LiquidSapphire's Journal

Where are you and where are you going?
LiquidSapphire
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Re: LiquidSapphire's Journal

Post by LiquidSapphire » Fri Oct 12, 2018 2:29 pm

Haiii!!!

I have found myself at major crossroads.

As far as my goals go I have done shit all lately and that is actually basically the problem. (Have not lost 20 lbs, have not gotten more spiritual, have not launched blog or any other type of business).

Since my last update I injured myself but ran the half marathon anyway, just reaaaaally slowly haha. I continued to make more friends and be 'popular' and have lots of fun. I went to New Zealand and Australia for a month in November. I lost a major income source in January and I had to kick out my roommate. Then I had to pay my taxes! And I decided to replace my car. So I went through sort of a financial shit storm. Thankfully all I had to do was sell some stock. It's not a bad life when that's as bad as it gets. ERE is very powerful.

Instead of fixing any of these financial issues I said "la la la I'm not listening" and I began training for an Olympic Triathlon in February, which turns out to be a really fucking expensive sport, btw. That was actually an exceptional endeavor as I was a complete noob in swim and bike. I trained pretty hard core for six months. I don't think I could have done it while working a full time job. But I ended running a Sprint Tri in 1:37 and an Olympic in 3:30. I felt pretty good about both efforts being as they were both first time races, and never have I ever considered myself an athlete.

The whole time I was training I kept saying "I'll finish training and then I'll figure out what I'm doing with my life." Training was a very convenient distraction from my existential crisis. In the middle of training I did decide to start dating one of my good friends. He's a sweetheart who accepts and understands me. I never thought I'd meet a potential partner out "in the wild" and not online but somehow I managed this. So far so good.

So then I ran the races and I started looking around and while I had a sweet boyfriend now in my life, I didn't have much else going on. I wasn't working, I wasn't being productive, I wasn't making progress, and I was wasting a ton of time. Also I wasn't tracking my expenses and over the past few months noticed my NW was not going up anymore. If anything it was starting to go down just a bit. And I know that while most "normal" people would still consider me "frugal" - I had inflated my lifestyle far beyond my accumulation days. Spending probably $2000-$2500 per month? I honestly have no idea. Let me tell you watching that NW number go DOWN with no plan of getting it to go back UP is scary. Scary scary scary. Even though I have run the numbers as often as any of you and noted that I could make it with even less money, I didn't want to go there.

I found myself with 4 choices.

1) Deflate my lifestyle and keep living off savings (Scary)
2) Rebuild my business/replace lost income. (I didn't want to do this, I think I was just too burned out.)
3) Launch entirely new business/career/job
4) Go back to my old career and make a fuck ton of money.

I was all set to choose #3, I really really was. I was all over it. I told all of my friends that was the plan. But then my training concluded and.... I couldn't do it. I was terrified.

I found myself terrified to invest any type of large sums into #3 and exasperbating my financial issues. I didn't want to hire any coaches, take any classes, take any risks. Take my decreasing net worth and make it go down even faster for something that wasn't a sure thing? Nope nope nope. I also found myself terrified to fail in the endeavor, because I was putting so many of my hopes and dreams on #3. Like if I launched something and failed, I'd have so much of my identity tied into it, and I would have nothing else in my life to distract me or focus on while I ran into hardships with #3. I also didn't really feel pulled in any particular direction very strongly. I wasn't intrinsically driven.

So in the end I chose #4 and I start on Monday.

I hit up my old contacts and got a job back in my old field at a higher salary than I had before, and I'm getting my student loans paid off. I'm starting again on Monday. Which is scaring the living daylights out of me. Because I was so desperately unhappy. But I feel I have taken some precautions to avoid some of the parts of the work that I have hated the most.

1) I know who my main boss is. I have worked with her before, and we mutually respect each other. This should be a really big boon.
2) I'll have a ton of flexibility - every other Friday off and 2x/wk work from home.
3) I'm older and wiser now. I hope I will be able to keep a good perspective and manage the stress of it better.
4) I can quit at ANY time. I didn't feel I could quit before. But I have enough funds that if I decide that this move is not financially worth it, I can tell them to go fuck themselves at any time and choose another option.
5) It fixes my 6 year resume gap. So I can put in 1-2 years into this little job and then it will be much easier to move into different work, different career, different job. I can reestablish a reputation and it gives me more mobility.
6) There should be enough variety to keep from becoming suicidal.

It also solves my other two issues -
1) Now that I will have more money coming in than I know what to do with, I have no financial fears in investing in myself. If I find a class I want to take, I take it. If I want to hire help with something, I hire it. I know where the replacement funds are coming from. I won't feel like I'm compromising my financial security.

2) If I try a thing, and it fails, so what. It doesn't and won't define me like it would now, because it won't be the only thing I have going on. Because now when people ask me what I do for a living, it's not this wishy washy "Oh I am ERE but I have this side thing blah blah blah" but I have the standard response again. "I"m in human resources." Oh. Snooze fest. Move on.

Additionally, I will be able to start rapidly saving again and should be able to achieve 3% WR at whatever lifestyle I choose to settle at. At which time I will quit.

The ERE lifestyle is powerful, and pretty great. There is so much good there, and I have to tell you how empowering it is to know that if I ever have to, I can go back to living that lifestyle again. I will never, ever HAVE to work again.

But I am finding that in my desperation and unhappiness of 6 years ago, I miscalculated a few things that this decision should help me fix.

1) I should have bought a house/condo before I quit. I didn't, and housing prices in Denver pretty much tripled. I feel very unsettled by this. I am still renting and roommate-ing and keeping my costs low ($615/mo) but I don't feel in control. I love Denver and I want to stay. I need to secure some type of roof/housing so that I can stay. Getting a mortgage should be a cakewalk now.

2) I don't like having to watch my social spending. I don't want to have to say no to going out to dinner with my friends because I already went 3 times this week and it's blowing my budget. I don't want to have to really wonder if $30 to go to a haunted house with my friends is "worth it". Not that they are big spenders, they really aren't, but I don't want to have to choose not to see my friends, or not to do something fun, because it costs money. I need to figure out how much I want to spend on this on the regular, and save money to account for this.

3) I don't mind biking, I have proven to myself I can bike 25 miles in under 90 minutes! But I just do not want to make it my full time mode of transportation. Biking takes longer. And Biking sucks in the winter, I don't care what MMM says. One wipe out on some ice or some other stupid driver not seeing me on the road can wreck you for life. I have a car. I love my car. My car makes my world bigger and better. I can traverse the whole Denver Metro Area multiple times in a whole day and sometimes I do because I just have that many social engagements. Relying on just a bike and the bus makes my world small. I don't like it. It's not for me. The car I have should last me a good 10 years, but I need to incorporate this into my spending plan.

So am I an ERE failure? I don't know. Maybe some of you think so and if so I don't care. I don't regret finding ERE or pursuing it. I learned so much. I learned how cheaply I can really live. That alone was so worth it. I learned what I value, and what I don't. I got to enjoy 6 years away from the rat race. I did and accomplished things that never would have happened if I was still working. But I am finding that I want to inflate my lifestyle beyond what I had when I was accumulating. I am choosing to do so. I can also choose to deflate it just as easily. Choice is the best freedom on this planet. There are no awards for "I'm the best most frugalist person in my social circle!"

Part of me wants to say that I wish I had stayed in longer and saved more, to avoid this turn of events, but honestly I don't know that I could have. I was so mentally done. Furthermore I think I was telling myself a story that I had to save all of my money up front, because once I pulled a rip cord and quit, I may never, ever get a job making that kind of money ever again. It has blown my mind how not true that was. I pretty much got handed a 6 figure job on a silver platter once I decided I wanted one again. It was so stupidly easy.

Ultimately, 6 years out, I think I made the right call. I quit at the right time. Not too early. Not too late. I had enough money to retire at a barebones lifestyle ERE style, or live a really rich lifestyle in a semi-retired fashion, which is what I ended up doing. I was able to consciously and leisurely decide to go back to work at a date and time of my choosing, in a much better mental space, to plus up my savings to a level I can decide is appropriate at my leisure. I think, for me, this path was superior to slogging it out "one more year."

LiquidSapphire
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Re: LiquidSapphire's Journal

Post by LiquidSapphire » Fri Oct 12, 2018 4:23 pm

hi wolf hi chenda nice to hear from you :)

I always add goals so I will add new goals:
Financial
1) Pay off student loans and other minor debts (Should happen quickly)
2) Buy property, probably a condo, idk
3) Invest and Transition into more enjoyable work that promotes "Flow" and "Meaning" (this is sort of non-financial too)
4) Track my spending and choose a more sustainable lifestyle
5) Save enough to get to a 3% WR for that lifestyle

Non-Financial
1) Drop 20 lbs (haha)
2) Develop a daily Spirituality practice (haha)
Haha because I have written this several times and have not yet achieved these so. Something to review in the future as to why that is.

I have smaller goals but these are really the big ones.

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C40
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Re: LiquidSapphire's Journal

Post by C40 » Fri Oct 12, 2018 5:18 pm

Thanks for sharing all that. A lot of it resonated with me.

I was in Denver a few weeks ago. I hung out near Cheesman park a bit (for those not familiar - a pretty old and hip neighborhood maybe a mile or two from downtown) and man, that is a place I'd love to live. It seems like nearly everyone there is 25-40 years old, like it's mostly women(??), and basically every one of them is in decent or great shape, and likely has their lives together, at least professionally. It's packed full of potential friends and lovers. I haven't even bothered looking at house prices around there in the last couple years. I'm sure it's insane. I could tell a noticeable difference (even more people as I described above) since the last time I was there.

This also brings up something that has really started to annoy me now that I'm trying to choose potential cities to live statically in. So many of the people I'd want to be friends with flock into the city centers - in big and expensive cities. So that leaves the cheap cities (like, Wichita, which I was in a bit before Denver) with an abnormally high concentration of high faith christian conservatives, or the people without enough financial success to move out.



Anyways.. the thought has entered my mind here and there to go work more. Part of it is that I'd like more money so I don't have to limit where I live so much. Another part of it is that after a few years of doing whatever I want, I'm not sure that going back to work for a few years would have a large reduction in my happiness. It's really hard to tell. On one hand, many days I almost can't imagine having to wake up early and always go do what is needed for work. But on the other, I do miss being in that large organization where I could specialize in the areas of my own personal strengths and thus my efforts causing large outputs/improvements. I find myself wishing that I had stayed in touch with some coworkers so I had a better idea of if/how much things have changed there and just whether I would want to try to go back. I don't know.. Right now I'm excited about a bunch of entrepreneurial things I would start doing once I have a home in one city and some space/land. I feel like there's a good chance I'll start making money from some of those, and that will make up for the house cost. So I think I'll go that route for now. Of course I could be totally fooling myself. I've really been meaning to read that book - I think it's "Thinking, Fast and Slow", because I feel like I'm noticing that some of my bigger decisions are really made down in some part of my brain I have little understanding of or control over (and then I go through some process of deciding logically on that)

classical_Liberal
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Re: LiquidSapphire's Journal

Post by classical_Liberal » Fri Oct 12, 2018 5:49 pm

LiquidSapphire wrote:
Fri Oct 12, 2018 2:29 pm
Ultimately, 6 years out, I think I made the right call. I quit at the right time. Not too early. Not too late. I had enough money to retire at a barebones lifestyle ERE style, or live a really rich lifestyle in a semi-retired fashion, which is what I ended up doing. I was able to consciously and leisurely decide to go back to work at a date and time of my choosing, in a much better mental space, to plus up my savings to a level I can decide is appropriate at my leisure. I think, for me, this path was superior to slogging it out "one more year."
Very helpful analysis for someone about to take the leap on the front side of your decision six years ago. The ease at which you reentered the workforce with excellent compensation really doesn't surprise me though. There's a lot of doom and gloom on that front, ie "I'll never get paid this kind of money again". Total BS, talented people tend to underestimate their value. I'm gonna have to go back and read the rest of your journal now, thanks!

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Re: LiquidSapphire's Journal

Post by chenda » Fri Oct 12, 2018 6:06 pm

Thanks also for the update. Sounds weird but I clearly remember you retiring, because I was stuck in a job I hated in 2012 and would read your journal for inspiration. Can't believe its been 6 years! Sounds like you've had a great time overall so I certainly don't think you've failed, and you're returning to work on your own terms.

Wrt to spirituality, I don't know if this is of interest but I've been listening to a lot of Vedanta talks recently, especially by Swami Sarvapriyananda. He is an incredibly good speaker. https://vedanta.org/video-talks/

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Re: LiquidSapphire's Journal

Post by LiberateMind » Fri Oct 12, 2018 11:11 pm

Choice is the best freedom on this planet.
Well put and welcome back. Your journal is truly inspirational. Would love to hear more on how the new decision turns out.

LiquidSapphire
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Re: LiquidSapphire's Journal

Post by LiquidSapphire » Sun Oct 14, 2018 11:21 pm

Hi C40!!
So cool to hear from you. Peeked in on you briefly and saw you retired, that's amazing, congrats. :) It is so cool to look at people that were posting and pursuing while I was and see we have all met what we were striving for.

It is such a relief to hear that someone else is struggling with choice of city. I haven't gone back to read my entire journal but I do believe one of my initial decisions was that I'd be willing to not live in Denver if/when housing became unaffordable. To be fair, back then I would have considered selling my left arm if it meant the difference of being able to quit work or not. Anyway, I have looked both in the bay area and in Denver now recently for cheap housing and I simply did not come across options in the price ranges that would fit a Jacob level budget. (I remember trying to find an RV Lot in the Bay area for a reasonable amount and really struggled, and I looked here in Denver recently and there was nothing, as an example.) Which leaves two options: pay up or move. I think initially I was willing to be more flexible and move but I have changed and that is no longer the case. Mainly, I finally live close enough to downtown that I actually am able to fully enjoy the city. It has opened up my world so much. I have met so many cool people and done a lot of cool things that I chose not to do before because I was always in a far flung suburb and far away from the action. I underestimated how much fun it is to be near 'the action'. It made a very big difference in my happiness. I have roots now here that I didn't before, and now it would take so much to get me to leave. So much that I'd rather go back to work than leave.

To that end, if you wanted my opinion, I'd suggest settling in a "big city" for a year and see what you thought of it. You can absorb any extra costs for a year and see if it makes the difference in happiness for you that it did for me. If so, then you can go back to work with confidence that it's worth it. I also think/hope that more work will not have a large reduction in my happiness. I took 6 years off and I'm better for it, so spending 2-5 back in a 9-5 didn't seem so bad now all of a sudden. I have a plan to stay in this job for 18-24 months, in which case, I can transition to something else for another 36, which should be all I need to meet every financial goal I have. I am hoping that making this bargain with myself should make swallowing this 'work' pill much easier. I do have days where I really relish sleeping in and having a whole day to myself that I can direct what I want to do where I want to do it and when. But I also found myself not really making the most of my time, and not appreciating my time off a lot, and burning through time with nothing to show for it. I figured if I didn't have the drive/discipline to be judicious with my time, I may as well sell some of it until I could find another way to use it. That was another huge factor for me.

One major factor in getting this job was one of my former coworkers went to bat for me. I think that's one reason it was so easy - though I did get some other interest from applying to organizations on my own without an accompanying reference. Is there anyway you could find some former coworkers on facebook or linkedin? I have to admit Facebook has been instrumental for me in keeping 'in touch' with people from my former life. I have been surprised at how much people are willing and able to help me even though I haven't spoken to them in five years. I bet you might have similar results.

To be honest, going back to work was one of those decisions my brain made without me being really conscious of it. It took a lot of soul searching to realize that in fact it was, for me, the superior option emotionally. If that took my brain making up logical reasons after the fact for why it makes sense, okay fine, but I do feel at peace with it. I also feel good in that I checked with many people close to me, and literally everyone told me it was a good idea. Sure none of them are retired, but also they all know me and wouldn't knowingly steer me wrong. Which helped me feel good about it also.

Thanks to everyone else for also stopping by. I'll check out those links chenda! I hope to be less of a stranger now that I am refocusing financially again. I found this forum an incredible support to me and also a tremendous way to focus while I was pursuing initial retirement. I hope to use this space again to continue staying on track and I am sure I will start participating in other threads as well.

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FBeyer
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Re: LiquidSapphire's Journal

Post by FBeyer » Mon Oct 15, 2018 2:30 am

LiquidSapphire wrote:
Fri Oct 12, 2018 4:23 pm
hi wolf hi chenda nice to hear from you :)

I always add goals so I will add new goals:
Financial
1) Pay off student loans and other minor debts (Should happen quickly)
2) Buy property, probably a condo, idk
3) Invest and Transition into more enjoyable work that promotes "Flow" and "Meaning" (this is sort of non-financial too)
4) Track my spending and choose a more sustainable lifestyle
5) Save enough to get to a 3% WR for that lifestyle

Non-Financial
1) Drop 20 lbs (haha)
2) Develop a daily Spirituality practice (haha)
Haha because I have written this several times and have not yet achieved these so. Something to review in the future as to why that is.

I have smaller goals but these are really the big ones.
This is probably my favorite thing to do at the moment: helping people who are having a hard time focusing and starting on what they've chosen to focus on.

How do you intend to achieve 5 financial goals and 2 non-financial goals at the same time? I don't want excuses now, I want to see the actual plan/timetable you've laid out to make certain that Mon-Sun you put in the necessary work to make all that happen. Once we can see that plan, we can all help you get it done. And I'm not even kidding. Quote me when you put up the actionable things you *will* do (so I get a notification) or send me a PM with your personal plan on how to make that happen and I'll pick it apart until it actually happens.

'know what I think? I think someone who can waltz right back into a job after leaving the business 6 years past, is not only an amazing colleague, but also a good networker, and those kinds of people? Those kinds of people tend to get mo'fuggin shit done, without thinking too much of it, and that leads back to an inflated sense of how much can be done at the same time, by one person alone. If left unchecked, goals will pile up, and planning spirals out of control.

SHOW ME, your plan to make all 7 things happen simultaneously and I'll tell you why you're not achieveing what you want to achieve.

Much love
FBeyer :D

LiquidSapphire
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Re: LiquidSapphire's Journal

Post by LiquidSapphire » Mon Oct 15, 2018 11:04 pm

FBeyer wrote:
Mon Oct 15, 2018 2:30 am
This is probably my favorite thing to do at the moment: helping people who are having a hard time focusing and starting on what they've chosen to focus on.

How do you intend to achieve 5 financial goals and 2 non-financial goals at the same time? I don't want excuses now, I want to see the actual plan/timetable you've laid out to make certain that Mon-Sun you put in the necessary work to make all that happen. Once we can see that plan, we can all help you get it done. And I'm not even kidding. Quote me when you put up the actionable things you *will* do (so I get a notification) or send me a PM with your personal plan on how to make that happen and I'll pick it apart until it actually happens.

'know what I think? I think someone who can waltz right back into a job after leaving the business 6 years past, is not only an amazing colleague, but also a good networker, and those kinds of people? Those kinds of people tend to get mo'fuggin shit done, without thinking too much of it, and that leads back to an inflated sense of how much can be done at the same time, by one person alone. If left unchecked, goals will pile up, and planning spirals out of control.

SHOW ME, your plan to make all 7 things happen simultaneously and I'll tell you why you're not achieveing what you want to achieve.

Much love
FBeyer :D
This is awesome and so appreciated. Thank you.
Goal 1: fill out student loan reimbursement paperwork tomorrow. When the money comes, throw it at the loans. (Let's call it 11/30/18)
In the meantime take a TBD % of every paycheck and pay off debt in this order:
$5,000 - pay off 0% credit card (~11/30/18)
$15000 - pay back a 0% personal loan to my dad (~5/31/18)

Goal 2: already signed up my dad to start getting emails from Zillow. He likes to look at places for me. This week I will contact a realtor that I have a reference for and ask her some questions. See what she has to say. Then decide better plan.

Goal 3: I am on the final chapter of "flow" by csikszentmihalyi. But I don't know where to go from here. I think I want to focus on where I find flow and meaning in the new job for now. If I can create it here it'll be easier to create it again again and better. This week I'm focusing on new relationships. There are many to forge.

Goal 4: signed up for mint, dont spend cash, put all spending on credit cards, see where we are at Nov 1. Slowly redo a modified 21 day makeover that Jacob recommends and also maybe reread my journal and repeat my same steps again from 6 yrs ago over the next few months.

Goal 5: Calculate new spending goal from goal 4, do math to find how much I need, save save save, pay off the mortgage, and invest. Go find out what Jacob thinks is a good strategy these days. I know he posted once but I forgot what he said. I know dogs of the dow fell out of favor.

Goal 6: this is hard. I am keeping a food journal most days but I need to get back on it. I need to ensure a consistent weekly deficit. No excuses.

Goal 7: I need to choose a practice, even just 5 min of visualizing daily, and choose a time to practice it. But I work at 630am and I don't want to get up even earlier to do it. And I haven't located a consistent daily cue to trigger the behavior. I spend the night with my bf sometimes and it'd be weird and strange and self conscious to sit and meditate at his place after work, or before bed time. Or at work, that seems strange. Maybe look for examples of how other busy people do this.

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FBeyer
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Re: LiquidSapphire's Journal

Post by FBeyer » Thu Oct 25, 2018 6:04 am

...it'd be weird and strange and self conscious to sit and meditate at his place after work, or before bed time.
If you can use his toilet, you can sit on his sofa and mediate. It's a non-issue. Get over it :lol:

I'll come back and take a look at everything later, but for now: I suggest you link up your spiritual practice with your eating. When eating becomes a time for introspection or reflection, you'll inevitably start to consider what you're eating too. Eating in itself can be a spiritual practice but since there are many facets of that, I can't comment on exactly how you'd go about that. That way meal break becomes your mind break too. Use one as a cue for the other. So no phone, no computer, no bullshit while you're eating. Focus on your food. Also, no one can tell you're focusing on your food.

Choose 1:
Before you eat, Sit for 5 minute. OR After you've eaten, sit for 5 minutes.

If you can't, in any possible way, find 5 minutes to recuperate your mind before/after eating, you've got bigger things to worry about :D

I'm not sure what the point of a food journal is? Looking at what you've already eaten seems to be as pointless as worrying about the past. I have no idea what a journal will do for you, besides give you a paper trail you can beat yourself over the head with.[1]

Learning to eating well starts when you plan your week's meals. We've implemented a silly trick in our house. We've written the week's meal plan on the back of our shopping list. Once we're done shopping we can hang the meal plan on the fridge. I always know what I'm going to eat; it's there on the plan. You won't have to think or expend willpower to make eating well happen. You've planned your proper meals, you've written the shopping list, you've gone shopping once and you only bought what was on the shopping list, and you've got the list on your fridge. No snacks, no shit, no superfluous buying at the supermarket, just your plan that you know full-well does you good. It'll take a couple of weeks to get used to, but it'll not only help you eat well, it'll also free up more mental space.

If you're feeling experimental I'd suggest trying out intermittent fasting. IF teaches you quickly that hunger in the western world is completely safe to ignore, and it goes away after 10 minutes too! It'll stabilize your blood sugar and teach you all sorts of odd things about how we eat in the western world. You'll probably find that your calorie intake will stabilize to a slightly lower level than it was before. IF takes care of sugar cravings and ridiculous afternoon snacking. Yes, really… Unless the snacking is entirely habitual in which case you need to address the habit, not the fluctuating blood sugar issue.

Summary: Eating and spiritual practice really should go together. Planning helps more than revision.


[1] Keeping tabs on fuckups is not a good motivator in general ;)

LiquidSapphire
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Re: LiquidSapphire's Journal

Post by LiquidSapphire » Sun Nov 18, 2018 4:53 pm

1) Paperwork in process. Government giving YOU money never happens quickly. Paid off my 0% credit card and funded my Roth and HSA for 2018. Hoarding cash so in January I will fund the Roth and HSA for 2019 and then I'll pay the IRS and my dad.
2) I realized a couple things. First, that I have not actually lived in the type of property that I want to buy. I've never lived in or owned a condo. So I think instead I am going to scope out the complex I want to live in (or one like it) and live there for a year and see how it goes before I throw down a few hundred thou to own it. Also I haven't lived alone in a while. and I think I'd enjoy that, especially now that I can afford it. Because presumably I'll be living with a partner in a year or two. So I'll move next year and continue renting, but with more purpose. Just have to find a good location.
3) I am working toward this - gonna start up with music lessons again (flow activity) and I am still working toward building relationships.
4) Somehow I tried to figure out what I spent in each category in Oct but Mint didn't want me to look backwards when I was adjusting budget categories in November, annoyingly, so I will wait a month and then peek in November.
5) it's on my back burner to invest in dividend stocks but I haven't really thought out a more specific strategy. TBD, won't have significant money to do it with for a while
6) Doing pretty well with this. I'm journaling, cut out sugar and flour, walking 10000 steps per day (its the only workout I can fit in with my current schedule which is such an intense adjustment. I feel like I have NO TIME anymore). I've tried intermittent fasting twice. The longer fasts, 16/8 for example, are tougher on women hormonally. I did it for a straight month twice and quit both times, the hunger during the fasting periods never went away for me. I got headaches and my blood sugar was all over the place. sucked a lot.
7) Have done shit all. But 5 minutes before/after meals at work is tough, I'm usually using that time to get in steps. BUT one benefit is I can sit and stare at my computer for 5 minutes, or have my eyes closed, and no one can tell what I"m doing, ha ha! so you know I will ponder that some more.

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Re: LiquidSapphire's Journal

Post by 2Birds1Stone » Sun Nov 18, 2018 9:40 pm

I am so very intrigued by your next chapter. Initially clicked on your thread this morning, reading the top post on this page (Oct 12) and going back this evening to read the entire thing from the beginning. Like @classic_Liberal, I'm on the front end of your 6 year journey off, and terrified that I will pull the plug too early (have to live on $16-18k/yr and continue to stress whether or not I have "enough").

Anyway, I wanted to pop in and say that your journey has been inspirational, and I really enjoy your writing.

LiquidSapphire
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Re: LiquidSapphire's Journal

Post by LiquidSapphire » Fri Dec 07, 2018 1:03 pm

1) Paperwork processed! My work processed a $10000 student loan payment. I had to ask some people to expedite it because I have to pay taxes on it; better to do that this year than next. And they did! Yay! I know some of you think one should pay off all debts no matter what ASAP, but here is an example where it paid not to pay. So far, anyway. They'll pay the remaining balance in about a year. That's their rule so. shrugs. doesn't matter to me.
2) I still want to move and rent a condo and live there on my own and maybe buy one. no update, but I definitely think I need to move soon my roommate is starting to get on my nerves on occasion. I think I just wanna live alone for a while.
3) I am starting music lessons! I have one next week just to see if I like that school. I am focusing pretty hard on relationships too, friendships mainly. I have much less time, so I am focusing on which friendships do I actively want to put effort into maintaining, and which ones, if they fade away, I'll be okay with that. It seems very emotionless and calculated but. I have limited time and energy and I want to make sure the people I'm spending it on are worth it.
4) Mint says I spent $2685. I had some big annual/semi-annual expenses come up. I buy my mobile phone plan once per year ($150) and I buy protein powder in bulk ($150). I went to the Dentist for an annual cleaning ($150). I paid some coin insurance ($50). I paid $150 of my dad's bills that he pays me back for. So all of that was roughly $650; and I'm gearing up for Christmas presents shopping. I gave zero fucks about spending/saving money. So maybe I might start targeting roughly $2000/mo on the average; I'll only need to make a few small cuts. We'll see how next month goes. It's nice to see a number that is maybe "high" compared to others here, but compared to mainstream, still low. In theory I am at a 5% WR roughly right now if I can maintain a $2000/mo average.
5) I need to put together some type of stock strategy portfolio, but, well, stocks are going down and I'm saving money to pay other things first so... still pending.
6) Kicking ass and taking names. I'm losing about 2 lbs per week. I'm battling a lot of hunger but it is working at a pretty good clip. Also, a bunch of well meaning crabs in a bucket have come out to tell me how I don't really need to lose any more weight and am I sure that cutting out sugar and flour is healthy? Which is really fucking annoying.
7) I still really suck at this...I am not regularly meditating at all. I need to build a daily routine that works this in... I will do that this month. I have spent November creating reminders and routines for things that have to happen weekly, monthly, annually, and that is working pretty well. I rely heavily upon FollowUpThen - I don't know if I am grandfathered in or what but I can set what feels like unlimited recurring reminders and I run my life out of my email inbox. So I send an email to FollowUpThen to remind me to do something every week, or every month, or every 3 months, or whatever, and when that email pops up, I take action on it. You can also set up your own GettingThingsDone system in your email inbox, which honestly, is something I have considered as well and might transition to instead. I have that at work and that works phenomenally.

Work is still going okay; I am busy but my stress levels are normalizing and I am getting used to things. I think one thing I didn't really fully appreciate is how exhausting it is to start a new job where you're learning so much. Learning who is who and new procedures for doing things, and new rules, and blah blah. It's a lot to mentally assimilate. I am about 7 weeks into it though and I am still on a learning curve but it's becoming less steep. I think probably in a couple months I should be good to go and I'll have even more mental energy to devote to other things.

prognastat
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Re: LiquidSapphire's Journal

Post by prognastat » Fri Dec 07, 2018 1:46 pm

1) Definitely a nice little Christmas bonus.

6) Once you start exceeding the average this becomes quite common. People will give you compliments, but caution you about not going to far/being too extreme etc. Also who is asking you if cutting out sugar is healthy? Most people by now seem to understand that sugar is not good. Good job on the progress though.

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FBeyer
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Re: LiquidSapphire's Journal

Post by FBeyer » Fri Dec 07, 2018 2:02 pm

If you can't squeeze in 5 mins before/after eating, you should go to bed 5 minutes earlier. I'll iterate: If you can't find 5 minutes in your everyday life, it's not your lack of 'spirituality' that is killing you. :D

The point of meditation/reflection is not to reach a certain goal. You're not going to become tranquil from meditation/gratitude. That's not how it works. The point of meditation is to see your life true, as true as you can. Could it be that when you sit down to reflect on your state of mind, that you're not feeling very well and you're subconsciously 'too busy' to make it happen, because it's really fuggin' unpleasant? There's a myriad of reasons why it's not working for you, but we're talking 5 minutes here. Hand on your heart: do you not have 5 minutes at any time during your day where you can sit still?

2lbs per week is a lot. So good job... I think. Vitamin deficiency was a problem for me until recently because I didn't monitor my nutrients properly. If you're losing that much weight, that fast, a supplement could be a good idea. To the best of my limited knowledge anyway.

Quadalupe
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Re: LiquidSapphire's Journal

Post by Quadalupe » Fri Dec 07, 2018 2:40 pm

And if you'd like some more social help: I also want to start meditating again, so maybe we can motivate each other? :D

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