7Wannabe5-Take9-One Ordinary Day, With Peanuts

[Henry]

Then I can be simultaneously wheezing, sneezing, randomly shitting blood and mucus, swollen in all my joints, puffed up like a tick on prednisone, covered with large itchy patches, squinting with sticky red-rimmed eyes, and balding. Wish me luck on getting laid in that eventuality.

I'm sure there's a Subreddit community of men who fantasize about black plague chicks.

[7Wannabe5]

@Henry:

Well, yes, but as we used to say in my therapy group, everybody has a sex life, just not necessarily one you would prefer to take part in.

[mountainFrugal]

...but I want to contribute something intellectual property-ish also.

If you have not created something already, you can always do some spontaneous art while there and try selling that. Type a poem or write a 1 paragraph short story with a typewriter? $5. 3 for $10 once you have a stack of them? Buy a book get a poem/story for $3? People who are into old books would love that stuff.

[7Wannabe5]

@mF:

Doing something spontaneously onsite is a great idea! I should mention that the very cheap table-rent flea market in which we plan to be participating this summer is not necessarily towards the "loves old books" crowd. That's one of the reasons why the overall project-scape is going to be a bit towards performance art and/or immersive experience, perhaps inclusive of some kind of livestreaming for the benefit of my youngest sister's hipster friend circle. My second sister made an animatronic drumming bear for her children's music band. Your suggestion made me wonder whether it could be temporarily re-fashioned as a typing bear? Or maybe make our own special sort of claw machine? I have a brain-stormed list of about 100 different possible products I could contribute given that the broad overlapping themes are Lost Books, Found Arts, Up North Michigan, 4 Kooky Sisters Amusing Themselves. Some examples would be:

1) earrings made out of jack pine cones.
2) apple head doll kit.
3) children's book about the adventures of a 5 lined skink.
4) whimsical hypatufa planters and statuettes.
5) curated collection of classic used beach books, including an entire shelf containing nothing but yellowed mass market copies of "Jaws."
6) temporary tattoos based on my collection of photos of insects of the region.
7) wild huckleberry muffins.
8) ginseng growing starter kit.
9) natural wintergreen facial tonic.
10) cool old map reprints.
11) campfire sing-a-long books.
12) bird-watching hats.
13) kite-making kits.

[7Wannabe5]

SKILLATHON 2024

January:
1)Meta-Self-Improvement Retrospective Towards Skillathon Planning.
2)Intuitive Eating/Gentle Nutrition/Fun Movement.

February:
1)Sixty-Two Pick-Up.
2) GTD/Minimalism/Clutter-Control Reboot

March:
1) GTD/Minimalism/Clutter-Control Reboot cont.
2) Gonzo Capitalism: The Wilder Side

April:
1)GTD/Clutter Control Reboot cont./Spoon Theory Perspective
2) Data Science Project.
3) Poly-Homerous Planning/Smart Camper Build.
4) Mobile-Permaculture/Scavenger Walking.

May:
1)April Overflow.
2)Gonzo Capitalism Redux.

June:
1)The Wilder Side: Found Books and Lost Arts, a multi-faceted cooperative project with my three sisters.

July:
1)Transcendent Eco-Sexuality
2)Swimming

August: Data Science Project Redux/Finale.
September: YTBD
October: Tree Climbing
November: End of Life Planning/62 Pickup Redux.
December: Video Games/Electronics/Basic Math Videos.


I haven't yet been able to get started with my originally scheduled Skillathon events for April. I did finish my reboot of GTD (Getting Things Done) and some other of my typical spreadsheets/tracking systems. This led to the ever more clear realization that the vicious cycle which is Crohn's Disease Exhaustion/Typical Aging/Increasingly-Out-of-Shape has severely reduced the number of Life Energy Spoons I have in my drawer to accomplish anything on a daily basis. All my committed/theoretical/someday-maybe projects and associated files/folders are organized and locked and loaded with Next Actions, but since I apparently only have about 4 hours/day of physical/mental energy to direct to any task at this juncture, it seems almost like an exercise in sealing all my Next Actions in amber. I have a very simple Daily Routine/Weekly Routine (tidy kitchen/apply eczema cream/trash out etc.) , approximately 12-19 hrs of scheduled math tutoring for $ and community service each week, an ongoing cycle of 3 credit hours at double-speed (equivalent to 6 credit hours) of graduate course-work in IT/Data Science, and given the occasional pop-up priority, this is enough to pretty much tap me out for anything else beyond the level of flat-on-my-back leisure reading.

Since I was required to complete a mini-project in data science this month, I moved this focus up in my Skillathon schedule, but also left it in place for August, because that is the month I need to focus on my big final M.S. project. The mini-project was pretty boring; more like a crash course in Power BI, but I was able to amuse myself a bit by making it more mathematically convoluted than necessary. Why I continue on this track at all is a bit of a semi-deep mystery, since my vision of myself as full-time tech-worker is pretty much a mash-up of the Seinfeld episode in which Kramer just pretends like he is a corporate employee and the Seinfeld episode in which George's father leaves retirement to return to full-time employment and is forced out, because too tired/cranky to attend late meetings. I guess it's kind of like how some people learn how to weld so they can make $$ fixing stuff and other people learn how to weld so that they can dream about turning industrial trash into a giant fanciful garden statuary. I recently added "Create a new form of novel (tone=despair and/or sociopathy) based on screenshots of Microsoft Project" to my GTD Someday/Maybe spread-sheet page (irony noted.)

My romantic/sexual life also continues in slow-motion circling the drain fashion. Every month, one of my exes (or semi-exes?) gets in touch with me, takes me out to dinner, expresses his affection for me, but also his understanding (agreement) that I am in too terrible shape to get myself laid.

Even-though-or-because I am in such terrible shape, there is a possibility that when my commitment to tutor the disadvantaged children is over at the end of May, I will do something like give up my tiny garret apartment and rough-camp out of my Smart car in a National Forest. Whatever doesn't actually kill you makes you stronger, right?

[Henry]

Whatever doesn't actually kill you makes you stronger, right?

So you, your significant other and your best friend decide to go mountain climbing. During the climb, you lose your balance, fall down the mountain end up a quadriplegic. Your SO takes the opportunity to leave you and go with your best friend. So now you're stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of your life knowing your best friend is doing god knows what to your SO. Your ruminating on this state of affairs and some orderly comes over to change your diapers and they ask you what happened. You say I fell down a mountain and right now my best friend is banging my ex. The orderly processes that and says "Well, whatever doesn't actually kill you makes you stronger, right." And you think about it for a second and say to the orderly can you bring me a metal spoon for my jello, this plastic one isn't working. So the orderly brings you the metal spoon and you take that metal spoon and dig into his eye socket until his eyeball is hanging out of his fucking face and he starts screaming all types of bullshit and you use your plastic spoon to get a mouthful of jello and say that's such good advise I thought we both could use it.

[UrbanHomesteader]

Thanks for the update!

Sounds like you have hit a bit of a rough patch and are considering your options.

I totally relate to the limited spoons situation.

[7Wannabe5]

@Henry:

Although I agree with your general take on the truism, I have to note that I am actually happy that my practice of solo polyamory allows for my partners to seek/interact with other partners while I am feeling too irky to be sexual myself. I was reading a piece in the NYT this morning about humans who claim to be happy to be stuck in sexless marriages, and I know that I never again want to find myself in that situation, whether I found myself once again in the role of wanting more sex or if I was the one with sex-drive or ability vanquished for whatever reason. I mean, it's not like I don't ever flare up for a moment in jealousy or envy, but I am pretty well able to immediately reflect upon how I value my own freedom more, and I am also able to sincerely hope that everyone I know is having a great sex life even if I'm currently not up for one.

@UrbanHomesteader;

I'm actually in a better place after getting totally organized with GTD to the extent that my low level of vigor became undeniable. Prior to fully recognizing this reality, I was feeling very frustrated with myself for overall low performance. It was like I thought I had my "normal" spoon budget of 8 instead of my new reduced spoon budget of 4, so I was bouncing checks on my Vigor account at least twice a week. IOW, I found myself constantly over-estimating what I ought to be able to accomplish based on projection of "What I was able to do just 5 or 10 years ago." My physical vigor is worse than my mental vigor, so, for instance, right now I can type this post (task with very moderate mental energy requirement), but there is no way I could do a set of Next Actions such as Haul Laundry Down to Car-> Laundromat (task with moderate physical energy requirement.) If I scheduled myself to Go to the Laundromat and Do a 2 hour Data Science Lab Assignment tomorrow, that would be pretty much all I could accomplish beyond my very basic Daily Routine. All I really did today was tutor for around 4 hours, but as soon as I finish typing this post, I am going to collapse in my bed and just read light mystery novel until I fall asleep.

[thef0x]

Lurking / catching up but just wanted to chime in to say that despite the tough go of it with the wiles of our corporeal nature, you seem to be kicking ass in situ.

Sure it sucks to compare to how things used to be... I used to have hair lol

But, ya know.. bodies. (Insert that "wah wah" sound here).

So I hope you're congratulating yourself for how you've managed a tough situation -- something that's potentially hard notice from within but easy to spot from without. Glad to hear you've found acceptance there; I'm rooting for you and your recovery.

Also, for whatever reason, your capitalization of the word Vigor has thrown me and my scattered brain in the best kind of way. I've never been one to capitalize "sacred words" but I can get on board with Vigor, smart.

[7Wannabe5]

@thefOx:

Thanks for the kind words, but I think it is pretty clear that I haven't yet achieved acceptance if I am fantasizing about "curing" myself with nature immersion, like I am Heidi's sickly cousin Clara*, who only needed some fresh mountain air and goat's milk to free her from her wheelchair.

*Or Mary's sickly cousin Colin in "The Secret Garden", or the1970s YA novel about the chubby, rich girl who is stranded on an island, etc.