Where were you 4 years ago

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guitarplayer
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Where were you 4 years ago

Post by guitarplayer »

I found this cool thread about Where were you 4 years ago that has now been locked away in the Politics section, so I am reviving it in the Inspiration section.

Exactly 4 year ago I was two weeks into my back then new village life that continues to this day. I had arrived here with a vision of staying for around 6 months and then heading to Edinburgh or Glasgow. Pretty hopeful and excited about what life had to offer, cementing my relationship with DW and aligning on goals / learning about each other.

I definitely had much less money, maybe 20% of what I and DW have now. Then I was much more focused on money, in some strange way though because it didn't push me to get a high paying job. I guess it was still building a solid buffer.

Reading the ERE blog, maybe starting to lurk here.

A ton of changes in the last 4 years but I am happy to say that the main trajectory is the same as it was back then. Just that life is much richer now.

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Lemur
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Re: Where were you 4 years ago

Post by Lemur »

My journal was only 5 months old at the time and I had just gotten my 2nd job post-military. Unbeknownst to me, I was being vastly underpaid in this gig. I was not a very happy person, mostly stressed out and only focused on making money. I did not read much. I was also totally unaware of things like climate change...and I ended up beginning my existential crises around this time having begun to question everything, experimenting with vegetarianism, lol...Crazy to think how much I've grown in those 4 years.

Now I've a something of a never finished philosophical framework that I derive my daily life from, have read many books covering a wide range of topics, increased net-worth from $100k-->$500/$600k (depending on market conditions), dabbled into ego development....all sorts of things. I am almost never bored anymore. And I'm an active nihilist as opposed to a passive one...I am also no longer an optimistically pessimistic person but a pessimistically optimistic person after having learned that happiness generally revolves around one's own relative expectations; and it is a skill, and a wisdom, to be able to set expectations appropriately regarding many matters.

Yes will agree that life has been much richer. Degrees of financial independence serve one more then just dollars on a screen.

AxelHeyst
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Re: Where were you 4 years ago

Post by AxelHeyst »

Whoa this is timely. Four years ago on June 15, 2018, I declared Serenity "done" and hit the road, after six months of monk-mode construction while living on the family land. I drove straight up to a secret climbing spot with a dozen plus of my dirtbag friends, at a Toulumne lookalike except public land, and did my first trad multipitch on lead (including a two-pitch bail back into the approach gorge which necessitated a 100' runout to ascend out of). I then meandered up to Truckee, rode mountain bikes, and met the woman I dated for the next 3.5 years.

I was FTE, 100% remote (since 2016). Struggling with existential burnout, but still trying different things to wring meaning/purpose out of my career.

My NW was $43k (it's now $140k or so, so not a huge change there). That point actually marks when my NW starting going up in any real way for the first time ever. (My previous relationship that lasted 2012-2017 was... uh, financially dysfunctional, among other types). It's kind of infuriating to think that I spent most of my career not building wealth at all, then when I got even slightly serious about frugality my savings shot up in a year or two and then bam, unemployed now. My NW is now almost entirely composed of accumulation between Jan 2018 and June 2021. If I'd had a smidge of personal finance sense from the beginning, I'd be easily FI now. Water under the bridge... that would have required me to have figured out and completely undone my codependence and other internal issues. I think the takeaway there is that the ROI on therapy can be a no brainer. If I'd followed some earlier instincts/advice, gone to therapy, and sorted out some of the unreasonable actions I was taking, I'd not have burned such a huge pile of cash.

I'd speed-read ERE six months previous, but kinda went 'yeah yeah' without absorbing it. I consider that very definitely pre-ERE days... ERE didn't start until Jan 2020 for me.

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mountainFrugal
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Re: Where were you 4 years ago

Post by mountainFrugal »

This week 4 years ago I was decompressing from start-up life on a backpacking trip with my partner in the high Sierra. Around that time was when I was reading the ERE blog reposts on a daily basis. I was drawn to ERE because it offered an alternative path to "tenure" from academia or winning the start-up lottery that was completely within my control and based on my behavior. In nearly every dimension of my life I am an order of magnitude happier compared to the grind back then (relationships excluded...those have always been good).

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fiby41
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Re: Where were you 4 years ago

Post by fiby41 »

I was on a bus stop.
Was on my way back home from an electrical transmission lines class that didn't happen because there were too few students.
Had some anxiety making a phone call. It rained on the way back home.

chenda
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Re: Where were you 4 years ago

Post by chenda »

I just don't know :|

theanimal
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Re: Where were you 4 years ago

Post by theanimal »

At the helibase in Tok, AK, getting ready to fly out into the 40 mile country to count trees for the day. It was my second rotation in the field during my first year working forestry. I loved the work and it was a very welcome change while recovering from hitting near rock bottom emotionally/mentally and financially after leaving the Arctic just 6 months before. Things have only continued to improve since then.

mathiverse
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Re: Where were you 4 years ago

Post by mathiverse »

== 4 Years Ago ==
  • Start of the job search that landed me in my current company
  • Not tracking spending much at all despite vague FIRE plans
  • In the Bay Area with no exit plan other than vague thoughts about moving away eventually
  • Luckless in love and continually trying and failing to change that
  • Planning to go to grad school in the search for more interesting work
== Now ==
. I'm back at my current company as of last week.
. I track my spending in detail.
. I'm with a great, long term partner.
. I moved away from the Bay Area and I plan never to return (other than for visits).
. I cancelled all of my grad school plans.

2Birds1Stone
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Re: Where were you 4 years ago

Post by 2Birds1Stone »

It was a Thursday, I was pretending to work and then played beach volleyball in an intramural rec league close to our apartment.

Mentally checked out of my career after a 4 year stint at the same company. Tried to leave a few months prior but they gave me a 30% raise to stay.

A few weeks later I would go on to interview for a new job at a startup. That turned out to be a terrible/wonderful mistake which led to my first 13 months stint of unemployed galivanting around the globe.

Net worth was <50% of what it is now and spending was the same, all adjusted for inflation.

jacob
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Re: Where were you 4 years ago

Post by jacob »

mathiverse wrote:
Tue Jun 14, 2022 1:05 pm
[...]
  • Planning to go to grad school in the search for more interesting work
[...]
== Now ==
. I cancelled all of my grad school plans.
[...]
In physics, the happiest people went to grad school but didn't pursue the career. More interesting work wasn't guaranteed. (Physics is not a growing field.) Instead grad school changed how people approached their work if not their life paradigm. A useful grad school experience changes one's mindset from being someone who good at answering given questions in a textbook/box to someone who is good at coming up with [informed] questions as well.

Maybe think about it from that perspective?

matchewed
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Re: Where were you 4 years ago

Post by matchewed »

4 years ago my wife and I were not married but we were engaged, she was not pregnant, and we had not yet moved into our single family house. We had probably just finished and rented out the third floor of the multifamily we own while living in the second floor. The first floor had been rented for 8 months or so at this time.

I was taking classes part-time while working full-time; I was on a doomed to fail project at work (no resources allocated to a technically demanding part needing to be made).

Financially we were at 50% of where we are now. I didn't anticipate that we'd get so far so quickly just by focusing on ensuring we didn't spend frivolously.

7Wannabe5
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Re: Where were you 4 years ago

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

Looking over my journal entries from 4 years ago, it seems like I am still stuck in the same pinball table.

chicago81
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Re: Where were you 4 years ago

Post by chicago81 »

Four years ago in the summer of 2018, I sold both of my rental apartments. They were both in the same building. The owners in the building voted to accept an offer from an investment company to purchase the whole building at once. At a price that was quite a bit higher than the fair market value that individual units had been selling for. Huge windfall for me. Big infusion of cash, and I finally got rid of having the headaches of managing rentals. I used the proceeds to pay off the mortgage on my primary residence, and threw the rest in an index fund.

shaz
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Re: Where were you 4 years ago

Post by shaz »

Four years ago, a large amount of my time and energy was being consumed by trying to be the main support system for my mom after her husband passed away the year before. Being support for mom indirectly means being support for my brother because mom provides all of his support. It wasn't until the pandemic shutdown that I realized I had gotten sucked back into much the same bad situation I had fled 25 years earlier, and started making the effort to once again extricate myself.

I was getting bored at work but it wasn't until late 2019 that I moved into a totally different role.

I still struggle with family relationships - I don't seem to be good at finding anything in between complete avoidance and getting buried under their demands and expectations. Also I can see now that the new role at work was a temporary fix although it has been very good for my finances.

I didn't yet have cancer and took good health too much for granted.

I was probably already FI but didn't realize it. At least now DH and I have set approximate dates to end paid employment and move on to our next adventures.

Stahlmann
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Re: Where were you 4 years ago

Post by Stahlmann »

@guitarplayer, now I can make you my student of revivng old topics :P

oldbeyond
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Re: Where were you 4 years ago

Post by oldbeyond »

It’s a good exercise to reflect on what changes the last few years have brought. At first I felt a tinge of guilt for having stagnated in several areas, but when I recall my lived experience it is obvious that a lot has changed and almost all of it for the better.

I’ve gotten married and become a father (these transformations where obviously not forgotten). I’ve gone from being overwhelmed, on the road to burnout to being quite comfortable in my career, with a sense of agency and mastery. I’ve implemented GTD, formulated (and continually reformulated) my vision and goals, and made journaling and meditation into a habit. I’ve read more and been more discerning and ambitious in my selection of reading materials. I’ve lost some muscle mass, but also quite a bit of body fat. I’ve neglected cardio but worked my way up to 3x8 pull-ups with good form. I’ve learned quite a bit about bike maintenance, gardening, ecology, permaculture, systems thinking, ego development, handyman stuff, psychology and project management. I’ve tripled my net worth and stretched my parental leave into a full year off work together with my daughter. I’ve written several orders of magnitude more than in all previous years combined.

I guess the biggest change is that four years ago, I thought in lists like the paragraph above, with a lot of disparate goals to be met. By now these “achievements” are more like side effects of my evolving values and identity. Part of it is understanding systems thinking, but a lot of it is a result of increased individuation. Embodying personality is a quality I’ve admired in other people, that I’m beginning to explore myself now.

AnalyticalEngine
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Re: Where were you 4 years ago

Post by AnalyticalEngine »

oldbeyond wrote:
Fri Jun 17, 2022 12:17 am
Part of it is understanding systems thinking, but a lot of it is a result of increased individuation.
This has been my experience as well. You start to realize that ERE isn't a "real thing" that you just someday "achieve." Anything you can do in FI, you can do now. Rather, what's more important is understanding systems thinking, understanding your own agency, and having a very clear idea of who you are and how you want to fit into the broader picture of the world. If you can do that, all other things follow.

M
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Re: Where were you 4 years ago

Post by M »

Four years ago this day, at this time, I was probably browsing the ere forums. I still have the same house, same car, same job, same spouse, etc. I'm actually going through the same soap supply still (years ago I bought a bunch of 24 packs of soap on sale for 2 dollars per pack. I bought all of the soap on impulse).

Maybe I should buy a different kind of soap or something. Spice things up a little lol.

IlliniDave
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Re: Where were you 4 years ago

Post by IlliniDave »

Well, in June of 2018 ...

That was only 2-3 mos out from my mom's passing, a period that is still somewhat foggy in retrospect. By that time I' could make a credible argument for having achieved a degree of FI. Mostly I was hanging around waiting to turn 55 which got me over the first significant knee in my employer's old retirement system which I was grandfathered into. At the time I had a little under a year to go, but for reasons galore I stuck around for a little over 3 more years.

Now I'm retired for 10.67 months, enjoying a little sporadic internet connectivity thanks to the kindness of a neighbor. Looking out the window watching the waves roll in. The temp is forecasted to reach the low 90s today, so the main chore is keeping cool. That summer I did without AC in Alabama should pay dividends today, haha. Livin' the dream.

Looking back in light of the fact that things are going pretty well so far, whatever I was thinking I was probably on the right track.

bostonimproper
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Re: Where were you 4 years ago

Post by bostonimproper »

Luckily for me I journal a lot so I am actually able to answer this!

Four years ago, I was on a three week break before I started a new job in a new career, going from consulting to tech. Apparently I played Civ V a lot. I was also doing wedding and honeymoon planning, since both were slated for the fall, and figuring out where to buy “casual” clothes now that I didn’t need to wear button downs every day.

At the same time, one of my best friends/ex-roommates was falling into deep alcoholism. It had been a slow descent for years, really, but had quickly precipitated into something more acute. He was up to a handle of whiskey a day, and had a couple of seizure incidents from trying to taper down on his own.

It was bad enough that his coworkers were calling me to check if he was okay because he failed to show up to work for a couple weeks. I would go over to his apartment every other day and he’d lie to me about his drinking. I forced him to tag along with me as I grocery shopped and did other errands to get him outside a bit and made sure we had lunch together to get some real food in him. I still remember his face at the time— he looked like a bloated corpse.

This went on for months until we got his parents involved and forced him into his first (of many) stints in detox/rehab. The whole thing was upsetting, both because I was worried for my friend, but also because it triggered a lot of negative feelings and memories in me and my then-fiancé/now-husband on dealing with addiction with our own families. I hated hated hated acting the part of my friend’s social worker, essentially, and in some ways I think the whole dynamic really made me emotionally distance myself from our friendship in a way that I don’t think it’ll ever “go back.” But if I hadn’t played the role (and he’s told me this as well) I’m pretty sure he’d be dead today.

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