LookingInward wrote: ↑
Sat Dec 03, 2022 5:59 am
Based on my scattered thoughts, does someone has any recommendations where I can learn more about myself and how to "live a good life"?
Oooh, a fellow navel-gazer! Let me give this one a try as the forum's resident couch potato.
You say you want to be a brave person. You say you can't think yourself out of this one.
yourself out of it, then.
What do I mean by this?
You've already spent some time trying to think about things, watching youtube videos about helpful concepts, talking to a therapist, etc. All good and useful things. I think the next step is to try and crack this experientially.
How you can live a good life? Idk dude, one person can answer and that person is you - my good life and your good life will be different. So do some experimenting and try to find out what your good life is. Here's the steps:*
(*) this is an actual cognitive behavioral therapy exercise
1. Get yourself a journal or notebook that appeals to you and that looks like something you'll write in.
2. Sit down and brainstorm a bunch of activities you could be doing. These do not need to be the "right" activities. They just need to be activities: a hike? Take the bus to a neighborhood you've never been to and walk around? Find out where your local library is and visit? Look up an exercise video of something you like doing. Look up an exercise video of something you'd never even think of doing (e.g. a "girly" barre workout if you are a dude). Idk, these are the ones my brain is coming up with. Come up with some. They don't even need to be particularly fun or pleasant. They could be long or short. Brainstorm ... many. 50. 50 is a good number (it will be hard to make 50 you'll end up having to resort to ridiculous things -- wear two different color socks? -- this is the goal).
3. Choose how often you want to do this exercise given the rest of the schedule. 3x a week? Every other day?? Once a week? Once you decide, commit to it. A year has 52 weeks. Commit to doing the exercise.
4. Choose one activity from the list. You can use a random number generator, you can point with your eyes closed, or you can simply go down the list. Or up the list. Doesn't matter.
5. In your journal, write a thing that predicts what doing this activity will be like and how much you think you'll enjoy it on a scale of 1 to 10. You think it'll be lame and a complete waste of time and be complete cringe because [reasons] and you'll engoy it 1? Cool. Write that.
6. Now go do the activity.
7. After you've done it, sit with your journal. Journal about how the activity actually was. Good parts? Bad parts? Ways in which it wasn't how you thought it would be?
8. The following week, return to number 4. Repeat through 7 for a different activity.
A bunch of things will happen:
- you'll learn a bunch of stuff about yourself and your preconceptions.
- you'll have stuff to discuss with your therapist.
- you'll compare your predictions with how the actual experience was, and over time, you will learn where you tend to underestimate or overestimate experiences
- you'll have tried a bunch of stuff out of your comfort zone and you'll have been brave
- you will learn more about what aspects of what activities appeal to you and why. you will get better at designing activities that incorporate more of those aspects.
- you'll have done a bunch of stuff and you'll have thought a bunch of deep thoughts about it, and you'll be more interesting at parties
- bit by bit, you'll get unstuck
godspeed and good luck