Where I am, where I'm going

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Dakotan
Posts: 13
Joined: Fri Feb 03, 2023 9:04 pm

Where I am, where I'm going

Post by Dakotan »

Who I am: Midwestern, mid-40s, never married/no kids. Spinster with several cats. I had a non-traditional childhood (no TV or school) so completely missed out on the “sit and obey orders for 8 hours a day” group training. I spent my late teens/early twenties kind of trying to catch up on the pop culture I missed, then gave up. I haven't watched TV in about 10 years and I don't have a cell phone. So I'm a bit of a misfit wherever I go. I like spreadsheets and poetry.

Finances/lifestyle: I own a small post-war bungalow. Renting out a room would get me further along, but living/being alone is an absolute priority for me. I have no debt. I'm not what one would call a high earner, but I save about 60% of my take-home pay, primarily in index funds because investing doesn't interest me much. I do own a car and use about 1/2 tank of gas a month. My office job is tolerable and allows me to work mostly independently on document-intensive projects.

ERE plans: I expect to retire from full-time work within 3-4 years. I enjoy foraging and canning, and I try to use my free time to learn and practice skills for the life I want, although my job sucks up so much energy that it's difficult. There are 21 quarts of homemade applesauce in my pantry. I want to live free of clocks. I don't want to waste sunny afternoons indoors. I want to read a novel without being interrupted. I want to write. I want to do difficult things of my own choosing. I want the time and space to find out what makes me happy. I'm never bored when I'm on my own, but being around people I don't like can really get old. And right now I spend my workday surrounded by women who have their Amazon packages delivered to the office instead of home so their husbands don't find out they're buying more shoes or whatever.

I have been reading this forum for a long time, and I guess I felt it was time to say hi. I'm not necessarily chatty, so we'll see how this goes. Hi.

AxelHeyst
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Re: Where I am, where I'm going

Post by AxelHeyst »

Dakotan wrote:
Fri Feb 10, 2023 10:34 pm
I like spreadsheets and poetry.
Ha, nice.
Dakotan wrote:
Fri Feb 10, 2023 10:34 pm
I want to do difficult things of my own choosing.
I love this.

Hi, welcome.

ertyu
Posts: 2893
Joined: Sun Nov 13, 2016 2:31 am

Re: Where I am, where I'm going

Post by ertyu »

Dakotan wrote:
Fri Feb 10, 2023 10:34 pm
Spinster with several cats.
Sounds like a good life :)
Hi!

mathiverse
Posts: 788
Joined: Fri Feb 01, 2019 8:40 pm

Re: Where I am, where I'm going

Post by mathiverse »

Welcome! No tv and no school as a kid? How did you like being homeschooled? Did your parents use a particular style such as unschooling or were you homeschooled in a more traditional style? Do you regret missing out on the sit still for 8 hours a day training?

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unemployable
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Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 11:36 am
Location: Homeless

Re: Where I am, where I'm going

Post by unemployable »

Dakotan wrote:
Fri Feb 10, 2023 10:34 pm
cats
Well your first obligation to the internet is to post pictures of said cats.

I have sat 17 cats since October and have seven cats pending on future sits, not double-counting a two-cat household for which I have two separate sits.

Dave
Posts: 545
Joined: Fri Dec 19, 2014 1:42 pm

Re: Where I am, where I'm going

Post by Dave »

Awesome intro post, welcome!
Dakotan wrote:
Fri Feb 10, 2023 10:34 pm
I want to live free of clocks.
Amen to this!

Regarding not having a phone, I'm curious about your experience of doing this and thoughts going forward as the world becomes more and more smartphone-oriented. I see three relevant areas: some things where a phone has zero application, some where it is helpful but not necessary (e.g. navigating, taking photos, pulling up a referene material), and some where it's absolutely necessary/borderline required given difficulty of secondary option (some public transit systems are moving this way, two factor authentication, etc.)

I've gone phone-free twice in the last decade, and doing so again has been on my mind as of late. It's not about the cost, as a value model + low cost plan doesn't cost much. It's more about the pernicious effects it has on thinking and behavior. But there are a few things that it's quite useful for and I see that trend ongoing and even strengthening.

ertyu
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Joined: Sun Nov 13, 2016 2:31 am

Re: Where I am, where I'm going

Post by ertyu »

Dave wrote:
Sat Feb 11, 2023 10:47 am

I've gone phone-free twice in the last decade, and doing so again has been on my mind as of late. It's not about the cost, as a value model + low cost plan doesn't cost much. It's more about the pernicious effects it has on thinking and behavior. But there are a few things that it's quite useful for and I see that trend ongoing and even strengthening.
While I waste time online in many and varied ways, im fine with my phone because i have zero non-essential apps on it. No news, no social media, no nothing. Only utilitarian apps plus an ebook reader. The phone does have a browser but I don't really find myself using it because it's too much of a pain to type on the phone keyboard with my sausage fingers + the sites on which i waste time (this forum, reddit) are text-based. I am on Discord and do waste a lot of time there, but I don't have the discord app on my phone. I do have the messenger my workplace uses but I've disabled notifications. I am not too into checking it because even though I have non-work contacts on it, I associate it mainly with work.

I do agree that living free of clocks is the best. I did it last year and I loved it. Not having my sleep schedule having to revolve my shifts at work, in particular, contributed to an increase in mental health.

Dakotan
Posts: 13
Joined: Fri Feb 03, 2023 9:04 pm

Re: Where I am, where I'm going

Post by Dakotan »

mathiverse wrote:
Sat Feb 11, 2023 9:32 am
How did you like being homeschooled? Did your parents use a particular style such as unschooling or were you homeschooled in a more traditional style? Do you regret missing out on the sit still for 8 hours a day training?
My parents were, um, a little odd and had a ton of children and "homeschooled" us all using a religion-based curriculum that was not comprehensive. When they decided it was time for me to start attending public school, as a teenager, I had never heard of the Vietnam War for example. I wouldn't recommend raising children like this.

The unstructured days were a positive (we had about 30 minutes of individual schooling each, and the rest of the day we were free). I am happy I missed the sit still/obey for 8 hours a day training; we were not built to live like that and I'm glad I never thought I was!

Dakotan
Posts: 13
Joined: Fri Feb 03, 2023 9:04 pm

Re: Where I am, where I'm going

Post by Dakotan »

Dave wrote:
Sat Feb 11, 2023 10:47 am
Regarding not having a phone, I'm curious about your experience of doing this and thoughts going forward as the world becomes more and more smartphone-oriented.
I never had a cell phone; when everyone around me started getting them in 2001 or so I said to myself, “That doesn't look like it would improve my life” and I've never regretted it. I keep an atlas in my car, and I'm comfortable with being lost occasionally or not having all the answers at hand all the time. I have constructed my life so a cell isn't “necessary.” For two factor authentication, I stick with banks etc. that can do it via email or voice calls. My employers have all had to learn they can't simply contact me whenever they want. Nobody is putting a leash on me.

Yes, my life is more difficult because I don't have a cell phone. Anytime you're out of step with the dominant society, it's inconvenient. It's just like being vegetarian: sometimes there won't be anything for me to eat and I'll skip a meal, and a lot of people (particularly where I live!) think I'm weird, but I've chosen how I want to live and that's that.

I'm sure there are choices you have made that make your life less "convenient" but feel worth it overall?

Dave
Posts: 545
Joined: Fri Dec 19, 2014 1:42 pm

Re: Where I am, where I'm going

Post by Dave »

@ertyu

That's the way to do it for sure. I don't keep social media on the phone, but I do work reading on my phone (emails, news, blog posts, SEC filings) and use the various chat apps to stay in touch with friends and family. Even just those things seem to alter my behavior, especially as they are available anywhere and anytime (I bring the phone).

@Dakotan

Interesting, thanks for the perspective! Haha yes, I have made one or two of those sorts of choices :). And I can even understand this particular tradeoff directly given that I've gone no-phone for 12 months stretches even when I had full-time employment. It's just an "edge case" for me in that it's (seemingly) on the brink of being worthwhile and not, for social reasons, work efficiency, and the continually increasing integration of mobile into seemingly everything.

I like how you frame it though, appreciate your thoughts and I have more reflecting to do here.

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