Rube's journal

[Ego]

I guess the above two paragraphs have in common that life became easy, comfortable, perhaps too? I remember Ego wrote that it's good to not have too much money because things would be too comfortable. Well, I guess he had a point.

Serendipity and dumb luck have conspired to make us "too comfortable" again, so this is a recurring problem. In the past, our autophagic sabbaticals have allowed us to clean out the clutter, remove the dysfunctional bits, and reinvigorate the parts responsible for MacGyvering. I know we waited too long when I begin wondering if things have gotten too comfortable. The hard question of how to handle a stash so large it cancels all concerns, doubts, worries .... is uncharted territory for us.

[Seppia]

Very interesting perspectives rube
I may be the resident anti-stoic here, but I would not worry too much if you are having a “lazy” phase.
With work, we are programmed to always be busy with stuff that is brought to us by others, I think it is natural to need some adjustment to become fully “self-motivated”.
As you mentioned, start working on your habits.
For example, a quick extra cycling trip you force yourself to do every other day can spiral (positively) into longer strolls on nice days. Add improved fitness to the developing habit and in no time you may be taking 4 hour trips.
Same with going to the pool.
Just an example.

[Ego]

With work, we are programmed to always be busy with stuff that is brought to us by others, I think it is natural to need some adjustment to become fully “self-motivated”.

Intrinsic motivation is hard to foster. Part of the reason it is so difficult is because we are bombarded with intrinsic-like things that fill this need to be busy and are easily measured. A book club list to read. A dog to walk. A video game to finish. A duolingo streak to maintain. A property to manage.

The really interesting intrinsic stuff defies measurement and is the result of a curiosity running wild. Trouble is, the things that keep us busy and are easily measurable, persistent in their desire for attention and chain the curiosity.

[Seppia]

Agreed 100%.
"lists" are one of my pet peeves. A great "how to" for making not work feel like work...

[comandante]

The really interesting intrinsic stuff defies measurement and is the result of a curiosity running wild. Trouble is, the things that keep us busy and are easily measurable, persistent in their desire for attention and chain the curiosity.

That's very well put. Maybe this is linked to our aversion to boredom, either because we feel unproductive, or because we fail to show success to others.
Anyway, interested in how you go about this in your specific case, rube.

[rube]

Wow, lot of replies. Thank you all. Some reflections, thoughts:

It might help to ask ‘what kinds of discomfort can I welcome/design that will induce me to move/act in the ways I most want to?’

That's a very good question, but less easy to answer. During writing of the post one major thing I can think of is that having the Wi-Fi and phone always available is "comfortable", I watch Netflix and read too much (useless) information. Changing this, i.e. shut down the internet on my phone and TV at certain times will kind of be discomfortable as it force me to do something else. that else can be to go to bed sleep earlier which help in feeling more rested or be awake earlier and do something more productive. I actually knew this already, I might have even brought this up prior in my journal. Okay, so that's an excellent point I need to work out and see how to handle going forward.

.....Please let us know how it works out after your trip.

To elaborate on my previous rambling: I do expect am pretty sure I'll like traveling alone. But this trip will be to a place I used to travel to frequently alone, but always work related. This time it is not work related, so it might give a different feeling/atmosphere to travel not work related but also not with DW. Hence I hope I won't hang too much to old nostalgic memories/expectations.
Thanks WRC, for the details and I'll try to remember to post about it afterwards.

The hard question of how to handle a stash so large it cancels all concerns, doubts, worries .... is uncharted territory for us.

If someone would have asked me 20 years ago if I still would have any concerns, doubts, worries, with the stash we have currently I would have laughed in their face and said, "of course not". Today I know that only part of the concerns, doubts and worries are taken away by money. If the stash would tenfold I guess some of the current concerns etc. would be taken away. But other doubts and concerns would still happen, these are regardless of money.

Intrinsic motivation is hard to foster. Part of the reason it is so difficult is because we are bombarded with intrinsic-like things that fill this need to be busy and are easily measured. A book club list to read. A dog to walk. A video game to finish. A duolingo streak to maintain. A property to manage.

The really interesting intrinsic stuff defies measurement and is the result of a curiosity running wild. Trouble is, the things that keep us busy and are easily measurable, persistent in their desire for attention and chain the curiosity.

So very true. I feel motivated if I see things improving/increasing once I have done something. I.e. saving every month x-amount showed me month over month the increase of our NW. Or when I have placed a new kitchen, the new kitchen is there. My Duolingo streak is increasing, even if I didn't really learn something on many days because I just did the simplest lesson again to maintain my streak!
Things that are not as easy to measure improvement or maybe just "maintaining" the status quo, i.e. taking care of my body, it doesn't feel as rewarding.

@Seppia: Thanks for being okay with lazy phases. That seriously made me laugh and to not be too hard on myself.
Saturday: social activity + short stroll on the beach; Sunday: social activity + walked 12KM; Monday DYI + cycling 25KM: Tuesday: Extra lessons Duo Lingo + administration/rental + ....I think some walking later today.

But re. lists, argh, you've got me there. So true. I'm quite a control freak and list(s) help me to not forget anything/give the feeling I'm in control.
I would like to reduce my list(s), to get the weigh of all the things "I need to do" from my shoulders. So I moved some of the "to do" list to an "(n)ever to do" list. Regardless, there is always plenty of things on my todo list. Many things I "must" do, i.e. difficult or not wise to ignore: taxes, handling finances/administration, managing properties but also for things I don't "must" do, but want to. For example, a list for: "traveling to: don't forget arrange/book visa/hotel/flight/insurance/meetup, pack XYZ" etc. I remember when traveling I still had a list, but it was more basic because a lot of other things I simply couldn't do.
Is there an optimal way how to handle to do list/things that can't be forgotten without the feeling there is too much on the list?

@Thanks Comandante, we'll see .

Some takeaways:
-Think about reducing phone usage / internet after xx:xx PM and in bed to change behaviour
-Evaluate solo trip during and afterwards
-Think how to reduce the "to do" list or not let it take over my life
-How to find and perform "the really interesting intrinsic stuff"

No, I'm not going to put these things on my to-do list as I don't want more things on it.....

[rube]

Serendipity and dumb luck have conspired to make us "too comfortable" again, so this is a recurring problem. In the past, our autophagic sabbaticals have allowed us to clean out the clutter, remove the dysfunctional bits, and reinvigorate the parts responsible for MacGyvering. I know we waited too long when I begin wondering if things have gotten too comfortable. The hard question of how to handle a stash so large it cancels all concerns, doubts, worries .... is uncharted territory for us.

I am questioning myself if I have understood you correctly and if you were commenting to the "too comfortable" situation from a mental perspective, a physical perspective or just overall? Because, when I brought this "too comfortable" part up a few posts prior, I was thinking primarily about our house, the car, the bed, all the things immediately around me. Perhaps the stash is/can be part of it too, but for myself I don't see this this is creating an issue in becoming too comfortable. Not yet in any case. At least, I hope.

[Ego]

Today I know that only part of the concerns, doubts and worries are taken away by money. If the stash would tenfold I guess some of the current concerns etc. would be taken away. But other doubts and concerns would still happen, these are regardless of money.

Agreed. I was thinking of a stash large enough to cancel the types of doubts, concerns and worries that money can solve. The temptation to buy the easy solution has never been stronger. I was recently jenga-ing stuff into a storage unit. When I wondered what we would do if it didn't fit, my first thought was.... "well, the next larger unit is only $25/month." Then I caught myself. Nooooooo

My Duolingo streak is increasing, even if I didn't really learn something on many days because I just did the simplest lesson again to maintain my streak!

I just let my multi-year duo streak end, so it was on the top of my mind as something that felt like it was self-motivated.

I am questioning myself if I have understood you correctly and if you were commenting to the "too comfortable" situation from a mental perspective, a physical perspective or just overall?

Both!