Eccentric house remodelling for achieving mental peace

[Stahlmann]

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[7Wannabe5]

David Holmgren promotes the concept of multi-generational housing, not necessarily even within biological kinship relationships, in “Retrosuburbia.”

I think the fact that we all are supposed to be individual units of productivity in the machine limits our ability to live together. Living by ourselves maximizes our potential productivity within the system even as it increases our dependency by increasing our expenses. That said, I must admit that I am currently very much enjoying taking a vacation from living with grouchy old men, so...?

[zbigi]

I know a guy my age who decided to stay home with his parents instead of taking off on his own. He (+wife and kid) currently occupy the first floor of the parents house, while parents live on ground floor. It's working out very well for them, but that's only because he have always had a very good relationship with his parents (I think that's mostly thanks to both his parents and him having "good character" and being very good and relationships in general).
I can't really see it working out in other cases though - who'd want to spend their entire life in close quarters with people they don't necessarily get along with that well? And it's not really fixable, casue you can't really change ("fix") your parents.

[jacob]

Has anybody encountered relationship where kid/parents decided to team up and remodel their house to escape from "house rich, cash poor" situation to have some kind of safety margin during parent's retirement (they don't have it know according to my thinking process)?

Look up "in-law suite". They're not uncommon in the US. It's often garage space or a second floor that will be sacrificed. They can also be rented out to non-family.

[white belt]

I'll second the suggestion on checking out Holmgren's RetroSuburbia. The online version is available for free (donation only). He really lays out all of the considerations and even walks through a few different real world case studies. From memory, I believe one major consideration is the need for some autonomy among residents in co-housing situations. He gives examples of things like sound insulation and multiple food storage/preparation locations. One case study has multiple studios and small apartments with small kitchens and bathrooms on a shared acreage that includes a larger communal kitchen, shared gardens, and other amenities, which allows for autonomy while at the same time still enabling some benefits of sharing.

As Zbigi points out, I think being able to successfully live with parents and/or relatives will be highly dependent on the relationship. For example, I would have no issue living in a shared space with my parents, provided we each have our appropriate level of autonomy. However, I know DGF would never live in a shared space again with her parents because her Dad is very controlling and causes her too much anxiety.

Jacob beat me to the concept of "in-law suite".

Edit: I'd also add that one thing Holmgren discusses is how the level of autonomy preferred will change over different life stages, so having the flexibility to adapt the housing is important. For example, a young couple might be comfortable living in a shared bedroom in the main house, but then they might have children and want to live in a detached apartment/studio on the property for a bit more autonomy, then the children might get older and again they may move back into the main house, and so on.