic flexibility and was excited that I finally achieved it (takes a while for prediabetics to regain that). My problem might that in restoring my gut I cut cravings so drastically that I was undershooting my carb intake and staying in ketosis all the time (and hence my hypothetical logjam of the liver). The scenario also fits the pattern of my recent liver panel ups and downs. So I'm hopeful I'll see some improvement--maybe not in time to head off an uncomfortable discussion with my doc (sweet woman, and it pains me to be a pain in her backside).

My vitamin D levels were similar to yours, something above 50, maybe I misread the medicine 2.0 reference ranges. My medicine 3.0 sources tend to say to push that all the way up to 100, or even a little higher. It's not uncommon for vitamin D absorption to decrease with age. For now I doubled to 10,000 IU/day and when I do my add on 3-month lipid check I'll probably add a D check. Last summer I quit supplementing D3 because I was outside regularly (but have no idea what my levels were). So when I head up in a few weeks I might drop it back to 5,000 and adjust when I get the test results.

Trying some pure whey is actually a good idea that never occurred to me. I tend to stay away from everyday whey because they often add things I don't want. Today I also picked up a small jar of isolated pea protein. It's a little low in a couple aminos, tryptophan and another I can't remember, but since I don't seeing it ever being my main source of protein for an extended time, it's not something that concerns me.

I buy concentrated, molecularly distilled fish oil from small fish like sardines and herring. It's not cheap but I have similar concerns about mercury. I added on a heavy metals screen to my function suite, and I was in pretty good shape as far as mercury goes. I'm not a costco member but maybe I should join. I read somewhere that algae-derived omega 3s have some nuances that make them an arguably better choice.

And you're right on the statins in the sense that cholesterol needs some co-conspirators to get involved in heart disease, and it appears I have them reasonably controlled (inflammation, gut-related autoimmune dysfunction, and I've pushed myself back from the ledge of Type II diabetes).

[suomalainen]

Cholesterol numbers aren't necessarily reflective of either diet or body composition. I have a very skinny friend who has never been obese who has had cholesterol readings in the 400s since his 20s and has taken medication for decades. No shame in managing issues with the available tools.

[ertyu]

Statins have nasty side effects on memory, though. They're what got my father. Faced with the same trade-off, I'd choose decreased longevity via heart attack.

[IlliniDave]

Cholesterol numbers aren't necessarily reflective of either diet or body composition. I have a very skinny friend who has never been obese who has had cholesterol readings in the 400s since his 20s and has taken medication for decades. No shame in managing issues with the available tools.

Statins have nasty side effects on memory, though. They're what got my father. Faced with the same trade-off, I'd choose decreased longevity via heart attack.

suomalainen, yep that's true. There are some people genetically predisposed to have very high cholesterol. But I think that's somewhere between uncommon and rare looking across the population. There's also a group called "lean mass hyper responders" who when they get on a keto regimen see higher HDL (a good thing) lowered triglycerides (a good thing) but their LDL shoots up into the 200-400 range.

In my case my basic lipid panel that everyone gets didn't look awful. Total Cholesterol 225, HDL 41, LDL 158, trigs 138. It was worse than Nov of last year (185/53/113/94) but not something I would lose sleep over. But this last go round of tests included lipid fractionation tests, which looks at particle counts and sizes. The conventional wisdom around those tests is that larger/fewer particles is good and smaller more numerous particles are a concern. I had more/smaller particles than is generally considered good. It's the first time I ever had that test so I don't know if my particle distribution is better/worse/same as it was.

I had three other tests that where done for the first time

My Apo(B) was out of range high (not so good)
My LPa was very low (very good)
My hs-CRP was very low (very good)

I don't have a good feel yet for what the fractionation stuff means. I'm still in the process of educating myself on that. The mechanistic cause for the smaller particles is that the liver is not reabsorbing cholesterol particles that have delivered their payload and are ready for recycling. That is most commonly thought to be related to insulin regulation issues.

It goes back to what Scott 2 said above. If I short circuit natural processes in my liver via statins I'll lose the opportunity to understand more about what's up with my metabolism and how to provide myself with the optimal lifestyle. When it comes to metabolism, we're all a little different from each other.

ertyu, yep, statins come at a cost. Aside from an apparent association with increased dementia risk, there also seems to be an association with type II diabetes risk, and of course type-II diabetes and dementia seem to have an association. And I think more often than not insulin resistance underlies all those things.

I do believe there are some people for whom statin therapy is their best option, but I also think it's only a small fraction of those who take them. In time I might find that I'm among the subset of the population for whom taking them is a wise choice. But I don't know that yet. I'm reverting to my engineer training: gather data, test hypotheses, gather more data, etc. It's sad if you think about it, but I don't trust Medicine 2.0 to make that choice for me.

[suomalainen]

I agree that approaching options from the cheapest / lowest hanging fruit side is the way to go. Nutrition, exercise and sleep are the foundational pillars of physical health. But if adjusting those don't work, I'm glad to have modern medicine and the optionality that goes along with it. The emotional/social/psychological impacts of stress and relationships on physical health are also pretty interesting, if harder to see. Best of luck with this optimization exercise. You've inspired me to pick up a PCP and get some basic bloodwork done. As it happens, my company announced a benefit of joining one of those membership medical offices where they pay the membership fee. So it got me over the hump to finally get a PCP. Been a decade or so since I had bloodwork done.

[IlliniDave]

Today I got my test results from the annual tests ordered by my regular doc. They are pretty much back in the range they were last fall. Compared to what I got a couple of weeks ago through Function Health:

Measure: Function (4/24) -> regular doc (5/7)

Total: 225 -> 185
HDL: 41 -> 50
LDL: 158 -> 111
Tgl: 138 -> 120
VLDL: N/A -> 24

So either my logjam hypothesis was a bit of brilliant deduction and my 11th hour nutritional mods made a significant difference, or my metabolic health improved dramatically in 2 weeks, or the two labs look at roughly the same blood and come up with quite different assessments (more on that later).

The dietary mods were to temporarily go pescetarian (supplemented with isolated whey and isolated pea proteins), eliminate dairy (which for me is butter and cheese and was the primary ongoing source of dietary saturated fat); and to use EVOO, avocado oil, and perilla oil for fat sources to replace starchy and sugary carbs. I also eased up my carb restriction enough to get knocked all the way out of ketosis during my feeding window and barely get back in before the start of my next day's feeding window.

My Function measurements were done by one of the big national lab corporations. I found an announcement they made in 2019 that they changed the calculations they used for assessing lipids. It was marketed as an "improvement" because at least 20% of the people for whom the prior calculation indicated no need for clinical intervention really could benefit from intervention (which I interpret to mean statin drugs). So in the spirit of confirmation bias I'm going to run with the conclusion that the labs ordered through function were puffed up to sell statins. That isn't meant to reflect poorly on Function Health--for a service that aspires to be available to people nationwide, they have to work with labs that large numbers of people have access to.

The short term good news is that my doc doesn't know about the Function results and the data she has only reflects pronounced improvement over the last two years and today's numbers good enough her case to talk me into a statin is weak. I would still like to see my LDL and TGL lower, but this LDL was the lowest I think I've ever had. My TGLs seem to bounce around a lot, but the general trend is downward and I'm in range iirc.

Both my ALT and AST are somewhat elevated from where they were last fall, but both improved slightly with the last-minute diet mods and are far below levels where medical intervention would be called for. That'll be a focus area during the intervening months.

I'm becoming disinclined to add another lipid panel with fractionation through Function at the 3 month mark, or even add the fractionation to my 6-month retest. I don't want to spend my whole summer at the hideout thinking about cholesterol.

I also set my all-time low fasting glucose and all-time low HbA1c records (at least since they started checking those on me): 82 and 5.2% respectively.

My testosterone has been steadily rising since late 2022 as well, and this morning's test extended that streak.

[thegoldenpath]

Hey Dave, thanks for the kind welcome over in the introduction thread. Just catching up on your journal and getting lost in northwoods dreaming!

[Scott 2]

Those scores look much better. Congrats.

I hope you are wrong about the labs being skewed. That is not a variable I want to control for. It makes more sense that taking your body out of ketosis and removing saturated fats, changed your blood lipids. Those are dramatic dietary shifts.

I've never heard of perilla oil. How is it price and flavor wise, compared to the EVOO and avocado oil? I can grab those at Aldi, so I've been eating them by default. But a little more variety would be fun. I tried flax oil in the past, but it didn't taste good.


You can convert A1c to an average glucose, using charts like this:

https://mymedicalscore.com/a1c-conversion-chart/

Your score of 5.2 converts to 103. Given the fasting score of 82, it supports your theory that insulin resistance is present but managed. Given the juggling you're now doing around ketosis, I think a CGM would give very interesting data.


I haven't found much correlation between testosterone and well being. I was on the very low end of normal last year and the year before. My doctor insisted it didn't matter, and I had a hard time letting it go. I even insisted on seeing an endocrinologist, who said the same. This year I was eating more and running less, so the score was in the mid-range. To my surprise, I didn't feel different.

[IlliniDave]

Hey Dave, thanks for the kind welcome over in the introduction thread. Just catching up on your journal and getting lost in northwoods dreaming!

Hey goldenpath, glad you stopped by. This particular journal meanders quite a lot. I think it might turn 10 years old this year! (curiosity got the better of me--it turned 10 years old this past April) Those visualizations of contented tranquility sustained me through some challenging junctures during the run up when the weight of the slog threatened to derail me. And now that I've crossed over they really do manifest as I envisioned at times, though real life pokes through on occasion even when I am there.

[IlliniDave]

Those scores look much better. Congrats. ...

Thanks, Scott.

Yeah, they gave me an estimated average glucose number and it was 103, so it must use essentially the same calculation. I also learned that my Keto Mojo glucose readings are higher than lab tests. I checked myself right before I left, within 30 minutes of the needle going in my arm, and it measured my glucose at 92. If I look through some of my other readings and mentally knock 10 pts off, some of them make more sense with the companion ketone measurements.

Perilla oil has it's origins in Korean food I believe. It's a little like EVOO in the sense it has a low smoke point so isn't a great option for cooking, but is something to be splashed on after or maybe used in a simmer. It has some similarities in character to sesame oil in that it can be made from toasted or untoasted seeds, and has a vaguely nutty quality. I got the untoasted variety, I'll try toasted next time if I get more. It's pretty pricey, but the stuff I got was imported from Korea specifically for culinary use. I think I paid $20-something for a 10 oz bottle, and had to order it online. If you have a Korean grocer nearby maybe you could get it off the shelf. I think there is some made in N America that is a little cheaper, but it seems to be marketed more for topical skin use than for consumption. But not long after I saw where that's the brand that Dr Gundry seems to use, so it must be okay. In his paradigm perilla oil is a powerful mitochondrial uncoupler because it's high in rosmarinic acid.

My dietary pivot was really only about a week long before the second lipid panel, so it's hard for me to attribute that much change to so short a time window, but who knows? If it is just that I can probably kick the can of the statin discussion down the road indefinitely just by changing up what I eat for a couple weeks before a test. I'm going to try to stick with this current regimen for a few months to see if there's more gains to be mined.

Over the period that my testosterone has been creeping up (from the lower third of normal to now just over the midpoint iirc) I've had quite a rejuvenation, but I don't think the levels of that hormone are a driver, more of a consequence. I've always been of the opinion that as long as in or close to the normal range it's not a big deal, it's just getting too low or too high that causes problems. But I don't remember the origin of that opinion.

I turned 60 a couple days ago (49 biologically speaking, haha) and even though it's blatantly grading on a curve, I feel like I'm doing really well for my age, and I shudder to think about what would be going on if I hadn't taken the bull by the horns early last year.

[IlliniDave]

I had my annual visit with my primary care doc yesterday morning. It went pretty smooth. No statin discussion at all, she's happy with the two most recent lipid panels she's ordered (Nov 23 and May 24). All in all she was quite positive. My BP caught her attention, it was 106/66. I was something like 148/95 the fist time I got measured in the local system here. Last May I was about 130/80. The only thing she cautioned me about was not to lose too much weight. Her records of me start at about 215 lb and yesterday I was around 170 fully dressed. I mentioned my intent to continue changing things up until I get my lipid profile/composition where I want it and her response was "No, no, no. You are doing beautifully. Don't change anything." Fat chance of that happening, of course, but I just nodded along. She had little interest in any specifics of the "lifestyle" part of it. I'm probably just a curiosity to her since I don't fit the pattern/progression of aging in the textbook sense, maybe she thinks I have golden genetics or something, even though the evidence she has access to very clearly shows I was a "normal" later midlife Westerner not so long ago. I opted not to bring up the Function tests. Speaking of them, I still haven't received the clinician review of my results. Maybe I'm a difficult case to assess since I had a lipid panel of someone with poor metabolic health while the companion markers (like fasting insulin and HbA1c) reflected pretty solid metabolic health. Or maybe the participating clinicians are just very busy.

I am also excited to hear Oura is set to roll out some new features this month, metrics related to heart health which include some sort of cardiac efficiency metric as well as a cardiac age assessment. Apparently Garmin or someone has or is about to launch some new wearable that ups the table stakes. Oura's relatively new "Gen 3" (which I have) was launched with some technological capabilities that were not initially exploited in the app. Moar data!

Anyway, with all the medical stuff in the rearview I'm fully clear to start getting ready for the annual migration to the hideout. I'm probably going to head up over Memorial weekend, which is about a week earlier than I normally do. I'm excited to get things moving in that direction. In hindsight getting all the extra testing done was the source of an amount of stress, but I'm glad I did it. On balance it was a good news story, although there are definitely some watch items. I'm already starting to reframe those as motivators rather than stressors. I feel and look pretty good and the numbers tell me I am empowered to make a meaningful difference in my own longer-term health and well being--something I've had my doubts about when past efforts fizzled out. Last year at this juncture I felt a little constrained by all the lifestyle mods and I looked forward to the hideout being an opportunity to relax and enjoy myself a little. I don't have the same feeling now on the cusp of Hideout 2024. All my urges are to double down and stack gains on top of gains. Even silly stuff like now being able to see veins on top of my lil' biceps motivates me to push leannes/autophagys even further (I'll need to find somewhere to get a DEXA scan done, lol). To celebrate my birthday I bought myself a new belt--first time I ever bought one because the old one was too big. I could have just punched an extra hole in the old one, but what the hell, nothing wrong with a little drunken sailor behavior.

[suomalainen]

To celebrate my birthday I bought myself a new belt--first time I ever bought one because the old one was too big. I could have just punched an extra hole in the old one, but what the hell, nothing wrong with a little drunken sailor behavior.

This reminds me of a few weeks ago when @gravy said she had a "self-destructive bent" and cited not doing the dishes on a Sunday and watching TV instead. Drunken sailors, the lot of you.