My DH and I agree on most things, but housing has become a sticky issue. I finally realized what the main problem is between us. Even though we both desire to live independently, he is a Homesteader but I am a Nomad. His ideal would be living on a few acres, growing our own food, living completely off the grid. My vision would be selling everything we own and travelling around in our van.
Are most of you Nomads or Homesteaders? Are you partnered with the opposite? How have you worked that out?
Are you a Nomad or a Homesteader?
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spider1204
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TheWanderingScholar
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George the original one
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LiquidSapphire
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I dream about taking a full year and RV-ing it across the country, but I think after about a year I'd be about done. I think at heart I'm a homesteader.... but my life path to date does not show that, AT ALL... so maybe I am in denial. I have actually been thinking that I'd be OK with moving again, if presented with an attractive opportunity.
I've been doing the Nomad thing for almost 2 years now and can tell it is *not* the life for me. I like gardening, team sports, animals, crafting, and other things that are not compatible with the kind of life where you pick up every few months and have to fit everything in a vehicle. In exchange for giving up all those things I enjoy I get... different scenery and better weather? I'm definitely a Homesteader. DH is a Nomad. We're trying to figure out some way to just move between two set places seasonally with some travel to new places in the middle. Even that sounds like a huge not worth it hassle. I miss my home and frequently wish I'd never left.
Nomading sounded appealing before I actually lived it.
Nomading sounded appealing before I actually lived it.
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mikenotspam
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The first half of my 20s I was undoubtedly a nomad, always searching for something on the other side of the pond, absolutely in love with the idea of international, couchsurfed travel. Other cultures were better than mine.
I've since come to feel a real need (or see the importance of...?) a community and family bonds, none of which I'd ever been able to successfully build as a nomad. Now that I have that, I don't want to go back. I'm even thinking of *gasp* a mortgage in the area (but with a brilliant ERE plan to pay it completely off in 5 years and then continue to live for free). The idea of saving for years to be an itinerant with no long-term friends by virtue of geographic instability has gone from a grand desire to something to avoid.
I've since come to feel a real need (or see the importance of...?) a community and family bonds, none of which I'd ever been able to successfully build as a nomad. Now that I have that, I don't want to go back. I'm even thinking of *gasp* a mortgage in the area (but with a brilliant ERE plan to pay it completely off in 5 years and then continue to live for free). The idea of saving for years to be an itinerant with no long-term friends by virtue of geographic instability has gone from a grand desire to something to avoid.
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Spartan_Warrior
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jennypenny, you can live off the grid pretty easily as a Nomad, but then (I think) you do have to rely on others for food.
What if you homestead someplace that was a vacation spot in winter (like Denver?) and rented out your place to be a nomad during that period, but lived at home growing your own food during the growing months? (No, I don't know what you do with your chickens and goats while you're roaming. Unless you're roaming very slowly, and they'll follow you somehow.)
Journeyman, could you live somewhere that changes a lot (four seasons, college town, draws international tourists) and/or is near very different places [my mom liked living in Sacramento because it was a quick drive to the beach and also a quick drive to mountains (and snow) and I bet it's a quick drive to some woods, too]?
As for me, I don't like farming or ranching at all. I moved a lot as a kid, and I've lived in one of my favorite places as an adult. I'd say I prefer homesteading if I get to live somewhere good, but if not, maybe I'd prefer roaming. And I do try to think where I'd like to move if my hometown gets much worse.
I definitely like a place that's mine, and I like having lots of tools and other hobby equipment and room to store it where I can find it. I love having multiple hobbies, and I love going back to one after a few years and having all the stuff so I can just jump back in. And I like that a lot of my friends live here. When roaming, I prefer to spend a lot of time in one spot more than seeing as many spots as I can--even on vacation, I'd rather set up camp in one place and make day trips from there than to travel around, and I like getting to know a place better--if you find a good bakery, you get to return repeatedly, for example.
What if you homestead someplace that was a vacation spot in winter (like Denver?) and rented out your place to be a nomad during that period, but lived at home growing your own food during the growing months? (No, I don't know what you do with your chickens and goats while you're roaming. Unless you're roaming very slowly, and they'll follow you somehow.)
Journeyman, could you live somewhere that changes a lot (four seasons, college town, draws international tourists) and/or is near very different places [my mom liked living in Sacramento because it was a quick drive to the beach and also a quick drive to mountains (and snow) and I bet it's a quick drive to some woods, too]?
As for me, I don't like farming or ranching at all. I moved a lot as a kid, and I've lived in one of my favorite places as an adult. I'd say I prefer homesteading if I get to live somewhere good, but if not, maybe I'd prefer roaming. And I do try to think where I'd like to move if my hometown gets much worse.
I definitely like a place that's mine, and I like having lots of tools and other hobby equipment and room to store it where I can find it. I love having multiple hobbies, and I love going back to one after a few years and having all the stuff so I can just jump back in. And I like that a lot of my friends live here. When roaming, I prefer to spend a lot of time in one spot more than seeing as many spots as I can--even on vacation, I'd rather set up camp in one place and make day trips from there than to travel around, and I like getting to know a place better--if you find a good bakery, you get to return repeatedly, for example.
I was nomadic and never stayed in one place longer than two weeks for five years. Then I settled down and tho I have to travel a little to make money, I basically just want to stay home. I have a great idea for an epic journey right now and I'd just rather stay home and watch time go by in the place I love. It's kind of confusing.
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Freedom_2018
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Seeing as how gf and I are planning to be on the road RVing for a few years...I guess we are Nomads.
I never miss home. In fact after a couple of days living in a new place it starts feeling like home....this has applied to studio apartments I have rented on vacations as well as motel 6. Can't ever recall any vacation we've been on (even with spartan living conditions) where we looked forward to coming home. Ever.
That does not mean that we like to cover a lot of places in the span of a vacation, on the contrary we like to travel slow and savor each place as long as we like.
Every time we come upon a scenic/pretty spot, I ask myself if I could live here for the rest of my life...and so far the answer has always been that we probably would enjoy it for a while but then would get itchy feet again and want to travel.
We find ourselves attracted to places that are out of the way, few people, sunny, dark starry nights, mountains, high desert, lakes, lots of hiking, walking, wildlife and bird-watching, quiet. Open, undulating terrain, not too many trees, dramatic rock formations, rock hounding and fossil hunting always welcome. The southwest is a favorite area.
Don't care about restaurants (even on vacation prefer to make all of the meals ourselves), cafes, shopping etc. at all. No attraction to big cities, Vegas (except for the Hoover Dam) and "nightlife"...though by same token every once in a rare while we will drop into a real mom and pop restaurant...more for a chat with the local folk or if there is some truly eclectic food.
Maybe someday will 'settle down' but that is still far away. And then there is the pending motorcycle trip to Alaska and Argentina
Come to think of it, a few years ago, my ice-breaker speech at Toastmasters was titled " A rolling stone gathers no moss"!
I never miss home. In fact after a couple of days living in a new place it starts feeling like home....this has applied to studio apartments I have rented on vacations as well as motel 6. Can't ever recall any vacation we've been on (even with spartan living conditions) where we looked forward to coming home. Ever.
That does not mean that we like to cover a lot of places in the span of a vacation, on the contrary we like to travel slow and savor each place as long as we like.
Every time we come upon a scenic/pretty spot, I ask myself if I could live here for the rest of my life...and so far the answer has always been that we probably would enjoy it for a while but then would get itchy feet again and want to travel.
We find ourselves attracted to places that are out of the way, few people, sunny, dark starry nights, mountains, high desert, lakes, lots of hiking, walking, wildlife and bird-watching, quiet. Open, undulating terrain, not too many trees, dramatic rock formations, rock hounding and fossil hunting always welcome. The southwest is a favorite area.
Don't care about restaurants (even on vacation prefer to make all of the meals ourselves), cafes, shopping etc. at all. No attraction to big cities, Vegas (except for the Hoover Dam) and "nightlife"...though by same token every once in a rare while we will drop into a real mom and pop restaurant...more for a chat with the local folk or if there is some truly eclectic food.
Maybe someday will 'settle down' but that is still far away. And then there is the pending motorcycle trip to Alaska and Argentina
Come to think of it, a few years ago, my ice-breaker speech at Toastmasters was titled " A rolling stone gathers no moss"!
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Freedom_2018
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@riparian:
I think I kind of know what you mean. If I were by myself (i.e. without a close relationship), I probably would fantasize/dream about travel but it is much more fun traveling with a friend/companion who is as keen, especially if we get along well in close quarters.
In the 10 yrs of marriage, I traveled like ~50x less than in the 4 yrs with current partner.
I think I kind of know what you mean. If I were by myself (i.e. without a close relationship), I probably would fantasize/dream about travel but it is much more fun traveling with a friend/companion who is as keen, especially if we get along well in close quarters.
In the 10 yrs of marriage, I traveled like ~50x less than in the 4 yrs with current partner.
This is a good question. I would say I'm a little bit of each. I definitely want to travel and explore the world. I don't want to do it by rushing around and spending two days in every city (although with my current job, I don't have much more time than that).
On the other hand I can't picture traveling permanently, or only living somewhere for 2-3 months, long-term. It just seems like a lot of work.
What I dream of doing is traveling for 4-6 months each year, staying at a new location for a month at a time, and then returning to a 'home base' for the remaining 6-8 months. That way you get the adventure and the community. However, until I've actually tried this lifestyle for a while, I don't know if it is truly fits my personality.
On the other hand I can't picture traveling permanently, or only living somewhere for 2-3 months, long-term. It just seems like a lot of work.
What I dream of doing is traveling for 4-6 months each year, staying at a new location for a month at a time, and then returning to a 'home base' for the remaining 6-8 months. That way you get the adventure and the community. However, until I've actually tried this lifestyle for a while, I don't know if it is truly fits my personality.
I'm definitely a nomad. aside from my hobby equipment, i own very little. My fiance,however, is very much a homesteader type. Comes with owning beagles, i guess. I probably wouldn't have even bought a house if i hadn't met her and wanted to marry her. At least we both don't want kids, so that makes life easier.
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jennypenny
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So most of us have partnered up with people who are the opposite? Is that coincidence?
@S--I think my DH would travel with me if I pushed, but I'm afraid he'll feel like you do. Have you worked out a compromise? Or are you trying to learn to like it?
I've agreed to try and go the homesteading route. We're talking about spending 1-2 months in Florida each winter (I don't do well in the cold). Maybe that will satisfy my need to move around. At least homesteading satisfies my inner prepper. I plan on indulging that part of me a little more now.
@S--I think my DH would travel with me if I pushed, but I'm afraid he'll feel like you do. Have you worked out a compromise? Or are you trying to learn to like it?
I've agreed to try and go the homesteading route. We're talking about spending 1-2 months in Florida each winter (I don't do well in the cold). Maybe that will satisfy my need to move around. At least homesteading satisfies my inner prepper. I plan on indulging that part of me a little more now.
@jennypenny We've sort of compromised by travelling less often. We're renting our current place for 6 months and this summer we stayed in one place with friends for 3ish months. Our eventual goal may be to travel between two set places so I'd sort of have two homesteads and he'd get to see different places in between. It still seems like a lot of pointless hassle to me and kind of boring to him though.