Donkey Haute's Journal

[DonkeyHaute]

Hello All,

I've decided to throw my hat in the ring & join the forum ranks. I first found the ERE book in 2018, it opened my eyes and I changed my finances. I gave myself a comfortable cushion, kept a cushy job, maintained a high savings rate. However, it was surface level ERE - I neglected the philosophical work. I could recite it, but I wasn't truly living it. Cue the corporate downsizing goodbye cushy job. I decided 'now is as good a time as any for a change'. For clarity - I have not achieved FI entirely, instead I gave myself breathing room to decide what direction to head off in next.

I am starting to overwhelmingly *feel* the philosophy. What does it mean to value one's time? Now that I'm not constantly selling mine to an employer, I'm slowly internalizing my own understanding.

All that to say, I finally feel like I have something to say. Something to contribute. I am stumbling around, but finding guidance from those who have already dealt with the philosophical dragons.

I look forward to interacting in perspective altering ways.

[Smashter]

Welcome! Excited to follow along. I sometimes find myself hoping for a downsizing leads to "goodbye cushy job" situation to force myself into my next phase. What directions are you currently considering?

[DonkeyHaute]

Welcome! Excited to follow along. I sometimes find myself hoping for a downsizing leads to "goodbye cushy job" situation to force myself into my next phase. What directions are you currently considering?

Thank you, Smashter! Given that I had been playing ERE-lite the forced phase change was less worrisome than I imagined.

I have a lot to say about some of the mental changes that I have noticed since my departure from wage earning and it relates to your question, Smashter, about which course I might set out on, but the words aren't coming to me clearly at the moment. I'll try and get some coherent and structured thoughts together for a subsequent post.

As it stands right now I've started a small operation that takes a couple of hours a week and is turning a steady profit. It has been a challenge and a reward to take an idea and bring it into reality and on top of that have customers that enjoy the product. (Challenge = gov't paperwork, figuring taxes, etc // Reward = running the operations, creating the product, collecting customer feedback, etc). For now it is something I enjoy doing and there is a market for it, how far I will try and take it has yet to be decided.

(I realize I'm being incredibly vauge, I'm not sure how much detail I want to share / expose at the moment. I'll get over myself and share more, I just need to build up to it).

[ertyu]

I have a lot to say about some of the mental changes that I have noticed since my departure from wage earning

I'd be curious to hear about this as well

[DonkeyHaute]

I'd be curious to hear about this as well

First apologies for the delayed response - I was caught up in my own head trying to perfectly articulate my thoughts / feelings and then it hit me, the point of the journal is to practice the articulation, I'll never be able to express myself as precisely as I would like, but with practice I move closer to the goal.

For now I can say that I have made the following observations, some which may be incredibly obvious to others - but to reiterate my original post - to me I have found a HUGE difference between reciting something actually living the experience.

Observations:

1. Time is our only true currency, money is a derivative of time. Maximize on the 'get to spend time on/with' vs 'have to spend time on/with'
2. Money is literally everywhere and doesn't have to be acquired linearly - ie work X number of hours get Y number of dollars.
3. I find non-linear work enjoyable, even with the variance of income.
4. Friendships have changed - some of these relationships were built on commiseration. Commiseration is not a solid foundation.

Throughout this process I feel like I've had my world view rocked and now I am trying to put together a life philosophy that based on my own values and for the first time I've had to *seriously* ask myself what I value. To use Plato's analogy, I've left the cave & now I can't go back but I don't exactly know where I am going or how to get there. That is the reason for this journal, to help find my way.

PS - If you're reading this and thinking, wow all of this is so obvious, all I can say is its my journal and I'm allowed to be as obvious as I want!

[blink2ce]

I'm sure many of us, myself included, don't see it as obvious. For example, I'm still in the mode of salary employment and I can say that it definitely does train me to think of money as something that can only be obtained by giving up time. I think it requires practice to truly see all of the different ways that one can make a living.

[ertyu]

I still can't see money as being everywhere. Grew up during the mother of all economic crises and I walk around semi-terrified about all things money to this day

[DonkeyHaute]

I still can't see money as being everywhere. Grew up during the mother of all economic crises and I walk around semi-terrified about all things money to this day

Good point, perhaps that's an overstatement, but it highlights my shifted perception of reality. Once my eyes were opened I started seeing more and more opportunities everywhere. It doesn't mean that everyone of these ideas is sustainable long-term or is highly profitable, but I can see them & they are there. Before I walked around with the understanding that my job was the only way I could go out and make money. Now I know a job is one way I can go out and make money. I think this is an improvement in my own confidence, though it could be hubris. I've been insulated from true economic hardship - I've never worried where I was going to sleep or when I was going to eat next. I don't know if you are talking to that extreme but I know that this has an impact on my perspective.

If things got really bad for me, would I still feel the same? I imagine it would change my perspective, but by how much?

[DonkeyHaute]

I think it requires practice to truly see all of the different ways that one can make a living.

Well said!

Making this a more general statement: Is ERE the art of practice?*

Different levels of practice (Copying, Comparing, Compiling, Computing, Coordinating, Creating) naturally force deeper exploration of the desired subject(s) (money getting, cooking, housing accomodations, etc) and bring additional perspectives or dots to connect. Going beyond the different ways one can make a living to the different ways one can live!

*Or to make this even more general - Is life the art of practice?

(I'm rambling - stream of conciousness style - but I think I just realized how much deeper (or more powerful?) the philosophy of ERE is than I first thought. Again its the rush of emotion that alerts me to this rather than my previous intellectual recitation of the text. Maybe these are embarrassing confessions, but isn't that the point of writing on a public forum?!? All this to say this its amazing to have access to this forum and its participants!!)

[theanimal]

Throughout this process I feel like I've had my world view rocked and now I am trying to put together a life philosophy that based on my own values and for the first time I've had to *seriously* ask myself what I value. To use Plato's analogy, I've left the cave & now I can't go back but I don't exactly know where I am going or how to get there. That is the reason for this journal, to help find my way.

How are things going @DonkeyHaute? I’d be interested in hearing more about your journey related to the above.

[Laura Ingalls]

We had been in heavy accumulation phase that abruptly ended with layoffs twice.

In 2014, DH and both got laid off within a few weeks of each other. While we have both worked for money since neither one of us has had a full time job since. We entered a different phase just and neither of us have worked in the last 3 months.

Anyway opportunity often pop up from layoffs.

[DonkeyHaute]

How are things going @DonkeyHaute? I’d be interested in hearing more about your journey related to the above.

Allow me to be melodramatic:

I've been cast adrift, lost in the desert with a pile of books from men long dead, searching for my Self.

I've removed a lot - things I'd been carrying for years, things I thought I would need - they've been chisled away and let go. I'm beginning to feel lighter, feel a higher capacity to channel energies; there is still more to chisel away.

To paraphrase what I've read of Neitzsche so far: Becoming > Being

I aim to say, "I am becoming"

///

Putting aside the theatrics - I've mentally moved past level one of ERE, the money, and have been searching for an truthful answer to the loaded question: "Who am I?" I'm still excavating for a satisfactory answer. If I find it maybe there will be no need to share the answer, it will just become apparent.

///

In practical terms I've been deconstructing, to the highest resolution I am currently capable, the details of my internal life. Removing various mental crutches (alcohol, weed, porn, codependent relationships, time spent sucked into the algorithm's grasp, etc) and repairing structural foundations. I've found yoga + meditation, a self-guided version that works for me and allows me to attempt connection with the deepest parts of my Self. I've refound my love for punishing physical workouts - exploring how deep the pain cave really goes. Rediscovered a lost love of sitting with a good book for hours.

I have tremendous moments of doubt, but I am starting to laugh with a lightness like never before.