Chenda's sober ramblings.

[Biscuits and Gravy]

Yep, just passed the two week mark. My sleep and mood are much improved. I still crave alcohol as an escape, especially when my kids are being a bit much, but the cravings are fading. Sobriety is forcing me to “be in the moment” more and, while that is the secret to happiness, it can certainly be hard. I was only going to do Dry January, but now I plan to stay sober. I have an extended family trip in February and a chick trip in April for which I’ll probably make exceptions, but I don’t want to start drinking consistently again.

Keep it up, chenda! Your sobriety and reflections are encouraging.

[Ego]

Keep it up, chenda! Your sobriety and reflections are encouraging.

+1 to both of you! Encouraging indeed.

[Seppia]

This thread and a couple other events (I may add a journal post soon and describe them) have had a positive impact on my alcohol consumption.
I would say I more or less have cut it by 75% since the first post.
Hopefully I make this a lasting change. Funnily enough when I quit smoking I first went through a period when I had decide I wanted to eventually quit, but would first start easy and just reduce.
Once reduced, the addiction gets weaker, and it was SUPER easy for me to quit.

Hopefully I get there, but for the moment: Thanks chenda!

I will add that the most obvious immediate benefit I experienced is sleep quality* as many have reported.

*who could have predicted that cutting poison intake would be beneficial?

[2Birds1Stone]

Nice to see this positive change has been a little contagious.

Today will be day 18 for me. It's mostly been easy, except for a birthday party yesterday where the person we were celebrating along with their family are big drinkers, so yesterday involved several bottles of wine, some cocktails, and dessert martini's.......DW and I enjoyed Peroni 0, which happened to be buy 1 get 1 free at Publix.

[chenda]

Great to hear @Seppia glad it's helping!

@2b1s - I've always been a fan of peroni and their 0% is very good. Apparently it's like normal peroni except they suck out all the alcohol somehow.

[Laura Ingalls]

@smashter as they say on Reddit username checks out. Congratulations on your sobriety.

@ego
Interesting article. I have varied real life experience with the drug class SSRI. My present regimen seems to have no noticeable side effects. I think it makes the management of negative emotions much easier. It don’t it really flattens as much as it lengthens my fuse just long enough that I don’t randomly start nuking my relationships.

PDS is not a real thing is BS.

My dose is low and cheap and improving my life.

[chenda]

Anti-depressants can be a very contentious and sensitive topic.

I do agree that commercial advertising of anti-depressants (or indeed any prescription drug) is unethical, and is banned in most countries.

[Biscuits and Gravy]

Alright, I made it 17 days, but last night I downed the last two Guinness (Guinnesses?) in my fridge (I don’t even like Guinness). I can handle the kids, the long work day, the extended conversation with my ex and his new wife, the commute, the dishes stacked in the sink, the cat yet again peeing on my rug, and getting home at 6 and scrambling to make dinner for two hungry kids. But ultimately it was my OCD that weakened me. I just wanted a blessed moment or two away from the OCD.

Anyway, back on the horse today. I’ll do better.
/confession

[Henry]

But ultimately it was my OCD that weakened me.

I would have thought it was the two remaining Guinness's in the fridge.

[Biscuits and Gravy]

Guinness's

That can’t be it. What is the Guinness possessing?
Yeah, shoulda poured them out when I was stronger.

[Henry]

What is the Guinness possessing?

Your 17 days.

[Biscuits and Gravy]

Eh, needs work, JasonakaHenry.
(Sorry for the hijack, chenda. I hope you’re staying strong!)

[Henry]

Any person who went to one AA/NA meeting and reads this thread will see a virtual meeting. Can't let the group asshole rattle your cage.

[Biscuits and Gravy]

Dude I’ve spent the last 6 years in child-rearing and divorce hell. You’re no where even close to my cage. Anyway, glad to have you back.

[chenda]

Alright, I made it 17 days, but last night I downed the last two Guinness

Don't worry biscuits, we'll call it medicinal ; ) Fun fact, my granddad was prescribed a daily pint of Guinness when he was recovering from TB in Belfast.

The other night I went on a leaving do and I was one of the few sober people. Turns out I not only don't need alcohol to socialise but I can actually make conversation better when sober. And I don't get the morning-after cringe 'wtf did I say that?' Also, Big Drop Paradiso on draft is by far the finest 0% beer I have thus far tried. Its so good it tastes like real beer, to the point I had to double check it was actually alcohol free.

I borrowed my sister's car and drove which was another perk. When I drove home in the early hours I went across country and went on a detour down some narrow country lanes. It was pitch black and there was no other traffic about, just endless dark fields and a few lonely houses whose occupants had long since go to bed. I forgotten how nice night driving can be, and think a road trip might be in order this summer.

[AxelHeyst]

Turns out I not only don't need alcohol to socialise but I can actually make conversation better when sober.

Nice one chenda!

[white belt]

This is a very interesting thread for me to read through. It seems alcohol serves a different function for different people. I still drink, however for me alcohol is and has always been a "social drug". I never get an urge to drink when I'm by myself and can go weeks without drinking if I just don't happen to go to events that require me to be extroverted. When I drink alcohol (or caffeine), I find that extended social encounters are much less draining to my energy levels. I think different reactions to alcohol consumption are at least partially due to biological hard-wiring. For example, DW says that when she drinks a lot, she will get the urge to drink again in the days following even when by herself. DW's father is sober now but was an alcoholic for many years. I actually think completely cutting out alcohol would be a net negative in my life, which is perhaps the same perspective an addict has?

[chenda]

For example, DW says that when she drinks a lot, she will get the urge to drink again in the days following even when by herself. DW's father is sober now but was an alcoholic for many years. I actually think completely cutting out alcohol would be a net negative in my life, which is perhaps the same perspective an addict has?

Yes I was the same, to the point I would actually drink as a way of dealing with hangovers.

I think I was addicted to the taste of alcoholic drinks rather than the alcohol itself, which is why the alcohol free drinks are so useful as a substitute. Although I liked the initial feeling of being a bit tipsy you quickly get diminishing returns. I suspect a lot of it is psychosomatic, as that first swig triggers a sort of relaxation response. Its notable airport departures are the one place where its socially acceptable to drink alcohol at anytime of day or night, even if its 5am because you want to get the holiday started.

[7Wannabe5]

@Biscuits and Gravy:

My DS35 is also motivated to drink due to OCD. OCD is really a tough condition. Massive doses of SSRIs will barely touch it.

@chenda:

If you want some more motivation, an article I just read on purposefully achieving transcendent state during sexuality noted that it requires abstinence from alcohol.

[chenda]

If you want some more motivation, an article I just read on purposefully achieving transcendent state during sexuality noted that it requires abstinence from alcohol.

Yes sex is usually better when sober. Better lubrication too.